Biological clock... broken?

Tube_socks

I'll be 34 in exactly a month from today. Instead of worrying about my biological clock ticking away and how I'm "running out of time", I'm worried that my clock is broken. I'm not feeling the fear of not setting down soon/ kids.

Granted, I'm divorced. I was married for a bit over 10 years but no kids (thank God) came out of it. So I've been there, done that as far as big wedding, bought house, etc.

I think I'd love to get married again,and even have a kid or 2. But I keep thinking "eh, I have plenty of time" when in reality I don't.

So is it broken??? Seems my biological clock was louder, going strong when I was married and in my 20s vs now!

jenbit

Nice double post lol :laugh:

I threw my biological clock out after having my 2 kids.. People constantly ask me if I want more.... LOL

Not every women wants kids and sometime the biological urge decreases with time rather then increasing

christine24t

I think with women having children later and later, our biological clocks are delayed somewhat. My mom says when she had me (at 30) people thought she was getting up there in years to have a child, but now days 30s and early 40s are the norm.

The only thing I would suggest though is if you're getting up to the end of your childbearing years to make sure you are still fertile. You wouldn't want to wait until you're older and then find out for whatever reason you're not fertile.

fullofwhimsy

“Having a baby is like getting a tattoo on your face. You really need to be certain it's what you want before you commit.”

“I still can’t say whether I ever want children….I can only say how I feel now--grateful to be on my own. I also know that I won’t go forth and have children just in case I might regret missing it later in life; I don’t think this is a strong enough motivation to bring more babies onto the earth.”

Both quotes - Eilizabeth Gilbert


Not sure I've got a clock at all. Will be 35 this summer and still don't have any yearning for children.
In fact, I could only ever consider it in the context of a partner who I looked at and thought "he'd be a great father and provider...maybe I might want a child?". But the truth is.. I really didn't strongly want one, even then. I thought for a while I was just immature and thought I had all the time in the world..but I think that feeling is actually just not wanting the house, marriage, kids etc. Realizing now the traditional life path might not be a fit for me.

TheKitsune6

I'm pretty good with my cats and dog. I do want more of those.

You can't crate train babies.

Green_eyed_beauty

Wow... I thought I was the only one that felt like my "clock was broken"... I'll be 30 this year.
Divorced after a 7 yr marriage, no kids - thankfully!!

Seems like to start from square one, meet someone, possibly get married and all that lovely junk would just take too long to do all over again.

I still don't know if I want kids... but maybe with the right man... someday.

UrbanLotus

I'm the same way - I'm 33, never married, no kids and don't feel the push for kids AT ALL. I do want to be in a relationship, but I'm not in a hurry to get married either. I've often thought I might be broken lol/

kls13la

I'm 38 and have never had any desire for kids. In fact, being around kids actually makes the feeling not to have any much stronger.

RunIntheMud

It's completely up to each woman and doesn't mean anything is broken. I was about to post a quote, but saw that Dani had it already. I use that second one often when talking to girlfriend's who feel they need to have kids because "that's what women do" not because they want to.

Never force anything.... if you are unsure about being a parent, don't pressure yourself into the situation because society says it's "normal". If at a later age you decide you'd like a child, then think about it more. But, for now... don't stress.

christine24t

Run you make a good point...you should have kids because you want them! There is nothing worse than seeing a child whose parents clearly didn't want a child. It's heartbreaking.

yoovie

im going to end up a role model. Whether it as a parent, step parent, aunt or some other method. I don;t have the desire to hurry up and make a baby before my uterus turns to dust. I am focusing more on making sure that by the time there are any children around looking up to me, im a strong healthy balanced character that will influence them in the right direction and I'll never have to be one of those 'Practice what I say, Not what I Do' - kinds of role models.

I also am the kind of person that believes that the decision to have kids or make kids is something you dont decide alone. So when Im a single chick running around doing my own thing, thinking about making babies isnt an option unless Im thinking about it with someone else.

Kids are going to be the scariest biggest adventure of my life, Im sure. Not something Im going to dive into without giving it a lot of thought.

UrbanLotus

I also am the kind of person that believes that the decision to have kids or make kids is something you dont decide alone. So when Im a single chick running around doing my own thing, thinking about making babies isnt an option unless Im thinking about it with someone else.

Well said, I think thats why I don't really feel it - but then I look at all these single women who are dying for babies and wonder why i don't feel like that!

christine24t

With all this being said, every time I see a little kid my clock turns on...until they start whining.

But I do want kids in the long run...But I don't think I'll ever find a man to marry, so most likely I will be having kids by myself. I want to be a mother, whether with a man (which is preferable) or without a man, whether adoption or a sperm donor.

I recently read that more people are having kids with a friend, in a non romantic relationship, like the movie Friends with Kids.
I could do that. I would really like my kid to have a father.

cheerforsteelers

I think that's totally okay...if it's "broken". My mom had me at 21 going on 22 and she was married young as well. She teases me now about having children since I'm past the age she had me. I have friends who have kids and seeing the way they deal with children makes me never want to have any. Then I really think about it and I know I would love kids someday, just not now. I don't have the urge (anymore) to hurry up and have kids.

yoovie

There are so many women out there that think that life starts when you have a baby. They are in a rush for their life to start. Chomping at the bit to pick out a husband and a diaper bag. Kind of like the girls that are chomping at the bit to get married. Lying in bed at night trying to WANT IT HARD ENOUGH that he picks up on the radio waves and proposes. Then they get to pick out their dress and make all the plans and get excited about the honey moon and finally get to start panicking about their biological clock.

for me personally, being married is going to be about getting the most out of our lives, being able to do more, handle more, go farther, give more effort and have help because together - more is just possible. And for me, personally, kids are going to be an amazing adventure, but not because of my age -just because I know I will have a solid healthy outlook on life and I want that to be my legacy.

Tube_socks

Good stuff.

I guess it feels broken because when I was in my 20s, the only thing I ever wanted was babies with my then husband. He had fertility issues and we had to do IVF several times. We had a couple of miscarriages and was the most painful time but time healed all and now I'm so at peace w/o kiddos when 7 years ago, the thought of being a childless woman brought instant tears.

If I were to get married again, maybe I'd feel that tug in my heart to make a baby with the one but no point in stressing about not stressing. (see how crazy I am??)

Tube_socks

There are so many women out there that think that life starts when you have a baby. They are in a rush for their life to start. Chomping at the bit to pick out a husband and a diaper bag. Kind of like the girls that are chomping at the bit to get married. Lying in bed at night trying to WANT IT HARD ENOUGH that he picks up on the radio waves and proposes. Then they get to pick out their dress and make all the plans and get excited about the honey moon and finally get to start panicking about their biological clock.

for me personally, being married is going to be about getting the most out of our lives, being able to do more, handle more, go farther, give more effort and have help because together - more is just possible. And for me, personally, kids are going to be an amazing adventure, but not because of my age -just because I know I will have a solid healthy outlook on life and I want that to be my legacy.

I was like what you described in paragraph 1.

Divorce taught this girl a lot and am now paragraph 2! :drinker: