The MIL Vent Thread
Pepper2185
Posts: 994 Member
I'm sure a lot of you have a Mother-in-Law. I'm sure your MIL is kind and lovely.
But sometimes she says or does something that is really ridiculous and it makes the hair on the back of your neck stand up.
We all need a little vent once in a while, and I'm sure we can empathize with each other, and maybe have a giggle
But sometimes she says or does something that is really ridiculous and it makes the hair on the back of your neck stand up.
We all need a little vent once in a while, and I'm sure we can empathize with each other, and maybe have a giggle
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Replies
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My vent:
Every time I see my MIL she puts her fingers in my baby's mouth to feel around for teeth. Despite me saying "no he isn't getting any more teeth, I checked."
She even does this while we are out in public - why would she stick her germy fingers in my baby's mouth? I wouldn't stick my fingers in HER mouth to say hello. I don't even stick my fingers in the baby's mouth because a) germs and b) I don't want him to think it's okay to bite fingers.
*ahhhh*0 -
My vent:
Every time I see my MIL she puts her fingers in my baby's mouth to feel around for teeth. Despite me saying "no he isn't getting any more teeth, I checked."
She even does this while we are out in public - why would she stick her germy fingers in my baby's mouth? I wouldn't stick my fingers in HER mouth to say hello. I don't even stick my fingers in the baby's mouth because a) germs and b) I don't want him to think it's okay to bite fingers.
*ahhhh*
Ew! Whatever happened to asking? My dad is a freaking pediatrician, and if he wanted to know about my son's teeth, he'd ask. If he wanted to see them, he'd make him laugh or smile. I only ever did it to feel for teeth, and I made sure my hands were clean first.0 -
Gross! I'd be tempted to slap her!
Once, after weeks of bugging me, I brought the kids over to her (I had a super busy work schedule and honestly had no time to see them for about 3 weeks). She lured me over by saying she was making this delicious meal. I got several calls on a Saturday at 9 am. So after t ball, I head over there, without my husband because he works nights and needs his rest.
We get there. There's no food. I haven't eaten. I'm getting *****y. My son is cranky. The baby is looking at me with a WTF are we doing here face as my MIL cuddles her and holds her in a way she doesn't like.
MIL says she is off to buy more ingredients for the food. She leaves. While I'm still there. She's gone for 3 hours. 3 freakin' hours. I waited because my SIL was there to keep me company and she kept saying her mom would be back soon and she'd make this and that.
So at the 3 hour mark, I'm like F this and gather up the kids. In comes my MIL, shocked and saying, "You're leaving?" She had NO GROCERIES with her. I was so angry I didn't even ask what the hold up was, where the food was, etc. We went home to eat our own damn food.0 -
I don't even know where to start with this, but suffice it to say that my MIL and I don't really get along. We don't hate each other or anything, but she just gets under my skin, and she pushes me past my comfort zone to force a relationship that really shouldn't be forced. I probably wouldn't mind so much if she didn't try so hard.
But I have to share this story... Imagine it's 2005.
My husband and I were engaged, and we were in Georgia for the summer, since that's where he is from and where we had planned to move after we both finished law school the following year (after which point we would get married). We had a wedding date set and everything, so it was clear that this was not something we were taking lightly.
We were living with his grandmother (ugh), but my MIL and FIL's lake house was about an hour away. The policy on the lake house is that any of us can use it, just be gentle with it, clean it up before you leave, and if there's something that needs to be done (like a gutter is clogged and needs attention), do it. It's worked for years, and the rule went that if you needed a specific weekend at the lake house to yourself - say you just want a weekend alone or you want to bring friends out there or something - just say so, and no one will bother you. My FIL (who's easy-going like my husband and his two brothers) even told us that we should set aside a couple of weekends to go up there by ourselves to sort of "honeymoon," since we both had stressful summer jobs.
So we decided we would do that. Long story short, we would tell everyone the lake house was off-limits because we wanted to be up there, everyone would agree, and then someone would show up. So we'd say, "Ok, then, next weekend is ours." And someone would show up. This happened no less than 5 times before we gave up. Every excuse in the book was used to justify their presence, but honestly I believe that my MIL didn't want us to be alone up there because we weren't married yet and would convince someone to make up an excuse to be there.
I guess it's probably pretty important to mention at this point that my MIL is a Methodist minister.
Now the lake house isn't very big. There are only two bedrooms plus a loft area, so when everyone goes up at the same time, it's rather crowded and means that some people have to sleep on couches or on the floor.
One time we were up there on a weekend where everyone was to be up there except the one brother who lived farther away. Besides us, that was one brother, his wife and son, Grandma, and MIL and FIL. Grandma went to bed early up in the loft area, and since she is a loud snorer, no one wanted to sleep up there on the other bed. MIL and FIL took the master bedroom, as usual, and my BIL and his family *insisted* that we take the other bedroom, since there were only two of us, and the three of them would happily camp out in the family room (plus my nephew was younger at the time and got up really early, so if we had slept in the family room, we'd get woken up pretty early).
I guess my MIL did not realize that my husband and I - again, engaged but not married - had gone to sleep in the other bedroom. Alone. In the same bed.
Now we are respectful people and were not doing anything, um, unholy, but when we sat down to breakfast, my MIL sat down with us and said that she didn't approve of our sleeping together in the same room because fornication is a sin, and the devil might force us to fornicate, thus using us to get to her.
I think my cereal nearly fell out of my mouth. I was being given a "sex talk" at 25.
She offered to marry us privately at her church, and then we could have our wedding the following October (over a year later). I said we needed to talk about it, and my husband and I quickly hurried out of the house to take a walk. He was as mortified as I was, and we decided that her solution would not work because it would essentially be lying to all of our wedding guests the following year, nor did we want our wedding to be basically us and her and no one else important to us.
When we got back to the house, FIL basically met us at the door and said that he didn't agree with her assessment of the situation but suggested that we all sit down and pray about it to reassure her that although we were not yet married we were indeed committed to marriage. (FIL's thought process was that by being engaged we had already agreed to marry, so, you know...)
MIL was fine with that, so we complied, and she married us in October of the following year.
But I have never forgotten it, nor do I think I ever will.
ETA that the TL;DR version is that when my husband and I were engaged but not yet married, my minister-MIL decided to have a premarital sex talk with us because she was afraid the devil was making us fornicate, in other words, using us to get to her. I was 25, and my husband was 27. And that's more or less how she and I started off our relationship, which has never quite been on the right foot.0 -
Gross! I'd be tempted to slap her!
Once, after weeks of bugging me, I brought the kids over to her (I had a super busy work schedule and honestly had no time to see them for about 3 weeks). She lured me over by saying she was making this delicious meal. I got several calls on a Saturday at 9 am. So after t ball, I head over there, without my husband because he works nights and needs his rest.
We get there. There's no food. I haven't eaten. I'm getting *****y. My son is cranky. The baby is looking at me with a WTF are we doing here face as my MIL cuddles her and holds her in a way she doesn't like.
MIL says she is off to buy more ingredients for the food. She leaves. While I'm still there. She's gone for 3 hours. 3 freakin' hours. I waited because my SIL was there to keep me company and she kept saying her mom would be back soon and she'd make this and that.
So at the 3 hour mark, I'm like F this and gather up the kids. In comes my MIL, shocked and saying, "You're leaving?" She had NO GROCERIES with her. I was so angry I didn't even ask what the hold up was, where the food was, etc. We went home to eat our own damn food.
What the? WHO DOES THAT?!?0 -
Gross! I'd be tempted to slap her!
Once, after weeks of bugging me, I brought the kids over to her (I had a super busy work schedule and honestly had no time to see them for about 3 weeks). She lured me over by saying she was making this delicious meal. I got several calls on a Saturday at 9 am. So after t ball, I head over there, without my husband because he works nights and needs his rest.
We get there. There's no food. I haven't eaten. I'm getting *****y. My son is cranky. The baby is looking at me with a WTF are we doing here face as my MIL cuddles her and holds her in a way she doesn't like.
MIL says she is off to buy more ingredients for the food. She leaves. While I'm still there. She's gone for 3 hours. 3 freakin' hours. I waited because my SIL was there to keep me company and she kept saying her mom would be back soon and she'd make this and that.
So at the 3 hour mark, I'm like F this and gather up the kids. In comes my MIL, shocked and saying, "You're leaving?" She had NO GROCERIES with her. I was so angry I didn't even ask what the hold up was, where the food was, etc. We went home to eat our own damn food.
That is so bizarre! I would have been miffed. Where did she go for 3 hours?0 -
So I'm fortunate my MIL isn't very involved?? 0
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I guess my problem is my MIL made all these promises to us to get us to move up here. She lured us with free babysitting, helping me out with our son ( we only had one at the time). Both my parents were still working at the time and getting ready to retire so I was excited to have help so I move 12 hours away from where I am comfortable to be in a strange town where I know absolutely no one. Needless to say all her promises were empty. She lives 4 miles from me and has never seen where I live. Keep in mind I have been living in the same place for 6 years. I have to bring the kids to her when she has time regardless of what I am doing. I have to drop everything when she or her sister need something or want to see the kids. Also her sister who lives only 2 miles from me has never seen my daughter and she is 5 months old.
When I do take the kids to see my MIL all she does is complain about my SIL who is forever pregnant and who I can't stand anyway (she says that I let other people raise my kids since I work full time). Needless to say I live in a town where I still do not have any friends because I am considered a southerner and I am supposedly slow and lazy my closest relative is 7 hours away and my son hates it here too. My hubby and I have been looking for jobs elsewhere for over a year. Can't wait to get away from this woman. My parents are both retired now too and they see my kids more often than the woman who lives 4 miles away and they are 7 hours away. Pretty sad huh???0 -
Girlfriend,that would bug the SHIZ out of me!!! Get your germ infested hands out of my kids mouth! How many times would someone do that? Have you ever asked her why she does that?!
My MIL is pretty awesome,i can't complain. She's almost TOO nice,which kinda creeps me out sometimes. The only complaint with her,is that she will let my son have like,jelly beans for breakfast and tons of chocolate and lets him watch Spongebob for hours. I guess that's what grandparents are for?It still bugs me. I literally have to say, "Nancy, PLEASE don't give him sugar and only 2 episodes of sponge bob." She lives in New Mexico and rarely comes to visit,so i guess i gotta let her have a little fun,huh? LOL!0 -
@RBXChas - I don't know if I would have made it through a weekend at the lake house. You are a strong woman!
@chickybuns - yes, it's better to have a non-involved MIL than an overbearing/annoying one
@blink - it really sucks that you uprooted yourself and your family and it hasn't worked out! Too bad your MIL isn't helping out like she said she would, I hope things get better for you!
@daytolive - I've told my mom and my MIL that we don't plan on giving Max sugar ... But I think it will be "what happens at grandmas house stays at grandmas house" and I'm not entirely cool with that. I think it's the nature of grandparents to bend the rules a bit, but I'm a control freak and the thought of that bugs me 0 -
Oh Loooooord, don't get me started. I love my MIL, but goodness knows we've had our share of differences.
At 4 months, we were letting our oldest daughter Elsie listen to lullabies by popluar artists. One of them happened to be ACDC. My MIL realized that our daughter was listening to the music (not the lyrics) to Highway to Hell (she was also frustrated with beer bottles she saw in our house while babysitting) and she wrote us a 2 page letter about how our 4 month old was "wet cement" and we were basically raising a Jesus-hater. Needless to say, we wrote her a letter back. A letter about boundaries and how we have differing parenting styles.
She also gave Elsie cakes and ice cream whenever she got a chance before she was a year old. Nevermind the fact that I told her time and time again that we wanted to limit any sugars until she was a year old. Like @Pepper2185, she was of the idea that "what happens at Grandma's stay's at Grandma's"...were these mother-in-laws never Mothers?!!!?
Annnnnnnnnnnd, after a 4 day vacation with my husband's family this past weekend...I'm a little bitter. At one point, she said to my youngest, Jovie (who is almost 7 months) "you smell like spoiled milk" and then proceeded to clean out under her chin/neck thus undermining my parenting abilities. Ugh. MILs are the worst!0 -
my daughter is 10 months old and every time we go to their house, despite me telling them she cant have certain foods, they just stick ANYTHING in her mouth. I find myself telling them all the time. Ugh, so annoying.0
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Gross! I'd be tempted to slap her!
Once, after weeks of bugging me, I brought the kids over to her (I had a super busy work schedule and honestly had no time to see them for about 3 weeks). She lured me over by saying she was making this delicious meal. I got several calls on a Saturday at 9 am. So after t ball, I head over there, without my husband because he works nights and needs his rest.
We get there. There's no food. I haven't eaten. I'm getting *****y. My son is cranky. The baby is looking at me with a WTF are we doing here face as my MIL cuddles her and holds her in a way she doesn't like.
MIL says she is off to buy more ingredients for the food. She leaves. While I'm still there. She's gone for 3 hours. 3 freakin' hours. I waited because my SIL was there to keep me company and she kept saying her mom would be back soon and she'd make this and that.
So at the 3 hour mark, I'm like F this and gather up the kids. In comes my MIL, shocked and saying, "You're leaving?" She had NO GROCERIES with her. I was so angry I didn't even ask what the hold up was, where the food was, etc. We went home to eat our own damn food.
That is so bizarre! I would have been miffed. Where did she go for 3 hours?
I never asked. I was too angry. But I'm sure she was at the casino.0 -
At 4 months, we were letting our oldest daughter Elsie listen to lullabies by popluar artists. One of them happened to be ACDC. My MIL realized that our daughter was listening to the music (not the lyrics) to Highway to Hell (she was also frustrated with beer bottles she saw in our house while babysitting) and she wrote us a 2 page letter about how our 4 month old was "wet cement" and we were basically raising a Jesus-hater. Needless to say, we wrote her a letter back. A letter about boundaries and how we have differing parenting styles.
:noway: wow... I think I would have raged if I got a letter like that from my MIL!
Edit: crappy spelling on my part.0
