I agree, if you want to see him...tell him. Guys are thick and can't read your thoughts. I wish dating was more about people being honest and open. If you like me tell me, if you don't tell me. I'm an adult and can handle it. I'm pretty sick of dating as well.

Of course maybe since you haven't found the right person yet it doesn't seem as fun. I try to think back to meeting people I dated for a while and the first date always seemed easy. I've always been under the impression if I don't get a feeling on the first date there should be no reason to keep trying. It also must be hard having a child and dating.

I wish you the best though. I'd like to say keep at it but I've pretty much given up as well.

Ugh I feel your pain.
Someone had stated in a previous post of mine that I tend to beat myself up over not being able to find someone, and I'm not offended by what they said, but I find that statement to hit hard, and somewhat true.

All my adult (if you can call it that 19-29) life I've been married or in a relationship, Granted one was worse than the other but besides the point.

I don't even know how to be with just me. I don't know how to date, hearing everyone from thier different walks of life and situations leads me to ask, why is it so difficult to find somene with semi similar interests and values. They don't have to match, but you have to be able to tolerate the other's interests/values I think. (and many give the word "tolerate" a negative connotation, i don't mean it that way) Are we raising the bar too high? I can't be the only one who's asked that before.

There are rules on how often you should contact someone, I would have never thunk that. Rules for dating.

I think it would be ok to maybe ask Mike if you could discuss how your feeling about amount of time you spend together. Is that really what you want, the time, or is there something else within the time that you do spend together that you are wanting. Take a step back sit in his shoes see observe his life right now, and sit back and see yours....what do you want from him, really?
Then don't be afraid to ask for it.

It's great that he responded that he had a great time. I think women sometimes want to hear more, "what" was great about it, or some other validation that the "relationship/dating process" is going well.... and things are moving along. I'll admit I struggle with that.
I think it's sometimes hard to guage which guys you can "tell everything too" and which ones get annoyed by that.

I am so tired of dating. I am so tired of the whole thing. It seems like it should be fun and exciting but it isn't. I am still "seeing" Mike I guess. We went on two dates two weeks in a row and then didn't see each other for two weeks due to work conflicts. We had dinner last Thursday and I let him know that I don't have my son last night or tonight. His response the other day was okay. He was fixing one of his cars last night and he is still working on it tonight. I responded with okay, maybe next week. After each date he messaged me more that once saying what a great time he had.

I would think that if he had such a good time he would want to spend more time with me. Maybe I am mistaken. I am just feeling dejected about a lot of stuff so it is making the dating thing worse.

The early stages of dating are mostly unsatisfying. What you are feeling is quite normal.

The frequency of seeing each other in person is a bit low. Yes, I realize there are work conflicts. People in the early stages tend to lose interest is the frequency isn't there. Very true for men.

Telling him how much you want to see him is helpful.

I responded with okay, maybe next week. After each date he messaged me more that once saying what a great time he had.

I would think that if he had such a good time he would want to spend more time with me. Maybe I am mistaken. I am just feeling dejected about a lot of stuff so it is making the dating thing worse.

I would have said "what? You'd rather fix your car than come shag my brains out?" :laugh:

Big difference to "oh, ok, maybe next week then"

You want it to be fun, you gotta make it fun!! Or at least encourage the fun side?

You always sound so down and serious that these guys are'nt acting the way you want them to. But I think you need to take control of the dynamics, stop waiting for 'him' to make the move/suggestions, and just have fun! There will be plenty of time to get serious in the future, but 3 dates in is not the time :flowerforyou:

- So... are you available tomorrow then?
- No I'm fixing my car...
- Okay.



:laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
Yep, maybe you should have done what Anna suggested.
Since everyone is always so quiet and wary of telling the other person what stage the relationship is at (as others have pointed out), I guess you must create your own opportunities...
So no, "OKAY" is not an acceptable answer.

We talked a bit last night and it seems that he was pulling away because the ship he is on will be in and out of port over the next two months and he won't have a lot of time. He said that he wants see me when he can but he was concerned that I would get weird (his word) because we wouldn't be able to spend much time together and that if I wanted to call it off he understood. I told him that we would just see where it goes and as long as he communicated stuff I was good. He said okay and we moved on to talk about other stuff.

Meh, I do really like him and he seems to feel the same. But, I am starting to see why he has never married or been in any real long term relationships. So we shall see I guess.

I think maybe you got your answer even if it isn't the one you were hoping for. So sorry if that's the case :flowerforyou:

We talked a bit last night and it seems that he was pulling away because the ship he is on will be in and out of port over the next two months and he won't have a lot of time. He said that he wants see me when he can but he was concerned that I would get weird (his word) because we wouldn't be able to spend much time together and that if I wanted to call it off he understood. I told him that we would just see where it goes and as long as he communicated stuff I was good. He said okay and we moved on to talk about other stuff.

Meh, I do really like him and he seems to feel the same. But, I am starting to see why he has never married or been in any real long term relationships. So we shall see I guess.

I think maybe you got your answer even if it isn't the one you were hoping for. So sorry if that's the case :flowerforyou:

What do you think that answer was?

Well you said he was pulling away and concerned you'd get 'weird'. For your sake, I hope I'm wrong here, but those seem like red flags to me.

We talked a bit last night and it seems that he was pulling away because the ship he is on will be in and out of port over the next two months and he won't have a lot of time. He said that he wants see me when he can but he was concerned that I would get weird (his word) because we wouldn't be able to spend much time together and that if I wanted to call it off he understood. I told him that we would just see where it goes and as long as he communicated stuff I was good. He said okay and we moved on to talk about other stuff.

Meh, I do really like him and he seems to feel the same. But, I am starting to see why he has never married or been in any real long term relationships. So we shall see I guess.

i think his answer was he sees u as getting attached quickly and he doesnt wanna deal with that kind of drama.
I am impatient just like you lol. so I would say ok u either spend as much time while you're here and see what happens or we call it off. You decide.

I am so tired of dating. I am so tired of the whole thing. It seems like it should be fun and exciting but it isn't. I am still "seeing" Mike I guess. We went on two dates two weeks in a row and then didn't see each other for two weeks due to work conflicts. We had dinner last Thursday and I let him know that I don't have my son last night or tonight. His response the other day was okay. He was fixing one of his cars last night and he is still working on it tonight. I responded with okay, maybe next week. After each date he messaged me more that once saying what a great time he had.

I would think that if he had such a good time he would want to spend more time with me. Maybe I am mistaken. I am just feeling dejected about a lot of stuff so it is making the dating thing worse.

It sounds like you have a serious case of narcissism . If a guy doesn't want to spend every waking moment with you then you accuse him of not really being into you. Well perhaps he's preoccupied with this little thing called life. Get over yourself if you don't want to date like a responsible adult then don't. That's what Redbox,worldofwarcraft and silverbullets were made for. #100

Okay,lets tone it down and carry on a civilized conversation.

I don`t see a need for this to become a smaller version of what I think is the sometimes over sanitized main forums but please bear in mind that when addressing a topic there is no need to personally attack or insult the person.

So back to replying on the topic in a constructive manner and no more of this please.
Thanks.