Giving birth without your SO there?

ybodwen

Hi ladies
Just wondering if anyone is planning to or has given birth without your SO there.
This might end up being the case for us and I would love some reassurance from others who have been in the same situation.
(I am planning to have a doula so I won't be alone.)

RBXChas

No, my husband was there and, barring any craziness, will be there this time. However, he was not all that helpful. I'm just not the type of person who needs a cheerleader, nor did I want him even touching me (rubbing my back, etc.), so basically he was just in the room. (He even skipped out to go home and take the dogs out - and stop for breakfast at Burger King, which I still pick on him about.) Obviously I wouldn't deprive him of the chance to be present while his baby is born, but honestly I wouldn't notice whether or not he was there because he is just sort of hanging out in the background. (That is, at least, up until I've given birth. After birth is a different story, but leading up to it I'm a bit more focused on getting a baby out of my body.)

I guess how much it matters to you depends on how involved he is/you'd like him to be. Otherwise, it's just the knowledge that he won't be present during his own child's birth. However, it's not that uncommon for that to happen, either due to circumstances (e.g., military) or the fact that some men simply can't handle the stress and will get sick or pass out or whatever.

I hope you find the reassurance you need!

Edited for clarity and grammar

lisapr123

My best friend had baby #1 with her brother and her mom as her support people. Baby #2 was with her sister there and me on the phone (seriously, I called and she said "tell her to hold on, I'll be done in a minute" so I heard the final pushes and we were chatting as she passed the placenta). Baby #3 was with her husband. All were beautiful and went as well as they could.

My point is, as long as we have a support person there it doesn't matter if it's the husband, best friend, etc... I have no doubt my husband will be there but if for some reason he cannot, I'll call one somebody else to help me through the day!

milliman28

I think for me I wanted my husband there, but really he wanted to be there too. If you SO wants to be a part of that moment, I would have a hard time denying him that experience. However, if he is put off by it, or would get overwhelmed by it, then having him in another room may not be a bad idea either. Whatever is right for you and your family is the best choice

ybodwen

Thanks for the responses. He would love to be there as he was for the first 2 but he has to travel for work close to my due date (obviously its a really important thing or he'd skip it in a heartbeat!!)
so we are really hoping an planning for him to be there but there's a chance he won't make it back in time so I'm trying to be as prepared as possible.