Out on the Limb when the Limb Breaks

mego07

Okay single people! How many time has then happened to you?...

I have been flirting it up with a super cute semi-coworker; we work in different departments and barely see one another. I have recently became single and not looking for anything serious. I have been leaving hints and trying to bring up subjects where we would mention if he had a girlfriend or not.. I am really shy when it comes to guys and don't know how to be blunt and straight up and ask. So finally, I go balls to the wall and blurt out, "do you want to go out sometime? Maybe for drinks?" He just stares at me in confusion and states " I have a girlfriend, but if you'd like to hang out as friends with us, that would be okay." I reply with "oh i figure you would" all smiles and walk off like a giant dork.

This is why I don't do things like this. I thought being single at 24 with a great job is suppose to be easy and fun.

Anyone else have silly fails at going out on a limb?

christine24t

Hey, I think that is very brave, way to have some balls, girl!

Too bad that he didn't take the hint before and figure out you were trying to ask if he had a girlfriend. Maybe next time be a little more aggressive with that questioning. A good question would be, "so I know you live here in Blah Blah Town but who do you live with?"

Hey and if you hang out with him and his girlfriend, kudos to you. I couldn't do it.

mego07

Lol no way! Talk about Über awkward! Especially if he told his girlfriend "hey this is that gal who asked me out" yikes. I asked him about his weekends and he talked about things he had to do around his place. I mentioned oh you have a honey do list.. he said no, more like a me list. So i stupidly took that as maybe no girlfriend. We have talked back and forth as friendly co-workers for 3 weeks, you'd think he would have brought her up at some point.

Ah well.

christine24t

Lol no way! Talk about Über awkward! Especially if he told his girlfriend "hey this is that gal who asked me out" yikes. I asked him about his weekends and he talked about things he had to do around his place. I mentioned oh you have a honey do list.. he said no, more like a me list. So i stupidly took that as maybe no girlfriend. We have talked back and forth as friendly co-workers for 3 weeks, you'd think he would have brought her up at some point.

Ah well.

I agree that you think she would come up in conversation. Maybe they're not that serious or maybe he liked the flirting and attention?

mego07

I have to see him all this week at work, we share a training room but for different campaigns at my job. I am trying to decide if I should avoid at all cost or act like it never happened and still talk to him if i see him around.

Also, love your dress in your picture!

christine24t

I have to see him all this week at work, we share a training room but for different campaigns at my job. I am trying to decide if I should avoid at all cost or act like it never happened and still talk to him if i see him around.

Also, love your dress in your picture!

Thank you! Yours is very cute as well!

I think most people would act like it never happened but I would ignore haha.

SolanumSunrise

I think you should keep talking to him. You never know how long that girlfriend will last. Even if nothing ever comes of it it's fun to flirt.

AnnaPixie

I mentioned oh you have a honey do list.. he said no, more like a me list.

A honey do list??? :laugh:

It's great that you asked him. Kudos :flowerforyou:

dbrightwell1270

Welcome to the guy's world. I'm sure it was devastating. You know, the way he lauhed in your face at the notion that he would ever date someone as lowly as you. The way he yelled out to everyone around, "Hey look. This pathetic loser asked me out! Can you believe it?" The way your heart just stopped and the paramedics had to rip your shirt open to use the difribulator while all the guys stood around staring at your breast.

Oh wait. None of that happened. He told you he had a girlfriend and your life went on. My mistake. I thought some limb broke and you were seriously injured as a result. It looks to me like your hints and stuff were way more subtle than you think and are easily confused with just a coworker being friendly rather than an interested women being flirtatious. Work on your game and move on.

RunIntheMud

Kudos on trying.

I wouldn't go as far to say "work on your game". I think that you are doing well. You're out there flirting and showing yourself as available. The guy didn't give any indication that he had a girlfriend so why not ask? You aksked, he said no. I'd keep chatting with him, because as the others said that girlfriend may not be around forever. And, oh well if she is. You two obviously have some things in common, so he could be a good friend to have either way.

Roadie2000

Welcome to the guy's world.

My thoughts exactly. This has literally happened to me dozens of times. It's slightly embarrassing at first, but you'll survive. Now it will be much easier to move on and find someone else to crush on.

Fithealthyforlife

Meg,

I can totally relate, since something similar happened to me. I was recently working out with a girl for a few weeks. We had great conversation outside of the gym, too, and she was giving all the classic signs. I asked her if she wanted to hang out/go out sometime. She said sure. Then the next time I brought it up at the end of our workout a week later, she ignored it. Then once we stepped out of the gym, she said she wanted to set something straight and set a few boundaries...and proceeded to tell me I needed to never bring up the topic of going out again. We went our separate ways after that, and she said it would have been ok to hang out strictly in the gym, but now that this had happened, we probably shouldn't work out together anymore. She had apparently misinterpreted my "going out/hanging out" to mean that I wanted her as a girlfriend after knowing her for a short time. I think some people just don't take the time to listen/ask questions. She could have asked me what I meant. I still am not entirely sure why she didn't understand the concept of going out one time with no strings attached...I lost a potential friend, but am probably better off without her. Thankfully I have not run into her again.

btw, from what I see/hear, I'd probably ask you out if I knew you and knew you were single.

pa_jorg

Congrats on trying, I'm always impressed when people put themselves out there!

TheKitsune6

Hey, I think that is very brave, way to have some balls, girl.

Psh, balls are weak and vulnerable. Way to have some ovaries more like! :laugh:

Seriously though, being a bit dramatic. As DB pointed out no harm done. You were embarrassed for a minute and then life kept going. There's no "game" to work on, he has a girlfriend, that's not a fault in your game it's just bad luck. Don't act any differently about him, be professional and friendly. The only reason it's ever awkward is because someone is acting awkward.

I'm a girl that makes moves all the time, sometimes it works sometimes it doesn't, but I've never once regretted it.

Meghan0116

Meg,

I can totally relate, since something similar happened to me. I was recently working out with a girl for a few weeks. We had great conversation outside of the gym, too, and she was giving all the classic signs. I asked her if she wanted to hang out/go out sometime. She said sure. Then the next time I brought it up at the end of our workout a week later, she ignored it. Then once we stepped out of the gym, she said she wanted to set something straight and set a few boundaries...and proceeded to tell me I needed to never bring up the topic of going out again. We went our separate ways after that, and she said it would have been ok to hang out strictly in the gym, but now that this had happened, we probably shouldn't work out together anymore. She had apparently misinterpreted my "going out/hanging out" to mean that I wanted her as a girlfriend after knowing her for a short time. I think some people just don't take the time to listen/ask questions. She could have asked me what I meant. I still am not entirely sure why she didn't understand the concept of going out one time with no strings attached...I lost a potential friend, but am probably better off without her. Thankfully I have not run into her again.

btw, from what I see/hear, I'd probably ask you out if I knew you and knew you were single.

This girl just sound like a b***h, in my opinion. You are better off.

To the OP: I think it is great that you had the balls to ask. You weren't rejected, he has a girlfriend. Shake it off and move on.

pa_jorg

Hey, I think that is very brave, way to have some balls, girl.

Psh, balls are weak and vulnerable. Way to have some ovaries more like! :laugh:

TheKitsune6

Hey, I think that is very brave, way to have some balls, girl.

Psh, balls are weak and vulnerable. Way to have some ovaries more like! :laugh:

ex-f*cking-actly.

dbrightwell1270

My point about working on your game was more because you made comments that he should have known you were flirting and taken some of the hints and mentioned his girlfriend. Your description of the encounter made it seem like he was completely surprised that you asked him out. If he was that surprised, you were probably way more subtle than you thought you were. If he missed the hints, other guys have probably missed them too.

Then again, it could be that he doesn't think about women flirting with him because he is so serious about the gf or that he doesn't really have a gf but made her up rather than say he has no interest in you. Although, if he really had no gf, it was dangerous to suggest you could hang out with them.