REALITY: I gained 20lbs during my reset & NEVER lost it
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31prvrbs
Posts: 687 Member
I posted these pics before on the EM2WL forum, but figured it may do well to be posted here as well.
http://forums.eatmore2weighless.com/showthread.php?tid=196
Just wanted to pop in and say, that I'm SO sorry if I've EVER painted a rosy picture of EM2WL and weight LOSS. I've always tried my best to keep it completely real, as to how the scale will react, the amount of patience that is required, and how VERY long the process is. It is not a quick fix, nor would I want it to be, because I would not have learned the things that I have learned over the years, nor been able to accomplish the things that I've accomplished.
I have been on this journey for YEARS. There are still areas that I would like to see improve. Some will be in the near future, others are still a long time coming.
Anyway, there seems to be an ongoing trend of freak out/panic over weight gain. PLEASE understand how the scale plays into all of this *before* beginning. It is a tool. one of many. It does not own you, it does not tell you your worth, and it does not tell you the entire story. Period.
I gained 20 lbs on my reset and I have NOT lost it, to this day. Yes, when you see pics of me, it seems like I magically gained 20lbs of muscle or something, but I didn't. That 20 lbs came on, pretty much instantly. It did not look like it does now, and I had to live with the ups and down of it. The clothes getting tighter before they became looser. Feeling as if I'd outgrown my entire wardrobe, and even having to purchase NEW ones to accommodate the rapid gain. I even got to the point where I gave UP. Not in the sense that everyone talks about (like "I'm going back to 1200 cals!") but in the sense that "oh well, I refuse to underfeed my body, and reach an unmaintainable weight...so if this is the size that I am, it's the size that I am"
It was THEN that I quit stressing and let the real transformation begin. And it still continues to this day.
We recently posted this on FB, an old blog post (blog is no longer updated) that motivated me when the progress seemed slow going. It shows a woman's 6 YEAR progress w/eating properly and lifting weights.
http://builtblog.wikidbody.com/2007/08/02/it-takes-a-while/
I hope some of this helps someone, or at least gives a more realistic view point of how many of the bodies that we admire or hope to achieve take time...especially when done RIGHT.
Again...I'm sorry, if I've ever made it seem to be something other than what it is. :blushing:
~Kiki
http://forums.eatmore2weighless.com/showthread.php?tid=196
Just wanted to pop in and say, that I'm SO sorry if I've EVER painted a rosy picture of EM2WL and weight LOSS. I've always tried my best to keep it completely real, as to how the scale will react, the amount of patience that is required, and how VERY long the process is. It is not a quick fix, nor would I want it to be, because I would not have learned the things that I have learned over the years, nor been able to accomplish the things that I've accomplished.
I have been on this journey for YEARS. There are still areas that I would like to see improve. Some will be in the near future, others are still a long time coming.
Anyway, there seems to be an ongoing trend of freak out/panic over weight gain. PLEASE understand how the scale plays into all of this *before* beginning. It is a tool. one of many. It does not own you, it does not tell you your worth, and it does not tell you the entire story. Period.
I gained 20 lbs on my reset and I have NOT lost it, to this day. Yes, when you see pics of me, it seems like I magically gained 20lbs of muscle or something, but I didn't. That 20 lbs came on, pretty much instantly. It did not look like it does now, and I had to live with the ups and down of it. The clothes getting tighter before they became looser. Feeling as if I'd outgrown my entire wardrobe, and even having to purchase NEW ones to accommodate the rapid gain. I even got to the point where I gave UP. Not in the sense that everyone talks about (like "I'm going back to 1200 cals!") but in the sense that "oh well, I refuse to underfeed my body, and reach an unmaintainable weight...so if this is the size that I am, it's the size that I am"
It was THEN that I quit stressing and let the real transformation begin. And it still continues to this day.
We recently posted this on FB, an old blog post (blog is no longer updated) that motivated me when the progress seemed slow going. It shows a woman's 6 YEAR progress w/eating properly and lifting weights.
http://builtblog.wikidbody.com/2007/08/02/it-takes-a-while/
I hope some of this helps someone, or at least gives a more realistic view point of how many of the bodies that we admire or hope to achieve take time...especially when done RIGHT.
Again...I'm sorry, if I've ever made it seem to be something other than what it is. :blushing:
~Kiki
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Replies
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Thanks for sharing your story. That's kind of where I am right now, too. If this is the weight my body wants to be, so be it. I will eat and work out and see what happens.0
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Peolpe want results right now......it take time.....and all we have is time.0
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Kiki, you've been very up front and honest about the brutalities of feeding your body. I, personally, am so thankful for all of the advice, support, patience, and love you've shown me - a total stranger and for no fee. I've paid nutritionists, dietitians, trainers, fitness experts and the like big bucks over the years. I tried all of their advice (usually VLCD) with no results. I'm still following the EM2WL philosophy, thought admittedly it's a day-to-day thing since I'm still fearful of gaining back 75#, My weight is up almost 10# and a few of my clothes are getting tight, but I'm enjoying a relationship with food that I've never enjoyed in my life!!!!!
Food has always been my enemy and my comfort. I remember coming home from school at 10 years old, sitting in front of the TV eating 4 Reeses and drinking a 16oz glass of whole milk every day BEFORE dinner. I became the adult that relied on food for entertainment, celebration and comfort. The EM2WL philosophy may not have taken off any pounds, but it has given me a healthy relationship with food as fuel.
The number on the scale is honestly of zero importance to me. Really, who sees it but me? I'm white knuckling it through with the advice you've given and hope to see my 10# turn into muscle (hopefully by Fall, so my jeans will zip...yikes :noway: )
It's obvious to me that you have a heart for service and a mission to help people get back to an honest relationship with food and their bodies.
Thanks for this. This is just what I needed to hear today!!!!
Edited to add: OK, if I'm being totally honest, I'm following your advice except reducing cardio. It's my new drug of choice. Maybe someday..........0 -
Great post Kiki! Thank you for sharing it. I know I keep wondering (not so much worrying...just wondering) what I will weigh when I'm done this journey. I get more excited over inches now than pounds (I'm more interested in my body shape than how much it weighs) but I know it'll be a while yet before I truly don't care what that stupid scale says.
Progress of mind AND body. :happy:0 -
Great post, a good reminder that this isn't a quick fix, so we have to hang in there.
I follow the advice except for cutting cardio too - firstly because I am a triathlete and secondly because I can't lift due to injury at the moment. But I can attest to the toning and shaping benefits of the lifting, it's awesome
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Thanks Kiki!
It's so refreshing to hear some honesty. We're all here because we've battled with our bodies. I'm not the thinnest I've ever been but I now realise that's not what I want and it certainly wont make me happy.
It is what it is. And what it is to me is to be at peace with my body and at peace with food. It is to learn how to work with my body instead of against it and to appreciate what it *can* do and what it *can* achieve and rather than feeling let down by it and the things it doesn't do. I'm seeing positive changes. They are slow but it is still progression. it is a lifestyle I can keep up forever so it will take as long as it takes. I'm in it for the long haul.
It's great to hear that you've been doing this for years, have had all the ups and downs, but are ultimately still seeing positive changes on an ongoing basis.
EM2WL has been the light bulb I needed to make me see there is another option to constant hunger and self-loathing and I can't thank you guys enough for it. I really hope more and more people start to realise this too.
:flowerforyou:0 -
Kiki, you've been very up front and honest about the brutalities of feeding your body. I, personally, am so thankful for all of the advice, support, patience, and love you've shown me - a total stranger and for no fee. I've paid nutritionists, dietitians, trainers, fitness experts and the like big bucks over the years. I tried all of their advice (usually VLCD) with no results. I'm still following the EM2WL philosophy, thought admittedly it's a day-to-day thing since I'm still fearful of gaining back 75#, My weight is up almost 10# and a few of my clothes are getting tight, but I'm enjoying a relationship with food that I've never enjoyed in my life!!!!!
Food has always been my enemy and my comfort. I remember coming home from school at 10 years old, sitting in front of the TV eating 4 Reeses and drinking a 16oz glass of whole milk every day BEFORE dinner. I became the adult that relied on food for entertainment, celebration and comfort. The EM2WL philosophy may not have taken off any pounds, but it has given me a healthy relationship with food as fuel.
The number on the scale is honestly of zero importance to me. Really, who sees it but me? I'm white knuckling it through with the advice you've given and hope to see my 10# turn into muscle (hopefully by Fall, so my jeans will zip...yikes :noway: )
It's obvious to me that you have a heart for service and a mission to help people get back to an honest relationship with food and their bodies.
Thanks for this. This is just what I needed to hear today!!!!
Edited to add: OK, if I'm being totally honest, I'm following your advice except reducing cardio. It's my new drug of choice. Maybe someday..........
YOU have no idea how much I needed to hear THAT. Seriously.
Well....other than the whole cardio nonsense...
(just kidding, I've always said that cardio is a personal choice...as long as we eat to support our efforts - that's all that matters :flowerforyou: )
Thank you again...Even I need to be talked off the ledge sometimes (even if it's a completely different ledge, if you feel me :huh: )
I'm just here to help and share what research/experience has taught me. We give of our time the best we possibly can (I mean, I often give as much help in PMs as I do to my own clients!) but, we (Lucia, the mods, myself) are still human, we will not always be perfect, we sometimes seem to "disappear," but we are trying. EM2WL, to keep it even real-ER, does not pay the bills, homeschool the kid, clean the house, cook the meals, etc...
BUT, it is our heart,
and *even when you don't see us*, we are spending every free (in ALL aspects of the word) moment trying to spread the word, and help others help themselves. Sometimes I'm so buried in PMs that I can't even show my face in my own newsfeed, better yet to my husband (lets not talk about all the messages I answer via bed :noway: ) But I digress...
We adore you guys, for real. I pray that it shows, and if it does not...
~Kiki0 -
It's important that people are realistic about this whole thing. I think too many "other mentality" people jump on it and are not MENTALLY prepared for the challenge. It's long, full of emotion and breaking points and makes you really question everything.
Then one day you wake up and love yourself and realize the pain and suffering has been worth it for oh so many reasons. It's then that you ignore the scale and focus on living a healthy and happy life which to me is all that matters.0 -
I appreciate all your and Lucia's shared knowledge and guidance. Unfortunately some only see "Eat More To Weigh Less" an not all that goes with it. You have kept it REAL real!! What to expect.... Why you should... When you should.. When you shouldn't... ..LOL! Continue to put the information out there. Some of us are listening and are not only doing it, but doing it with great results!!
I hope some of this helps someone, or at least gives a more realistic view point of how many of the bodies that we admire or hope to achieve take time...especially when done RIGHT.
Again...I'm sorry, if I've ever made it seem to be something other than what it is. :blushing:
~Kiki
You rock Kiki! :flowerforyou:0 -
Thank you. We always want to see immediate results, but this is a lifetime journey. Must hang in there!0
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It's important that people are realistic about this whole thing. I think too many "other mentality" people jump on it and are not MENTALLY prepared for the challenge. It's long, full of emotion and breaking points and makes you really question everything.
Then one day you wake up and love yourself and realize the pain and suffering has been worth it for oh so many reasons. It's then that you ignore the scale and focus on living a healthy and happy life which to me is all that matters.
:drinker:0 -
Thank you for this post! I have just come to the realization that the scale may not move down for me for a LONG time. The scale has barely moved for my three months of reset and I doubt it will move much during my slight cut. AND THAT'S OK. In fact, I'm reconsidering even trying to cut right now. Because I am stronger, healthier, my pants fit better, I've put on 5lbs of muscle, lost 5lbs of fat in 8 weeks, and I have never felt this GOOD in my entire life. And I have NEVER eaten this much consistently. If the scale goes up, I would not care at this point. I'm eating healthily and cleanly and exercising regularly.
Your post has helped solidify my feelings that the scale is insignificant and a liar. You look fabulous at 20lbs more than your lightest! So I can too...in time. I WILL let my body move at it's own pace even if the "last 30 lbs" never come off or if only 10 do over a few years. I cannot ask my body to trust me if I do not trust it. Let's be honest, this is about trust. Everyone on the ledge needs to trust their body that it is doing the right thing and stop being upset about a scale number or how their pants fit. Our bodies know what needs to happen in order for that trust to be rebuilt. We are all here because our bodies don't trust us anymore after years of neglect and starvation. Time is the only thing that can rebuild trust. So we need to relax, eat, and wait for our bodies to trust us. Only then will the scale move down or the inches melt away. As I've seen from the forums, for some people that's right away, for others MONTHS or even years if they give it that long. Your post shows that the wait is worth it. So I'm trusting my body and waiting and EATING. :happy:
EDIT: P.S. I am literally eating twice as much as I used to and not gaining a pound. Something to think about!0 -
Kiki-
you are a rock star!!! you are an inspiration and never let anyone tell you otherwise. You are one of the most up front, kind, and helpful people on the MFP forums period. I am forever grateful to you and trusting this process. Have I lost weight? NO! BUT>>>>> I am eating 500 calories more than before and not gaining...I am not starving anymore. I feel like i can go to a social event and eating is ok...it doesn't mean I failed that day...i may not hit my macros but all is not lost in that event...and people ask me what have i been doing? and how much have i lost? i say well..i added in more strength training and am eating enough to fuel my body.I am not sure i see the results, but I know I am enjoying life WAY more and not obsessed with losing weight as my sole purpose in life. THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!
Brittany0 -
Kiki
Just wanted to drop in and let you know how much I appreciate what you and Lucia have done. You guys are amazing.
I will admit that it took me awhile to start upping my cals. I did it slowly...same with reducing cardio. I just did the reset over the summer (even though I've been following EM2WL since last December/January). I'm not going to lie. The reset was kind of scary for me. But I went to the website and read your posts about what to expect and when to know you're done with the reset.
I will say that I think you have been very up front and honest about what to expect. I think it probably depends on what place you are at in your journey (lifestyle change). When I first started on MFP, if I would've tried EM2WL I would have been one of the people that just got discouraged and thought it didn't work.
But it isn't the concept of EM2WL that would have been the problem. It would have been me. ME! I was not ready. I came to MFP eating 500-700 cals/day during the week and eating more on weekends because of family events, etc. I wasn't on a "diet", that was just how I ate. It was a carryover from my teenage years when I was anorexic. When I first came to MFP, I struggled to eat 1300 cals/day. I wouldn't have believed anyone who told me that a year and a half later I'd be happy eating 2300/day and maintaining.
So please don't apologize for painting a rosy picture. You didn't. All the information is out there and you were honest. Thanks for the post!! I hope you know how much we all appreciate you. :flowerforyou:
*Sorry for the ramble* :blushing:0 -
Thank you for sharing.0
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Ms. Kiki,
You are awesome!! Your post was just plain REAL! Over the past couple of weeks i have enjoyed eating 1700-1800 calories and i don't plan on stopping! I do love lifting weights and i guarantee you i will continue to follow this process. Every time i try to eat 1200 calories it's just not enough. some days i don't eat enough and i know it. I can tell.
You are not painting Rosy pictures. Sometimes people just don't understand how much they are eating and not paying attention to what they are eating.
What EM2WL has done for me is open my eyes to WHAT i am eating. I can eat 1800 healthy calories and that is the goal. My cravings have reduced big time!
Thank you for the motivation that you and Lucia give!0 -
Seriously awesome post.
I am in reset mode right now, and have already gained two pounds. And really, honestly, IDGAF. There are way more important things I've learned here. I found a love for lifting heavy and eating delicious food. And cooking. And learning about nutrition. I'm happier now than I was when I was eating much, much less. I know it will take time, and people who think they will just drop weight really quickly because they've eaten more for a while are kidding themselves.
Thanks for all you do for people here. :flowerforyou:0 -
I never thought you were miss leading or unclear about how this works. For me it was lack of understanding the process. The mental struggle that goes along with eating more, the bloated feeling in the beginning, the outsiders saying you eat to much. And its because of that I'm doing a second reset. I've since resolved my bad relationship with the scale, don't feel bloated anymore and have a plan to stick to for the rest of my life.
You and Lucia have helped me off the ledge so many times on this journey I cant thank you guys enough.
Misleading is what I received before em2wl. :flowerforyou:0 -
In all honesty, I don't think I ever started this journey with the perception it was going to be "easy". The only easy part is eating more yummy foods!! And that was after reading EVERYTHING. Every sticky, every article, everything I could get my hands on. I was always prepared for the scale to go up, always prepared for bloating, puffiness, everything that comes with it. I have put on 6kg which isn't going anywhere!! And the scale is possibly still on the upwards trend, but my body is changing for the better every day, every week, every month.
You and Lucia have always been honest. Not to mention patient, guiding, wise, and you guys do it all with such passion and love for what you do. I cannot thank you enough for all the information and support you have given me.
Months, MONTHS into my journey, I stand in front of the mirror every day and say to myself "imagine what you're going to look like in a year, imagine 2 years". I know that because of my small calorie deficit, real change is going to take a long, long time. However I know that because of my small calorie deficit, I can DO THIS FOR A LIFETIME. I can really do this for the rest of my life. I have never, ever felt that way about a "diet" before. I really feel like this has been a lifestyle change for me. I do not feel deprived, I never feel the need to binge, the way in which I think about what I feed myself has totally changed. For a decade food was about "skinny, starve, binge, taste, chocolate, white carbs". For a whole decade nothing changed my view on that. Now food is about "fuel, protein, muscles, GI, fibre, nutrients, satisfaction, STRONG". The difference between those buzzwords is astonishing to me now that I look back. The first lot of words were all about negativity and instant gratification, that's a decade of treating my body like I hated it. The second set are about positivity and strength, and I am so proud of myself for that.
I have said this so many times, but if it weren't for you and Lucia, I would never be here. Never be on this journey. Never be so full of fuel and energy and strength. And when I help people, the number one thing I try to stress is patience.
I will never, EVER starve myself every again. Not even when I see no change on the scale. Not even on the days (weeks) where I'm so full of fluid I want to cry. Not even when my friends do another crash diet and drop 5kg in a month (because I know they'll put it back on and more).
I am in this for life. 0 -
Thanks Kiki, I'm keeping this for future reference and motivation when I'm depressed and mad over the evil scale number!!0
