7-30-2012 Monday's Mad Hatters Chatter
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Snooozie
Posts: 3,447 Member
Good morning Mad Hatters!
It’s another new day, a new week, and a good time to remind ourselves why we’re all here.. we’re all working on making wonderful changes… to our lifestyles.. changing ourselves, physically and mentally, into who we WANT to be. Maybe it’s time to also let go of whatever way we’ve each always seen ourselves.. (in my case.. I’ve always seen myself as “the fat chick”. That’s always been who I am to me.
“ When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be”.
I saw that quote over the weekend while I was trying to find an answer to why I’ve always failed at trying to lose weight so many times over the past 30 years. I know I feel differently this time; I really do.. the “d” word will never pass my lips again… and I know that I CAN change my lifestyle and get healthy.. but I started to wonder why I’ve never been able to actually do it before…and I discovered what I guess I really already knew…
deep down…(here goes… I can’t believe I’m putting this out there on the world wide web..) I’m afraid. Yep. I’ve never admitted it, but I’ve always been afraid of losing the weight, and I think I’m beginning to realize .. that’s one of the reasons I have never succeeeded before – because of fear.
I have to become a new “me”. And that scares the crap outta me. My “fat shield” has always protected me, it’s the scapegoat I can blame for all my insecurities, and anything that didn’t work out the way I wanted it to. And if I take it way, I’ll only have myself left to blame for anything and everything. And I’ll have to find some other ways to handle my stress and emotions rather than turning to food. And all THAT scares the heck outta me. So I think maybe that’s why I’ve always sabotaged myself before; I’d lose 5 or 10 or 20 or 30 pounds.. then whammo. I’d find some excuse to fall “off the wagon” and in no time at all, it was all back (plus more.. what’s with THAT?? WHY do we always gain MORE?) and I did that whole cycle.. many times. Because I was really afraid.
But I’m tired of being afraid. And I don’t want it to happen this time.. So.. how do I get past my fears? Because I don’t want fear to keep me from getting thin; from living longer and being able to do all the things I want to do now, or to keep me from enjoying my life now as a healthy, happy person. I don’t. But I’m still afraid.
Logically I know fear is a normal part of any major life change. But I can’t let my fear keep me overweight and tired, and just unhappy being fat. Not this time. Because this time, I don’t just “have” to change, this time I WANT to.
One of the things I read about fears said “Whatever your fear, take a look at it. It is JUST A THOUGHT! An idea in your mind. It’s not real. By allowing it to be silent, you give it power over you. The mind and body works hard to maintain equilibrium. It likes the status quo. FEAR’S job is to cause you to FREEZE and STAY PUT. NAME IT and you can then CHOOSE whether you want to allow it or if there are other thoughts that would better serve you. Fear is always there; it is a question of what you are willing to do about it.”
Well.. I have nothing to lose. I’ve been frozen and staying put for over 30 years. So today, ladies..in the safety of the Hatters room.. I’m naming my fear:
I’m afraid of losing this weight, and I’m afraid of all the changes if Ido lose it..
Ok, I've named my fear. And starting today, I am just going to push past it. Every single day I will remind myself that I deserve to be slender and healthy, and enjoy my life, because I AM worth it! And I will not let fear rule me anymore.
Thanks for listening… and no worries, replies aren’t needed – I just wanted to finally say it out loud, in the hope that it will help me on my journey to a better me.
Hope all the Hatters have a wonderful day; be kind to yourselves, be proud of yourselves, and remember what strong and amazing women we are!
look forward to catching up when I get home (I may have to save some calories for a glass of wine tonite tho, cause after my week off, and not being able to see the puter all that well, and all the big bosses back from vacation (they couldn’t have stayed away one more week to give me time to catch up on everything?? Grrr) I suspect I’m gonna need a drink when I get home!
It’s another new day, a new week, and a good time to remind ourselves why we’re all here.. we’re all working on making wonderful changes… to our lifestyles.. changing ourselves, physically and mentally, into who we WANT to be. Maybe it’s time to also let go of whatever way we’ve each always seen ourselves.. (in my case.. I’ve always seen myself as “the fat chick”. That’s always been who I am to me.
“ When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be”.
I saw that quote over the weekend while I was trying to find an answer to why I’ve always failed at trying to lose weight so many times over the past 30 years. I know I feel differently this time; I really do.. the “d” word will never pass my lips again… and I know that I CAN change my lifestyle and get healthy.. but I started to wonder why I’ve never been able to actually do it before…and I discovered what I guess I really already knew…
deep down…(here goes… I can’t believe I’m putting this out there on the world wide web..) I’m afraid. Yep. I’ve never admitted it, but I’ve always been afraid of losing the weight, and I think I’m beginning to realize .. that’s one of the reasons I have never succeeeded before – because of fear.
I have to become a new “me”. And that scares the crap outta me. My “fat shield” has always protected me, it’s the scapegoat I can blame for all my insecurities, and anything that didn’t work out the way I wanted it to. And if I take it way, I’ll only have myself left to blame for anything and everything. And I’ll have to find some other ways to handle my stress and emotions rather than turning to food. And all THAT scares the heck outta me. So I think maybe that’s why I’ve always sabotaged myself before; I’d lose 5 or 10 or 20 or 30 pounds.. then whammo. I’d find some excuse to fall “off the wagon” and in no time at all, it was all back (plus more.. what’s with THAT?? WHY do we always gain MORE?) and I did that whole cycle.. many times. Because I was really afraid.
But I’m tired of being afraid. And I don’t want it to happen this time.. So.. how do I get past my fears? Because I don’t want fear to keep me from getting thin; from living longer and being able to do all the things I want to do now, or to keep me from enjoying my life now as a healthy, happy person. I don’t. But I’m still afraid.
Logically I know fear is a normal part of any major life change. But I can’t let my fear keep me overweight and tired, and just unhappy being fat. Not this time. Because this time, I don’t just “have” to change, this time I WANT to.
One of the things I read about fears said “Whatever your fear, take a look at it. It is JUST A THOUGHT! An idea in your mind. It’s not real. By allowing it to be silent, you give it power over you. The mind and body works hard to maintain equilibrium. It likes the status quo. FEAR’S job is to cause you to FREEZE and STAY PUT. NAME IT and you can then CHOOSE whether you want to allow it or if there are other thoughts that would better serve you. Fear is always there; it is a question of what you are willing to do about it.”
Well.. I have nothing to lose. I’ve been frozen and staying put for over 30 years. So today, ladies..in the safety of the Hatters room.. I’m naming my fear:
I’m afraid of losing this weight, and I’m afraid of all the changes if Ido lose it..
Ok, I've named my fear. And starting today, I am just going to push past it. Every single day I will remind myself that I deserve to be slender and healthy, and enjoy my life, because I AM worth it! And I will not let fear rule me anymore.
Thanks for listening… and no worries, replies aren’t needed – I just wanted to finally say it out loud, in the hope that it will help me on my journey to a better me.
Hope all the Hatters have a wonderful day; be kind to yourselves, be proud of yourselves, and remember what strong and amazing women we are!
look forward to catching up when I get home (I may have to save some calories for a glass of wine tonite tho, cause after my week off, and not being able to see the puter all that well, and all the big bosses back from vacation (they couldn’t have stayed away one more week to give me time to catch up on everything?? Grrr) I suspect I’m gonna need a drink when I get home!
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Well said Snoozie.
I know for myself, it has been a roller coaster ride of up and downs, gains and losses. I have used food as a crutch for so long. It has seen me through problems in my childhood, as a young adult and even now as an "OLDER" adult. It has been my friend, always loving me no matter how much I screwed up in life. I could sit down with a 1/2 gallon of ice cream and a spoon and tell it my troubles with not a care that my secrets would be told.
I think I have finally come to the conclusion that food can be treacherous just like the friend who talks behind your back. Those types of people I just smile and nod, but never give them ammunition to use against me.
I am learning to treat food the same way. It is after all not the solution to my problem, it is the problem. Learning to eat because I need to fuel my body and not because I have a problem is where I am today.
Someday's are better than others, but just like you said about naming your fear, I have to face the reality and not dive into the ice cream.
Thanks for sharing and together we can conquer all of our fears!:flowerforyou:0 -
The fears have been holding me back form so much in my life.
Late for work, after refusing to budge down 4 lbs! Hope to have time later, if not have a week full of healthy choices and fear blasting JOY, Janet0 -
Snooozie, I'm right there with you, I couldn't have said it better. another one I'm copying to read over and over, cause you are speaking my fear.0
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I too fear the weight loss, I wrote in my blog that my fear is also of the success of losing weight, what then? I feel this time is different for me as well and it is because I to am really facing myself and my fears and my inability to trust myself and my own decisions. I wrote about that on my blog as well. Each day that I get up and walk, and make a healthier choice I do believe a little more in my own ability to keep going and to sustain. See one off my biggest fears is what if I reach my goals and then cannot stay there? I have to realize that my success comes in the small minute by minute decisions I make each day. When I stopped looking at the overall picture of FEAR and look instead at what I can do, right now , in this moment , I gain confidence.0
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Can I just say, you guys are absolutely amazing, and I feel privileged and thankful that you have become part of my life.
Snooozie, you continue to inspire me, and I am amazed at your insight and your openness. I believe you WILL do it this time, and we will be on this road with you. When people talk about being fat to "protect" you, I always assumed they were talking about it in physical way...meaning I'm fat because I don't like the attention I get when I'm thinner and more attractive. It NEVER occurred to me that they were talking about as Snooozie so perfectly put it "a scapegoat for all my insecurities". Wow, so beautifully put.
I now realize how much of my life I spent wishing to be be thinner, planning to be thinner, thinking about being thinner and blaming all of my unhappiness on not being thinner. It sounds stupid to anyone who hasn't been there, and I wish I understood why I put so much "weight" into that one aspect of me, when there is so much more...and the reality is, the people in my life really don't care how much I weigh (except for my husband who says I'm miserable when I'm fat). But, it is what it is, and at least at this point, I'm trying to take some responsibility for how what I put in my mouth affects me.
Which takes me to my next thought which Tonya said so well. OMG, I love your friend/food metaphor!! You are absolutely right, and I never thought of it that way!
I remember seeing an Oprah episode years ago where she was talking about emotional eating...at the time I thought "I don't do that, I just love to eat". Well, clearly I was in denial, because truly, when the going gets tough that is what I want to do! And just the thought of doing it calms me down (which sounds so pathetic). Learning how to NOT do this is incredibly challenging for me.
This week had been really HARD for me so far. I realize how much of my success is based on "routine". I eat the same things, have an exercise schedule, do my MFP thing, etc. Now I'm away, I've packed all this wonderful (and not so wonderful, but deliciously bad for you) foods for my family...because it's "tradition" to bring pistachios and danish, and guacamole and on and on. As I've said many many times, they don't understand how I struggle. Now I'm in this condo for the week, where there isn't a lot to keep me busy a lot of the foods I love that I don't normally have in the house, and although last year I was chastised by my husband for not being in good shape when we hiked "you better be in better shape next year" (a**hole), it is HIM who is now huffing and puffing, and my 19 year old daughter who is complaining about everything from the bugs to her feet that made our hike yesterday not very fun (for me anyway).
And all I want to do is exercise outdoors in beautiful Vermont, and because we're not doing an strenuous hike today, I now need to get motivated to go down to the gym and slog away on the treadmill or elliptical for an hour to make sure I burn some calories. Which makes me very crabby.
So I'm miserable when I'm fat, crabby when I'm not...life with me is surely a picnic!
Thanks again for just being here...you're almost as good a chips and guacamole
-Melissa0 -
My weight loss lack of success has not been fear but BOREDOM. I not working and live in the middle of nowhere (it takes at least 30 mins to get to anything) It is a nice neighborhood to walk and I have been doing that. But I find that if I am not moving, I don't lose. And some days I can't, my arthritic knees dictate my days and how long I walk when I do go out. I try not to sit in front of the computer all day.
My husband is semi retired and on his days off we go out (and sometime out to eat and that doesn't help). He tries to be sensitive to my trying and he will ask me if I have enough calories left to cover an ice cream (my big weakness). Sometimes I lie but I try to not eat it maybe only once a week.
But my biggest issue is the boredom, and then I rummage and it is just to have something in my mouth (I chew a lot of sugarless gum). But if I am busy, I don't think about food.0 -
It is a new week my friends....and I am thankful for that. I need to get my ars back to moving. Having my daughter and grandkids living with me has been my "excuse" for not getting my excercise in. Too busy, too late....need to fix dinner, need to go shopping....
Starting today...NO EXCUSES!
Great posts today EVERYONE!
HUGZz
Kimberly0 -
I want to say what an amazing group of women we are !!! The support of this group is beyond anything I could have ever hoped for.
I sent Snoozie a private message, but I wanted to say here that I am so very proud of her. It takes so much courage to not only confront our fears head on but to put those fears in words and public is an amazing feat.
The closeness of the group and knowing there will be no judgement is what is going to get us through and to our goals.
I am so excited to see where this next year is going to take each of us on our journey.
Everyone have a wonderful day and push through YOU CAN DO THIS !!!0 -
me too - emotional / boredom eater.....0
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Snoozie, you are an incredible leader for us! You are very brave to put it all out there. Hopefully it puts everything in perspective. It did for me! Fear is just a word. Or a thought. We can and will be stronger than the word and/or the thought. We are the Mad Hatters! WE CAN DO THIS! We need to confront and then keep right on going past to becoming better, stronger, healthier women! This is not a temporary journey. It is a lifetime of health and happiness. We need to just take it one step at a time. One day at a time. One meal at a time. It feels so good!!!0
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Hello gentle friends,
You are all so wonderful and gentle with one another. I agree with all of the above. I have to remind myself that I am "Under Construction". Day by day, minute by minute, meal by meal.
Snoozie, you are not changing who you are, but making who you are even better! God knows , and so do we, that you are wonderful just the way you are. You are "Under Construction" . Have a beautiful day and don't forget your Hard Hats for those falling rocks, or whatever you wanna call those donuts! Linda0 -
Hi
Last fall I was talking with my son Matt about looking for a dentist. I have a great fear of them. Any way my son said he would go with me to the dentist. I knew at that time that I was going to need a lot of dental work done. Why’ll I was looking for a dentist. My son was killed in a car accident. At that point I was ready to give up completely on having any dental work do. Over the next month I kept thing of my promise to him that I would have the dental work done. I’ve always tried to teach my kids that if you make a promise to someone that you do everything in your power to keep that promise. Well it felt like I was breaking my promise to him. So after talking with my daughter & hubby I made new promise to them that I would have the dental work done. So December we started down the long road to have the dental work done.
In December I had my yearly check up, & in January I was told that I’m now T2 diabetic need to make more change in my life because of that. Such as get My A1c down from 6.7 into the normal range & that I need to get my weight down to at least 140 to 145. I remember getting the news & my hubby & daughter where more afraid than I was. But I know that fear of the unknown has & can hold me back. So I try very hard not to let the fear take a hold of me or my life.0 -
So sorry to hear of your loss Fishbarn. I am sure Matt will be with you wherever you go, especially the dentist. You can take all of us with you next time you go , and before you go ,if you need a boost of courage. I think what you have gone through, you found courage you never knew you had. Most of us have it when we need it. Especially women.
I was doing some looking today in another group called Eat More to Weigh Less. Lots of good info there and a great website with a wealth of information for weight loss. www.scoobysworshop.com0 -
Fishbarn, You have been through the one biggest greatest fear, congratulations for facing it and sticking to your promise to your son. Your hubby and daughter have also been through a terrible loss and they are now fearful of losing you. You are AMAZING in your efforts that will quell their fear and enable you to be there to share their future.
Congrats for getting to onederland and staying focused on your goals. I look forward to the day when I will meet you there.
May your future be filled with health and joy, Janet0 -
I'm back! We went through two tornadoes in a month and had a lot of damage to our house and yard. We've been dealing with tree contractors and roofers - we had the roof repaired from the first event on a Wed. and had more damage on Friday the same week. We have an inside contractor and an outside contractor. We had a two-week beach vacation planned and paid for and decided to go. It was a great idea, as it turns out. We came home last night. We're ready to handle whatever's left to do. The tree guys were here while we were gone and removed six HUGE Tulip Poplar trees - over 100ft. tall. Hopefully we'll be safe for awhile. The living room ceiling was removed and re-done. It's ready to paint. We'll get there. I didn't track on vacation - WIFI problems. I'm going to wait a week before weighing in. I didn't give up. I didn't say I'd get back to it later. I made good choices and walked every day. It really is a lifestyle choice even through a disaster or two.0
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Evening all. Snooozie, what an opening post, so much insight & thank you for sharing. It has me really thinking today about emotional eating & what are we really satisfying. What could be as gratifying and a healthy alternative? Well I have one idea :blushing: :blushing: :blushing: No but really, I am going to give this some more thought.
Kobie & Fishbarn. I can not imagine what you both have been thru with the loss of a son and 2 tornadoes. It would certainly be enough to stress me. I will say a special prayer for you both.
Let it be known all my Hatter friends are allways in my thoughts & I feel you truely are my friends. Friends are non judgemental & allways there when you need them. In the few weeks we have been on this journey I can not believe how much support I have seen you give each other in good times & bad. What an incredible group you are. I am proud to be part of this & thank you to every one of you.
Kathy0 -
Morning Mad Hatters!!
I got up a little early just so I could catch up on the posts and say good morning, but the stoopid puter gave me grief.. was so slowww I finally had to reboot.. maybe I should have poured a cup of coffee on the keyboard to wake it up… grrr.. so I’m a little short on time but just wanted to say ty to everyone for your awesome posts.. it honestly helps to know you are not alone with some of your deepest, darkest fears about a lifetime of carrying this excess weight (for me). Im not sure whether it’s the realization that perhaps I’m not crazy after all (the jury may still be out on that one LOL) or just being able to say it out loud… anyway obviously I absolutely loved reading everyone’s posts… my heart goes out to those who have endured losses and painful childhoods; it is truly inspiring to see how strong women are; not that I haven’t always known it.. but its awesome to hear proof from you ladies.. that no matter what life throws at us.. it won’t defeat us, it makes us even stronger..
Wish I had time to comment on everyone’s posts… there so much I want to say (there’s a shock, eh?) but have my checkup with the eye doc b4 work and won’t be able to access MFP til I get home tonite.. but for sure I will be typing my little heart out in response to all you lovely hatters.. thank you so much for sharing..and listening… !!
Have a fabulous day today ladies… and remember your IPOMs!! Small changes.. every day.. progress, not perfection… and we can ROCK this journey together!!
My IPOM for yesterday: kept my cholesterol intake down!
Goal for today: chug the waterrrrrrrr!
I just relaized this is the last day of July!!! and LOOK how far we've all come just in a couple of weeks.. and where we're gonna BE in a couple more!! WOO HOOOOOO!!0 -
K typing like mad here so excuse typos pls
Tonya: hit the nail, baby.. food has always been my friend who never deserted me or judged me! Loving that we have to banish it as such and instead simply see it as fuel to move ourselves!
HSR?? Did I read that right? You’re down 4 LBS???? doing the snoopy happy feet dance .. omg how awesome!! IPOUUUUUUU!
T2: Miss you!! Hope all is well in your world and you’re not crazy busy and get a little time for YOU! Hugs!
W6s: forest, not the trees concept.. love it! Way to face your biggest hurdles too!
Merobi: now realize just how hard this week is being on you after your post.. you are doing awesome = truly… more later but for now just a big hug!
KLB boredom I can totally relate to.. I actually went and got a part time job because I was sitting at home on my days off bored… and eating!!
Abbe: I suspect you needed that time to get use dto the wonderful change of having the family with you now… so kudos for taking what ya needed and still making sure you’re doing whats good for YOU! IPOU
Crud I am SO LATE .. can’t finish but tonite I promise!!0 -
Good Morning Mad Hatters!
Once again when I set the alarm for 5:20am, I knew that turning off the alarm would not be an option because I would hear all of you telling me to get up and go to Body Pump, thanks. I made it to my 3rd class.Since I don't do measurements, I have decided to post Pics on an irregular basis. Today I memorialized the first week of Body Pump, so I could see my progress.You will know I am in a very happy place when I am sleeveless in a picture!
Now I interrupt this session for an un-commercial. I have been recording Olympic tennis on Bravo and having my own fast forward highlight show each night. Am I the only one who gets angry every time I hear that Coke is the official drink and McDonalds is the official restaurant of the Olympics? If we all swam as much as Michael Phelps or weight lifted 500 lbs we would need those calories. But the theme of the Olympics is Inspire a Generation, do millions of kids need to see Olympic athletes drinking Coke? I haven't been so upset about a sponsorship since Virginia Slims sponsored the first women's tennis tour-does anyone remember "You've come a long way, baby"? That slogan was from 1972, the year of Title IX, we have all come a long way, just getting snippets of your life stories, I see that so many of us have faced big challenges in our lives and now we are all here, working to be healthy for the challenges that are ahead of us. We are strong, we are invincible, we are Mad Hatters!0 -
Okay, I am sitting here reading all of these replies with tears in my eyes. Even though I am beyond menopause and had some reservations about joing this group ( lurked for the first few days) :blushing: I am so happy to be a part of this wonderful, kind, caring group. For 206 days I have been on MFP. I have 2 friends who are not a part of this group that get me. Now as part of this group I feel that each of you understand or at least have some idea about what it is like to be me.
Hair: IPOU for the body pump and I totally understand the sponsership thing. Today's society is all about how can we get people to buy_______!
Kobie, glad you are back and so very sorry for your troubles. Tornados can be such a pain in the butt to deal with, wind, water, and lightening damage. My home town was virtually destroyed last year and they are still in recovery mode. Here's hoping things are better soon for you.
Fishbarn. my heart goes out to you on the loss of your son Matt. I can't imagine the heartache you must feel. I have lost a parent so I know the ache does get better as time goes by. Each day is a day that we can make our loved one proud of the person that we are.
Snoozie, What can I say...You inspire me and make me laugh. I hope you got all your coffee grounds up.
T2- miss you
To everyone else that I missed, thank you so much for being part of this group and meking me feel so at HOME.....:flowerforyou:0
