Trainer telling me I'll get "bulky"
carissar7
Posts: 183 Member
Hi everyone. I am fairly new to the lifting world and just starting going to the gym regularly 4x a week a few months ago. I have a session with a trainer once a week and do all of the other workouts on my own. The only reason I wanted a trainer is for guidance, I don't want to be "that person" in the gym with poor form who looks like they have no idea what they're doing. But I have a bit of a problem here....
My trainer really loves lower-weight, high-rep exercises, mostly using 10 pound dumbbells and bosu balls. I can't stand them. By the 16th one on the 3rd set I am DONE!!! It feels more like I'm fatiguing my muscles rather than actually gaining any strength. I am a female (obviously lol), and my trainer is also a female. I've told her before that I'd like to start incorporating heavier weights into my routine with either some of the machines or free weights. She said that she isn't a fan of heavier weights because "you'll bulk up". I KNOW this isn't true but I'm not about to argue with her. I really like working with her but we don't seem to have the same opinions on strength training. I want to be doing deadlifts and barbell squats but instead she has me using resistance bands and the Ab-X machine. I only visit with her once a week but at the price I am paying per month I feel that it's a waste of money if she's not helping me achieve my personal goals. I understand that SHE is the trainer and obviously has much more experience than I do, but I see her doing the same exact exercises that she does with me, with everyone else she trains. Most of those people are very overweight or much more out of shape than I am. I am in pretty good shape, but still looking to lose another 5-10 lbs of fat and looking to gain more muscle. Am I wrong for thinking that I should have a different routine than someone looking to lose serious pounds? I could always switch trainers but she is always there and I feel it would be awkward if I suddenly just stop meeting with her for someone else. She is in great shape (which I know isn't as important) but I just can't see how she looks the way she does from using 10 lb dumbbells. I can't cancel my sessions either, because I'm tied into a contract.
I originally thought that having a female trainer, they would better understand why we want to lift in the first place. We've all heard the countless stories of male trainers telling women to go use the light machines instead of free weights for whatever reason. I guess it all depends on the person.
I'm meeting with her tomorrow and am telling her about the 5x5 program. All I want her to help me with is proper technique and form. I go to the gym by myself and am too shy to ask any of the guys in the free weights section for help. I wish I had a gym buddy for moral support, but it's just me. I'd love to know what some of you think of my current situation. If after telling her about what I want to do, and she turns her nose up to it, should I get a new trainer?
My trainer really loves lower-weight, high-rep exercises, mostly using 10 pound dumbbells and bosu balls. I can't stand them. By the 16th one on the 3rd set I am DONE!!! It feels more like I'm fatiguing my muscles rather than actually gaining any strength. I am a female (obviously lol), and my trainer is also a female. I've told her before that I'd like to start incorporating heavier weights into my routine with either some of the machines or free weights. She said that she isn't a fan of heavier weights because "you'll bulk up". I KNOW this isn't true but I'm not about to argue with her. I really like working with her but we don't seem to have the same opinions on strength training. I want to be doing deadlifts and barbell squats but instead she has me using resistance bands and the Ab-X machine. I only visit with her once a week but at the price I am paying per month I feel that it's a waste of money if she's not helping me achieve my personal goals. I understand that SHE is the trainer and obviously has much more experience than I do, but I see her doing the same exact exercises that she does with me, with everyone else she trains. Most of those people are very overweight or much more out of shape than I am. I am in pretty good shape, but still looking to lose another 5-10 lbs of fat and looking to gain more muscle. Am I wrong for thinking that I should have a different routine than someone looking to lose serious pounds? I could always switch trainers but she is always there and I feel it would be awkward if I suddenly just stop meeting with her for someone else. She is in great shape (which I know isn't as important) but I just can't see how she looks the way she does from using 10 lb dumbbells. I can't cancel my sessions either, because I'm tied into a contract.
I originally thought that having a female trainer, they would better understand why we want to lift in the first place. We've all heard the countless stories of male trainers telling women to go use the light machines instead of free weights for whatever reason. I guess it all depends on the person.
I'm meeting with her tomorrow and am telling her about the 5x5 program. All I want her to help me with is proper technique and form. I go to the gym by myself and am too shy to ask any of the guys in the free weights section for help. I wish I had a gym buddy for moral support, but it's just me. I'd love to know what some of you think of my current situation. If after telling her about what I want to do, and she turns her nose up to it, should I get a new trainer?
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Replies
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Hey, Carissa. A majority of personal trainers believe that they know everything by reading a single book. Furthermore, pretty much 90% of what trainers do is helping people lose weight. Even folks with a weight lifting cert at USAW don't seem to be too experienced.
Also, you are not going to get big and bulky from lifting weights. You simply do not have the testosterone for it. I watch a lot of strength training and weightlifting videos of both men and women and cannot disagree more against a woman getting big and bulky from lifting weights.
One dude who's videos I really enjoy is chef buff. He talks about this topic in this video:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PkWMjOlYVI0
Personally, I would still complain and try and get my money back. Just try and more careful next time about making a commitment like this and signing a contract. But then again maybe it's my fear of commitment that keeps me single. haha0 -
I'd show her programme you want to follow, and ask if she's able to show you form: it might be that she doesn't know how to do them either! If she says no, I'd ask if she can recommend someone who can help you meet your goals. Ultimately, the sessions are for your benefit, not her paychecks.0
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er, you are paying her for these sessions so for that time you are her employer. tell her what you want to do in that time, and if she can't do it then she needs to get you out of that contract. give her the links to Mehdi doing the full programmes, so she has a chance to watch and learn.
how many more sessions are you tied into?0 -
She is working for you on YOUR goals not hers, if she cant help you then you should request money back and hire someone who will help you with Your goals.0
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first thing: you will not get bulky doing stronglifts.
low reps = dense but not really bulky muscles, if at some point you want to get more bulky, switch to 8-12 reps.
If you are eating to lose wight (below TDEE you will not gain significant amount of muscles)
now, you are the one who is paying so be clear: this is what you want to do, and you are paying her to check your form, if she does not agree, stop paying.
watch youtube vids of lifts, if it feels like she is not showing them correctly to you, quit her. a lot of PT have no clue.0 -
I originally thought that having a female trainer, they would better understand why we want to lift in the first place. We've all heard the countless stories of male trainers telling women to go use the light machines instead of free weights for whatever reason. I guess it all depends on the person.
Er, no...I have spoken to all the female trainers in the gyms I have belonged to and there is a very good reason I would never, ever (hey this is one particular area I am sexist I am afraid) have a female personal trainer. They all say the same, stupid, tired old bull**** about getting bulky. FFS you would think they would be more in tune with how bodies work...nah ah!
All my trainers have been male. As soon as you say strength training, lifting heavy or they see how strong you are, their eyes light up and then they will push you properly with the heavy weights. Get a different trainer or tell her what you want, what your goals are. If she cannot see past the same old tired ****e and keeps repeating it, then get rid. Simples, you are paying a lot of money for proper sound advice, not phooey...0 -
I'd say "I don't care about getting bulky, I want to do this and I want you to show me form."
In my mind.0 -
So, I have had good PT's and bad PT's. I had a couple that were really helpful in teaching me good form and classic weightlifting techniques. I had many that were awful, and would not listen to the feedback I was giving them.
I really wish I had my money back from the awful ones!
The PT works for you. I don't think you have a good fit here, and I would fire her and get my money back, so that I could find one who would work with me on what I wanted to do.0 -
Find a trainer who even lifts. :bigsmile:0
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well. if you are paying her.. then you should have her do what you want! I do stronglifts and im the farthest thing from bulky.0
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Why not bring in a copy of "Starting Strength" for her? Or compile a list of links to proper lifting form from reputable sources? And maybe a few articles about how, exactly, women put on muscle if they are natural lifters.
I agree with other folks that you probably need to find someone who will help you achieve your goals, but throwing some accurate information at your current trainer might be a good first step - spreading the word, and all that.
As for worrying about seeing her around the gym - try not to worry about that. Anyone who works with clients has clients leave, for all sorts of reasons. If she can't be professional about it, you don't want to work with her anyhow. I would probably feel the same way in your position (middle-child-mid-western-middle-class syndrome is what I call it), but you have some weights to lift, and you need someone to work with you on that. End of story.0 -
:noway: :grumble: :explode:
dont let her push you around.... ask her to do some reading also..... and stick to your guns n lift heavy...
All the best...0 -
Update : Wow! Thanks everyone for all your replies. I met with her after work today and said that I wanted her to show me proper technique and form on the free weights. She thought I was crazy, and of course I got the whole "you'll get bulky!" lecture again but I made her do it. I told her about the exercises involved with stronglifts, and that they are 5 sets of 5 reps. Of course at first, she brought me over to the smaller barbells with weights already on them (I don't know what these are called...), and then I told her no, I want to do them with the olympic/straight bar, in a squat rack. So she brought me to the smith machine. I said NO!!! FREE WEIGHT SQUAT RACK! NOW! I got more crazy looks from her but on we went. So overall I am happy with how it went. I don't care what she thinks, I know I'm not going to get bulky.0
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I'd say "I don't care about getting bulky, I want to do this and I want you to show me form."
In my mind.
That's basically exactly what I said. She thought I was crazy, but still showed me the exercises anyway. I didn't even try to argue with her about how I WON'T get bulky, I just said that I don't care if I do.0 -
er, you are paying her for these sessions so for that time you are her employer. tell her what you want to do in that time, and if she can't do it then she needs to get you out of that contract. give her the links to Mehdi doing the full programmes, so she has a chance to watch and learn.
how many more sessions are you tied into?
I am currently signed up to my local LA Fitness. Anyone who goes there knows that the trainers are very hit or miss, but it's literally right next door to my job so it's very easy for me to go there. I signed up for the "fast-track" (basically the cheapest of the cheap program they offer), which is twice a week for the first month and once a week for the rest of the year. They don't offer any way to pay per session, you either sign up for the year or you don't. If you want to quit, you have to pay the remaining balance.0 -
first thing: you will not get bulky doing stronglifts.
low reps = dense but not really bulky muscles, if at some point you want to get more bulky, switch to 8-12 reps.
If you are eating to lose wight (below TDEE you will not gain significant amount of muscles)
now, you are the one who is paying so be clear: this is what you want to do, and you are paying her to check your form, if she does not agree, stop paying.
watch youtube vids of lifts, if it feels like she is not showing them correctly to you, quit her. a lot of PT have no clue.
Thanks for the advice. Ultimately what I'm trying to achieve is some extra fat loss while gaining strength, I am not seeking to gain bigger muscle mass, but I wouldn't mind it if that happened. I eat around 1500 calories a day naturally (according to MFP), and my calculated TDEE is around 2195 (I don't know how accurate that is). For the past 2 months I've been experimenting eating Paleo-ish, so low-carb, high-fat, high-protein. I don't even see how it's possible for me to eat at a caloric excess because I get full very easily.0 -
That's basically exactly what I said. She thought I was crazy, but still showed me the exercises anyway. I didn't even try to argue with her about how I WON'T get bulky, I just said that I don't care if I do.
Honestly if she kept up with her own field, she'd understand that barbell lifting and heavy weight training in general is gaining huge momentum, especially with the ladies, and so if she wants to keep her job, she might think about letting go of antiquated ideas and getting with the program.
You're ahead of her in that aspect, quite frankly. So maybe find a PT who has an understanding of what is going on and who isn't afraid to embrace what is happening right now and who has actual knowledge of and expertise in what you're about to do and who can guide you properly. It's your money. Pay an actual expert who has a clue about barbells.
Then again "bulky" has a different meaning to different women (some define "bulky" as anything more than the lithe Pilates look with not much muscle definition at all depending on their "fitness" or beauty ideal), so you honestly may not even be talking about the same word in the same context.0 -
Update : Wow! Thanks everyone for all your replies. I met with her after work today and said that I wanted her to show me proper technique and form on the free weights. She thought I was crazy, and of course I got the whole "you'll get bulky!" lecture again but I made her do it. I told her about the exercises involved with stronglifts, and that they are 5 sets of 5 reps. Of course at first, she brought me over to the smaller barbells with weights already on them (I don't know what these are called...), and then I told her no, I want to do them with the olympic/straight bar, in a squat rack. So she brought me to the smith machine. I said NO!!! FREE WEIGHT SQUAT RACK! NOW! I got more crazy looks from her but on we went. So overall I am happy with how it went. I don't care what she thinks, I know I'm not going to get bulky.
Those are called the fitted barbells or something like that.
Unfortunately, until you get a personal training cert or until you look like a female body builder, some people within the fitness industry will not think that you know what you're doing. At least that's what I've noticed in my experience. I find it funny for someone to notice flaws in my methods when they are less educated. Thing is though, these people tend to be naturally stronger than I am.
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My first PT was like this, she also got me doing high rep/bosu type circuits.. Unfortunately I didn't do enough research.
Next time round, loads of research and I have a great one now. He lifts himself and used to be an Olympic lifter. Every sessions we are doing big compound moves and in buzzing after every session!
See if you can get your money back.
Good luck
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My first PT was like this, she also got me doing high rep/bosu type circuits.. Unfortunately I didn't do enough research.
Next time round, loads of research and I have a great one now. He lifts himself and used to be an Olympic lifter. Every sessions we are doing big compound moves and in buzzing after every session!
See if you can get your money back.
Good luck
Yes! She has me doing those too. Lots of high-rep, fast-paced supersets and even has me squatting on buso balls while they are upside down (I'm 99% sure this is dangerous and I should NOT be doing it). When I signed up for the training sessions, I was able to "choose" who I wanted to be with out of the trainers they had available. I said it doesn't matter, set me up with someone who's "good". So he set me up with my current trainer. Honestly, I've taken a good look at the trainers my LA fitness has to offer and I'm not impressed with any of the exercises they do with anyone. Many of their clients I haven't even seen pick up a dumbbell, they are on the floor doing crunches. I'd rather ask for help from one of the big beefy guys in the free weights section.0 -
I'd rather ask for help from one of the big beefy guys in the free weights section.
They would probably be more helpful ; )0 -
I'd rather ask for help from one of the big beefy guys in the free weights section.
They would probably be more helpful ; )
Lol! Totally did not mean it in that sense but I agree
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