BAH HUMBUG!! 86 days until another reminder of being alone
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I used to LOVE the holidays back when our family was more tight-knit and we got along better. It seems we have all went our own ways. Also, not having someone to shop for and look forward to lots of days off of work so you can snuggle up and watch the old Christmas classics with…hey, think positive y’all, Christmas is still a ways off, never know, could meet someone between now & then!
Either way, I know I’ll be happy enough. I love the man I am, and I’m going to enjoy some time off work to paint, workout, maybe take a trip somewhere. I know I’ll have some moments that feel a little lonely, but I’ll just have to remember when I was in an unhappy relationship and that should make those blues go away!0 -
This is going to sound pathetic and whiny, but I just had to share because it made me laugh after the fact...
Tonight I talked to my mom and asked her to start talking to my sister and nieces about what they want for Christmas. It normally takes me months to get an answer so I start asking earlier every year. She shared that she was planning to spend less on Christmas this year, but I should be thinking about what I want. I decided it was time to have an honest conversation with my mom that I felt like she's gone overboard buying for my sister and I, so maybe we should all just do something together instead of spending lots on gifts.... and then she said it....
"You have no one to ever buy you anything so I feel OBLIGATED to continue to do so." Oh My God... she did not just say that! OBLIGATED?! It stung...especially since I was the one saying let's not do gifts. I moved on and transitioned the talk to the idea of doing something together. She agreed so now we will not do gifts, and I'm trying to forget yet another dig about being single.
But now I'm thinking... CRAP, no one will buy me ANYTHING this year!!! :laugh: :laugh:
Just wondering what anyone still does with their families, especially those who've never been married or don't have kids....what do you do for the holidays?
Holy ****, my jaw just literally dropped at what your mom said. And, because you are my friend and I think you are awesome, I had already planned your gift. lmao
I say a girl's weekend during the holidays might be necessary.0 -
"You have no one to ever buy you anything so I feel OBLIGATED to continue to do so." Oh My God... she did not just say that! OBLIGATED?! It stung...especially since I was the one saying let's not do gifts. I moved on and transitioned the talk to the idea of doing something together. She agreed so now we will not do gifts, and I'm trying to forget yet another dig about being single.
Wow, I can see how that hurts! I can also see how, as a mom, one would feel obligated (sort of that mom guilt thing) to make up for the areas of lack in their child's life. Not in the same sense as, "Oh, I don't want crazy Aunt Betty to dinner, but I'm obligated to invite her" but more of the sense of, "my baby will be so sad on Christmas if she gets no gifts, I need to do a little extra for her."0 -
Unlike the people I know with spouses and children, I do WHATEVER THE F I WANT for the Holidays. Maybe I feel like hopping on a plane and visiting a friend who has moved out of town. Maybe I feel like sitting at home with no shirt on and playing Xbox. It's probable that I will be in a rented ski cabin for a week of snowboarding, with no crying children or family feuds.
Pretty rough, I know.
NC, sorry she treated you like that. You're pretty level-headed, and I'm sure you realize those types of comments generally spout from some untapped pain inside that person. I try to smile and laugh at their pain instead of let the comments inflict it on me. Sort of healthy, right?
Edit: Not hating on the family folks here. I'm sure that could be fun too.0 -
I've never been sad that I was single over the holidays. I've been single for so long that it doesn't really affect me, I guess. I have no kids of my own so no present shopping there but I do get presents for family and friends with kids. I worked the past 2 years during the X-mas holidays.I don't get holidays off, ever. My work place never closes unless severe winter weather shuts down the place. However this year, according to the calender, X-mas eve and day fall on my weekend off work so I'll be with family.0
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NC, sorry she treated you like that. You're pretty level-headed, and I'm sure you realize those types of comments generally spout from some untapped pain inside that person. I try to smile and laugh at their pain instead of let the comments inflict it on me. Sort of healthy, right?
I really think you hit the nail here, Chris. My mom has said she actually worries over me more than my sister because I am alone, and my sister has been with someone for 12 years who can make her safe and secure. Granted in my book, I'd worry more about my sister every time she has to call the cops when that man who should make her feel safe gets drunk and tears up the house. The bail money alone that I've saved, haha....
My mom has never let herself be single even after divorce. So to her, I need taken care of more because there is no one to do it for me. So she feels the need to step in. I know it's not really about me... just hard to hear :grumble:
I love you MegsHoly ****, my jaw just literally dropped at what your mom said. And, because you are my friend and I think you are awesome, I had already planned your gift. lmao
I say a girl's weekend during the holidays might be necessary.
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I know it's not about the gifts... I was just telling you how I deal with the loneliness of Christmas because, even though, yes, I have kids... I still feel lonely especially during those times...
BUT let me tell you about my first Christmas with my first husband, and you single peeps should feel just fine about being single at Christmas:
It was our first Christmas together ever. (We only dated a few months before getting married... I know I know... okay) We were young. I had just turned 21, and he was 22. I was a fast food manager, and his income was less than mine. I didn't care, though, because I was so in love. I took care of the finances. No biggie. Anyway, we decorated our first tree together and bought gifts for our families. Okay, so I bought gifts for our families. And then I spent over $300 on him. May not sound like much to you now, but it was a lot to me then. Guess what. Two days before Christmas, and I find out that he had blown... blown all of his money on partying. He had not a dime left and had not bought me a single gift. It wasn't about the gift to me. It was about the fact that he didn't think about me, that I seemed to be last on his list of priorities.
So, yeah, it could be worse...0 -
To me the best part of the holidays was spending time with family and friends and playing games and talking around the table. Gifts were always a bonus.
Last year work put into effect that only one person on a team could be off at any given time so I was not able to go home for either Thanksgiving or Christmas. My family also decided to not buy each other gifts. I am the youngest in the family, as both my sister and I are childless, and my sister was living in France and it would have been a fortune to ship gifts to her. I have a friend that at Christmas last year that was a stay at home mom and her husband had just reached one year of unemployment. So I told my parents that I would rather get gifts for their 4 boys then for our family. I have spent the holidays with that family when I am not able to go home. I supplemented the cost of the presents that my friend got for her kids plus something from me. Well 3 of the 4 boys were ungreatful little B's with barely a thank you from any of them to either their parents or me. I didn't expect anything in return but at least a thank you. So after spending the weekend with them I get home and there is a package on my door step. It was homemade granola from one of my step cousins. Let me tell you. The waterworks went off just from that small tin of homemade granola. Mainly because it was not an oblingation and she wasn't expecting anything in return.
This year I am debating on spending it with that family since I know I won't be able to go home. There just seems to be too much drama around them and I don't want to add to it. BTW the husband is now employed again.0 -
Maybe I feel like sitting at home with no shirt on and playing Xbox.
Uhhh .. could I watch that????:bigsmile: 0 -
Maybe I feel like sitting at home with no shirt on and playing Xbox.
Uhhh .. could I watch that????:bigsmile:
Eff that! Let's join in. What are we playing?
Shirtless LAN party!0 -
That lonely feeling on Dec 26th 2010 is what got me to sign up for a free 3 day trial with Match.com. Dec 28th I got an email and he is now the love in my life. 0
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Maybe I feel like sitting at home with no shirt on and playing Xbox.
Uhhh .. could I watch that????:bigsmile:
Eff that! Let's join in. What are we playing?
Shirtless LAN party!
Wooooot wooooooot! :glasses:0 -
Just wondering what anyone still does with their families, especially those who've never been married or don't have kids....what do you do for the holidays?
I skip the family all together over the holidays and travel. Great time to go to far away places as most people are all with family and such. I try to make sure I stop in and say hi either before I leave or after I get back.
This year, I am planning a roadtrip between Christmas and New Years to the southern coast of the US to see some states that I have not yet. Being alone on holidays doesn't bother me one bit. Of course, still trying to convince my girlfriend (whom is very close to her large family) to just skip all the family stuff and come with me for a week and a half.0 -
let me tell you about my first Christmas with my first husband, and you single peeps should feel just fine about being single at Christmas:
It was our first Christmas together ever. (We only dated a few months before getting married... I know I know... okay) We were young. I had just turned 21, and he was 22. I was a fast food manager, and his income was less than mine. I didn't care, though, because I was so in love. I took care of the finances. No biggie. Anyway, we decorated our first tree together and bought gifts for our families. Okay, so I bought gifts for our families. And then I spent over $300 on him. May not sound like much to you now, but it was a lot to me then. Guess what. Two days before Christmas, and I find out that he had blown... blown all of his money on partying. He had not a dime left and had not bought me a single gift. It wasn't about the gift to me. It was about the fact that he didn't think about me, that I seemed to be last on his list of priorities.
So, yeah, it could be worse...
A poignant story and remainder that while it's nice to be in a good relationship, there are FAR worse things than being single... like being married to someone who doesn't truly care about you.0 -
I know it's not about the gifts... I was just telling you how I deal with the loneliness of Christmas because, even though, yes, I have kids... I still feel lonely especially during those times...
BUT let me tell you about my first Christmas with my first husband, and you single peeps should feel just fine about being single at Christmas:
It was our first Christmas together ever. (We only dated a few months before getting married... I know I know... okay) We were young. I had just turned 21, and he was 22. I was a fast food manager, and his income was less than mine. I didn't care, though, because I was so in love. I took care of the finances. No biggie. Anyway, we decorated our first tree together and bought gifts for our families. Okay, so I bought gifts for our families. And then I spent over $300 on him. May not sound like much to you now, but it was a lot to me then. Guess what. Two days before Christmas, and I find out that he had blown... blown all of his money on partying. He had not a dime left and had not bought me a single gift. It wasn't about the gift to me. It was about the fact that he didn't think about me, that I seemed to be last on his list of priorities.
So, yeah, it could be worse...
That's a very sad story. I'm so sorry you had to go through that. :-(
--P0 -
I've never felt bad for being single on Christmas. Valentine's and New Year's are a different story however...
Christmas is a happy time, but there is a bittersweetness to it. Especially on Christmas Eve.0
