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WLS and Spouses....
LadyG0915
Posts: 137 Member
I want to discuss this in some detail. I am a little over a year out and I have all the support in the world from friends and family, and in the begining my spouse. Lately it seems, he isn't on the bus. He has told me that my arms are getting too thin, I am being selfish by going to the gym so much (4-5 times a week between jobs), and he is no longer any help whats so ever with food. HE eats out all the time and offers pizza, ice cream, etc. This makes keeping the focas on my goals that much harder.
We have been arguing a lot more (a tiny background) We have been marrried 8 years - together 10, he is suffering from PTSD, being medicated, but not seing council. He is also a police officer. There are so many issues with the treatments of PTSD, if you are treated for this, you can no longer do that job. IF he doesn't have his job, we lose everything. So, there is a lot going on around us other than my weight.
I guess I'm just wondering is this normal insecurity? I am still the same insecure person I was. I am not flaunting around town or anything like that. I still don't feel sexy or different, so he shouldn't feel insecure. If anything he should be the one to be helping to me ME feel sexier, RIGHT? Help me to not feel so crazy.
We have been arguing a lot more (a tiny background) We have been marrried 8 years - together 10, he is suffering from PTSD, being medicated, but not seing council. He is also a police officer. There are so many issues with the treatments of PTSD, if you are treated for this, you can no longer do that job. IF he doesn't have his job, we lose everything. So, there is a lot going on around us other than my weight.
I guess I'm just wondering is this normal insecurity? I am still the same insecure person I was. I am not flaunting around town or anything like that. I still don't feel sexy or different, so he shouldn't feel insecure. If anything he should be the one to be helping to me ME feel sexier, RIGHT? Help me to not feel so crazy.
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It does sound like a very stressful time. I hope you still have an open line of communication, because that is essential to get past most problems. You are an adult and should be able to continue to do what you feel is right for you (ex. diet & excercise). If you are honest with him about your feelings and lack of support, will he understand?
Isn't it too bad that concerns about Insurance has to rule so many of our decisions?0 -
Sorry you are dealing with so much. My husband of 38 years suffers from clinical depression. It has some of the same symtoms of PTSD and is treated with medication and therapy. He's always been resistant to the both. But anyway I can relate to that part of your issue. As for your insecurity, I think if you had insecurity issues before, you will probably still have them. You should and probably feel more confident as you loose weight, with or without his support.
As for his PTSD, have you two thought of getting help privately, as in not through the department? Between the medication and therapy he might still be able to do his job and be supportive to you.0
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