Vacation Quandary
Replies
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Actually, I think the "Mom" option is by far the best. Moms are great, and deserve a break now and then. You'll feel good doing her a favor, after all the years of support and unconditional love (assuming you have a "normal" Mom).
And as a side benefit, you'll look like a terrific guy to your co-workers for doing this. The kind of guy who needs a promotion asap. :-)
Win, win.
--P0 -
Why does everyone think that all new girlfriends are crazy, undignified, uncouth embarrassments with little humility or decorum?? :laugh:
Experience? ;-)
Ha! No, seriously, you never know. You never friggin' know. How can you, after a week of dating? Probably never sleeping over? Never together for more than 5-6 hours at a time. But all of a sudden a week? On a boat?
And there's the rub, Ophelia. Because you don't want to suffer the slings and arrows of your co-workers when your "girlfriend" downs five Long Island Ice Teas and begins crotch dancing with Johnson from Accounts Payable. Anyone but Johnson! And then Johnson's psycho wife goes all trailer park on your "girlfriend's" *kitten*. And then things really begin to deteriorate...
--P0 -
Plus (not to beat this dead horse to death), this nicely illustrates the quandary we men face. Although I grant you it's a quandary of our own making (a self inflicted quandary?)....
[Warning: huge generalization ahead]
We men tend to value different traits in a woman differently, depending on the situation. Looks, personality, sultriness, intelligence, etc. vary in importance, given the specific setting. For example, the kind of woman we want for a wild night of debauchery - drink, sex, etc. - is oftentimes different from the kind of woman we want to raise our kids, invest our money, or meet our boss.
Sure, some guys hit the jackpot and get an all-in-one Renaissance woman who manages the household during the day, wows your friends and co-workers with her knowledge of football draft strategies and obscure French literature during the evenings, and then rocks your world at night. Those women do theoretically exist... ;-)
But 9 out of 10 times, we need to make compromises, raking different traits differently, depending on the situation. And in this particular situation, most men would make the wrong ranking. Because, being men, we'd focus first and foremost on the wild sex in exotic locales. And while that is definitely a part of this package, 98% of the time the date will need to interact with co-workers. Ideally fully clothed. And therein lies the real quandary. By focusing on the 2%, we've chosen the wrong woman for the trip.
And there is also some selection bias at work here. The kind of woman that would agree to a week on a boat with you after 1-2 dates max - assuming you've had no interaction with her before this time* - is oftentimes *not* the kind of woman who you want to bring on these outings! The kind of woman you want would probably refuse your invite, claiming you don't know each other well enough, yet...
Or, to put it more succinctly:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=piVnArp9ZE0
--P
*As some ladies here "know" the OP through various posting and interactions, I do think it more reasonable to agree to a vacation with him in this manner. This is not the same as meeting him off the street, never having interacted with him, and one week later finding yourself sharing toiletries off the Turkish coast.0 -
Why does everyone think that all new girlfriends are crazy, undignified, uncouth embarrassments with little humility or decorum?? :laugh:
Experience? ;-)
Ha! No, seriously, you never know. You never friggin' know. How can you, after a week of dating? Probably never sleeping over? Never together for more than 5-6 hours at a time. But all of a sudden a week? On a boat?
And there's the rub, Ophelia. Because you don't want to suffer the slings and arrows of your co-workers when your "girlfriend" downs five Long Island Ice Teas and begins crotch dancing with Johnson from Accounts Payable. Anyone but Johnson! And then Johnson's psycho wife goes all trailer park on your "girlfriend's" *kitten*. And then things really begin to deteriorate...
--P
lol... wish I was Johnson from Accounts Payable!
Seriously tho, experience... No guy wants to be sitting there completly embarrassed of someone they hardly know.0 -
Why does everyone think that all new girlfriends are crazy, undignified, uncouth embarrassments with little humility or decorum?? :laugh:
Experience? ;-)
Ha! No, seriously, you never know. You never friggin' know. How can you, after a week of dating? Probably never sleeping over? Never together for more than 5-6 hours at a time. But all of a sudden a week? On a boat?
And there's the rub, Ophelia. Because you don't want to suffer the slings and arrows of your co-workers when your "girlfriend" downs five Long Island Ice Teas and begins crotch dancing with Johnson from Accounts Payable. Anyone but Johnson! And then Johnson's psycho wife goes all trailer park on your "girlfriend's" *kitten*. And then things really begin to deteriorate...
--P
I think I've been to that party lol.....0 -
And there is also some selection bias at work here. The kind of woman that would agree to a week on a boat with you after 1-2 dates max - assuming you've had no interaction with her before this time* - is oftentimes *not* the kind of woman who you want to bring on these outings! The kind of woman you want would probably refuse your invite, claiming you don't know each other well enough, yet...
not always true.... case in point - me
eta: I wouldn't do it again though!!
What was nice in my case is that it was Vegas and it's easier to spend time alone. We did one afternoon. We also had all his coworkers there and we all got along very well. It was probably one of the best trips I have ever had to Vegas... But I would hold my pee, so I didn' t have to use the washroom in our hotel room HAHA0 -
Thanks for the great advice everyone!
All joking aside, ideally I would have been able to bring a girl that I was interested in romantically and was working on developing a relationship with. Definitely don't need advice on how to pick up a crazy chick who wants to use me, I'm really good at that already, but thanks Janie (why the hate?)
My guest will be a family member. Unless they decline and then who the hell knows. It is a very important trip from a career and business networking perspective, so I am keeping things simple. There's always the chance I'll have some Hollywood moment between now and next week, but I am not banking on that and am looking forward to enjoying the time however it pans out.
Have a great weekend!0 -
Thanks for the great advice everyone!
All joking aside, ideally I would have been able to bring a girl that I was interested in romantically and was working on developing a relationship with. Definitely don't need advice on how to pick up a crazy chick who wants to use me, I'm really good at that already, but thanks Janie (why the hate?)
My guest will be a family member. Unless they decline and then who the hell knows. It is a very important trip from a career and business networking perspective, so I am keeping things simple. There's always the chance I'll have some Hollywood moment between now and next week, but I am not banking on that and am looking forward to enjoying the time however it pans out.
Have a great weekend!
Well that would be one family memeber you can cross off the birthday /christmas present list lol...... Take your mom/grandma/ favorite Auntie....... It will mean alot to them and make you look super awesome to your company0 -
MFW you thought I was joking
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MFW you thought I was joking
I associated that photo with something other than "F" until I googled the acronym. 0 -
Guys inviting a girl to an overnight anything- especially a cruise says "sex" so I can see why someone you just met wouldn't want to go. I can also see why a girl who knows it's going nowhere wouldn't want to go.
What I don't get is why in one post you say whoever comes it's just prostitution and in another say you have no FWBs.as if that's not what you want. So what you're saying is, you want us to tel you how to find some random girl who's crazy enough to go have sex with some guy she doesn't know in exchange for a vacay.
Good luck with that. Any girl who would do it is probably gonna leave you hurting in more ways than one.
I agree with P: points 1-3 match what I've seen too. On the cruises I've been on unless it's a singles cruise, I rarely found single guys and often run into other single girls who didn't realize there would be no unattached men. From what I read, bringing a guy buddy sounds like a good match for you.
I hesitate to recommend a platonic girl friend because, unless I'm reading you wrong, sounds like you intend to get drunk and get some and if she ends up being the one you "get" it might destroy your friendship when she doesn't realize this meant nothing.
I wouldn't. Why do you write that like it's "wrong" to feel that way? Different strokes for different folks. Especially in THIS case... Even if I was ok with having sex outside of marriage, I wouldn't jump at the opportunity to, in his own words, be basically a prostitute.Well, I met a guy, had a 3 day date/relationship, cos we clicked immediately, and if he asked me to go away with him, I'd go!! Actually, I'd jump at the chance. What woman wouldn't??
I get the no drinking thing (even though I wish it weren't that way) because many guys don't want to get involved with a girl who doesn't drink. Could be AA. Could be too prudish. Could be too controlling. Could be they're a party pooper. Could be they're none of those things but that's just what guys assume.
How about taking one of the girls you're flirting with online? Or someone from this (or other fourms) you've at least interacted with for a few months in some format and who would be happy to do something exciting like this? I understand that a lot of people online hate to "get real" but what's the worst that can happen?
I dont even know what you're talking about when you say I make it sound 'wrong' JJ??........:huh:
I was just stating that I would go with the guy I just met because I felt comfortable in his company from the moment I met him. Therefore implying that if Chris meets a woman and they are mutually comfortable together then it would be an option.
And why do you always have to base everything people do in life on sex? Like if sex is 'wrong'?? Nobody was even talking about sex.0 -
As long as I was pretty convinced my safety was in no danger, I would totally go on a trip like that if it was offered. In fact, a friend of a friend went to Bermuda on an important work trip recently and invited me...the only reason I didn't go was timing and I have a boyfriend. He said he thought I would be fun to travel with and knows I pull off the conservative/corporate persona well when required. Lol. But sex doesn't have to be a part of it or an exchange. I think being spontaneous is great!0
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My little brother confirmed. He just graduated college, so it's a cool gift for him.
I'll save the sexin' for coworkers wives and daughters. 0
