UPDATE: Second date!
Replies
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Phew! Thank god I'm godless.4 - NB: this will only work for the religious, for a variety of reasons. You Godless heathens are, sadly, screwed. Also, it will only work for those under 25 or so, although that also depends on the parents.
MY thoughts exactly :laugh:
Also, my parents are screwed up. No way I'd want them having any hand in who I marry. That would be worse than remaining single.0 -
bahahahaha I always joked that I trusted my parents enough for them to choose my husband for me... I'm keep it in mind. :laugh:
Ok, I was only half serious.... But seriously: I'm half serious! Maybe even two thirds... :-)
And here's the thing: the parents - from both sides - then have a huge stake in the success of the marriage. So if Tommy starts screwing up, his Dad has a little heart to heart with him. A divorce means Tommy's dad made a bad selection. And he doesn't want that shame on the family.
Arranged marriages have gotten a bad rap. Historically, that was always the norm. And anyone who follows the modern dating scene can't argue with a straight face that what we do now is working, or even makes much sense...
The rise of Facebook culture and on-line dating will be the final nail in the coffin of romantic love (probably a misnomer, anyway).
--P0 -
1 - Romantic love is overrated. Look at the divorce rate in the US compared to, say, Egypt, where arranged marriages are still the norm. You can't make the empirical case that arranged marriages end in more divorce. Quite the opposite. Nothing succeeds like success...
--P
Sadly the only way they likely end for the lady is in her unpleasant death or complete abandonment and exile.0 -
1 - Romantic love is overrated. Look at the divorce rate in the US compared to, say, Egypt, where arranged marriages are still the norm. You can't make the empirical case that arranged marriages end in more divorce. Quite the opposite. Nothing succeeds like success...
--P
Sadly the only way they likely end for the lady is in her unpleasant death or complete abandonment and exile.
No, that's just not true. I don't think women in Qatar, for example, are suffering more unpleasant deaths or being sent into exile at a higher rate than their American sisters....
And even if it were true, we can do a "Western" version of arranged marriages, with plenty of protection for the ladies. Think outside of the box here, Carl.
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The sad thing is, at this point, my parents and I actually AGREE on the guy I'm interested in! I never thought I'd see the day -- maybe the arranged marriage thing could work :laugh:
Oh, and Laura, congrats on the second date! Just have fun and enjoy -- you're gorgeous, young and talented. Go out and conquer life!0 -
The sad thing is, at this point, my parents and I actually AGREE on the guy I'm interested in! I never thought I'd see the day -- maybe the arranged marriage thing could work :laugh:
You can just feel the momentum building! This movement has legs. Just need to find a way to monetize my role as the father on arranged marriages in the US...
Calling Oprah now to arrange a slot.
--P0 -
The sad thing is, at this point, my parents and I actually AGREE on the guy I'm interested in! I never thought I'd see the day -- maybe the arranged marriage thing could work :laugh:
You can just feel the momentum building! This movement has legs. Just need to find a way to monetize my role as the father on arranged marriages in the US...
Calling Oprah now to arrange a slot.
--P
Funny that you mentioned this because about a week ago while flipping channels I happened upon this documentary show about modern day arranged marriages - on the Oprah Network of all places. :laugh: There seem to be some clips of the show online here: http://www.oprah.com/own-ouramericalisaling/blogs/Holy-Matrimonies0 -
Funny that you mentioned this because about a week ago while flipping channels I happened upon this documentary show about modern day arranged marriages - on the Oprah Network of all places. :laugh: There seem to be some clips of the show online here: http://www.oprah.com/own-ouramericalisaling/blogs/Holy-Matrimonies
DAMN, I'M TOO LATE! NOOOOOOOOO!!! Now I know how Leibnitz felt...
--P0 -
The sad thing is, at this point, my parents and I actually AGREE on the guy I'm interested in! I never thought I'd see the day -- maybe the arranged marriage thing could work :laugh:
You can just feel the momentum building! This movement has legs. Just need to find a way to monetize my role as the father on arranged marriages in the US...
Calling Oprah now to arrange a slot.
--P
Funny that you mentioned this because about a week ago while flipping channels I happened upon this documentary show about modern day arranged marriages - on the Oprah Network of all places. :laugh: There seem to be some clips of the show online here: http://www.oprah.com/own-ouramericalisaling/blogs/Holy-Matrimonies
My neighbor actually had an arranged marriage - his wife was chosen by his parents. It lasted less than a year. neither had any emotional feelings so it ended quickly.0 -
The sad thing is, at this point, my parents and I actually AGREE on the guy I'm interested in! I never thought I'd see the day -- maybe the arranged marriage thing could work :laugh:
You can just feel the momentum building! This movement has legs. Just need to find a way to monetize my role as the father on arranged marriages in the US...
Calling Oprah now to arrange a slot.
--P
Funny that you mentioned this because about a week ago while flipping channels I happened upon this documentary show about modern day arranged marriages - on the Oprah Network of all places. :laugh: There seem to be some clips of the show online here: http://www.oprah.com/own-ouramericalisaling/blogs/Holy-Matrimonies
My neighbor actually had an arranged marriage - his wife was chosen by his parents. It lasted less than a year. neither had any emotional feelings so it ended quickly.
If you google divorce in Qatar or divorce in Egypt while it is true that those countries are civilized in basic treatment the overall picture is far from pretty or desirable.0 -
The sad thing is, at this point, my parents and I actually AGREE on the guy I'm interested in! I never thought I'd see the day -- maybe the arranged marriage thing could work :laugh:
You can just feel the momentum building! This movement has legs. Just need to find a way to monetize my role as the father on arranged marriages in the US...
Calling Oprah now to arrange a slot.
--P
Funny that you mentioned this because about a week ago while flipping channels I happened upon this documentary show about modern day arranged marriages - on the Oprah Network of all places. :laugh: There seem to be some clips of the show online here: http://www.oprah.com/own-ouramericalisaling/blogs/Holy-Matrimonies
My neighbor actually had an arranged marriage - his wife was chosen by his parents. It lasted less than a year. neither had any emotional feelings so it ended quickly.
If you google divorce in Qatar or divorce in Egypt while it is true that those countries are civilized in basic treatment the overall picture is far from pretty or desirable.
Yes, I agree. My neighbor was born in America, but has Indian parents, so it was an arranged marriage in the Hindu church. They barely knew each other and neither wanted to move to the other's state (that should've been a red flag).0 -
When I was a manager at Domino's, I had an employee from Bagladesh marry through a parental arrangement. His new wife joined him in Knoxville. We were talking one day and he told me all she ever did was cry because she was homesick and wanted to go back to her family and friends. His "solution" was to beat her until she shut up and to tell her he would give her something to cry about if she continued on like that. The openness of his attitude toward whipping her stunned me as much as actually have the willingness and ability to do it.0
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There is so much wrong with arranged marriages.
I'll take love, romance and freedom of choice every time, thank you!
:flowerforyou: 0 -
If you google divorce in Qatar or divorce in Egypt while it is true that those countries are civilized in basic treatment the overall picture is far from pretty or desirable.
I'm not going to defend any state that is heavily influenced by religion, be it Muslim, Christian, or whatever. Divorce laws in those countries are very unfair to women, clearly. You were initially talking about "unpleasant death" and "exile," which was a total exaggeration. Qatari women are not being banished to Libya....
None of that has any relevance to my original thesis, which was that we should encourage more Americans to enter into arranged marriages. I didn't say anything about instituting Sharia Law as part of this process.
--P0 -
There is so much wrong with arranged marriages.
I'll take love, romance and freedom of choice every time, thank you! :flowerforyou:
I agree. I would rather be single.0 -
When I was a manager at Domino's, I had an employee from Bagladesh marry through a parental arrangement. His new wife joined him in Knoxville. We were talking one day and he told me all she ever did was cry because she was homesick and wanted to go back to her family and friends. His "solution" was to beat her until she shut up and to tell her he would give her something to cry about if she continued on like that. The openness of his attitude toward whipping her stunned me as much as actually have the willingness and ability to do it.
He probably rapes her every night too! I can't understand a culture like this in the western world. I thought we were civilised.....disgraceful! :explode:0 -
OP, good luck on your 2nd date!
Also, thanks for posting so I know who I don't want dating advice from!0 -
There is so much wrong with arranged marriages.
I'll take love, romance and freedom of choice every time, thank you! :flowerforyou:
Oh, Anna, you are such the bourgeoisie... :ohwell:
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Lolol I prefer love and romance too, Anna! Although I have to say that the kinds of arranged marriages mentioned in Qatar or wherever else are not spurred by parental love and care for filial offspring. I'm pretty sure my parents would never force me into a marriage with a man who would beat me because I was homesick...
Edited to add: I'm not seriously considering an arranged marriage :laugh:0 -
When I was a manager at Domino's, I had an employee from Bagladesh marry through a parental arrangement. His new wife joined him in Knoxville. We were talking one day and he told me all she ever did was cry because she was homesick and wanted to go back to her family and friends. His "solution" was to beat her until she shut up and to tell her he would give her something to cry about if she continued on like that. The openness of his attitude toward whipping her stunned me as much as actually have the willingness and ability to do it.
Um, last time I checked, wife beating was illegal in Tennessee. As is kidnapping. I assume you fired this subordinate for committing a felony, then reported him to the proper authorities?
Although, granted, Republicans have been in power there for some time, so it may not be illegal anymore...
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If you google divorce in Qatar or divorce in Egypt while it is true that those countries are civilized in basic treatment the overall picture is far from pretty or desirable.
I'm not going to defend any state that is heavily influenced by religion, be it Muslim, Christian, or whatever. Divorce laws in those countries are very unfair to women, clearly. You were initially talking about "unpleasant death" and "exile," which was a total exaggeration. Qatari women are not being banished to Libya....
None of that has any relevance to my original thesis, which was that we should encourage more Americans to enter into arranged marriages. I didn't say anything about instituting Sharia Law as part of this process.
--P
If you actually do search it what you will find is that divorce rates are skyrocketing,not low with lifelong happy couples.
http://www.thenational.ae/news/world/africa/divorce-rate-surges-in-egypt0 -
There is so much wrong with arranged marriages.
I'll take love, romance and freedom of choice every time, thank you! :flowerforyou:
Oh, Anna, you are such the bourgeoisie... :ohwell:
--P
:laugh: never been accused of that before!
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If you actually do search it what you will find is that divorce rates are skyrocketing,not low.
And you'll find this corresponds with the *decline* in arranged marriages, and the rise in more western style marriages. Also, while increasing (in Egypt), they are still likely lower than US divorce rates (Egyptian numbers are incredibly unreliable). And changes in the law - making it easier for women to divorce their husbands - probably account for a huge part of this. Not to mention financial ruin brought about by the US backed Mubarak dictatorship.
Btw, do you really think I'm serious about encouraging more arranged marriages in the US? Really?
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Btw, do you really think I'm serious about encouraging more arranged marriages in the US? Really?
--P
:laugh: no!0 -
If you actually do search it what you will find is that divorce rates are skyrocketing,not low.
And you'll find this corresponds with the *decline* in arranged marriages, and the rise in more western style marriages. Also, while increasing (in Egypt), they are still likely lower than US divorce rates (Egyptian numbers are incredibly unreliable). And changes in the law - making it easier for women to divorce their husbands - probably account for a huge part of this. Not to mention financial ruin brought about by the US backed Mubarak dictatorship.
Btw, do you really think I'm serious about encouraging more arranged marriages in the US? Really?
--P
I hope not because while everyone is entitled to their own opinions on things I can`t for even a second conceive of a rational argument for it.:laugh:0 -
Btw, do you really think I'm serious about encouraging more arranged marriages in the US? Really?
--P
:laugh: no!
You (plural) really need to treat my posts more as performance art. Probably bad performance art, but performance art, nonetheless. I'm applying for an NEA grant as I type this....
And I'm pissed nobody got my earlier Leibnitz reference, btw... Oh well, I have an audience of one (me). Which is, incidentally, why I'll never find a proper girlfriend. :-)
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Wow lots of opinions here. I guess sometimes you have to listen to your gut. If you go out one more time more then likely if he was dishonest he will pull the same crap again and you will know better then to do it again. If he is more attentive and willing to be there for you, you might have something. He maybe just made other dates and found out he liked you better. If you met on a dating site you must assume he is dating and he assumes you are too. Did you talk about that at all? Sometimes life gets busy and life happens. I personally had better luck meeting quality people when I was heavier. Now that I'm I'm great shape and 41 and single with no kids people assume I'm commitment phobe or a player. It's not fair but it is what it is. I just keep trying and hopeful it will happen. Trust your gut.0
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And I'm pissed nobody got my earlier Leibnitz reference, btw... Oh well, I have an audience of one (me). Which is, incidentally, why I'll never find a proper girlfriend. :-)
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It's too deep for a single peeps forum. Jeez, know your audience!!!
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And I'm pissed nobody got my earlier Leibnitz reference, btw... Oh well, I have an audience of one (me). Which is, incidentally, why I'll never find a proper girlfriend. :-)
--P
It's too deep for a single peeps forum. Jeez, know your audience!!! :laugh:
yeah, what you on about P? Stop amusing yourself on here and go *kitten*, or something!! :laugh: :noway: :flowerforyou: 0 -
hahahahaha What have I started?! Can we please get back on topic please? Thank you! :flowerforyou:0
This discussion has been closed.