Non-Paleo/Primal Partner

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Talialala
Talialala Posts: 40 Member
Hey Guys, this may have been posted in the past, but I didnt bother looking past page 11 :)

Does anyone out there have a non paleo/primal partner? How do you manage both lifestyles? I'm struggling with self control. I make my boyfriend rice and I eat it. Or toast with PB on it and I TAKE LIKE TWO BITES!!

Is this just an internal struggle that I have to get over? If so, did anyone have this struggle as well and what got you through it? I need ideas to motivate me :)

I'd appreciate anything :)

Replies

  • MikeFlyMike
    MikeFlyMike Posts: 639 Member
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    here here!
    I was paleo for 3 months while the s.o. was on an extended road trip.
    She came back to me 30 lbs lighter and confused how I could possibly give up grain.

    For several weeks we actually had arguments because I wouldn't eat pizza or I ate too much steak.

    we did transition into her respecting my dietary needs without impacting her too much. (At first she felt my not eating something as judging her eating - funny how relationships work).

    I never offer "advice"... or comment on the stuff she is eating unless asked.

    It was especially tough when cooking at home. I just started only eating what fit my lifestyle - then if that wasn't enough food, I'd cook some eggs.

    She did go no grain for about a month but didn't make the jump to no sugars and good oils. We have successfully gotten rid of all sodas, chips, bread, cookies etc. I did get in trouble because she wanted to make something that actually called for vegetable oil. I had thrown it all away (even if I was going to eat it, it was old and had oxidized). I refused to eat what she made and boy was she pissed ;) we got through it and she just knows I won't eat it.

    We still do a protein and a veggie for dinner... and she might also cook some corn,rice, beans - and I go without.

    It definitely is an internal struggle - and also one you have to carefully negotiate with your partner. He has to respect your lifestyle (im sure he does) - and know that he can do whatever he wants (even though you might prefer him to eat like you).

    I went and bought several paleo cookbooks and started doing the cooking and making awesome meals - that helped also.
  • beckkotsch
    beckkotsch Posts: 482 Member
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    I'm the only one in my house who eats this way:) I'm slowly trying to wean my kids off of grains/wheat though....and hopefully dairy and sugar eventually too. My husband thinks I'm crazy, I'm sure. I've been eating mostly primal since the end of May and I'm doing my first Whole30 this month. I'm hoping he'll see how good I feel/look and want to come aboard soon:)

    I do 95% of our grocery shopping/cooking so he has to eat what I buy/cook. Haha! He has requested pasta or rice occasionally and I'll make it for him but I rarely feel the need to eat it (except a couple of times when I fell completely off the wagon!) I think theres just a point you get to eventually where it doesn't even sound appetizing. At least that's how it as for me.

    I think the part that sucks for me is spending $$ on foods I don't even eat. If we all ate this way, I'd have more money to buy more/better paleo foods! Haha:)
  • Talialala
    Talialala Posts: 40 Member
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    Thank you both for your honest responses :)I really appreicate it!

    I need to be more stern with myself. I am alright with cooking something special for him, and something paleo for myself and my son. I just let my food addiction get to my and win, by eating whateve rhe is nibbling.

    I agree that we loose interest in specific foods! I don't even WANT to look at pasta! Bread I usually am really good but the smell of that toast one morning got me.

    I'll be more stern on myself :) I shouldn't use my boyfriend as an excuse to cheat.

    Thank you both so much! :)
  • GnaBean
    GnaBean Posts: 112 Member
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    http://paleononpaleo.com/27-ways-live-non-paleo-spouse/

    Good article. 27 ways to live with your non-paleo spouse. Good blog in general!
  • tsavisky
    tsavisky Posts: 78 Member
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    I feel your pain! It was so difficult when my bf wasn't on board, supportive, but not really into totally cutting out all the crap. So I would also fall off the wagon every weekend. When I decided to do the Whole30 I just explained what I was doing and that I would not be buying or cooking anything that was not in line with the Whole30, he could eat whatever he wanted out of the house. And that it wasn't nice to bring stuff home that would sabotage my success. He totally got it! And I didn't think he was going to join me, but then he started asking me what he could and couldn't have. I make us breakfast, pack our lunch, we meet up and have lunch together, and then we usually make dinner together. As long as there is enough delicious stuff to fill him up, he's good. I know, I know, I'm lucky!
  • ichorica
    ichorica Posts: 475 Member
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    I'm the only one eating this way. My family eats grains, but I make the same basic meals for all of us I just dont eat the rice or whatever. We eat a organic diet anyways so nothing really has changed as far as what I buy. My hubby is supportive but he doesn't argue with this way of eating so we do "discuss." I surprised myself this morning I had a tiny bit of Chocolate Peanut Butter on my finger (from son's sandwich) and I raised it to my lips for a second not really realizing it but quickly wiped it away on a towel. It gets easier you just have to stay focused on your goal and why you are eating this way!
  • SweetxCatastrophe
    SweetxCatastrophe Posts: 593 Member
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    My husband continues to eat grains, but hes wanting them less and less. At first he would want pasta or rice, but now if I ask him of he wants it, he says no and has salad or veggies and cheese with his meals. He will still eat pretzels and the occasional quesadilla, but he went from eating a quesadilla almost everyday to not even wanting me to buy him tortillas at the store woo hoo! If you serve less and less of the grains and incorporate paleo options, he may just naturally stop wanting the grain items.
  • Spooky_Rach
    Spooky_Rach Posts: 25 Member
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    Hey Guys, this may have been posted in the past, but I didnt bother looking past page 11 :)

    Does anyone out there have a non paleo/primal partner? How do you manage both lifestyles? I'm struggling with self control. I make my boyfriend rice and I eat it. Or toast with PB on it and I TAKE LIKE TWO BITES!!

    Is this just an internal struggle that I have to get over? If so, did anyone have this struggle as well and what got you through it? I need ideas to motivate me :)

    I'd appreciate anything :)

    My OH is an vegetarian - so yep, we couldn't be more different on the eating habits :p. We have been together over 5 years and I'm relatively new to primal (I started back in March this year). I have done some falling off the wagon since I started with rice cakes, milk chocolate, pizzas to name a few things. I still eat white rice occasionally which is okay by primal standards (at least my understanding it is), so I will have chilli/currys/sushi with my OH.
    The other thing I've started to do in the past couple of months is to take primal food with me when I go to see him (we don't live together yet so I only see him every other weekend) and eat that rahter than the junk food he has in the cupboards. I got fed up of me sabotaging myself each time I saw him, but it did time before I came up wiht that plan. When it comes to us actually living together, I'm hoping to primalize some veggie curry + chilli recipes so we can eat those together for dinner and then for us to do our own things for other meals.
  • momof8munchkins
    momof8munchkins Posts: 1,167 Member
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    At first I was the lone ranger-ette eating Paleo in a house with 9 grain and dairy eaters..it was very hard to resist the temptation and often had a seperate meal from the rest of the family.. but then an amazing thing happened . I started feeling like I was dying every time I indulged..come to find out I have celiac disease-the temptation was baically removed for me.. not that I was would wish that on anyone but it certainly makes eating this way a lot easier..I no longer have an internal struggle.A few months later half the kids started displaying the same symptoms.. the situation has reversed. The whole family except my husband eats paleo-like-grain, dairy, legume free (they still eat potatoes I only do occasionaly).. now he is the one that feels alone lol kind of ironic honestly I have no advice but to hang in there and determine to stay the course, find a paleo version of your favorite foods..eventually it will be come second nature and his food will no longer be a temptation. Good luck!
  • greenlj77
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    My sister is a very healthy eater but still eats grains, though not nearly as often these days. We both cannot have dairy or soy so at least that works out nicely. But since I do the majority of the cooking, I can make what I want and she will eat it no matter what. If she cooks something, I usually end up eating it but will not have the leftovers.
  • damecaite42
    damecaite42 Posts: 24 Member
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    My husband is a vegetarian, and I have only been trying to eat primal for about a month and a half (two months gluten-free.) In some ways, not much as changed, as I've had to add meat to my dishes ever since he went veggie about four and a half years ago. But it's been tougher since I went primal, even though he is completely on board with it. Especially when we actually want to eat meals together. (Yes, I know we can each have different things and still eat together, but that is a lot less likely when both people have to cooking- sharing the kitchen is a challenge!) While there are a few things that I can still make for both of us and then add the meat to my portion (Thai red curry, yum! although I have to leave out the fish sauce,) many of the meals that we used to share (especially pasta dishes like spaghetti and ravioli, and anything with beans) are no longer possibilities. Cooking for both of us just takes so much extra effort that most of the time we each just make our own meals.

    Initially he tried to go gluten-free along with me, but he seems to think that the lack of wheat is effecting his athletic performance and bought whole wheat english muffins back into the house while I was out of town (not a temptation at all, but I just wish he wouldn't eat them.) I can't argue with his assertion that the gluten-free flours might be exacerbating his asthma, but I don't buy that he "needs" wheat to run well. Especially when his primary argument seems to be that he needs them as a peanut butter delivery system, and "celery doesn't work as well." Huh? :p The thing is, he can give the "why to avoid wheat" speech almost as well as I can, but he no longer sees the need to eliminate it completely- just reduce his consumption. I guess I'll take what I can get, keep doing my thing, and see how far he comes along for the ride (especially since he does the general grocery shopping, while I do the special runs to the farm for my grass fed beef, pastured eggs and raw milk.)
  • jus_in_bello
    jus_in_bello Posts: 326 Member
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    Maybe just cook paleo for him and if he wants non-paleo foods he has to make it himself. That's how it works in my world. I'm totally GF because I have to be, and the rule has always been, I'm awesome and giving and I'll make enough dinner for you to eat too, if you want something else/different make it yourself. It works well.
  • CakeFit21
    CakeFit21 Posts: 2,521 Member
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    Maybe just cook paleo for him and if he wants non-paleo foods he has to make it himself. That's how it works in my world. I'm totally GF because I have to be, and the rule has always been, I'm awesome and giving and I'll make enough dinner for you to eat too, if you want something else/different make it yourself. It works well.

    This.
    I only make non-paleo food for my 5 year old. You know, because he's 5. My husband is Korean and I don't make rice.

    One thing that may help you is changing your perspective. Instead of saying, "I can't eat that." Say, "I don't eat that." You just don't. Does that make sense? It puts all of the control in your hands. And if you really want some rice, eat it. 80/20. It's not going to kill you. I don't say that lightly. Anyone who knows me, knows that I am a pretty strict paleo, but if I want a damn cupcake I'm going to eat it. Oddly, after a full year of paleo I want less cupcakes and more pork shoulder. Gluten and sugar are my enemy.