It's just a title. Boyfriend. Why not call it like it is?

I, personally, think the man in question *IS* calling it like it is. It’s a situation where the young lady feels so insecure about herself that she is willing to put up with a relationship that is not meeting her needs because the guy is hot and being his public girlfriend will make her feel better about herself. OP if I’m wrong, please correct me- and know that all this is being said with love and best wishes for you.

This, IMHO, is a big problem in relationships: One person wants to be in a committed relationship, but does not think s/he is worthy of it, so s/he grasps for any little thing that even pretends to be “a relationship” and then feels even worse when the person s/he’s been with for months (or even years) dumps him/her and suddenly marries “the one.”

Nowhere in the course of this thread is it publicly shared what the relationship of the OP is like.

As far as all the people saying "Labels are nothing" it's is cute and all, and I get that it's a big thing now to reject labeling and whatnot, but it's not very practical. When you talk about him or introduce him to someone what are you supposed to say?

During an introduction, something like “This is Tom.” can be said. The specifics of the relationship are no one’s business.

Until someone says, "Oh, hi, Tom, are you Jane's boyfriend?"

That question can be answered simply. Tom can say that they've got a great relationship that works well for both of them. As long as it is said with confidence and certainty, no one is going to ask follow up questions.

Even with strangers it's a simple way to say "I know this guys great looking but he's not on the market" without having to be possessive. Titles and labels serve a purpose in society, they express meaning. It's "Dr. ____" not "Person who spent ten years in school to learn medicine ____" which is a distinguishing factor from "Random person on the street that may or may not be able to cure diseases".

On top of that labels will exist whether we want them to or not. They condense what could be otherwise complicated situations into one easy to say and comprehend form. Labels are not chains of bondage, they are clear simple communication. What's to hate?

I do not discount labels at all. I like them in my own personal life, but it is usually clear in my behavior and communication. The OP's relationship has taken on a different tone than I usually like to have in my own. There's an art to the define the relationship kind of chat. One doesn't want to interrupt the flow of a good thing, but uncertainty can be a bad thing is one allows it to be a bad thing. I don't envy the mindset of the OP at all.

I, personally, think the man in question *IS* calling it like it is. It’s a situation where the young lady feels so insecure about herself that she is willing to put up with a relationship that is not meeting her needs because the guy is hot and being his public girlfriend will make her feel better about herself. OP if I’m wrong, please correct me- and know that all this is being said with love and best wishes for you.

This, IMHO, is a big problem in relationships: One person wants to be in a committed relationship, but does not think s/he is worthy of it, so s/he grasps for any little thing that even pretends to be “a relationship” and then feels even worse when the person s/he’s been with for months (or even years) dumps him/her and suddenly marries “the one.”

I feel like its different of what we have vs being in a relationship because he knows that hes not "demanded" to do anything like come over to my apartment when Im not feeling well and I cant call him freaking out at him about something because thats over stepping I feel it

I understand it's a process but honey, fake it till you make it. There's a difference between humility and low-self esteem.