I understand where you are coming from. I didn't tell too many folks during the first couple of months of my pre-op phase, but after that I started telling people and the reactions you get are varied. Some happy some concerned, but now I wear it as a badge of honor and I work at a large hospital (where I also had the surgery) so I have people stopping me asking me about it EVERY DAY and saying how great I look and they are happy that I chose to go that route because they can see how much happier and healthier I am. I am practically a poster child for the surgery here at work. So be proud that you made a decision thats going to make you a happier and healthier person and dont be embarrassed. We are here to support you!!!

I didn't tell anyone other than a few close friends and family what I was planning before surgery, but during the pre-surgery phase I managed to lose 40 pounds so everyone saw that I was already losing. I told my boss and work collegues that I was having surgery but didn't say for what. They sent me a gift card from Texas Roadhouse as a get well gift. LOL! Once I got back to work after surgery I pretty much told everyone because by then it was a done deal and nothing anyone could say would change my mind. Now, six months post-op and 90 total pounds down, I have no problem telling people I had WLS.

I feel the same way. So far only my husband and my parents are aware that I am planning on surgery in December. I feel like a failure because I couldn't lose the weight and keep it off. I am still very nervous. I feel alone in my descision most days.

first let me say that I only told a few people but my reasons didn't stem from embarrassment which I think is why your psychologist is concerned. As a therapist myself these are the things that go through my head when I read your post.

The reasons you choose who and who not to tell are worth exploring as you are going to be making some big changes in the short and long term future and you want them to be sustainable and not tripped up by any unexplored and underlying psych issues. Ask yourself why you are embarrassed, what are the first thoughts you have "the automatic thoughts" that pop into your head when you consider telling someone. Basically get past the "feeling" and get to the "thought" also called a core belief and that's where you are going to be able to change or at least better define "Embarrassed". You may discover that those underlying thoughts are very reasonable and rational, in which case no worries if they are associated with a lot of stereotypical negative maybe even outdated beliefs you are probably still okay because as you gain confidence and your body image changes and also realize how much hard work you've but in you'll shift your thinking similar to pljohnson's story. The important part for most us mental health professionals is that you know why, have considered the pro's and con's of your decision and have not let your emotions run amok because in the end emotions can be a dieter's bane and lead us right back into bad eating habits.

Best of luck on your journey, sorry I got all work mode in my post. Besides the way I see it you've already told a ton of people look at all of us who are offering support on MFP, seems like a great first step.

I think its a personal decision and neither way is right or wrong. Just do what feels right to you. I had no issues with telling anyone. I figured when I took off 5 weeks from work and came back losing weight people would figure it out anyway. People have been very supportive..at least to my face. I figure also i I can inspire someone to take that step that needs to...then thats a good thing.

I only told a select few until surgery was scheduled. I told all my co-workers the week of surgery because I didn't want people guessing or spreading rumors why I was out for 4 weeks. You will get stories (good & bad), but remember this surgery is different for everyone. I have found most people know very little about the surgery and I had to educate them. Remember you co-workers, friends, family will all be part of your support group.
I am now 4 months out and I tell everyone.

I know I made the right decision for myself to have this surgery and am HAPPY I did it.

At first I was really embarrassed. Pre-op when I started to cut things out of my diet and monitor everything I kept asking myself.. "Do they know I'm having RNY... Are they looking at me different?" etc.

I am a little over 15 weeks out and down a total of 76 lbs and when people ask how I have lost the weight I tell them that I had gastric bypass surgery, I track everything I eat, and because of the weight I have lost, I am now physically able to exercise 6 days a week which was impossible and very painful before! I haven't found a single person who didn't congratulate me on making that decision for myself. I guarantee there are a few people that don't agree with the surgery but I respect their congratulations for making the decision to better my life, whatever the way I chose was.

Add me on here if you want, I love the support that I get from people! I love giving encouragement as well

I think it's a very personal decision and depends greatly on the support, or lack of, you are going to receive from those people you tel. As you may have already noticed there are many ill informed and even hostile people on here when it comes to surgery. These are the kind of people best to avoid.

Personally I am in the beginning of surgery "prep" if you will and need to drop close to 70 pounds before I can actually get it. I have no issues telling people what I'm doing and why and if they don't like it, they can stuff it in an orifice of their choosing. If you are like me and don't care about the negativity of others cool. If you are slightly more sensitive than I and worry about reactions and the negativity then I completely understand why you wouldn't want to tell people. Just remember one thing, you can't get the support many are more than happy and willing to offer if you don't share with them what your plans, needs and wants happen to be.

Good luck to you.

I think i was going the route of trying not to tell people but when I had to start my 2 week liquid diet before surgery it was pretty much out there. They all handled it well and was very supportive. It's other friends I have i'm not so sure about telling. Close friends yeah, but those friends i talk to just a few times a year i won't unless they actually ask. I get the whole "what are you doing to lose weight" and i just smile and say putting in lots of hard work, good diet and exercise. cause technically i'm not lying.