Declining Deadlift 'Advice'

velocirobot

Is there a polite way to say 'thanks, but no thank you' when someone offers to help correct your DL form? A nice older gentleman in my gym tried to help me out today, by hollering at me in the middle of my DL warmup set to tell me I was doing it all wrong, and I was going to hurt my back. I have been a little worried about my form, so I readily stepped back to allow him to assist me. I wasn't keeping my head up, so that was good advice, but then he told me to 'get (my) butt lower! No...lower than that! You're going to hurt yourself!! Your feet shouldn't be shoulder-width apart! That's too far!''

I ended up in a below-parallel squat position, knees way out over the bar, my head so far back it felt like it was resting on my shoulder blades, and an inability to even heft 95lbs off the floor.

That's not how it's supposed to be, is it? I've watched video after video, and that just didn't feel like it was right. Maybe it is, and I've been doing it all wrong? If so, that positioning hurt my back waaay more than the incorrect form :frown:

The same man also volunteered replacement exercises to work my back, since I 'shouldn't be doing heavy lifts anyway', since I just want to 'lose weight and get toned' (what makes him think that's my only goal?). Anyways, is there a nice way to avoid well-meaning, but bad advice? I don't want to be mean or ugly, but I also don't want to actually hurt myself doing something in an incorrect way for me, personally.

jstout365

If you have watched video after video then you know what you should be doing. Don't listen to every person at the gym. I would first say, "thanks, but I've had my form checked before and this is the way I've been taught and am comfortable with. " If they insist to "help" you with your form, ask them to demonstrate first. That will give you an idea if they know what they are talking about or not. If they look a lot different from the videos, DO NOT copy them.

It may take a snide comment to keep some of the "helpers" away. If anyone were to tell me to do something different because I "shouldn't be lifting that heavy" I would have some choice words for them.

On another note, wearing headphones keeps most talkers away.

kirabob

Do you have an iPod or smart phone that you take with you? I downloaded the digital copy of Starting Strength, and whenever anyone tries to 'help' in a way that I don't think jives with my research, I'll say "Hmm, let me compare your suggestion to what Mark Rippetoe says in Starting Strength." That either shuts them up, or they are genuinely curious and learn something.

BikerGirlElaine

I would just be rude. :bigsmile:

Amazing1985RSD

I ended up in a below-parallel squat position, knees way out over the bar, my head so far back it felt like it was resting on my shoulder blades, and an inability to even heft 95lbs off the floor.

That's not how it's supposed to be, is it? I've watched video after video, and that just didn't feel like it was right. Maybe it is, and I've been doing it all wrong? If so, that positioning hurt my back waaay more than the incorrect form :frown:

Yea you can go that low, but it's not where you want to be in order to lift the weight up lol. I might do this sometimes in order to stretch or to aid in getting into the correct starting position. You want to make sure there's no slack before you get it up off the ground.

Here is probably my best deadlift video:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fNjJrHKWukk

It wasn't perfect because if you look closely, I still had to pull the bar closer to me in order to lift it up.

I've been open minded about listening to others' advice in the past. This one dude would google things on his phone in order to double check what we were talking about and I'd usually be right. I think some people don't take me seriously because I'm still kind of a skinny guy and I'm not a certified personal trainer. Seriously, a lot of guys don't really know what they are talking about.

I really don't like arguing with people so I would just be courteous about it and just avoid talking to them again.

Gwyn1969

I would never give unasked for advice and interrupt someone else's training time. I expect the same courtesy from others. I have been firm on occasion. Sometimes this translates as rude, but honestly, after someone has been rude to me, I really don't care about hurting their feelings. Usually I just say "I already have a coach." Although technically my coach is a guy in Texas who wrote some books, it's true enough.