We are pleased to announce that on March 4, 2025, an updated Rich Text Editor will be introduced in the MyFitnessPal Community. To learn more about the upcoming changes, please click here. We look forward to sharing this new feature with you!
"I deserve it"
raggyanndoll
Posts: 176
I am under a lot of pressure right now in my life. I have a lot of activities coming up that are, just by chance, close together (spaced out just far enough apart to make them manageable but whew! what a busy time). I have a couple of big projects at work and am sometimes unsure about what to do first. I am also less than 2 weeks from finishing my Master's degree project and will be completely done with my Master's degree in 3 weeks. So you can see that I have a lot on my plate (no pun intended).
Yesterday I wrote to my sponsor and told her that I am being proactive and am taking the time to maintain my spiritual relationship with my higher power. I can feel God's presence in my life. My food is fairly clean but not perfect, which is normal for me. I am having a bit of tummy trouble but am managing. I actually feel mostly calm and together, in spite of it all. The tummy troubles tell me that this is really having an effect on me but somehow I am blessed with the ability to just keep moving forward in a productive way.
This morning, however, I grabbed a handful of red vines and brought them to work. "I deserve them," I said. I ate about 2/3 of them and stopped. Somehow I didn't want any more. But then I got back to my computer work and since they were sitting there in front of me, I grabbed the bag and finished them off without really even thinking about it. That was all pure compulsive eating.
I know I can do this. The time is almost done that there will be this kind of pressure. After I am done, I will feel a sense of accomplishment, knowing I have done God's will in furthering my education. I can do this, I can do this, I can do this....I can't afford to lose my spirituality with compulsive eating. We can do this, we can do this....
I really, really welcome your support and encouragement!
Yesterday I wrote to my sponsor and told her that I am being proactive and am taking the time to maintain my spiritual relationship with my higher power. I can feel God's presence in my life. My food is fairly clean but not perfect, which is normal for me. I am having a bit of tummy trouble but am managing. I actually feel mostly calm and together, in spite of it all. The tummy troubles tell me that this is really having an effect on me but somehow I am blessed with the ability to just keep moving forward in a productive way.
This morning, however, I grabbed a handful of red vines and brought them to work. "I deserve them," I said. I ate about 2/3 of them and stopped. Somehow I didn't want any more. But then I got back to my computer work and since they were sitting there in front of me, I grabbed the bag and finished them off without really even thinking about it. That was all pure compulsive eating.
I know I can do this. The time is almost done that there will be this kind of pressure. After I am done, I will feel a sense of accomplishment, knowing I have done God's will in furthering my education. I can do this, I can do this, I can do this....I can't afford to lose my spirituality with compulsive eating. We can do this, we can do this....
I really, really welcome your support and encouragement!
0
Replies
-
I can identify with that feeling of busyness/ over busy ness at the moment and also with the knowledge that 'this too will pass'. I realised this week that my disease was getting in my head and that makes me start to obsees re food/diethead thinking etc. I went to an extra meeting. Its quite a way for me to go and meant a late night home but 2 OA friends came with me and we had fun driving there and back together. It just gave me that shot in the arm I needed. I know when Im too busy its really hard to put God frst and yet if I don't my life/food etc all starts to fall apart.
I like what you di - emailed your sponsor, jumped on here and asked for help, and keep on handing it over. I need to remind yself so often that 'I am no longer running the show" as it says in the AABB.
I am like you in that if Im stressed/anxious my tummy also lets me know and today mine has been a bit off all day! I know my week ahead is going to be a very busy one and if I start thinking about all that needs to be done it freaks me out a bit, so I am reminding myself, thanks to your share that here I am right now in this moment and all is well. One day at a time is all we have to do, food, life, Masters degree and all!
Thank you for sharing today, I'm sending love and fellowship and a big cheer for just being here anyway xx :flowerforyou:0 -
I can identify with that feeling of busyness/ over busy ness at the moment and also with the knowledge that 'this too will pass'. I realised this week that my disease was getting in my head and that makes me start to obsees re food/diethead thinking etc. I went to an extra meeting. Its quite a way for me to go and meant a late night home but 2 OA friends came with me and we had fun driving there and back together. It just gave me that shot in the arm I needed. I know when Im too busy its really hard to put God frst and yet if I don't my life/food etc all starts to fall apart.
I like what you di - emailed your sponsor, jumped on here and asked for help, and keep on handing it over. I need to remind yself so often that 'I am no longer running the show" as it says in the AABB.
I am like you in that if Im stressed/anxious my tummy also lets me know and today mine has been a bit off all day! I know my week ahead is going to be a very busy one and if I start thinking about all that needs to be done it freaks me out a bit, so I am reminding myself, thanks to your share that here I am right now in this moment and all is well. One day at a time is all we have to do, food, life, Masters degree and all!
Thank you for sharing today, I'm sending love and fellowship and a big cheer for just being here anyway xx :flowerforyou:0 -
I like that quote and will remember to remind myself it."I am no longer running the show" Thanks.
Its so wonderful reading posts from people -my sisters and brothers, who have been doing OA for longer than me. They have such great insight and help. THANKS
I can identify with that feeling of busyness/ over busy ness at the moment and also with the knowledge that 'this too will pass'. I realised this week that my disease was getting in my head and that makes me start to obsees re food/diethead thinking etc. I went to an extra meeting. Its quite a way for me to go and meant a late night home but 2 OA friends came with me and we had fun driving there and back together. It just gave me that shot in the arm I needed. I know when Im too busy its really hard to put God frst and yet if I don't my life/food etc all starts to fall apart.
I like what you di - emailed your sponsor, jumped on here and asked for help, and keep on handing it over. I need to remind yself so often that 'I am no longer running the show" as it says in the AABB.
I am like you in that if Im stressed/anxious my tummy also lets me know and today mine has been a bit off all day! I know my week ahead is going to be a very busy one and if I start thinking about all that needs to be done it freaks me out a bit, so I am reminding myself, thanks to your share that here I am right now in this moment and all is well. One day at a time is all we have to do, food, life, Masters degree and all!
Thank you for sharing today, I'm sending love and fellowship and a big cheer for just being here anyway xx :flowerforyou:0 -
I feel like you're telling my story. Work has been nuts, I'm taking a huge test in 2 weeks, I feel unprepared and my schedule is packed out for the next month. I had a lapse with a soft pretzel yesterday, but I'm pretty good today. I'm just taking deep breaths, praying a lot, and telling myself that I know that the food makes it so much worse. Thanks for sharing your struggles. Hugs.0
-
I love peoples honesty in this programme. I too identify with busyness messing with my head. After a long day of clients when I'm physically and mentally tired my attitude is I can't be bothered to eat properly and end up with take-away or grazing on rubbish. I've just had a weekend of this type of eating and today I'm gratfeful for step-one and the ability to start over again.0
This discussion has been closed.