1 year on MFP

dawnp1833

Yesterday was the one year anniversary of me joining MFP. At first I did great, but over the past couple of months I've stopped exercising regularly, got lazy about what I was eating. But I still made an effort.

For 51 weeks I logged every single day (although sometimes after midnight, so it didn't count on the ticker here) until last Friday, when I totally gave up and went on the biggest binge ever. I ate everything that I hadn't been eating and in big quantities. Cake, ice cream, potato chips and dip... you name it, it probably got in my belly in the past week. I gained 5 lbs. (feels like so much more) I look awful. Not just the weight, but everything - my hair seems flat and greasy, my nails keep breaking, my skin has kind of a blah look to it.

So here I am, ready to start year 2 and was thinking about just giving up. But I can't do that. So I'm going to try to start again.

I have to just tell my self that my soul-sucking boss doesn't define me. I'm going to focus on the things in life that give me joy and try to think of my job as just a means to get money to support the other parts of my life. (really, I feel so miserable, but there are some great things in my life). And mostly, I'm going to start taking better care of myself.

So, I'm posting this here because I feel like that will make me accountable. Thanks for giving me a place to do that. :ohwell:

EvelynBfly78

You must be doing something right because you lost 10 lbs. Glad you aren't giving up. There's no reason you can't eat cake, ice cream, chips, etc. in moderation.
Once you get back into the swing of things--eating better & exercising--you'll feel so much better. Self-care is very important. Try to do something nice for yourself every day. You're worth it.

bookworm_847

Definitely don't give up!!! I think the beauty of this is that if things go awry, you can always start again. That's a good attitude you have about your job, and I really hope things get better in that department too.

We're here for you! :flowerforyou:

susanjean62

I have been taking care of a friend and not able to post so just now saw your post. I can totally understand how you feel and what you are going through. I went through a similar job situation with toxic people and I let it almost destroy me. Food can be like a drug and I ate and ate. I wish I could just reach into the computer,pull you out and give you a giant hug. Please don't ever give up on yourself. Take it one day at a time,make mini goals,and know we love you and all of us,have had to deal with emotional eating or we wouldn't be in this group. You are not alone. Hang in there,sweet pea and come here every day and check in. Whatever helps you get over the speed bump. You are a beautiful person. Believe it!:flowerforyou:

dawnp1833

You must be doing something right because you lost 10 lbs.

Yeah, well... I had lost 28 lbs. That 10 lbs is just what I haven't gained back yet. So... kind of back to the start.

Everyone, thank you so much for the kind words and encouragement. I appreciate having people who understand and care. Thank you.

susanjean62

At least you caught it before it became A huge weight gain. I'm sure 10 pounds feels as if it is a lot,but the nice thing is,it is NEVER a permanent condition. I lost 50 and kept it off for years,and I let the needle on the scale keep going up,and finally stopped weighing. It seemed as if I woke up one morning,and weighed 56 pounds more than I weighed in the past year. I felt all of the emotions you are having now,but not for 10 pounds but 56 pounds. Thank goodness you can start new,and have a smaller amount to lose. Don't let anyone undermine the great path you have been on(especially yourself). There are always going to be trials in our lives that we have no control over,but our own health and choices we do. I really care about you and send you lots of positive thoughts and prayers. My wish for you is that this new week,you will be able to love yourself enough to get back on track. (((hugs)))):flowerforyou:

brenn24179

I lost 40 two yrs ago and started putting back on weight xmas, gained 13 lbs and then got back on track. glad I did. I wanted to also give up but I had been eating my feelings, had to confront someone at work, things got better, had to take care of myself over holidays and quit doing people pleasing, no I dont want ham next year, I want turkey, too bad if others want it!

dawnp1833

I lost 40 two yrs ago and started putting back on weight xmas, gained 13 lbs and then got back on track. glad I did. I wanted to also give up but I had been eating my feelings, had to confront someone at work, things got better, had to take care of myself over holidays and quit doing people pleasing, no I dont want ham next year, I want turkey, too bad if others want it!

Brenn, how did you do it? Where did you get the courage to confront someone at work and quit people pleasing?