Well that was short.
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La_Amazona
Posts: 4,855 Member
I broke up with Hulk. :ohwell:
Short and sweet.
We wanted different things long term (he planned to start working away for longer periods of time in several months and he most likely didn't ever want children.. he brought this up several times AFTER becoming exclusive). Yes he was fun and we had a blast but I didn't want to get caught up in something that one day I knew I should have walked away earlier.
He is gone 4 days at a time. I shared with ya'll that from the beginning, he wasn't very communicative. This kept on and honestly it's a turn off. When we were together, it was all good but in between sometimes he'd call, sometimes he wouldn't. He could easily go 2-3 days w/o talking or even texting (and I know he's at work but he would have breaks and such where he could call or text). When this issue was brought up, he said he would work on it.. never did and then he told me he preferred to not have obligations.
Okay cool. I don't either, I suppose, but the fact that he brought that up so early, as if he was hesitating, turned me off.
We had been dating for a total of one month and a half and I felt no emotional connection with him. I had fun, physical stuff was great but I had no emotions going on whatsoever so I decided to pass him on. He was okay and sounded like it was all the same for him. Meh.
I'm fine. Definately not broken hearted. I miss hanging out with him but I want to have more than just a fun time. If that's the case, I rather just casually date several guys! I also want to feel special when I'm exclusive with someone. He said he prefers slow but sometimes it'd be non exisistent! I guess we just have different styles or he just wasn't THAT into me.
Anywho... thought I'd update the single peeps!!!
Short and sweet.
We wanted different things long term (he planned to start working away for longer periods of time in several months and he most likely didn't ever want children.. he brought this up several times AFTER becoming exclusive). Yes he was fun and we had a blast but I didn't want to get caught up in something that one day I knew I should have walked away earlier.
He is gone 4 days at a time. I shared with ya'll that from the beginning, he wasn't very communicative. This kept on and honestly it's a turn off. When we were together, it was all good but in between sometimes he'd call, sometimes he wouldn't. He could easily go 2-3 days w/o talking or even texting (and I know he's at work but he would have breaks and such where he could call or text). When this issue was brought up, he said he would work on it.. never did and then he told me he preferred to not have obligations.
Okay cool. I don't either, I suppose, but the fact that he brought that up so early, as if he was hesitating, turned me off.
We had been dating for a total of one month and a half and I felt no emotional connection with him. I had fun, physical stuff was great but I had no emotions going on whatsoever so I decided to pass him on. He was okay and sounded like it was all the same for him. Meh.
I'm fine. Definately not broken hearted. I miss hanging out with him but I want to have more than just a fun time. If that's the case, I rather just casually date several guys! I also want to feel special when I'm exclusive with someone. He said he prefers slow but sometimes it'd be non exisistent! I guess we just have different styles or he just wasn't THAT into me.
Anywho... thought I'd update the single peeps!!!
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Replies
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Your outlook on the situation is great. I am really proud of you!0
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Gracias...
Great pic ma'm!!!!0 -
Por nada amor.0
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Good on ya for moving on!
I used to give guys who travel a lot for work lots of leeway. Then I discovered 2 things:
1) They were often filling their time away with other women and making excuses about not being able to keep in touch (funny how when they meet someone they’re really into, they’ll find a way to keep in touch)
2) I moved into a job last year that required a LOT of travel – 2-3 times per month during the week. I’m still in that job. Funny how, even when I’m gone, I still texted my friends every day and talked with my son a LOT.
It’s great to have fun, and I’m glad you did, but when you want more there’s no sense in dragging out the relationship. Hopefully you’ll soon find someone who both physically AND emotionally rocks your world.0 -
Yup, agreed Janie.
I don't want a clingy man but jeez, I know I'm interesting so if you don't think so, get out of my way. J/K. Sorta.
The fact that he hadn't had a gf in 4 years and hasn't had a gf since starting the boat job helped me see more clearly. He said he loved his independence and not wanted to feel obligated... which I totally get. You should WANT to call me or text me because you like me (hello, I'm your gf afterall) so to me that says you don't like me that much which equals to not worth the stress in my book.
Plenty of fish in the sea. I did like those arms though...0 -
1. Absolutely love the new pic!!!!
2. you deserve so much better. I am proud of the way you are dealing with this, and moving on!
Short lived, but time to move on to bigger and better!0 -
Great outlook!!!0
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Hey Diana, it's another step in the right direction. It doesnt take that long to find out you're not compatible, thankfully!
NEXT!! :bigsmile:0 -
Sounds like a good decision on your part. Like Hulk and Janie, I travel a lot for work too, and it's one of the major reasons I am not bothering to look currently because I can't imagine trying to start anything when I'm gone 60-75% of the time.
Though I disagree with Janie about most guys who travel spending a lot of time with other women. Between all the contractors, I work with a good 3 dozen men who are constantly on the road and only one spends his time flirting with other women, and he limits it to that.0 -
Thanks guys!
My sister has dared me not to have another bf for rest of the year. Hmm.0 -
Thanks guys!
My sister has dared me not to have another bf for rest of the year. Hmm.
Won't happen. You can easily find dates.0 -
Thanks guys!
My sister has dared me not to have another bf for rest of the year. Hmm.
Won't happen. You can easily find dates.
Well I plan to date (have a date already :bigsmile: ) but she meant more as being exclusive with someone. I thought I waited long enough with hulk to make sure we were compatible. Since we kept it light and fun (our personalities are both fun but he can also be rather hermit crab which I am NOT) bigger issues weren't discussed too much. Soo I need to find a balance. I'm learning!0 -
Though I disagree with Janie about most guys who travel spending a lot of time with other women. Between all the contractors, I work with a good 3 dozen men who are constantly on the road and only one spends his time flirting with other women, and he limits it to that.
Maybe I didn't word it quite right... not saying all guys who travel do this... but the guys I've gone out with who travel AND told me they didn't have time to text or chat me while they were gone were the ones who were texting and chatting other women while they were gone. I first found this out by accident when one of their "local" girlfriends friended me on facebook or google or something and wanted to know who I was.
A daily "hi how are you, thinking of you" text doesn't take long. If a man can't be bothered to do that, especially after you tell him you need more contact, then he is either incompatible or not that into you.0 -
Nerple, I could handle a traveling bf as long as he kept in touch. Call me needy or whatever but I like to hear from my love interest at least every other day. Even if it's just a hi or thinking of you. The couple of times he did that made me smile!0
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This sounds really similar to the situation I was in for the past two months. Nice guya nd we had fun together we we would hang out but that was really only once a week (if that) and the physical connection was there as well. He never brought up being exclusive though so that started getting to me. He is also in a band so that took up a lot of his time.I felt like even if we were to make it exclusive the band would come first. And like you, there was just no real connection on an emotional level for me at all. So we stopped seeing each other a few days ago. I was bummed for a couple of days but this morning I went for a run and just kind of got over it, lol. I'm ready to see all the other fishies in the sea! :drinker:0
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Good for you! You obviously are incompatible in many ways, especially on the topic of kids, so I'm glad you could end things while you don't have an emotional connection.
IMO, a man who is really into me will want to talk to me while he's away. If he travels a lot for his job and doesn't, he either has a communication style that won't work for me or definitely isn't the one. The men I had the two longest relationships with would want to talk to me daily once we became exclusive when we were apart, even if email was all we could do - unless there was some circumstance we would discuss in advance that was going to make it impossible. I think that's very important to build trust when you aren't around each other now.
I don't see it as being needy. I see it as men from past relationships have set the standard (my expectations) that others must meet on this particular aspect of a relationship.0 -
Good for you! You know what you want and what you don't.
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So sorry to hear about you and Hulk, but YAY YOU!!! You didn't give your heart away and were able to look at the relationship objectively. You figured out early on that you weren't compatible and that is a great accomplishment. That's what dating is all about after all. While you might be a bit sad, you made progress in your personal growth/discovery. So, well done! :drinker:0
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Thanks guys!
My sister has dared me not to have another bf for rest of the year. Hmm.
Won't happen. You can easily find dates.
Ugh why throw out a negative connotation when this thread primarily positive. She can do anything she puts her mind to.
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I don't think DM meant that negatively. I think he was saying Amazona is hot enough to get another boyfriend before year end, so really it's about whether she wants to choose to be single for the rest of the year.
Yay for you Diana, for handling this so well... a great role model for the rest of us learning how to not get attached too quickly AND make the best choices for our future! The right guy will be out there when you are ready!0
