lost weight - lost friends?
ragslittle
Posts: 176 Member
So i have lost a significant amount of weight and although I haven't really lost friends my relationships have changed. When i was one of the "Fat Girls" - and I do consider myself still a fat girl and probably always will. We would go out and eat, have a great time and talk about dieting and losing weight while eating nachos and brownie bites - (you know what I mean - don't pretend you don't 
). So now I still see these friends but NOTHING is mentioned about weight loss and I even feel uncomfortable about talking about my surgery or journey. I was happy to begin with and would talk, talk, talk, but now I refuse to mention it even feel a little embarrassed when someone gives me a compliment in front of them. I know I shouldn't feel like that and shouldn't be ashamed of my accomplishments, but I do when I am with them...I just feel bad that they can't or aren't willing to take the journey with me...not necessarily surgery, but any weight loss method at all . Am I the only one?????
). So now I still see these friends but NOTHING is mentioned about weight loss and I even feel uncomfortable about talking about my surgery or journey. I was happy to begin with and would talk, talk, talk, but now I refuse to mention it even feel a little embarrassed when someone gives me a compliment in front of them. I know I shouldn't feel like that and shouldn't be ashamed of my accomplishments, but I do when I am with them...I just feel bad that they can't or aren't willing to take the journey with me...not necessarily surgery, but any weight loss method at all . Am I the only one????? 0
Replies
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Yes I experienced something like that also. She wasn't a friend but a co-worker although we had gotten pretty close at work. We were always trying to lose weight together but never succeeded much more than a few pounds. After I started losing a lot of weight she got very unfriendly toward me and basically stopped even speaking to me. I had always been extremely more overweight than her and now I was thinner than her and receiving a ton of compliments from other co-workers and customers. At one point she told me that I needed to stop losing weight because people were talking about me saying how bad I looked because I had lost to much weight. Which wasn't true at all. I was about a size 12 and being 5"8" about 155 lbs was not to thin. I heard from other people she was saying mean and snarky things about me. I transferred to another department to work and was so glad I didn't have to see her again.0
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I have this issue with people wanting to invite me out for drinks anymore. I'm now the party pooper because I'll have a cosmo and drink water or "mockjito" the rest of the night.0
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Stay encourage because your doing an awesome job!!!I had some of the same issues...I just changed up my circle some...I did not get rid of them completely but I need people around with the same mind set....Good Luck!!!!0
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As long as they aren't talking bad about you or trying to sabotage your goals then I don't see the problem with avoiding the weight talk for now. Its nice to have friends with the same goals as you but it is also nice to have the friends you have known for years. They might get a little scared of you for a while but they will get used to the new you and love the new you if they are true friends. My sisters (1 heavy and 2 very thin) are the ones that seemed to have the hardest time with my changes. But now 3 years out they are used to me and even come to me for nutrition and workout advice even though thier goals are different than mine.0
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Wow, look at you go... you are almost at your goal weight, Congratulations.
As for your friends, a big part of your relationship with these people was food centred and though you are still joining them, your food choices have changed and they may well be a little bit jealous. If they are good friends, ride the wave with them, and they will come around. If someone compliments you while you are with them, just say thank you.
Finally, remember, this is YOUR journey, and you started this journey for some very specific reasons. Your friends are following their journey, and it may not include a huge weightloss, and certainly they are not ready to hear all about your surgery and your challenges while watching you whittle away your weight, it is not a journey for everyone!
If you need affirmations, drop in on an old friend that you don't see much lately, who will be very supportive of your weightloss! (I drop in on people I used to work with when I need to "feel" the love). That can give you the boost your spirit requires, and you can bask unabashedly in their positive attention for a while!0
