I am under a lot of pressure right now in my life. I have a lot of activities coming up that are, just by chance, close together (spaced out just far enough apart to make them manageable but whew! what a busy time). I have a couple of big projects at work and am sometimes unsure about what to do first. I am also less than 2 weeks from finishing my Master's degree project and will be completely done with my Master's degree in 3 weeks. So you can see that I have a lot on my plate (no pun intended).

Yesterday I wrote to my sponsor and told her that I am being proactive and am taking the time to maintain my spiritual relationship with my higher power. I can feel God's presence in my life. My food is fairly clean but not perfect, which is normal for me. I am having a bit of tummy trouble but am managing. I actually feel mostly calm and together, in spite of it all. The tummy troubles tell me that this is really having an effect on me but somehow I am blessed with the ability to just keep moving forward in a productive way.

This morning, however, I grabbed a handful of red vines and brought them to work. "I deserve them," I said. I ate about 2/3 of them and stopped. Somehow I didn't want any more. But then I got back to my computer work and since they were sitting there in front of me, I grabbed the bag and finished them off without really even thinking about it. That was all pure compulsive eating.

I know I can do this. The time is almost done that there will be this kind of pressure. After I am done, I will feel a sense of accomplishment, knowing I have done God's will in furthering my education. I can do this, I can do this, I can do this....I can't afford to lose my spirituality with compulsive eating. We can do this, we can do this....

I really, really welcome your support and encouragement!