Alright, so I've been counting my calories for a little over two weeks now. I've dropped four pounds!

I read this group a lot and I trust the science behind it, but mentally and emotionally I just can't get there. My BMR is around 2,100. And I just…can't. I just constantly go into freakout mode where all I can think is "YOU ARE TRYING TO LOSE WEIGHT. STOP EATING." My goal on MFP is 2,200, but I'll be honest - my mental goal is about 1,500. If I go over that, I get anxious and I feel like it was a bad day. I've been scrutinizing my diary for the past few days to see what I'm doing 'wrong' because I hit around 1,800 on Monday and Tuesday. Ugh, ugh, ugh. I just can't get past it.

I'm waiting for the lightbulb moment when my emotions can catch up with what my brain knows to be true, but I'm just not sure if it's going to happen. I assume that I'm not alone in this struggle considering the prevalence of VLCDs in our society – if you had trouble coming to terms with the idea that you have to eat MORE, what helped you finally realize that it would work?

I feel exactly the same. I am trying to increase but my head wont let me...I really need to change too.ate a lot yesterday and was no way near my TDEE!!! I need to do more research

I have spent a life time dieting and it does not work. The thing you have to remember is that by teaching yourself to eat, you are teaching your body not to hold on to fat. If your body knows that there will always be ample, healthy food, it will begin to release the fat and burn it up. I know it's hard, but for the first time in 54 years I am eating like a normal human being. Also, when your body is getting the proper mix of protein, carbs and fat, your workouts will be much more enjoyable.

Remember that by eating less than what you're allowed, you're actually setting yourself up for a fall later on. You are, in essence, training your body to lower itself down to eating 1,500. When you reach the point where you're no longer losing on 1,500... you'll have to eat even less to lose again, because your body will be used to that. Then where will you be? Miserable and on a VLCD, and the moment you go off it or stray a bit... you're likely to gain everything you've lost back. VLCDs are not sustainable and most people who lose weight on a VLCD gain it all back, making them pointless in the end. You have to remember that this is NOT what you want for yourself. You want sustained weight loss. So you need something you can stick with and wont get frustrated by.

So, on the other hand, if you eat the 2,200 you'll likely still lose the same amount of weight you're losing at 1,500 right now, but your body will be healthier and you'll be more satisfied as you're doing it. Likewise, your body will rebel against the drop in calories much less drastically, because your not cutting as drastically. Your body wont see the reason to hold on to every little extra bit of food you're giving it because it thinks you're dramatically underfeeding yourself on 1,500,

You just have to remember this. I know it might be hard. But in the long run, it's better to lose on a moderate deficit than it is to basically starve your body.

I agree with what some others have said here though about getting yourself a HRM or a FitBit, though - it could prove useful in your case to see what your body is actually burning in no uncertain terms, so you yourself can come to grips with it.

Just keep going, you'll get there. It's not overnight for everyone.

My fitbit helped me come to terms with EM2WL in the mathematical sense.

Emotionally, I didn't really "get it" until I had a dexa scan showing the damage of the VLCD I had been on. While I had lost 28lbs in 14 weeks, I had only lost 4% body fat, and LOST 10lbs of muscle. NOT GOOD. After seeing those numbers and literally breaking down realizing the damage I had done, I was 100% ready to eat. Starving your body only leads to muscle loss, lack of energy, and a host of other horrible problems. I barely made it through the 14 weeks eating so little without binging. (I didn't binge because I was in a weight loss study and they were watching me...) Even if you feel ok on less calories for now, your body will turn on you and you will binge if you do not make a change. And then you will gain your weight back and more.

The lightbulb moment was realizing that I did that to myself and I didn't have to. I let my body EAT MY MUSCLES because I did not eat enough. I am in control of how I fuel my body. If I want to look muscular and have the energy to exercise AND get through my long days without crashing, I have to fuel myself for that. I still have my bad days when I crave the starving feeling. But I pull out those dexa scans or pull out those pants that only became too big after I started eating more. Those things help me remember WHY I'm eating. I eat to live and be able to do what I need to do every day. I will never starve myself again. Once you've taken the plunge to eat more, the only thing that can hold you back is you and your relationship with the scale. Don't give an object power over whether or not you eat. You can do this!

Thank you Holly! I had to use my fitbit to prove to myself that eating 2k was okay.

I won't quote @crocatilla's whole post, but I agree with everything she said. I also struggled with upping my cals. I just had to jump right in. I made my goal for the week to hit my calories. It may take awhile to get used to, but you can do it! Also, visit the em2wl.com website and the Facebook page. The testimonials there are amazing!

One thing that really helped me was friending others with the same goals. Congrats on fueling your body and your weight loss so far!

EM2WL is a life long journey, relax and enjoy the ride. For the first time in my life I can eat like a normal person. Working out requires fuel.

bump

Alright, so I've been counting my calories for a little over two weeks now. I've dropped four pounds!

I read this group a lot and I trust the science behind it, but mentally and emotionally I just can't get there. My BMR is around 2,100. And I just…can't. I just constantly go into freakout mode where all I can think is "YOU ARE TRYING TO LOSE WEIGHT. STOP EATING." My goal on MFP is 2,200, but I'll be honest - my mental goal is about 1,500. If I go over that, I get anxious and I feel like it was a bad day. I've been scrutinizing my diary for the past few days to see what I'm doing 'wrong' because I hit around 1,800 on Monday and Tuesday. Ugh, ugh, ugh. I just can't get past it.

I'm waiting for the lightbulb moment when my emotions can catch up with what my brain knows to be true, but I'm just not sure if it's going to happen. I assume that I'm not alone in this struggle considering the prevalence of VLCDs in our society – if you had trouble coming to terms with the idea that you have to eat MORE, what helped you finally realize that it would work?

How much did you used to eat before?

Only been 2 weeks, go pick some days in August and starting adding up some typical days, normal fast food meal, normal snacks, ect. Don't have to get a day exact, but try to recall all the stuff you might normally have.
How many typical calories where you eating?

And were you exercising then?

Now, does 2200 seem high?