A quick poll..........
asusteffie
Posts: 6 Member
Let me preface this by saying I am not looking for advice. I want to know what you would think if it happened to you.
You are meeting a new man for the second time. The first date was great. Easy conversation, laughing and just comfortable. You say your goodbyes. You are now on your second meeting, a quick lunch date that he drove in with to see you. You have a great time and thank him for coming. You lean in for the hug and get a loose lean in type hug with a pat on the back. How would YOU interpret this?
You are meeting a new man for the second time. The first date was great. Easy conversation, laughing and just comfortable. You say your goodbyes. You are now on your second meeting, a quick lunch date that he drove in with to see you. You have a great time and thank him for coming. You lean in for the hug and get a loose lean in type hug with a pat on the back. How would YOU interpret this?
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Maybe him being courteous because it was a work thing? Maybe him being a chicken, maybe a he's not into you...guess it depends on how he contacts you after?0
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I would think he wasn't interested.0
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Who knows,it very well could mean nothing...in this day and age many guys are going to be cautious about physical contact early lest they be accused of something.
Stop over thinking it and see if he asks or better yet accepts when you ask a third meeting.0 -
I think he's just being cautious, day time dates are a bit different sometimes!0
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If I was on a second date that I thought was going great and you leaned in to suggest a hug instead of a kiss, I'd figure you weren't very interested.0
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If I was on a second date that I thought was going great and you leaned in to suggest a hug instead of a kiss, I'd figure you weren't very interested.
I disagree. Some people don't kiss until a few dates in. I think a hug is a good way to say that you like him. However, maybe he thought you were going to kiss him so then he didn't know what to do with his hands.
OP I would wait and see if he asks you out again before you get too worried.0 -
If I was on a second date that I thought was going great and you leaned in to suggest a hug instead of a kiss, I'd figure you weren't very interested.
It was a second meeting but we were also outside of my workplace. I am still seeing the guy and things are good. I am really just taking a poll to see what you would think if you got the loose hug and pat.0 -
or maybe he's not into PDA? In that case, we probably wouldn't be a good fit.0
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Well, my first reaction is that he wasn't interested... BUT then I wondered how date #1 ended? Did it cool off from the first date or stay the same?0
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If I was meeting a man for a second time I would think my life had taken a radically different direction and I'd be afraid I had to start liking Cher and Madonna.0
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Generally I would say there was no interest... but did you also said this was directly outside your workplace?? That is awkward regardless so I don't know what to say here. If you like him, just text him to say thanks and leave an opening for him to write back.0
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Well, my first reaction is that he wasn't interested... BUT then I wondered how date #1 ended? Did it cool off from the first date or stay the same?
The first date ended with him standing a good 10 feet from me in the parking lot of the restaurant and chatting for a couple of minutes. The second ended with the loose hug and pat ; ) And he wonders why I didn't think he liked me.0 -
If I was meeting a man for a second time I would think my life had taken a radically different direction and I'd be afraid I had to start liking Cher and Madonna.
lol thank you I spit coffee on my computer screen cause of you :flowerforyou:0 -
A daytime date is awkward. I'd reserve judgement for the next time I met him, hopefully, in a more of a romantic setting.:flowerforyou:0
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Well, my first reaction is that he wasn't interested... BUT then I wondered how date #1 ended? Did it cool off from the first date or stay the same?
The first date ended with him standing a good 10 feet from me in the parking lot of the restaurant and chatting for a couple of minutes. The second ended with the loose hug and pat ; ) And he wonders why I didn't think he liked me.
Sounds to me like you made PROGRESS! Pretty good considering it was day time in front of work!0 -
Id be confused for sure. Why didn't he kiss me? What's with the pat? But I'd wait to see if he'd call or initiate a 3rd date. Maybe he likes to take things slow...?0
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If I was on a second date that I thought was going great and you leaned in to suggest a hug instead of a kiss, I'd figure you weren't very interested.
It was a second meeting but we were also outside of my workplace. I am still seeing the guy and things are good. I am really just taking a poll to see what you would think if you got the loose hug and pat.
It sounds like he is trying to be careful not to invade your "space".
Let him know that physical contact is desired...touch his arm or shoulder in talking.
In short be willing to give to him what you want,don`t sit there being standoffish waiting to see if he will break the barrier.
If you like him,show him and let the chips fall where they will.
This is where the "lady has to be passive" mindset falls apart because if you are not doing this already (you may have,don`t know) then why one expects a guy to with the possibility of not just rejection but also being called a creep is just a mystery to me.0 -
You woman send a lot of mixed singles... maybe he came on strong with the last girl and it blew up in his face. Lots of possibilities.0
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You woman send a lot of mixed singles... maybe he came on strong with the last girl and it blew up in his face. Lots of possibilities.
THAT sort of thing has been my curse,everything always seems to be one person ahead of the one that likes it.0 -
A daytime date is awkward. I'd reserve judgement for the next time I met him, hopefully, in a more of a romantic setting.:flowerforyou:
Exactly. Whose idea was the day time date?
The only day time date that makes sense is one that is centered around some sort of activity like a walk around a lake, playing tennis, etc. Since you live in Arizona, and it is really hot there, that's probably not what happened.0 -
I would see if he wants to meet a third time. It would be strange to me, but could just be what he's like. If everything else went swell then why not? On that note, I wouldn't be horribly surprised if I got a text later saying "Sorry, just not feeling it".
I guess my answer is "Roll with it."0 -
A daytime date is awkward. I'd reserve judgement for the next time I met him, hopefully, in a more of a romantic setting.:flowerforyou:
Exactly. Whose idea was the day time date?
The only day time date that makes sense is one that is centered around some sort of activity like a walk around a lake, playing tennis, etc. Since you live in Arizona, and it is really hot there, that's probably not what happened.
Our first date was dinner before I went in to work. He works out of town and is only in town for 2 days a week. I was working both of his days off so we met before I headed in to work. I work night shift so it was a dinner date. I sent him a thank you, had a great time text and we chatted via text. I forgot my leftovers at the restaurant and he offered to bring me lunch (1am) at work. He drove in from another town, about 45 minutes, to bring me lunch. It was actually a very sweet gesture and one that I very much appreciated. I wasn't expecting much but thanked him and went to give him a hug. That is when the loose hug and pat occurred. Needless to say I was a bit confused and really not sure if he liked me. All the things he was doing said yes but the hug threw me off.0 -
A daytime date is awkward. I'd reserve judgement for the next time I met him, hopefully, in a more of a romantic setting.:flowerforyou:
Exactly. Whose idea was the day time date?
The only day time date that makes sense is one that is centered around some sort of activity like a walk around a lake, playing tennis, etc. Since you live in Arizona, and it is really hot there, that's probably not what happened.
Our first date was dinner before I went in to work. He works out of town and is only in town for 2 days a week. I was working both of his days off so we met before I headed in to work. I work night shift so it was a dinner date. I sent him a thank you, had a great time text and we chatted via text. I forgot my leftovers at the restaurant and he offered to bring me lunch (1am) at work. He drove in from another town, about 45 minutes, to bring me lunch. It was actually a very sweet gesture and one that I very much appreciated. I wasn't expecting much but thanked him and went to give him a hug. That is when the loose hug and pat occurred. Needless to say I was a bit confused and really not sure if he liked me. All the things he was doing said yes but the hug threw me off.
He is just doing what any guy that isn`t sure where you stand would do.
You think in that situation there was going to be a close hug and maybe a kiss?
As I said before,do not expect more from him then you indicate is okay.
Call him up and talk to him,let him know you like him and for Gods sake stop trying to read a story into a very natural and expected chain of actions.0 -
A daytime date is awkward. I'd reserve judgement for the next time I met him, hopefully, in a more of a romantic setting.:flowerforyou:
Exactly. Whose idea was the day time date?
The only day time date that makes sense is one that is centered around some sort of activity like a walk around a lake, playing tennis, etc. Since you live in Arizona, and it is really hot there, that's probably not what happened.
Our first date was dinner before I went in to work. He works out of town and is only in town for 2 days a week. I was working both of his days off so we met before I headed in to work. I work night shift so it was a dinner date. I sent him a thank you, had a great time text and we chatted via text. I forgot my leftovers at the restaurant and he offered to bring me lunch (1am) at work. He drove in from another town, about 45 minutes, to bring me lunch. It was actually a very sweet gesture and one that I very much appreciated. I wasn't expecting much but thanked him and went to give him a hug. That is when the loose hug and pat occurred. Needless to say I was a bit confused and really not sure if he liked me. All the things he was doing said yes but the hug threw me off.
He is just doing what any guy that isn`t sure where you stand would do.
You think in that situation there was going to be a close hug and maybe a kiss?
As I said before,do not expect more from him then you indicate is okay.
Call him up and talk to him,let him know you like him and for Gods sake stop trying to read a story into a very natural and expected chain of actions.
As I said before, we are still getting to know each other. We text daily and see each other when we can. I was posting this poll in response to a conversation this guy and I had. It has been interesting to read everyone's responses. The women pretty much viewed it as I did and the guys viewed it in a completely different. Thanks for the input ; )0 -
Hugs weird me out. I totally give limp one handed hugs all the time, especially with people I don't know that well. My family and female friends call me out on it all the time. Something about spontaneous physical contact that is not a punch or a kick catches me off guard. I get over it after being with a chick for a while.
Maybe he is crazy like me.
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As I said before, we are still getting to know each other. We text daily and see each other when we can. I was posting this poll in response to a conversation this guy and I had. It has been interesting to read everyone's responses. The women pretty much viewed it as I did and the guys viewed it in a completely different. Thanks for the input ; )
Largely I think because women frame it in the light of the fantasy they wish for rather then the realities of day to day life.
That is not in any way intended to be an insult so please no one take it that way...just how the different genders tend to often view things.0 -
As I said before, we are still getting to know each other. We text daily and see each other when we can. I was posting this poll in response to a conversation this guy and I had. It has been interesting to read everyone's responses. The women pretty much viewed it as I did and the guys viewed it in a completely different. Thanks for the input ; )
Largely I think because women frame it in the light of the fantasy they wish for rather then the realities of day to day life.
That is not in any way intended to be an insult so please no one take it that way...just how the different genders tend to often view things.
Not taking it as an insult.
But the reason we tend to think the way we do is because men condition us to do so.
If 9 out of 10 men that I've dated kiss/hug me at the end of the date, then the 1 man who didn't try must not be interested. On the other hand, that's how my first husband won my heart many moons ago. I was so used to being attacked and malled by guys that when he presented himself as a gentleman who actually cared about what I wanted and needed, he won me over.
So... yeah... we women are very confusing creatures... I admit...
:flowerforyou:0 -
Hugs weird me out. I totally give limp one handed hugs all the time, especially with people I don't know that well. My family and female friends call me out on it all the time. Something about spontaneous physical contact that is not a punch or a kick catches me off guard. I get over it after being with a chick for a while.
Maybe he is crazy like me.
I am sort of the same way.0 -
I wouldn't drive 45mins to give a girl I didn't like "lunch " at 1am at night. He likes you for sure. I also wouldn't give out a lame hug but some guys are different.0
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Girls are ridiculous, but hilarious at the same time.
As I said before, we are still getting to know each other. We text daily and see each other when we can.
He is just doing what any guy that isn`t sure where you stand would do.He drove in from another town, about 45 minutes, to bring me lunch. It was actually a very sweet gesture and one that I very much appreciated. I wasn't expecting much but thanked him and went to give him a hug. That is when the loose hug and pat occurred. Needless to say I was a bit confused and really not sure if he liked me. All the things he was doing said yes but the hug threw me off.
You think in that situation there was going to be a close hug and maybe a kiss?
As I said before,do not expect more from him then you indicate is okay.
Call him up and talk to him,let him know you like him and for Gods sake stop trying to read a story into a very natural and expected chain of actions.
Anyway, just found someone posted a topic in another forum:
"I drove 45 *kitten* minutes to bring the lunch to a woman who I quite like, but as she was going to thank me, she only leaned forward in order to give me a hug... What do you guys think? Does she like me? I just gave her a hug in return, but I must say I was a bit disappointed at her mild reaction."
Or in one sentence: I agree with Carl.
PS: and men, just grope the women you like... If she likes you, she'll be OK with that anyway. Word.0
