You look so slim...Ouch...That hurts
JanieJack
Posts: 3,831 Member
Was showing my coworker a pic from last week's color run. She said, who is that? I told her that was me. She said, without thinking, "wow, you look so slim I didn't recognize you." She kept looking at me and the pic as if to reconcile the image with the reality. I thought it was taken at a great angle, but didn't realize I looked THAT different.
I'm beginning to see why so many guys on Match.com made negative comments about my size when we met in person.
I'm also beginning to see why so many people say "you're so photogenic"
I'm beginning to see why so many guys on Match.com made negative comments about my size when we met in person.
I'm also beginning to see why so many people say "you're so photogenic"
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For those who don't know... "you're so photogenic" is what some people say to people whose pictures look better than they do in real life.0
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I look terrible in pictures - a lot of the times, they don't even look like me, or at least the me I see in the mirror. I say you're so photogenic to people who really do take good pictures that look like their 3-dimensional selves. My face doesn't flatted into 2-D in a good way. :-P I so WISH I was photogenic!!!0
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I am not photogenic at all. It sucks!0
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Same here.... not photogenic at all. I actually get people saying "wow" that's not a good photo of you.0
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Yeah not photogentic at all for me. Camera adds about 20lbs to me. People I know who are bigger than me look smaller than me in pictures. I don't think "You're so photogentic" is an insult at all. I probably would have taken the double takes the same way as you though.0
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lol Im weird..some pictures I look amazing others not so much...I swear my camera has an evil genie in it0
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I don't think "You're so photogentic" is an insult at all.
Google it. I used to take it as a compliment, until I saw it on a show (Mean girls? I can't remember) where it was an underhanded way of saying less-than-good-looking people take good pictures. Then I went to look it up (since I get that a lot). Some people mean it genuinely. Many do not.
I feel like BB is in the catagory of taking bad pictures. He looks way better than his pics.0 -
I'm photogenic too. I dont take it as an insult cos I think I'm gorgeous!!!
JJ - stop trashing yourself hun!!! :huh:
ETA:
God only knows there are plenty of people in the world ready to do that for you!! :flowerforyou:
Looking slim and taking a good picture is not even relevant in the scheme of things. Who cares?? Who REALLY cares?? Some shallow dude with a bone fetish??? :laugh:0 -
I have to agree with Anna, who gives a F what other people think!! Maybe you were just looking to spark convo but honestly, if you're happy with the results you're getting and how you look F those people.0
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Most photos that I pose for, I look great... but the ones caught off guard are the ones that look so terrible. I do think that you are thinking to deep into this- that maybe watching that movie put that bug in your ear... but I have told many beautiful people how photogenic they were.0
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Somewhat relevant, watch the video... TLDR: stop being so critical!
http://www.adweek.com/adfreak/dove-hires-criminal-sketch-artist-draw-women-they-see-themselves-and-others-see-them-1486130 -
I'm beginning to see why so many guys on Match.com made negative comments about my size when we met in person.
Janie - what do you mean by this? What kind of comments? You are beautiful to me in your pics!0 -
I am not photogenic at all and I don't take random pics. 90% of my pics are staged.0
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I have to agree with Anna, who gives a -- what other people think!! Maybe you were just looking to spark convo but honestly, if you're happy with the results you're getting and how you look --- those people.
I'm not the only one in this forum who has met someone via online dating and been irritated that this person who previously thought I was hot is not attracted in person. My point was to throw out another possible reason why. While I appreciate the encouragement, I don't think it's fair to people to pooh-pooh stuff like this.
Had my coworker and I had this convo two years ago, I probably would have felt more empowered in these situations realizing that, yes, even when I tried to be honest about my looks by posting plenty of full-body pics that guys I meet online are likely to think I look thinner in the pics than in real life. This is a better position to come from than wondering what's wrong with me when the guy's not attracted in person though he was calling me beautiful/hot/gorgeous from my online profile.0 -
This discussion reminds me of MM’s “I confess…” post that this girl thinks all guys like her. Couple years ago I thought I was “THE STUFF” and all guys found me attractive. Now I’m realizing this is not so. Nothing wrong with that (people like who they like)… the trick is to not let it affect your psyche. And for me, acknowledging that there’s a discrepancy from how I look online and how I appear in person is key to not letting it affect my psyche.
For example, my profile pic I think look amazing. You have no idea my size until you see the other photos where I’m next to some girls. I am like a hulk next to them. It is admittedly tough for me to acknowledge that people care more about size than figure and fitness, but that’s life and we can’t ignore it. We must deal with it.0 -
Janie - what do you mean by this? What kind of comments? You are beautiful to me in your pics!
Thanks!
The #1 comment I got when I met guys online was something along the lines of, "Wow, it's nice to finally meet a normal woman." Apparently a lot of women online that these guys were meeting are crazy/psycho, and I think that’s why I had so many 2nd date requests even when it was obvious we weren’t compatible.
The #2 comment I got was something along the lines of, “Wow, I thought you’d be smaller.” This scarred me the first time I got on Match, so the second time around I made sure to post more pics of me with others. I still got that comment a lot, but I tried to laugh it off with something like “yeah, I’m built like a linebacker…but the silver lining is my great hourglass figure.” One guy, who was over 300lbs made such a comment and I was like “you need someone built like me to handle all THAT weight.”
And Anna, you’re right. I really need to stop dogging myself out. It’s just hard to be the older fatter woman around all these young fit Marines. I’m used to being cute. Strangely enough, I appear to have won the respect of the men with my races, CrossFit, and stellar job performance, but the women never fail to take the opportunity to dog me out. I can’t wait til I’m back home around mostly retirees who are twice my size and couldn’t care less about criticizing someone.0 -
All my friends tell my I look like George Clooney in person, but my pics make me look like a complete tosser.
Ha, just joking. At least about Clooney.
--P0 -
This discussion reminds me of MM’s “I confess…” post that this girl thinks all guys like her. Couple years ago I thought I was “THE STUFF” and all guys found me attractive. Now I’m realizing this is not so. Nothing wrong with that (people like who they like)… the trick is to not let it affect your psyche. And for me, acknowledging that there’s a discrepancy from how I look online and how I appear in person is key to not letting it affect my psyche.
For example, my profile pic I think look amazing. You have no idea my size until you see the other photos where I’m next to some girls. I am like a hulk next to them. It is admittedly tough for me to acknowledge that people care more about size than figure and fitness, but that’s life and we can’t ignore it. We must deal with it.
I've had a guy say to me I look nothing like my pics. And I've had guys say to me that I look better in person.
The point is that people's perceptions are way different. We literally all SEE differently!! And perceive things in our brains, differently!!
That's why it's irrelevant to let something like that change your perception of yourself. It's really a non issue what 'anybody' thinks. The only person that needs to love you, is you!!0 -
I dunno. Honestly my view of what I look like varies so much. Sometimes I think I'm more thin than I am, sometimes I think I'm more big than I am, sometimes I think my nose is weird, sometimes I think my cheekbones are great and then even my pictures are fairly inconsistent... So I just go with what I feel at the moment, and when I feel down I remind myself about the things I am sure about myself that I like. Even things like my laugh lines, or I've started noticing crows feet - that's a symptom of me being happy, laughing and smiling a lot. I'm not gonna dog on myself for stuff like that. If I'm feeling particularly fat one day I just remind myself that I've doing something about it and go for a run.0
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I've been on dates before with women who looked completely different to their pictures on the site before (my space angles should've known better) and I would rather they were more honest beforehand as for me it pretty much ruins my opinion of you even before the date if you're already lying, that being said I don't expect a picture of you after an all night binge in the morning :laugh:0
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I've had a guy say to me I look nothing like my pics. And I've had guys say to me that I look better in person.
The point is that people's perceptions are way different. We literally all SEE differently!! And perceive things in our brains, differently!!
That's why it's irrelevant to let something like that change your perception of yourself. It's really a non issue what 'anybody' thinks. The only person that needs to love you, is you!!
In relation to this, would everyone PLEASE go and watch the three-minute video at the link below. I'm not normally one for these things, but this was both moving and very, very thought-provoking. We are our own worst critic, and the way others see us is rarely how we see ourselves.
http://mashable.com/2013/04/15/dove-ad-beauty-sketches/0 -
Janie, You have a way to turn any compliment into a negative about yourself. I wish that were not the case because it makes me sad to hear. Perhaps it's time to stop reading so much into what a handful of people say?0
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I've had a guy say to me I look nothing like my pics. And I've had guys say to me that I look better in person.
The point is that people's perceptions are way different. We literally all SEE differently!! And perceive things in our brains, differently!!
That's why it's irrelevant to let something like that change your perception of yourself. It's really a non issue what 'anybody' thinks. The only person that needs to love you, is you!!
In relation to this, would everyone PLEASE go and watch the three-minute video at the link below. I'm not normally one for these things, but this was both moving and very, very thought-provoking. We are our own worst critic, and the way others see us is rarely how we see ourselves.
http://mashable.com/2013/04/15/dove-ad-beauty-sketches/
Ummm... I linked to that already in this thread...0 -
I've had a guy say to me I look nothing like my pics. And I've had guys say to me that I look better in person.
The point is that people's perceptions are way different. We literally all SEE differently!! And perceive things in our brains, differently!!
That's why it's irrelevant to let something like that change your perception of yourself. It's really a non issue what 'anybody' thinks. The only person that needs to love you, is you!!
In relation to this, would everyone PLEASE go and watch the three-minute video at the link below. I'm not normally one for these things, but this was both moving and very, very thought-provoking. We are our own worst critic, and the way others see us is rarely how we see ourselves.
http://mashable.com/2013/04/15/dove-ad-beauty-sketches/
Ummm... I linked to that already in this thread...
Thank you both for sharing, that was a great video!0 -
I've had a guy say to me I look nothing like my pics. And I've had guys say to me that I look better in person.
The point is that people's perceptions are way different. We literally all SEE differently!! And perceive things in our brains, differently!!
That's why it's irrelevant to let something like that change your perception of yourself. It's really a non issue what 'anybody' thinks. The only person that needs to love you, is you!!
In relation to this, would everyone PLEASE go and watch the three-minute video at the link below. I'm not normally one for these things, but this was both moving and very, very thought-provoking. We are our own worst critic, and the way others see us is rarely how we see ourselves.
http://mashable.com/2013/04/15/dove-ad-beauty-sketches/
Ummm... I linked to that already in this thread...
So you did! Sorry - slightly different address, so I didn't realise as I skimmed through :flowerforyou:0 -
I've been on dates before with women who looked completely different to their pictures on the site before (my space angles should've known better) and I would rather they were more honest beforehand as for me it pretty much ruins my opinion of you even before the date if you're already lying, that being said I don't expect a picture of you after an all night binge in the morning :laugh:
This reminds me of my boss's brother who chewed a woman out for being 100lbs heavier in person than in her pic. It was wrong for him to do this. But it's the same treatment women get who AREN'T trying to lie in their photos. It’s irritating when a guy looks at me and assumes I was playing that game when I wasn’t.0 -
Janie, You have a way to turn any compliment into a negative about yourself
I don't take what she said as a compliment. I take the fact that she kept going back and forth looking at me and the picture and saying she can't believe it's a recent pic of me from because I looked so slim in the pic as an accidental offense. One of those things where you don't realize you've hurt the other person til too late. I think she realized how it sounded and kept trying to fix it but was unable to.
I'm not offended at her...so please don't take this post to mean I'm mad at her or downing myself**.
I honestly considered it an "ah-ha" moment as to explaining why I get this kind of thing a lot. I thought others might realize the same thing about themselves. I guess it’s like reading that report from one of the online sites that black women are the least favorite group by men on their site. I didn’t get offended and feel bad like some folks did. I said, “Oh, that’s the problem” and took it off the list of things to worry about since there’s nothing I can actually do to change it.
**My blog post the other day about being the fat girl in all my classes, yeah, that was me downing myself: http://www.myfitnesspal.com/blog/JanieJack/view/i-m-so-tired-of-being-the-fat-girl-at-crossfit-5194280 -
I've had a guy say to me I look nothing like my pics. And I've had guys say to me that I look better in person.
I’ve never had a guy say I look better in person, though there have been men like BB who thought I was beautiful both in pics and in person.
Funny story: I had a few guys that looked better in person and told them. One of those was a guy who looked like a gangsta in his pic, but a down-home -country-boy in real life. One guy I DIDN’T tell he looked better was someone who had used old pictures and was actually much older than his pictures suggested. I really wanted to, but there’s no polite way to say, “I’m so glad you’re in my age range after all- your pictures made you look so young.”0 -
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I've had a guy say to me I look nothing like my pics. And I've had guys say to me that I look better in person.
The point is that people's perceptions are way different. We literally all SEE differently!! And perceive things in our brains, differently!!
That's why it's irrelevant to let something like that change your perception of yourself. It's really a non issue what 'anybody' thinks. The only person that needs to love you, is you!!
In relation to this, would everyone PLEASE go and watch the three-minute video at the link below. I'm not normally one for these things, but this was both moving and very, very thought-provoking. We are our own worst critic, and the way others see us is rarely how we see ourselves.
http://mashable.com/2013/04/15/dove-ad-beauty-sketches/
OMG that was awesome!! And SOOOO true!!! Thanks for sharing
I have been told a million times that I'm the splitting image of this actress from Four Weddings and a Funeral. I dont think I look like her at all. I mean, I can't even see a resemblance. *shrug* But I've been approached in the street!!! lol
Like I said, people SEE things differently. Not just people, but trees and the sun and colours. Some comments appeal to you. Some don't. In fact, I tend to ignore the negative one's as I think those types of people 'see' the world in a negative way
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