REALITY: I gained 20lbs during my reset & NEVER lost it
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Whew! I thought this was going to be a whiney, depressing, "I gained all this weight and this group didn't do anything for me, now I'm so fat, I hate you" thread. Glad to see it's not, nothing like one of those to ruin a day!
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At times during my 4 month journey into EM2WL I have been guilty of panicking/freaking out.
I went to the doctor yesterday for a random follow-up appointment and I weighed 10 more pounds than I did when I started all this back in May.
My clothes fit...differently. In some ways that I am happy about (like the way my butt looks! Hello squats and deadlifts!) and in some ways I am not so happy about (like my belly, which is and always has been my trouble spot, whether I was eating 1300 calories a day or now). But in general, my clothes fit the same.
My measurements fluctuate, but in general have stayed EXACTLY the same as they were on May 4, 2012. As of right now the only change I have is that my butt has gained a half an inch but my waist as stayed the same, and really....squats and deadlifts. This is normal and to be expected. It's also TOM and we all know how that affects measurements.
I definitely look more muscular though. And I'm pretty sure that's where the 10 pounds has mostly gone...to my arms. my shoulders, my legs, my booty.
I don't know if eating more will ever make me lose weight. At this point though...I don't care. It is difficult for me to put into words how horrible I felt this past winter from not eating nearly enough, working out like crazy, getting up several times a night with my second son, nursing almost exclusively, and having terrible insomnia. I was lucky if I slept more than 2 hours a night. I felt crazy. I felt desperate and sad and scared. It was a very dark place. I knew that something had to change or I was literally going to die.
I thought I was eating the amount I was supposed to eat to lose the baby weight. I thought I was eating healthy. But I felt like absolute crap all the time.
I am fairly certain that all that I struggled with last winter with postpartum depression and insomnia were directly related to my VLCD. The not sleeping, the constant fatigue, the depression...they were all red flags from my body telling me that I needed more fuel to survive.
Honestly, the best part of eating the proper amount of food my body needs is that I sleep like a rock. Maybe that sounds insignificant but if you've ever struggled with severe insomnia like I did you'll know how very precious sleep is. How everything literally looks and feels better with sleep. When I wake up I feel refreshed. If one of my kids needs me in the night (which happens -- bad dreams, wet the bed, thunderstorms, etc) I can help them and then go back to sleep without any trouble.
During the day I am happier. My hair is shinier. My skin looks healthier. Last winter when I was hardly eating and not sleeping my face looked aged and drawn. Not healthy. Now my skin glows and although my face is still thin I don't look so haggard and exhausted. I am more patient with my children and husband. The constant fog over my thought processes and inability to concentrate has been lifted. I am on antidepressants but I am confident that with time I will be able to take myself off them because I am almost positive that my lifelong battle with depression had a lot to do with not eating enough. I laugh more. I stress less.
I may not ever have visible abs. I may not ever rock a bikini on the beach. I may not ever be a size 2.
I'm only 4 months into this. I know that my body is healing. In 2 years maybe I will have visible abs. Or maybe not. In 4 years maybe I will rock a bikini. I'm in this for the long haul, either way.
To all those who claim it doesn't work...well, you could look at me and say that it hasn't "worked." At least not in the way I at first expected it to, or even wanted it to. I just wanted to lose 10 more pounds after several months of the scale not budging.
What I got was a new life. I am not trying to be all dramatic, but seriously. I cannot explain how much BETTER I feel in every way.
I am going to continue to eat 2100-2300 calories a day. I am going to continue to lift heavy things. I am excited to see where I'll be in 2, 3, or 5 years, even if as I go along I have "fat" days (or weeks, or months).0 -
Whew! I thought this was going to be a whiney, depressing, "I gained all this weight and this group didn't do anything for me, now I'm so fat, I hate you" thread. Glad to see it's not, nothing like one of those to ruin a day!
ROFL!! How about getting them delivered personally via PM?? ...Daily? :indifferent:
SO not the best part of waking up...
~Kiki0 -
At times during my 4 month journey into EM2WL I have been guilty of panicking/freaking out.
I went to the doctor yesterday for a random follow-up appointment and I weighed 10 more pounds than I did when I started all this back in May.
My clothes fit...differently. In some ways that I am happy about (like the way my butt looks! Hello squats and deadlifts!) and in some ways I am not so happy about (like my belly, which is and always has been my trouble spot, whether I was eating 1300 calories a day or now). But in general, my clothes fit the same.
My measurements fluctuate, but in general have stayed EXACTLY the same as they were on May 4, 2012. As of right now the only change I have is that my butt has gained a half an inch but my waist as stayed the same, and really....squats and deadlifts. This is normal and to be expected. It's also TOM and we all know how that affects measurements.
I definitely look more muscular though. And I'm pretty sure that's where the 10 pounds has mostly gone...to my arms. my shoulders, my legs, my booty.
I don't know if eating more will ever make me lose weight. At this point though...I don't care. It is difficult for me to put into words how horrible I felt this past winter from not eating nearly enough, working out like crazy, getting up several times a night with my second son, nursing almost exclusively, and having terrible insomnia. I was lucky if I slept more than 2 hours a night. I felt crazy. I felt desperate and sad and scared. It was a very dark place. I knew that something had to change or I was literally going to die.
I thought I was eating the amount I was supposed to eat to lose the baby weight. I thought I was eating healthy. But I felt like absolute crap all the time.
I am fairly certain that all that I struggled with last winter with postpartum depression and insomnia were directly related to my VLCD. The not sleeping, the constant fatigue, the depression...they were all red flags from my body telling me that I needed more fuel to survive.
Honestly, the best part of eating the proper amount of food my body needs is that I sleep like a rock. Maybe that sounds insignificant but if you've ever struggled with severe insomnia like I did you'll know how very precious sleep is. How everything literally looks and feels better with sleep. When I wake up I feel refreshed. If one of my kids needs me in the night (which happens -- bad dreams, wet the bed, thunderstorms, etc) I can help them and then go back to sleep without any trouble.
During the day I am happier. My hair is shinier. My skin looks healthier. Last winter when I was hardly eating and not sleeping my face looked aged and drawn. Not healthy. Now my skin glows and although my face is still thin I don't look so haggard and exhausted. I am more patient with my children and husband. The constant fog over my thought processes and inability to concentrate has been lifted. I am on antidepressants but I am confident that with time I will be able to take myself off them because I am almost positive that my lifelong battle with depression had a lot to do with not eating enough. I laugh more. I stress less.
I may not ever have visible abs. I may not ever rock a bikini on the beach. I may not ever be a size 2.
I'm only 4 months into this. I know that my body is healing. In 2 years maybe I will have visible abs. Or maybe not. In 4 years maybe I will rock a bikini. I'm in this for the long haul, either way.
To all those who claim it doesn't work...well, you could look at me and say that it hasn't "worked." At least not in the way I at first expected it to, or even wanted it to. I just wanted to lose 10 more pounds after several months of the scale not budging.
What I got was a new life. I am not trying to be all dramatic, but seriously. I cannot explain how much BETTER I feel in every way.
I am going to continue to eat 2100-2300 calories a day. I am going to continue to lift heavy things. I am excited to see where I'll be in 2, 3, or 5 years, even if as I go along I have "fat" days (or weeks, or months).
THAT was beautiful!!! Thank you so much for sharing!!0 -
Great info0
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Let’s face it, this is real life. People are always going to look for quick fixes, the solution to problems that nobody can work out, and an instant transformation into something that they can never genetically be. There will always be dissention, no matter what the topic is. We help individuals as best as we can, we cannot solve their problems nor be the one to single handedly transform their bodies and their eating habits regardless of how insistent they are that we do so. Everyone is dealt a unique set of life circumstances. Each person needs to figure out what works for them, there is no magic solution.
Thank you Kiki and Lucia, for all the wisdom and inspiration that you provide because I know you do this in an effort to reach out to people and make a difference. You do make a difference in many people’s lives, you let people enjoy life more and live healthier in the process. I think it is very empowering for a woman to feel strong, with strength comes confidence and with confidence a person can take their body to places they only imagined. I find inspiration just looking at avatar photos and realizing how awesome I could be, if I’m patient and hardworking.
Patience and hard work, those are the two things that we need to keep in mind. Patience is not waiting 6 weeks for results, it is waiting 6 years. Ask yourself where you want to be in 6 years, do you want to build muscle and be able to enjoy life, health and eating or do you want to be waging the war against food and counting every crouton on your salad? Muscle takes time to build, eating correctly and eating wholesome foods will help your body, but everything takes time. Stop and think of how long it takes for a cut to heal and that is just simply repairing a small piece of skin, your body needs a long time to rebuild itself. Are you worth the wait?
I have never loved my body, I have been overweight my entire life however since lifting weights and eating correctly I’m starting to like some parts of my body. I am still not happy with everything I see in the mirror and I never will be. I have not lost those last 10 pounds that I promised myself I would lose when I started NROLFW and I spent most of the program with a 5 pound gain, which was not the fault of the program but my own problem of not eating enough and having binges. I am now increasing my calories, and I am finally only 1 pound heavier than I started. I will be totally honest with you; I will never have a perfect body. I am happy with the changes that have happened, even though I cannot fit into my jeans and I am not the skinny person I thought I would be. I am strong and I love that, perhaps I should try to be badass instead of tiny.
Kiki and the other individuals who help out here, you guys are awesome for all that you do and all the time you take from your life to contribute to us. Thanks!0 -
Great information! I am a powerlifter, looking to build as much muscle as my gender and genetics will allow. I just joined your group
:-)0 -
Whew! I thought this was going to be a whiney, depressing, "I gained all this weight and this group didn't do anything for me, now I'm so fat, I hate you" thread. Glad to see it's not, nothing like one of those to ruin a day!
ROFL!! How about getting them delivered personally via PM?? ...Daily? :indifferent:
SO not the best part of waking up...
~Kiki
Oh man. Just remember how many people you truly ARE helping!
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Kiki and Lucia, your wonderful guidance and willingness to share all that you know has changed the way I am now fueling my body and exercising. I feel like the stress of weight is gone and the focus is now truly about fitness. I'm sure I'll have many more challenges to face with cutting and getting to where I would like to be, but the community here is wonderful and I'm so glad you both continue to contribute so much time and effort to make a difference. People do better when they know better. I'm hoping that my students begin to understand this process now in their late teens so they know that continually cutting calories is just as damaging as eating too much. Please keep up the great work!! 0
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Thanks Kiki like someone else I am going to bookmark this when I get panicky! It really is a lifestyle change and often a total rethink on health and weight.0
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YEESSSS
Please bookmark, because you WILL get panicky
you WILL gain weight
you WILL want to quit
if you do quit...
you WILL, more than likely, end up back at square one :ohwell:
and if you push through.....
you WILL BE SO GRATEFUL THAT YOU DID!!!
~Kiki :flowerforyou:0 -
Amen0
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Thanks for posting this....because I "was" seriously considering scaling back the calories. I have been on this process for just over 3 months....and lately I have been losing the mental game.
But between this message & Lucia kicking me in the tail (a much needed one) - I am back on eating at 10% cut and changing up my exercise rountine. I am measuring & weighing in & taking pictures & trying on those skinny jeans and will consider those tools to gauge my process -- not define it.
And I figure the best things in life are ones that you earn.....so I am going to EARN this.
Oh and one a side note -- seriously, thank you for all that you do....the amount of time & care that you and Lucia show to all of us is incredible and certainly appreciated!0 -
You guys have been SO real. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
Each individual is responsible for his or her own actions and choices. We all make our choices based on our experience and education.
To blame anyone else for your own choice is a very sad thing, since it does no good for anyone.
We are human and I think that each of us lives life until we have some significant experiences and we realize that nothing really comes for free, but that that is ok. That confidence and self-love is really the "magic bullet." Ha, I sound so wise, right? But I'm still working through all this--I think we just get closer and closer to this.
As a side note, I feel that it would be beneficial to all members of this community for all of us to not include a "pounds lost" ticker in our signatures. To me it seems to go against everything EMTWL embodies. How about putting NSVs in our signatures?0 -
Wow Kiki thanks so much for your dedication to supporting us all, your posts always inspire me.
I am only just starting this journey, havent got beyond netting BMR on a consistent basis but I struggle to eat much food, I am getting there though and eventually I will do the reset and hopefully change my body for good.
But even in these early days I have totally changed my view of food, I will NEVER return to VLCD I will NEVER starve my body of the fuel it needs. I am totally converted. I now enjoy food, I look at my stats and think, crikey I need something more to eat today. I'm learning to put in low volume high calorie food and even monitoring my macros - you have changed me!! but in a great way.
There is huge room for improvement but I'm in this for the long haul and not stressing over it too much, it will slot into place in the future.
In the meantime my body is thanking me, its letting me run harder, for longer and I'm not burning out part way round, I joined MFP to lose weight to help me run better, when all I needed was to feed my body.
The scales, I still hop on them for progress reports but I dont worry about the number any more, I got on this morning and I was up slightly and I said ok so be it, Its a number. The next milestone will be not getting on them anymore or only monthly when I do my weigh in but like everything else, baby steps.
I will no doubt have days of pulling my hair out, but you have all prepared me so much that I will hopefully take it in my stride and as part of the journey.
Thank you all xxx0 -
You guys have been SO real. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
Each individual is responsible for his or her own actions and choices. We all make our choices based on our experience and education.
To blame anyone else for your own choice is a very sad thing, since it does no good for anyone.
We are human and I think that each of us lives life until we have some significant experiences and we realize that nothing really comes for free, but that that is ok. That confidence and self-love is really the "magic bullet." Ha, I sound so wise, right? But I'm still working through all this--I think we just get closer and closer to this.
As a side note, I feel that it would be beneficial to all members of this community for all of us to not include a "pounds lost" ticker in our signatures. To me it seems to go against everything EMTWL embodies. How about putting NSVs in our signatures?
Yes, you sound very wise
I love the NSV in the signature. I wish there were ways to have signatures here :ohwell:0 -
As a side note, I feel that it would be beneficial to all members of this community for all of us to not include a "pounds lost" ticker in our signatures. To me it seems to go against everything EMTWL embodies. How about putting NSVs in our signatures?
That would be awesome. What's the title of this thread for anyhow? Maybe we should have tickers for how many pounds we gained. LOL, "20 pounds gained and not looking back!" :laugh:
Just kidding. It would be awesome if we could do the pounds gained thing if we knew how much muscle we gained, but otherwise it could be embarrasing. I like your NSV idea better. :bigsmile:0 -
bumping to read more . Thank you. I never thought you made it seem easy. GOD BLESS YOU:)0
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I love this post|!! Thanks Kiki!
I haven't had much time to post in this group lately...too busy eating :P
I had a 12 week plateau recently which I discovered might be postpartum thyroiditis related, and will find out my blood work results on Thursday but I have FINALLY started dropping again. I did adjust my calories to match my fitbit which was a bit less than what scooby suggested but it's really all about finding our own personal numbers and I think I finally have!
I am now .2 of a pound away from prepregnancy weight and I lost half of that weight eating more. After my first babe I starved myself to lose weight to the detriment of my breastmilk.
This has not been an easy journey at all. I started in April and it has been super slow going but frankly it is nice to be able to go out to family gatherings and to actually be able to eat. To not stress about food. To use food more for fuel and to not be hungry, irritable and constipated. The slowness is worth it in the end.
Thank you so much for all your hard work!0
