I'm 45, menopause hit me at 42. Looking back on the last 3 years my only good tip is "Have patience." My hot flashes aren't as bad or as frequent as they were 3 years ago. Still get a dozen or so every day but my sheets aren't soaked every night. :-) My brain is still stuck on stupid and my libido appears to be gone forever but I CAN still lose weight.

Edited to add: Agree wholeheartedly on the fan on you while sleeping. Husband puts up with it to get a cuddle. :laugh:

Anyone considering taking supplements - especially Black Cohosh - please be aware that some of them carry their own risks. When I first started taking Cohosh 3 years ago, the recommended dosage was 740mgs a day. A strange amount you might think, but the capsules all seemed to be 370mgs and to be taken twice a day so it appeared to be correct. It did help for quite a long while, but I kept on reading increasingly disturbing articles about it's side effects - especially on the liver. This was compounded by the discovery during a routine medical that I had NO natural resistance to Hepatitis C and would have to be immunised! Needless to say, the Cohosh was binned and I see that the recommended dosage has now dropped to 80mgs per day. A pretty big change in 3 years, so obviously a lot of these natural remedies are still on a learning curve. A lot of articles recommend soy products - but this is no use to me as I have a thyroid problem and have to avoid soy. I now take Neurontin to help cope with the hot flashes. Don't particularly like it but it is a necessary evil I'm afraid as I was getting no sleep whatsoever. People talk about them lasting 3 to 5 minutes, but mine were going on for 20 -30 minutes! I live in the Middle East where temps are regularly over 50oC - so sticking a hot flash on top of that ain't pretty. If sweating was an Olympic sport I'd be a shoo in. Walking upstairs involves a change of teeshirt. The bedroom a/c is on 15 degrees and I also have 2 fans on constantly. My husband has stuck a notice on the bedroom door "Abandon hope all ye who enter here" and refers to it as the bat cave. He comes to bed in a sweatshirt and tracksuit bottoms; and demands to know why I haven't got frostbite. I know that wine isn't the answer - but it helps to keep me sane!! I'm 3 years in with no sign of a let up and no idea how long it will last - so there's no way I am changing my entire lifestyle to try and remedy it. Life is too damned short to be ruled by your hormones!!

Yep BlueJean - I think it's like everything else in this world - one man's meat is another man's poison, and what works for one is in no way guaranteed to work for the next person. If something works for you then great - but I think there is a danger of people tying themselves in knots trying every remedy out there. I did it to begin with - I spent a fortune :- Black Cohosh, Dong Quai, Wild Yam, Red Clover, Evening Primrose, Kelp - you name it, I tried it. Also a couple of very expensive hormone creams which did absolutely nothing............!

I just feel that no-one has any idea how long their own personal hell is going to last; so is it really worth giving up everything that you enjoy in order to feel a little bit better? I love red wine, I love spicy food, and I am not worth a damn without my early morning tea or coffee, so there's no way I'm giving up my little pleasures!!

In order to battle night time hot flashes, I started taking a cold shower before I went to bed. It really seemed to help. It does not wake me up too much. I don't have any more trouble falling asleep than usual. So you might try it for a few nights and see if it helps.
Also, as others have mentioned, I avoid alcohol and exercise. I have always battled with my weight, but now it seems even more difficult to lose weight. I just keep chipping away at it.