Rallying your spouse
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kgeer31
Posts: 52 Member
How do you approach you spouse to join the "healthy" bandwagon? Mine is just starting to get back into weight training, but REALLY needs to be more committed (no excuses not to go) and fix a lot in his nutrition (dinner is about the only thing that is good and that's b/c we have that together). I don't want to be his mommy, but I feel like he needs a push and I want him in this with me. We both really enjoyed being able to workout together the few times we've done it and I made a point of saying so. How to start?
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You've started. He needs to find what works for him. You can make suggestions (you should try these pita chips for your lunch, do you want me to pick up that yogurt you like at the store) or provide advice if he asks for it or admire his results. But telling somebody what they could do better when they've just started to be good can be really demotivating.0
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I wish I knew. But maybe other posters will have some ideas...
I'd been trying to get my spouse on board since we got married. Before we began dating, I had gone from 250 to 195 on my own through healthy eating and exercise. By our wedding I was back up to 213. After 11 years of marriage I'm back to where I was before we got back together and exceeded that by almost 4 pounds! I was 253.8 when I had my "I gotta fix this and I gotta fix it right now!!!" moment over a month ago.
I'd love for him to get on the same page with me about healthy eating and exercise but he has been resistant and the more I pushed, the more he would sabotage. So, I've stopped pushing and he has stopped sabotaging. I am making better choices for me, and our kids, and I hope that as he sees me getting healthier and thinner - he will want to join in.0 -
I got my husband on the heathy foods by telling him I needed his help to keep me motivated and if he did it with me it would really help to keep me on track . My hero... lol but it works. He now thinks it was his idea and is very happy about it.
Hope this helps
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Good question!
Now that I have been tracking my calories for several months, I have suggested to my husband that he should start doing it too just so he can see the kind of stuff he puts in his body! I mean when we go out to eat he orders these massive burgers that are piled with onion rings, bbq sauce, bacon, etc. And then fries and a sweet tea or coke to go with it.
He has talked several times about wanting to work out again like he used to many years ago, but as with everything else he does, he does a lot of talking with no action. The other night I was doing my small weight training while watching TV as he sat on the couch. He sure as heck chimed in to tell me to hold the weigth in the lifted position for a few seconds, but when I invited him to join me in doing crunches he said he was alright where he was. Ugh, men!
He has been looking at reviews of P90X and Insanity lately, so I know there is a seed planted, but it may take a while to take hold and grow!0 -
I wish I knew too! I can't talk any sense into my hubby. He now gets annoyed and slightly angry when I bring it up so I'm just going to stop. I know I can't make him do it, he has to want it and it's quite obvious that he doesn't. Maybe seeing the kids and I doing things to keep ourselves fit and active will spur him to join in.
So I would say, just keep doing what you're doing and hopefully he'll see your results and take the plunge with you!0 -
I wish I could get my husband doing it with me too, when we first got married 4 years ago he was super fit! He had killer abs and arms and was very active (he never has eaten healthy though) since we've been married we've had two kids together, each pregnancy I had, he gained weight right along with me, he's now about 20 lbs overweight, I know it wouldn't take much for him to lose it, but he has no motivation whatsoever! I've tried asking him to go to the gym with me, and lately I've been really excited to join the color run! But I can't convince him to do it with me.... I wanna be that healthy fit couple, but he wants to be the couch potato couple! I've also tried the approach of "I need you to help me" but that didn't work either. He's made the comment that he wants to start running, but it's all a bunch of talk so far. I try to point out the unhealthy things he eats, and I talk to him about diet and weight loss every day in hopes that it will plant a seed in his mind.
I think each person has to go on the weight loss journey when the time is right for them, and in their own ways as well.... it won't do us much good to beg our spouses to join in if they aren't truly committed. If you want it bad enough, you can do it without the motivation of your husband or wife... even though it's much harder alone. I kind of have a feeling that once I reach my goal, my husband will see how great I look and feel, and he'll want to make the change as well... but we'll see.0 -
My husband is one of those people who can eat anything and never gain weight so it wasn't until his dad got really sick that he started to listen to me. His dad was the same way. Food wise it was easier because I do most of the cooking and grocery shopping so I would just plan on cooking healthy and he will eat pretty much whatever I put in front of him. We keep mostly healthy snacks in the house and if we do get something unhealthy I buy only a small amount of it so it goes away quickly.
It was harder to get him into the exercise part. I got him started by telling him I needed his help. He would make up workouts for me and work me like he was a personal trainer. He got a kick out of yelling at me and telling me to work harder but he would end up doing half of it with me. Then I started running and signing up for races and I signed him up for a charity walk/run and he started running because he didn't want to come in last. Last Mother's Day he bought me INSANITY and he tried to do it with me. We were doing pretty well until I got pregnant again. I had to stop exercising because it was making me sick and when I stopped, he stopped. Hopefully, once I am cleared 100% to exercise I will get back to where we were before I got pregnant.0 -
mine was up every morning with me at 4am, not no more, he has given up,0
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My husband asked me the night before last if I wanted to work out with him- (I had already worked out that day) I told him sureeee! Even though I didn't. We were looking at pictures of ourselves the summer before our wedding. We were a gorgeous couple. Both fit, I was skinny- he was buff. He said it himself- it was when he use to meet me at the gym everyday after work. We'd do our own thing at the gym and right before we left, we would hop on the treadmill and run a mile. Then we'd go home and eat a big healthy dinner! The only thing that lasted was the big healthy dinner because I cooked it! But hey- we looked great for our wedding! Anyway- I think it took him seeing how much he has change to realize that he wanted that back. Now, his job typically requires him to work 50-70 hours a week and I don't blame him for wanting to come home and be a couch potato. The 2 days he has been home early he has worked out with me. I I explained to him that there is nothing hotter than a fit dad. Ya know, that guy in the park pushing the jogging stroller? Or the one out for a hike with a baby strapped to his back? Yup- sexy. He wants to be that dad! I told him he could have his trophy wife back ( cause I'm busting my *kitten* to get there) if he could take baby steps to becoming that dad.
I guess realistically, you have just got to find what motivates him. Whether its setting good examples for your children or lookin hot for you.0 -
i love that idea!! Your response to getting your hubs to workout with you just made me want to workout with you!! I think ill drop some hints to mine tonight when i get home!0
