Date tonight...third strike or third time's a charm?
UrbanLotus
Posts: 1,163 Member
I'm hoping its the latter! This is my third date this week and the first 2 were awful - I actually ended up walking out on one ![:\](https://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/resources/emoji/confused.png ":\")
. All online/first dates, I'm not super excited about this one but he seems ok lol.
What do you do if you aren't interested after meeting someone for the first time? Like monday's date, I knew in the first minute it was a no-go, but I made it 40 minutes and then said we should leave - he misunderstood and thought I meant go somewhere else after, so that was awkward. I wish there was a nice way to bow out in the first 5 min!
. All online/first dates, I'm not super excited about this one but he seems ok lol.What do you do if you aren't interested after meeting someone for the first time? Like monday's date, I knew in the first minute it was a no-go, but I made it 40 minutes and then said we should leave - he misunderstood and thought I meant go somewhere else after, so that was awkward. I wish there was a nice way to bow out in the first 5 min!
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LOL I love that!!!!0
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"OH MY GOD SOMEONE PUT DIARRHEA IN MY PANTS"
*Flee*
If you get that reference good things will happen to you.0 -
Well, I dont ever meet someone that I haven't struck up a friendship with by email and phone. So, I figure (and I tell him) that the worst that can happen on a date is that we dont have sexual chemistry but we have enough in common to have a nice evening. together.
I think legging it after 10 mins is just cruel. I had it done to me once, and never want it to happen again.
Alternatively, go for a coffee date during lunch, then, there is an easy way out.
Good luck tonight, hope it's 3rd time lucky! :flowerforyou:0 -
"OH MY GOD SOMEONE PUT DIARRHEA IN MY PANTS"
*Flee*
If you get that reference good things will happen to you.
OH noooooooo I doomed
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Anna - i've chatted to all these guys a bit on text/email, but definitely no "friendship" yet you know? I prefer to meet someone quickly to see if there is any point, so I don't waste too much of my time. Nope, no nice evenings here! Yeah you are right that it would be cruel, just wishful thinking! Unfortunately no time at lunch, but these have all been coffee/drink dates so I don't feel so bad peacing out after 1 coffee/drink. Yes lets hope, thanks
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"OH MY GOD SOMEONE PUT DIARRHEA IN MY PANTS"
*Flee*
If you get that reference good things will happen to you.
OH noooooooo I doomed.
Anna - i've chatted to all these guys a bit on text/email, but definitely no "friendship" yet you know? I prefer to meet someone quickly to see if there is any point, so I don't waste too much of my time. Nope, no nice evenings here! Yeah you are right that it would be cruel, just wishful thinking! Unfortunately no time at lunch, but these have all been coffee/drink dates so I don't feel so bad peacing out after 1 coffee/drink. Yes lets hope, thanks
It's okay, I quoted it wrong anyway. Forgive me, it's been about a decade.0 -
Reminds me of a miniature of Bill Engvall's "here's you're sign" that I carried in High School. I now feel the need to print and carry one of these with me. I wonder how that would go over in real life??0 -
Good luck!
I give you props for walking out... I personally usually have enough in common with them to atleast enjoy the evening...and I am a fairly social, easy going girl so haven't had a problem. I just leave and be thankful I don't have to see them again but looking back, you know what? I think I enjoyed most my dates, it was more attraction and chemistry that was missing. 0 -
Good luck!
I give you props for walking out... I personally usually have enough in common with them to at least enjoy the evening...and I am a fairly social, easy going girl so haven't had a problem. I just leave and be thankful I don't have to see them again but looking back, you know what? I think I enjoyed most my dates, it was more attraction and chemistry that was missing.
I'm the same way...very social etc, but that wasn't the problem - its that he was a complete *kitten* and I had had enough. He stood me up once and this was his second chance but he was still 30 minutes late, THEN he was an *kitten* when I agreed to have a drink with him. I'm not THAT easygoing.0 -
Good luck!
I give you props for walking out... I personally usually have enough in common with them to at least enjoy the evening...and I am a fairly social, easy going girl so haven't had a problem. I just leave and be thankful I don't have to see them again but looking back, you know what? I think I enjoyed most my dates, it was more attraction and chemistry that was missing.
I'm the same way...very social etc, but that wasn't the problem - its that he was a complete *kitten* and I had had enough. He stood me up once and this was his second chance but he was still 30 minutes late, THEN he was an *kitten* when I agreed to have a drink with him. I'm not THAT easygoing.
Did he physically stand you up? or just cancel? If he stood you up, then was 30 mins late, I can't believe you waited for him.. you are too kind. I would have been out of there. He has no class and no business trying to get with you or anyone for that matter!
SO how was the date?0 -
Good luck!
I give you props for walking out... I personally usually have enough in common with them to at least enjoy the evening...and I am a fairly social, easy going girl so haven't had a problem. I just leave and be thankful I don't have to see them again but looking back, you know what? I think I enjoyed most my dates, it was more attraction and chemistry that was missing.
I'm the same way...very social etc, but that wasn't the problem - its that he was a complete *kitten* and I had had enough. He stood me up once and this was his second chance but he was still 30 minutes late, THEN he was an *kitten* when I agreed to have a drink with him. I'm not THAT easygoing.
Did he physically stand you up? or just cancel? If he stood you up, then was 30 mins late, I can't believe you waited for him.. you are too kind. I would have been out of there. He has no class and no business trying to get with you or anyone for that matter!
SO how was the date?
Its a long story, but yeah, essentially physically stood me up - I didn't hear from him so I decided not to go, but he didn't call till 2 days later (he was out of the country and getting back the day we were going out - HIS idea). Yeah then I agree to try once more, said he could call me and if I was free we could go out - I wasn't going to commit to plans to him. So he called and I agreed to meet him a few hours later, he was 30 minutes late even though he lived literally a 4 minute walk from the place. I DID actually leave (to be fair, he did respond to my text when I said I was there etc, but kept saying he would be there in 2 min) but he was coming in and I guess saw me leaving, he was calling me and I didn't pick up so he followed me. Begged my forgiveness and sht, I agreed to 1 drink, then he was a complete *kitten*. So yeah, first time in my life, I just left in the middle of it. I am trying to be more open to guys and let things go, but yeah even this was too much.
Tonight's date was not bad! I'd be ok either way - if he wants to go out again I'll go, but if not thats cool too. He was very nice and complimentary though so it was a good evening 0 -
Good luck!
I give you props for walking out... I personally usually have enough in common with them to at least enjoy the evening...and I am a fairly social, easy going girl so haven't had a problem. I just leave and be thankful I don't have to see them again but looking back, you know what? I think I enjoyed most my dates, it was more attraction and chemistry that was missing.
I'm the same way...very social etc, but that wasn't the problem - its that he was a complete *kitten* and I had had enough. He stood me up once and this was his second chance but he was still 30 minutes late, THEN he was an *kitten* when I agreed to have a drink with him. I'm not THAT easygoing.
Did he physically stand you up? or just cancel? If he stood you up, then was 30 mins late, I can't believe you waited for him.. you are too kind. I would have been out of there. He has no class and no business trying to get with you or anyone for that matter!
SO how was the date?
Its a long story, but yeah, essentially physically stood me up - I didn't hear from him so I decided not to go, but he didn't call till 2 days later (he was out of the country and getting back the day we were going out - HIS idea). Yeah then I agree to try once more, said he could call me and if I was free we could go out - I wasn't going to commit to plans to him. So he called and I agreed to meet him a few hours later, he was 30 minutes late even though he lived literally a 4 minute walk from the place. I DID actually leave (to be fair, he did respond to my text when I said I was there etc, but kept saying he would be there in 2 min) but he was coming in and I guess saw me leaving, he was calling me and I didn't pick up so he followed me. Begged my forgiveness and sht, I agreed to 1 drink, then he was a complete *kitten*. So yeah, first time in my life, I just left in the middle of it. I am trying to be more open to guys and let things go, but yeah even this was too much.
Tonight's date was not bad! I'd be ok either way - if he wants to go out again I'll go, but if not thats cool too. He was very nice and complimentary though so it was a good evening
I used to let things go and go with it all... but I found that I let losers have their way, and that isn't cool! You stand me up, you are done! If you have a great excuse to cancel, I may accept that. All becuase I cancelled on a guy once (I wasn't feeling it) but he wanted to see me still, so I went and he was a nice guy... I think I friend zoned him though lol
Glad tonight was fun.. when I feel ok, but uncertain I always go out again! Keep us posted.
I am kind of in limbo with one guy..... I keep overthinking stuff, but then he keeps communicating in a way that I don't feel is right, so who knows?? I think I will keep my options open and see him if not busy, but keep seeing others.
ETA: did you just up and leave? this sounds like a great story!0 -
I used to let things go and go with it all... but I found that I let losers have their way, and that isn't cool! You stand me up, you are done! If you have a great excuse to cancel, I may accept that. All becuase I cancelled on a guy once (I wasn't feeling it) but he wanted to see me still, so I went and he was a nice guy... I think I friend zoned him though lol
Glad tonight was fun.. when I feel ok, but uncertain I always go out again! Keep us posted.
I am kind of in limbo with one guy..... I keep overthinking stuff, but then he keeps communicating in a way that I don't feel is right, so who knows?? I think I will keep my options open and see him if not busy, but keep seeing others.
ETA: did you just up and leave? this sounds like a great story!
Yeah I have gone through the whole spectrum - when I was younger I let evvvverything go & was walked all over, then I did a 180 and was a total hardazz, so I'm trying to find a middle ground now lol. He had an ok excuse (out of the country, flight was late, phone turned on a few days after he got back) so I tried to let it go. Bad idea! He said something moronic and I was pissed, so after saying a few things I was like - you know what, I've had enough of this, thank you for the drink, I'm leaving - and walked out before he could say a word lol.
Hmm yeah, be mindful of your gut! Or tell him how you want to communicate, if you're at the point where you can do that? Def keep your options open, thats always a must!
Yes if he asks I will go, there were no dealbreakers or anything so I'd be open to it - not sure I was attracted to him though but we will see!0 -
I used to let things go and go with it all... but I found that I let losers have their way, and that isn't cool! You stand me up, you are done! If you have a great excuse to cancel, I may accept that. All becuase I cancelled on a guy once (I wasn't feeling it) but he wanted to see me still, so I went and he was a nice guy... I think I friend zoned him though lol
Glad tonight was fun.. when I feel ok, but uncertain I always go out again! Keep us posted.
I am kind of in limbo with one guy..... I keep overthinking stuff, but then he keeps communicating in a way that I don't feel is right, so who knows?? I think I will keep my options open and see him if not busy, but keep seeing others.
ETA: did you just up and leave? this sounds like a great story!
Yeah I have gone through the whole spectrum - when I was younger I let evvvverything go & was walked all over, then I did a 180 and was a total hardazz, so I'm trying to find a middle ground now lol. He had an ok excuse (out of the country, flight was late, phone turned on a few days after he got back) so I tried to let it go. Bad idea! He said something moronic and I was pissed, so after saying a few things I was like - you know what, I've had enough of this, thank you for the drink, I'm leaving - and walked out before he could say a word lol.
Hmm yeah, be mindful of your gut! Or tell him how you want to communicate, if you're at the point where you can do that? Def keep your options open, thats always a must!
Yes if he asks I will go, there were no dealbreakers or anything so I'd be open to it - not sure I was attracted to him though but we will see!
GOod for you!!!
Well we have had 4 dates in 1 month.. he is a very involved parent and into sports, etc. That is ok, we have maintained once a week, but we talk maybe 30 mins a day (texts) sometimes a couple hours, but he rarely ends the convo - he just vanishes. So we could be mid topic and WAM he is gone. He has always been this way, so I wasn't offended overly, but now it kind of bugs me. I don't know?!?! Anyone else experience this.
Sometimes people grow on you - I say give him another chance 0 -
^ that is my pet peeve. As Ruminations worded it...what did you just drop your phone and run??
But seriously. If you have to stop texting, say something, even just "I gotta go I'll text you later!"0 -
^ that is my pet peeve. As Ruminations worded it...what did you just drop your phone and run??
But seriously. If you have to stop texting, say something, even just "I gotta go I'll text you later!"
Thank you! I agree!
I mean, I don't think I am in any place to say something, but I almost think his texting ettiquette is terrible..
It has always been this way, the only time I get any heads up is when its like 11pm, I either day good night or he does... otherwise we could litterly be mid convo.
I kinda have decided to see other people too, and just play it casual with him.... then I can feel better about it all 0 -
^ that is my pet peeve. As Ruminations worded it...what did you just drop your phone and run??
But seriously. If you have to stop texting, say something, even just "I gotta go I'll text you later!"
Thank you! I agree!
I mean, I don't think I am in any place to say something, but I almost think his texting ettiquette is terrible..
It has always been this way, the only time I get any heads up is when its like 11pm, I either day good night or he does... otherwise we could litterly be mid convo.
I kinda have decided to see other people too, and just play it casual with him.... then I can feel better about it all
I'm guilty of this. I work weird graveyard hours. I'll be awake through out the night and into the early afternoon but I then fade and pass out. I'll receive texts during the afternoon and evening and not be able to answer them until morning especially since I can't have my cel phone at work. Most people I have explained this to understand though. Working graveyard, my brain just doesn't function like day people a lot of the times.0 -
^ that is my pet peeve. As Ruminations worded it...what did you just drop your phone and run??
But seriously. If you have to stop texting, say something, even just "I gotta go I'll text you later!"
Thank you! I agree!
I mean, I don't think I am in any place to say something, but I almost think his texting ettiquette is terrible..
It has always been this way, the only time I get any heads up is when its like 11pm, I either day good night or he does... otherwise we could litterly be mid convo.
I kinda have decided to see other people too, and just play it casual with him.... then I can feel better about it all
I'm guilty of this. I work weird graveyard hours. I'll be awake through out the night and into the early afternoon but I then fade and pass out. I'll receive texts during the afternoon and evening and not be able to answer them until morning especially since I can't have my cel phone at work. Most people I have explained this to understand though. Working graveyard, my brain just doesn't function like day people a lot of the times.
If you are working and not answering for hours I think that is ok. It's the mid convo stuff. I mean I can ask a related ?? To the convo and then he's gone and when he resurfaces its a fresh start. If I had asked a question it wouldn't get answered.0 -
If you are working and not answering for hours I think that is ok. It's the mid convo stuff. I mean I can ask a related ?? To the convo and then he's gone and when he resurfaces its a fresh start. If I had asked a question it wouldn't get answered.
that is so rude! I would totally be turned off by that. maybe when u see each other in person u should bring it up. guys usually dont think its a big deal whereas girls usually get offended, its a pet peeve of mine.0 -
In reference to the above post, I think this guy is the type who wants to control the situation. I am pretty sure he saw the message when you sent it, but rather not answer it he just went silent. Then he probably changes the subject because he doesn't feels you deserve an answer.0
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^ that is my pet peeve. As Ruminations worded it...what did you just drop your phone and run??
But seriously. If you have to stop texting, say something, even just "I gotta go I'll text you later!"
Thank you! I agree!
I mean, I don't think I am in any place to say something, but I almost think his texting ettiquette is terrible..
It has always been this way, the only time I get any heads up is when its like 11pm, I either day good night or he does... otherwise we could litterly be mid convo.
I kinda have decided to see other people too, and just play it casual with him.... then I can feel better about it all
I'm guilty of this. I work weird graveyard hours. I'll be awake through out the night and into the early afternoon but I then fade and pass out. I'll receive texts during the afternoon and evening and not be able to answer them until morning especially since I can't have my cel phone at work. Most people I have explained this to understand though. Working graveyard, my brain just doesn't function like day people a lot of the times.
If you are working and not answering for hours I think that is ok. It's the mid convo stuff. I mean I can ask a related ?? To the convo and then he's gone and when he resurfaces its a fresh start. If I had asked a question it wouldn't get answered.
I do this and I don't feel guilty. A lot of times I am multitasking while texting, it's why I like it so much. But i'm not the person that stays buried in her phone no matter what. When life happens i'm gonna happen with it and explain later. Sure if it's something planned I'll give a heads up.0 -
In reference to the above post, I think this guy is the type who wants to control the situation. I am pretty sure he saw the message when you sent it, but rather not answer it he just went silent. Then he probably changes the subject because he doesn't feels you deserve an answer.
Good point, it's like "that question didn't warrant an answer" or for some reason they don't want to answer.0 -
Basically! I had a loser who did that to me often! He would ask me what's up...then I would respond and asks what's up, and then he would go silent. Its almost a ploy to leave you hanging and seek control because they know more than you do. I say get rid of him because he is obviously showing that being polite isn't a priority.0
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Basically! I had a loser who did that to me often! He would ask me what's up...then I would respond and asks what's up, and then he would go silent. Its almost a ploy to leave you hanging and seek control because they know more than you do. I say get rid of him because he is obviously showing that being polite isn't a priority.
Interesting answers from both you and Christine..
This is a guy I have been out with about 4 times and have seen for a month... he has ALWAYS been this way.
But last night he was like 'whatcha up to tonight?' I told him and asked the same and got 'maybe dinner and a movie?' So I enquired as to what movie and never heard back.
So given what your response was, I guess I would say that he wasn't that into me, but this isn't a new trend, this has been that way since day one... So something I should have not accepted a month ago?? What is nice is when we are face to face he never looks at his phone... which I have been with people who are buried in their phone too... I have worked hard to never look at mine...
Just wondering if this is something to conisder.. I am kinda feeling MEH about him now anyways.0 -
^ maybe next time you see him, Kim, make a comment like I said about dropping your phone and running. It's a funny way to being it up. One time of it happening is one thing but when it happens repeatedly that would bug the crap out of me. I would be curious to hear his opinion on it or what he responds with. Say something like "you never answered what movie you wanted to see? What, did you drop your phone and run?" and then laugh.
You don't have to keep a conversation going for hours but you should be keeping it flowing. There's no need to respond to a simple "lol" but if a person asks a question and you never respond and then when you respond hours later and ignore it, that is rude to me. Not having time at the moment to answer you versus ignoring the question is rude. Like what Kits said, being busy is fine. Being rude is a different thing.0
