Would you?
MissingMinnesota
Posts: 7,486 Member
As some of you know I am a mortgage underwriter. Today one of my colleagues was reviewing a loan and the following question came up.
If you were dating/engaged to a guy that was currently seperated but not yet legally divorced would you purchase a house with them? In this situation the application for the man was marked as married and living with his parents while the woman was marked as unmarried.
For me I never would because I have seen guys go back to the wife they were seperated from. Also I have a hard time thinking about going into a purchase of a home with someone else when you are not married for legal reasons just in case they do split up. Dividing a house between two unmarried people is just trouble espeically if it is a nasty break up.
If you were dating/engaged to a guy that was currently seperated but not yet legally divorced would you purchase a house with them? In this situation the application for the man was marked as married and living with his parents while the woman was marked as unmarried.
For me I never would because I have seen guys go back to the wife they were seperated from. Also I have a hard time thinking about going into a purchase of a home with someone else when you are not married for legal reasons just in case they do split up. Dividing a house between two unmarried people is just trouble espeically if it is a nasty break up.
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I would not be opposed to buying a house without the marriage, but NO WAY if he was not yet divorced. That seems to be just asking for trouble, but I guess without knowing all the variables, maybe the answer would be different?0
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^^This0
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Absolutely not! In my state, if you aren't divorced you are still considered legally married (there is no legal status of "separated") so I wouldn't even date a man that wasn't divorced. But buy a house?? NO WAY. I'd only buy a house with someone I was married too, I've seen way too much drama involved in splitting finances/houses (I was a divorce attorney).0
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Hmmmm, I dont think so. If I bought the house with him, and he died 2 months later, wouldnt his spouse be entitled to half the house??
I dont really have a problem with separated guys as long as it's over 2 years, but to commit financially I'd have to be seriously drunk!! :laugh:0 -
Hmmmm, I dont think so. If I bought the house with him, and he died 2 months later, wouldnt his spouse be entitled to half the house??
I dont really have a problem with separated guys as long as it's over 2 years, but to commit financially I'd have to be seriously drunk!! :laugh:
In America it depends on the state if a legal spouse has legal right to a house without being on the mortgage note or title.0 -
I wouldn't buy a house with a man unless we were married. It's a huge financial burden that I don't want to deal with if he decides to bail.
Also, if the divorce is not complete isn't that considered an asset that he has to report before the final trial? I know that during my divorce proceedings, we had to disclose all financial information and were legally obligated to disclose any changes to that. That was in Hawaii, and I know laws vary by state, but it's something I'd be thinking about.0 -
I probably won't even buy a car with a guy that I wasn't married with.0
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In CA, if you purchase something new after a legal separation, that is on you, not your soon-to-be ex. CA is a community property state, too but that is how it works. Only assets during the marital timeframe until the date of separation are considered.Also, if the divorce is not complete isn't that considered an asset that he has to report before the final trial?0 -
To turn this around from a guys perspective, I wouldn't make any large purchases (house, car, cell phone even) with a woman who was just separated and not divorced.
On a side note, I was with a separated women (1 year apart) and she still ended up going back to her husband. So I am probably biased and jaded anyways.0 -
I would not live with a man unless we were married so no. Seems stupid, like you all said it would be "awkward" if you broke up, and the legal crap sounds awful.0
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To turn this around from a guys perspective, I wouldn't make any large purchases (house, car, cell phone even) with a woman who was just separated and not divorced.
On a side note, I was with a separated women (1 year apart) and she still ended up going back to her husband. So I am probably biased and jaded anyways.
Only reason I used the guy as seperated is because that was the actual loan we were working on. It goes both ways.0 -
To turn this around from a guys perspective, I wouldn't make any large purchases (house, car, cell phone even) with a woman who was just separated and not divorced.
On a side note, I was with a separated women (1 year apart) and she still ended up going back to her husband. So I am probably biased and jaded anyways.
Nope. Minus the jaded part.0 -
Unless we were in a long term committed relationship (since I don't really care about marriage anyway) I would not buy a house with another person. I would definitely not do it if he hadn't yet officially divorced the other lady.0
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I wouldn't buy a house with a man unless we were married. It's a huge financial burden that I don't want to deal with if he decides to bail.
Also, if the divorce is not complete isn't that considered an asset that he has to report before the final trial? I know that during my divorce proceedings, we had to disclose all financial information and were legally obligated to disclose any changes to that. That was in Hawaii, and I know laws vary by state, but it's something I'd be thinking about.
^^This - i think it could be considered an asset and his soon to be ex-wife could go after it, at least I am pretty sure here in california it would be considered "joint" property.0 -
no way, that's all around bad news . .
I could see the soon to be ex-wife getting a piece of the new house . .0 -
And think, if the ex-spouse is vengeful, they could totally go after the house. If a guy screwed me over, I might consider it haha0
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I wouldn't date a man still married, so I certainly wouldn't buy a house with him!!!
In Canada you can be legally seperated, but I think that is all just a bit sticky incase something happened... no thanks...
I did buy a house with a boyfriend once, and although we had 'no strings attached' elsewhere, when we broke up it was a pain in the behind!!!0 -
Nope. I'm one year from paying off 6 figure divorce debt. Any man that wants me to buy a house with him will need to buy it himself and marry me. Setting aside the moral concern of living with someone else's husband (because I know many don't have an issue with that) as others said this invites way too much crazy ex drama and financial liability. If he's married when he buys it, depending on your state that's automatically 50/50 hers. Louisiana is like that. Doesn't matter if she isn't on the deed or loan.
I could see someone else doing this in another country (didn't someone say in England if you're separated 2 years you're automatically divorced...???). But it's not a smart move here.0 -
I would never, ever buy a house with anyone and him being married is a HUGE NO!!! I love my bf and we talked about moving together in the future and we both agree that one of us should buy the house. I don't mind this at all, if things go wrong or don't work out neither of us would have to wait for the house to sell to get our share.0
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Any man that wants me to buy a house with him will need to buy it himself and marry me.
^^^ this . .cuz houses last longer than most marriages!0 -
I began typing something up about how I wouldn't even let my wife sleep over at my house but it just didn't come out right.
Hi everyone - hope you are all doing well!0 -
(didn't someone say in England if you're separated 2 years you're automatically divorced...???).
You're not 'automatically' divorced. You're 'legally' separated!! That means that you don't have to site reasons for divorcing (2 years apart is reason enough) and the paperwork is just a formality. But you still have to get the paperwork filed to be legally divorced :bigsmile:0 -
I began typing something up about how I wouldn't even let my wife sleep over at my house but it just didn't come out right.
Hi everyone - hope you are all doing well!
:laugh: :laugh:
*waves
Hi! :bigsmile:0 -
(didn't someone say in England if you're separated 2 years you're automatically divorced...???).
You're not 'automatically' divorced. You're 'legally' separated!! That means that you don't have to site reasons for divorcing (2 years apart is reason enough) and the paperwork is just a formality. But you still have to get the paperwork filed to be legally divorced :bigsmile:
Ah ok, we have similar here - no fault divorce, though the separation period varies by state.0 -
"If you were dating/engaged to a guy"
I think I'd have a whole other series of issues and discussions to be having if that were the case.
Seriously though, no.0 -
I wouldn't date a man still married, so I certainly wouldn't buy a house with him!!!
This!0
