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Child Support
akaMrsmojo
Posts: 762 Member
So I just watched this show about child support. The man found out that his wife had an affair and his child was not his biologically. However the state mandates that he still pays child support.
The mom wants him to pay child support but have no visitation rights. She seems to have no remorse. The law is siding with her.
What do you think? Should the man still pay child support for the child?
If the consequences is that the child would have to be on welfare if not, would that impact your thoughts?
The mom wants him to pay child support but have no visitation rights. She seems to have no remorse. The law is siding with her.
What do you think? Should the man still pay child support for the child?
If the consequences is that the child would have to be on welfare if not, would that impact your thoughts?
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Replies
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if the man has raised that child and they have a bond, THEN YES!0
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But if then man is lied to, he is just as much a victim as the child. Why he should provide care for a child that he did not bring in the world?0
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A woman that lies about paternity in order to extort a man for 18 years of child support is about the lowest form of scum there is. The fact that our legal system allows this abuse disgusts me. I feel that child support should be payable only after a DNA test confirms paternity.
If the man does develop a bond with the child he should be able to chose whether to provide support rather then being mandated to provide support as the bond was developed due to fraud by the mother.
It is possible that the mother and child may end up on government assistance. That is a shame but why should the victim of fraud (the man) be penalized with 18 years of debt?0 -
Agreed.A woman that lies about paternity in order to extort a man for 18 years of child support is about the lowest form of scum there is. The fact that our legal system allows this abuse disgusts me. I feel that child support should be payable only after a DNA test confirms paternity.
If the man does develop a bond with the child he should be able to chose whether to provide support rather then being mandated to provide support as the bond was developed due to fraud by the mother.
It is possible that the mother and child may end up on government assistance. That is a shame but why should the victim of fraud (the man) be penalized with 18 years of debt?0 -
A woman that lies about paternity in order to extort a man for 18 years of child support is about the lowest form of scum there is. The fact that our legal system allows this abuse disgusts me. I feel that child support should be payable only after a DNA test confirms paternity.
If the man does develop a bond with the child he should be able to chose whether to provide support rather then being mandated to provide support as the bond was developed due to fraud by the mother.
It is possible that the mother and child may end up on government assistance. That is a shame but why should the victim of fraud (the man) be penalized with 18 years of debt?
I agree. As a woman, I think this is an atrocity. There are no consequences for her fraudulent behavior. Not to mention, the devastation on the man who loved this child. My husband adores our children, if I had done something like that(which I would never) he should be allowed to see them and love them. But I would an ahole to ask for money or support. That is my opinion.0 -
A woman that lies about paternity in order to extort a man for 18 years of child support is about the lowest form of scum there is. The fact that our legal system allows this abuse disgusts me. I feel that child support should be payable only after a DNA test confirms paternity.
If the man does develop a bond with the child he should be able to chose whether to provide support rather then being mandated to provide support as the bond was developed due to fraud by the mother.
It is possible that the mother and child may end up on government assistance. That is a shame but why should the victim of fraud (the man) be penalized with 18 years of debt?
I agree with this. I also think that there are way too many men who do share the same DNA with the children and haven't given up parental rights have gotten off easy. My father did... because of cavernous cracks in the system.0 -
He shouldn't have to pay for it. It isn't his kid, and he doesn't even have visitation rights to the child he thought was his. UNLESS he has adopted the kid, then NO, he should not be compelled to pay child support. Why not find the biological father and make him pay up? If the mother cannot afford to have and care for this kid, they should be taken from her and placed in state custody until they can be adopted out to a family that can care for them.0
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Paternity tests should be mandatory before any child support is payed. If a woman is found to have lied about a childs father to get money from him, she should be charged with extortion or fraud. Since this isn't a perfect world at the very least if he does have to pay child support then he should get half custody. No custody at all = no child support. She shouldn't get the best of both worlds here0
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I think if she is honest and up front and states that she does not know, that is one thing. But knowing you had an affair, especially if you are married, to me it is immoral to go after the man for child support if there is any doubt.0
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Absolutely not. Find the real father and make him pay. I have three kids and the state rarely goes after their dad for child support. Why would they go after a man that didn't father the child.0
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Paternity tests should be mandatory before any child support is payed. If a woman is found to have lied about a childs father to get money from him, she should be charged with extortion or fraud. Since this isn't a perfect world at the very least if he does have to pay child support then he should get half custody. No custody at all = no child support. She shouldn't get the best of both worlds here
No way. There are a LOT of really crappy parents out there. If a woman divorces her husband because he's abusive, using drugs, etc he should pay child support if the kids are his but he shouldn't have any custody of the kids if he's a danger to them. Child support and visitation/custody are not and should not be tied together in any way, shape, or form.0 -
No way. There are a LOT of really crappy parents out there. If a woman divorces her husband because he's abusive, using drugs, etc he should pay child support if the kids are his but he shouldn't have any custody of the kids if he's a danger to them. Child support and visitation/custody are not and should not be tied together in any way, shape, or form.
I would have to disagree with you on the fact that child support and child custody should NOT be tied together. I would say they need to be tied together. A decision needs to be made in one way or another on visitation. Child support should be paid only in cases of legal adoption or biological children AFTER a MANDATORY paternity test. I say this because my husband pays child support for his daughter in Montana (we live in Oklahoma) and cannot call her or contact her in anyway because the mother does not want him in the picture. She lied on her child support papers about how much she pays in childcare expenses by claiming $3600 a year when she only pays half of that. My husband go screwed because he was only working 20-25 hours a week and the state imputed his income to 40 hours. At that time we only had one car and he walked 2 miles, one way, to get to work. His ex lies and has cheated on every man she has had a child with. And she has 4 children by 4 different men. I also think that the person paying the child support should have the ability to see what their child support is paying for if they want to. Granted that the state currently has child custody and child support in two different departments, my husband will be required to pay $2500 in a retainer fee to an attorney plus take off of work, pay for round trip ticket(s) to Montana and room and board while he's there just so he can get a phone call from his daughter or be able to speak to her when he wants to.
Regarding the OP, I don't think he should be required to pay for child support. That's not fair to him because he was the one that was duped and wronged. I think if he chooses to help the child with whatever she needs or wants, then that should be up to his discretion. But he should not be held liable for taking care of a child that is not his biologically or legally (legal adoption). I also think there should be a lot of concern for a woman or man that cheats on their spouse, takes the kids and demands child support. (I am not talking in regards to an abusive relationship.)0 -
I completely disagree. I have 3 children with a man who beat me, beat our oldest son, used drugs, never worked. I could go on and on. He pays child support on the rare occasion that he has a job. But he is in no way shape or form a good influence on my children. I have not allowed him to see the kids in 6 years. The last time he had them he let them go to the park alone in a not so good neighborhood. They were 9, 6 and 3. That is not acceptable. Not to mention all the people that he doesn't get along with or all his many drugged out friends. I don't want my children around that. IF (and that is a big IF) he ever gets his life together then maybe he can have a relationship with them. But seeing as how they are now 16, 13 and 10 and none of them have any wishes to see him I don't think that is going to happen anytime soon.0
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I completely disagree. I have 3 children with a man who beat me, beat our oldest son, used drugs, never worked. I could go on and on. He pays child support on the rare occasion that he has a job. But he is in no way shape or form a good influence on my children. I have not allowed him to see the kids in 6 years. The last time he had them he let them go to the park alone in a not so good neighborhood. They were 9, 6 and 3. That is not acceptable. Not to mention all the people that he doesn't get along with or all his many drugged out friends. I don't want my children around that. IF (and that is a big IF) he ever gets his life together then maybe he can have a relationship with them. But seeing as how they are now 16, 13 and 10 and none of them have any wishes to see him I don't think that is going to happen anytime soon.
This is why I said they should be tied together. The court should say "no, you are NOT allowed to have visitation with the children until you prove otherwise but you ARE required to pay child support for them." It is my understanding that where we live, Oklahoma, my ex can come pick up my children and it is not considered kidnapping because he is their father and is on the birth certificate and we have no legal custody order in place that says he can't. I too was in an abusive relationship and have denied their father visitation. And not once in 7 years has he paid a dime in child support.0
This discussion has been closed.