Describing body type on dating sites?
UrbanLotus
Posts: 1,163 Member
So, this has always been a dilemma for me - wanted to see what yall do? Sometimes I put "no answer" or whatever because I have no idea how to describe it, but then that looks weird when you've answered all questions but that one. These are the descriptions on match, what would I be? I don't want to be misleading but I also don't want men to be turned off by the description especially if it is inaccurate. I'm 5'4" and have about 40 more lbs to lose (I have some pics in my profile here, have opened up my profile temporarily. I've lost 20lbs since these pics). I'm a size 12-14, but I have no hips - I'm all boobs. So curvy doesn't really apply unfortunately!
Slender
Big and beautiful
Curvy
About average
Athletic and toned
Full-figured
Heavyset
A few extra pounds
Stocky
Slender
Big and beautiful
Curvy
About average
Athletic and toned
Full-figured
Heavyset
A few extra pounds
Stocky
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Replies
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If I were you I would put about average. The average woman in America is a size 12 so I think it is totally the truth!0
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I agree that average size is 12, but guys generally dont assume that needing to lose 40 lbs is average..........so not sure what advice to give on this....I always choose a few extra pounds or curvy--both are accurate for me, but doesn't seem like there is one that really fits you?0
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I always put avarage .....or curvy if the site has one of those few pounds extra options ...0
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But does a few extra pound mean like 5-10 extra? I don't want to mislead
![:\](https://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/resources/emoji/confused.png ":\")
. Men, thoughts? 0 -
about average or a few extra pounds. It also depends on the website you are using. If someone can sort by the body type they are looking for do about average as you might miss out on guys when putting a few extra pounds but if it doesn't have that feature do either or.0
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I'd say put average down or a few extra ( although 5-10 lbs doesn't seem like too much to me but some people may get fussy).0
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I agree with either average or a few extra pounds. I don't think either is misleading. Good luck!!
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I do think average or a few extra pounds is fine.
A lot of people carry their weight differently. I'm overweight but I'm rather proportioned, meaning that my legs are also larger, and my shoulders are about the same width as my hips. I just have a bigger body in general, whereas some people just have a big belly but skinny legs, or are bigger but very hourglass in apperance.0 -
I've struggled with this before too. I usually put curvy because regardless of my weight at one time, I'm definitely a hippy gal which I think that expressed best.
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Thanks for yuor input everyone! I think I'll go with average 0
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At 40 pounds to lose, I would not recommend putting about average and rationalizing it. I would recommend a few extra pounds. You'll probably be filtered out of several guy's searches but such is life. If I see someone who lists themselves as about average but I consider them overweight I assume they are either dishonest, dillusional, too insecure about their appearance to tell the truth or think guys are too shallow to go for an overweight girl but not so shallow that they won't change their minds after meeting one. None of those are all that appealing.
Whatever you do, don't go with curvy. There really is curvy but in online lingo, all curvy means is that you're so fat that your boobs and/or *kitten* really stick out. The term has been dilluted so much that it doesn't have any real meaning anymore. It's just what a bunch of BBWs put because they don't want to put BBW. Unfortunately, the recommendation of a few extra pounds has the same problem. The person who needs to lose 60-80 pounds puts a few extra pounds instead of some other larger type and also dillutes the meaning of the term.
Whatever you choose, I suggest that you provide a few very recent full-body pictures. That way, you allow someone to make an informed decision about what you really look like. And I understand the desire to take flattering pictures but don't take these full-body pictures from elevated angles where the camera is looking down at you and giving a slimming effect. Let the guy know what you really look like. It will save you both time and trouble if he isn't interested because of your body type.0 -
I also noticed that you recently posted about a guy you liked not wanting a relationship. For your own sake and any potential guy's sake, please make sure you are mentally ready to get involved with someone before getting active on a dating site.0
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Whatever you do, don't go with curvy. There really is curvy but in online lingo, all curvy means is that you're so fat that your boobs and/or *kitten* really stick out. The term has been dilluted so much that it doesn't have any real meaning anymore. It's just what a bunch of BBWs put because they don't want to put BBW. Unfortunately, the recommendation of a few extra pounds has the same problem. The person who needs to lose 60-80 pounds puts a few extra pounds instead of some other larger type and also dillutes the meaning of the term.
Jeez. I had "curvy" where the option was available. Since guys always (and gals) comment on my curves, that's what I've used to describe myself. And my boobs are a C cup and I wish my *kitten* was bigger! hehe0 -
I've been active on dating sites for a while, this is nothing new. And the guy wasn't my boyfriend, I am fine, I have been dating other people the whole time. That has nothing to do with my question. And yes, I have several full body pics from before I lost weight.0
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I don't know, when I online dated a while back I went by pics, not by "body type".
People like to fib about their body types, both men and women.
So, let the pics do the talking.
My point is: It is irrelevant. As long as you have honest pics (that show your face AND body) it shouldn't matter.0 -
At 40 pounds to lose, I would not recommend putting about average and rationalizing it. I would recommend a few extra pounds. You'll probably be filtered out of several guy's searches but such is life. If I see someone who lists themselves as about average but I consider them overweight I assume they are either dishonest, dillusional, too insecure about their appearance to tell the truth or think guys are too shallow to go for an overweight girl but not so shallow that they won't change their minds after meeting one. None of those are all that appealing.
Whatever you do, don't go with curvy. There really is curvy but in online lingo, all curvy means is that you're so fat that your boobs and/or *kitten* really stick out. The term has been dilluted so much that it doesn't have any real meaning anymore. It's just what a bunch of BBWs put because they don't want to put BBW. Unfortunately, the recommendation of a few extra pounds has the same problem. The person who needs to lose 60-80 pounds puts a few extra pounds instead of some other larger type and also dillutes the meaning of the term.
Whatever you choose, I suggest that you provide a few very recent full-body pictures. That way, you allow someone to make an informed decision about what you really look like. And I understand the desire to take flattering pictures but don't take these full-body pictures from elevated angles where the camera is looking down at you and giving a slimming effect. Let the guy know what you really look like. It will save you both time and trouble if he isn't interested because of your body type.
^^^^This. It's important not to appear to mislead even though that is obviously not your intention, but nobody viewing your profile on a dating site knows that. I'd rather say I've got weight to lose, post a few REAL full on full bodied pics and let the chips fall where they may.
I didn't reply earlier because it sounded like you had already made your decision.0 -
I just have always left the body type blank. Granted I may get missed in searches that eliminate 'body type'. But I have a couple of full body pictures. So anyone can see my body shape and decide for themselves.
I am really athletic, but don't fit 'athletic' being overweight. But didn't like 'overweight' because of how athletic I am, always active and not just sitting around.0 -
F it. I put "a few extra pounds" because I didn't want to identify as a BBW and am still losing weight...and because I am definitely on the cusp of BBW....well maybe more like in that camp altogether. I hate the term. So am I misleading? You could also call me blonde or brown haired, depending on your perspective, as well as short or tall..just depends on your reference point.
I always include several full body shots and they are always less than a couple months old. If how I choose to identify myself doesn't fit with someone else's perception of me or the descriptive terms...not my problem.
And DB...really? Curvy now means "you are so fat your boobs and/or *kitten* really stick out"? To be honest..both stick out way more on me now after weight loss..and no one seems to be complaining about that.0 -
Fullofwhimsy, you're right, it is all perspective! And pics are more important than the description.
That curvy comment was so ridiculous I chose not to respond lol.0 -
And DB...really? Curvy now means "you are so fat your boobs and/or *kitten* really stick out"? To be honest..both stick out way more on me now after weight loss..and no one seems to be complaining about that.
There was actually a post on the topic of curvy a few months ago. The consensus was that curvy is used so much that it has lost its true meaning. A lot of women here said that women use curvy to mean fat. My experience on dating sites is that there are a lot of obese to morbidly obese women listed as curvy as well.0 -
Hey baby..I don't disagree with you. The meaning of "curvy" has expanded to include not only thin women with fake boobs. Have the meanings been diluted? Yes. Do they speak towards more "fat acceptance"? Probably. But my question is why was curvy ever restricted to a weight class anyway? Anyone with rolls of fat can tell you that they definitely curve. I think it really speaks to a greater problem of us still seeing "fat" as bad, unattractive, ugly and unworthy of love. And that type of shaming just shouldn't happen. Now if you would like to draw up an international and comprehensive chart of body type, weight, shape and size and we can all agree that I am indeed a BBW on an international scale..sure. Otherwise as I said earlier..F it. I maintain the right to identify myself and my body however I choose. And the truth is yes, I am still fat...but I don't hate or despise my body.0
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I agree with David on this. Sorry girls but curvy now means fat on online dating sites and usually greater than a few extra pounds to lose. If a guy is limiting his search to slim, average or athletic girls he will more than likely exclude curvy from his search before he would exclude a few extra pounds. There is no body shaming in this it is just a dating site. If I was talking to someone personally I would say I am curvy since I am boarderline hourglass but on a dating site I am putting down a few extra pounds right now.0
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I agree with David on this. Sorry girls but curvy now means fat on online dating sites and usually greater than a few extra pounds to lose.
I don't disagee with that - curvy doesn't mean fat but thats how it is often being used rather than a curvy waist-hip ratio. What I disagree with is it meaning "you are so fat your boobs and/or *kitten* really stick out" - that makes no sense. Slim women can also have T&A, and often very overweight women don't (because they gain in other areas, or their boobs/*kitten* are not distinct from other body parts). And in my world boobs & *kitten* sticking out is not a bad thing!0 -
you misspelled "hot"And the truth is yes, I am still fat...but I don't hate or despise my body.0 -
you misspelled "hot"And the truth is yes, I am still fat...but I don't hate or despise my body.
Ahhh, C - you're so sweet. :flowerforyou:
I'm in total agreement... FoW is totally hot!
Chiming in on OP -- I think DB said it well. Post full body pics. I always go with "a few extra pounds". I have about 15-20 to go, but I think I'm almost average but not by my standards. I believe current photos are the way to go. I'm sure I get passed over when some of the guys see mine, but eh... it's all good. There are plenty of men out there that will like the way you look!
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I'm with DB.0
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I recently heard on the radio that while most women describe the "ideal size" as a 6, the majority of men placed the ideal woman's size at a 12. So, it seems men like a little bit more on their women.
Anyway, I'd go with curvy...I have boobs and hips...or I might say "fluffy"...although I'm working to reduce said fluff.0 -
I recently heard on the radio that while most women describe the "ideal size" as a 6, the majority of men placed the ideal woman's size at a 12. So, it seems men like a little bit more on their women.
Anyway, I'd go with curvy...I have boobs and hips...or I might say "fluffy"...although I'm working to reduce said fluff.
It's probably more likely that men don't know womens sizes.0 -
I recently heard on the radio that while most women describe the "ideal size" as a 6, the majority of men placed the ideal woman's size at a 12. So, it seems men like a little bit more on their women.
Anyway, I'd go with curvy...I have boobs and hips...or I might say "fluffy"...although I'm working to reduce said fluff.
It's probably more likely that men don't know womens sizes.
For studies like that, they don't ask "what size do you prefer" and expect a number. They show the men images of women at various sizes and shapes and ask them which of the pictures they prefer. At least in the few studies I have read on the topic, that was the case.1 -
Aww.. Lacroyx! That was so sweet.
Excellent flirting by the way...0
