Hello, I'm Mel and I'm 32. Was diagnosed with OCD when I was 26 but I suspect it's been going on since I was 8. That's the earliest I can remember having intrusive thoughts and doing weird things. I am what some call a "primary obsessional", meaning my compulsions are mostly in my head, although I do some checking, especially internet searches. Google is my demon!
Over the years the content of my obsessions has morphed, as OCD tends to focus on the things you value the most in life. At my worst, I was barely functioning and drinking myself into a stupor every night. At my best, I almost feel "normal".

The hardest part is I work as a therapist. So finding assistance in the community for myself is tough, because I know alot of the therapists out there. Tough to admit that despite all the counseling I give others, I struggle to apply it to myself. I take meds to take the edge off, but currently am struggling with a relapse that makes me question my ability at my job and my competance as a social worker. And on top of it, that last thing I want to do is eat healthy or exercise, even though that's the best thing to do.

Hello all!

Hi everyone,
My name is Kristine. I recently joined this group because I thought more support is always helpful. I find my family and friends try their best but just don't understand what I am battling daily. I have not been formally diagnosed with an anxiety disorder and my symptoms are probably on the milder side, however some days I find are really difficult to get through. I recently graduated from university and I believe thats when I developed the majority of my anxiety.

I am starting my career as a new nurse, and I am so terrified of making a mistake or harming a pt. The nature of the nursing profession provides its challenges: Time restraints, responsibility of other peoples health, and workload. I am reluctant to start taking any medication, but I have been to see a health professional before.

Anyways I hope to make some new friends here and hopefully learn some coping strategies. I want to feel like myself again.

I totally understand the nurses fear of harming a patient. I obsess over that. I work as a social worker, full time in a state psych hospital, and per diem in a local psychiatric emergency room. The emergency room job is sooo stressful, because I have to evaluate Pts who come in suicidal, homicidal, etc. and decide if they are safe to go home or need admission. I ALWAYS worry abou whether I made the right choice, was thorough enough etc. I wish I could quit, but social work isn't exactly fruitful employment and I need the extra dough. *sigh*

Welcome to the group both of you!

Hi, I'm Amanda.
I used to be okay with stress. In high-school I was in band, choir, and orchestra...always with solos, and competitions, and keeping my grades up in order to perform. I'd come home on the weekends and chill until Monday when it started all over again, lol.
Then my Sr. year of high-school I had heat stroke during a marching band event. That was the start of my anxiety disorder. I became so afraid of having another heat stroke that I would think I was having a heat stroke, when really at the time I didn't realize it was anxiety.
My stomach would give me troubles, I was told I had IBS...but medicine for it wasn't helping. I was in and out of the hospital for chest pains, and had drs. look at me and no one could tell me what was wrong. I took "gastro-cocktails" for a while to help with the stomach pain.
Finally during my Jr. year of college (my first time away from home) I realized that I wasn't feeling well. I would have dizzy spells, and feel the need to run out of my band-rehearsals. I went to the on-campus clinic, and they told me I had high blood pressure and needed medication. There was a reason it was nick-named "The Quack Shack" by the students. My dad knew better. When I called home, he got me on the phone and told me to go to a real doctor. He has suffered from anxiety/panic disorder for years, and he was beginning to suspect that was the case. Sure enough, he was right. I was put on paxil, which made me narcoleptic, so I was switched to Effexor xr. I felt a million times better! I wasn't nervous about having attacks or being sick all the time, and felt "normal" for the first time in my life. It was an amazing feeling!
When I graduated from college, I moved out of state to live with my long-time fiance' (7yrs together). I "aged-out" of medical insurance, so I began to wean myself off the effexor...and let me tell you that was a nightmare. I had shakes, brain-zaps, stomach pain...you name it! My body had become addicted to the drug. I made it through however, and went without medication for a while (except what little xanax I had left, and only as-needed).
After 8 months, my fiance dumped me and I went into a super depression. I came home, and thanks to the age limit changing to 26 years old, I went back on my parents insurance. I then bounced around from drug to drug trying to find the correct one. Wellabutrin was the worst. I was literally in bed for weeks, unable to breathe easily, unable to stand to walk to the restroom...a complete nightmare.
I am now taking Cymbalta, and my mom was nearly in tears telling my doctor "we have our daughter back." I still have a lot of issues with panic attacks, but they are slowly getting better and I am much healthier now than I was this time last year.

As a hopeful future educator, it's difficult to keep the fact of my disorder hush-hush...after all, anti-depressants have a negative connotation associated with them. People assume that the smallest thing will set you off, or the medicines will make you crazy. I love to teach, though (currently subbing) so I'm still going to try.
I also hope to write a book about mine, and my family's struggles with depression and anxiety some day (it runs very far back in our genes) when I build up enough courage to talk about it more freely. Right now, being unemployed...it's too soon.

At any rate, sorry for the long life-story haha. Nice to meet everyone!

I am Jenny married for 7 years to a husband who is in the navy on submarines. Have 2 children.I have been diagnosd with anxiety disorder. I have suffered from it for as long as I can remeber but it got so much worse after I have my first child. I went to the doctors and was diagnosed. I have massive panic attacks but it has been so much better since I have been on lexapro. My father had anxiety and depression and mom has depression. I also suffer from cronic migraines and am on medication for that. Last time I went to the docotr I found out I have a metabolic syndrom due to the weight I have gotten to. I think after my dad passed in 2010 I had more panic attacks then ever before.

Hi, Marty. Welcome to the group.

Marty, welcome. I have had panic attacks like that before and have been to the ER several times. I now lived frightened of my next one. It's awful. I am currently trying out different meds hoping to get one that works.

I wish you the best of luck finding the right meds. I've been to the ER several times also with anxiety/panic attacks, and each time I had myself convinced that I was dying. Its been about 3 years since my last ER visit though.
I thought I was going to have to go today. Apparently with the way I've been eating the past few days, I let my blood glucose level get too low. I was at work and suddenly broke out in a cold sweat, heart racing, confused as to what was going on around me, dizzy, tremling. I didn't know what was going on, but my wife convinced me just to sit down and have a snack and try to keep calm. After about 30 minutes, I felt a lot better but still had the shakes for a couple more hours. I've never had that happen to me before, but I feel fine now. Thanks for sharing you experience with the rest of us!

Hello everyone..

My name is Matthew I am a recovered functioning Anxiety problem. I hear you, I have only my experience.

Need a support group and found this on MFP. Looking forward to learning, sharing and healing.

I'm not sure what I've got....as its been called different things by different docs.....still searching for the right one who takes more than 10 minutes talk to me and throws a huge dose of medicine at me......what ever it is though it certainly involves anxiety and panic....

One said Panic disorder, another PTSD, and yet another GAD..........I just know it doesn't feel good and like many of the others have posted few friends and family really understand.......they simply say "press through".....

Would really like to use alternative methods to control; i.e. acupuncture, meditation, exercise to control, but realize that for now med may be required.

Dee

Hi My name is Heather and I'm 26. I have panic disorder. Through my life I had always had bits of anxiety but rarely came up till this year. About 2 months ago my 18 year old brother passed away from a type of cardiomyopathy(heart problem). Tragic time as it was I seemed fine upset and grieving of course but other than that no signs of anxiety nor this panic disorder. Till literally a week ago later on in the night it start the tight chest, the feeling of hardly being able to get breathes and the nervous anxiety feeling that the only way I can explain has I just felt weird. Well my sister has anxiety attacks so when I had called her she said its just anxiety just breathe through it. Well I went to bed of course just couldn't didn't want to laydown just couldn't be still but then forced myself to laydown till my body was just so tired I passed out. The next day I awoke feeling nauseated and just nervous feeling and kept that all day. Then that night it happened all over again but more extreme it woke me from my sleep. My fiancé said come on we are going to the ER. We go sit there for 5 hours test of test in the end the Doc says you have anxiety and you need to come to terms with it and work through it and I suggest you see a psychiatrist(not sure if spelled right). So I felt relieved to know nothing serious like my heart was the problem. Then my day goes as normal till bedtime of course but not so bad enough I could actually sleep. The next day I awake to the nausea once again and nervousness I eat breakfast and it goes away and my day is normal I even felt myself. Then night comes and it starts at this point I'm just so frustrated and keep thinking its something they missed which makes it worse but eventually I make myself go laydown. Then barely a hour into sleep I get awoken to extreme anxiety mainly a panic attack and just start crying to my mom and fiancé that something is wrong and I cant do this so I call off of work almost that morning wanting to go to ER but didn't. Then Saturday comes I feel better nauseated in the morning with nervousness but I eat and feel better day goes great night goes great I'm thinking good whatever is going on is getting better boy I was wrong. Sunday I awake nauseated and nervousness get to work eat some breakfast felt better and my day went great. Get home gets close to bed and it starts horrible this time but once again I force myself to sleep then 4 am comes and I'm jolted I feel constricted in the chest area felt like I couldn't get a breath and this episode is by far the worst I get up to kind of help my breathing not working so I panic of course drink water nothing is working so fiancé once again is like we are going to ER. We ran red lights everything I'm shaking literally feel like I'm going to die and we get to the ER. Same test are done as always and then I start feeling better I get back to the Doc and he checks more into the heart. He said everything is great you sound great you have no problems but suggested the same see a psychiatrist(not sure again on spelling) and said I was having panic attacks then gave me some meds Klonopin .5mg. I get home feeling better but still edgy so I take the prescribed amount and go to sleep. I wake up relieved and feeling a little weird but better. Then head to work for a overnight shift and feel fine the whole shift and then come to today and I feel fine today as well haven't even taken any meds today though I do feel a wee bit of anxiety. Long story I know but to introduce myself I feel people should know the background and that I haven't really been this way long. Its just nice to know I'm not alone and it would just be nice to know I'm not just crazy. Thank you