Struggling to come to terms with EM2WL emotionally.
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cncrafton
Posts: 82 Member
Alright, so I've been counting my calories for a little over two weeks now. I've dropped four pounds! 
I read this group a lot and I trust the science behind it, but mentally and emotionally I just can't get there. My BMR is around 2,100. And I just…can't. I just constantly go into freakout mode where all I can think is "YOU ARE TRYING TO LOSE WEIGHT. STOP EATING." My goal on MFP is 2,200, but I'll be honest - my mental goal is about 1,500. If I go over that, I get anxious and I feel like it was a bad day. I've been scrutinizing my diary for the past few days to see what I'm doing 'wrong' because I hit around 1,800 on Monday and Tuesday. Ugh, ugh, ugh. I just can't get past it.
I'm waiting for the lightbulb moment when my emotions can catch up with what my brain knows to be true, but I'm just not sure if it's going to happen. I assume that I'm not alone in this struggle considering the prevalence of VLCDs in our society – if you had trouble coming to terms with the idea that you have to eat MORE, what helped you finally realize that it would work?
I read this group a lot and I trust the science behind it, but mentally and emotionally I just can't get there. My BMR is around 2,100. And I just…can't. I just constantly go into freakout mode where all I can think is "YOU ARE TRYING TO LOSE WEIGHT. STOP EATING." My goal on MFP is 2,200, but I'll be honest - my mental goal is about 1,500. If I go over that, I get anxious and I feel like it was a bad day. I've been scrutinizing my diary for the past few days to see what I'm doing 'wrong' because I hit around 1,800 on Monday and Tuesday. Ugh, ugh, ugh. I just can't get past it.
I'm waiting for the lightbulb moment when my emotions can catch up with what my brain knows to be true, but I'm just not sure if it's going to happen. I assume that I'm not alone in this struggle considering the prevalence of VLCDs in our society – if you had trouble coming to terms with the idea that you have to eat MORE, what helped you finally realize that it would work?
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First of all, grats on trying you fuel your body and lose weight without starving yourself. I did it the starving way the first time and ended up gaining nearly all of it back as soon as I started eating like a normal person again. I've only been trying to lose for two weeks now and I have noticed a difference in how I feel this time around. I mostly just came here to empathize with you because my recommended daily intake is near equivalent to yours and it can be very hard emotionally/mentally when you've been conditioned to think you should eat no more than 1200 calories per day (I exercise 2+ hours daily, so obviously that's way below what I should actually have). But...what I think to myself (and maybe this will only work if you've had the personal experience) is that I actually FEEL healthier and have more energy. My immune system got murdered when I tried to live on super low cals and lots of exercise. I kept a case of strep for 8 months because my body just didn't have the energy to fight it off. Once I started eating more, I stopped getting sick.
I hope that helps. I wish you all the best luck in your endeavor. 0 -
Alright, so I've been counting my calories for a little over two weeks now. I've dropped four pounds!
I read this group a lot and I trust the science behind it, but mentally and emotionally I just can't get there. My BMR is around 2,100. And I just…can't. I just constantly go into freakout mode where all I can think is "YOU ARE TRYING TO LOSE WEIGHT. STOP EATING." My goal on MFP is 2,200, but I'll be honest - my mental goal is about 1,500. If I go over that, I get anxious and I feel like it was a bad day. I've been scrutinizing my diary for the past few days to see what I'm doing 'wrong' because I hit around 1,800 on Monday and Tuesday. Ugh, ugh, ugh. I just can't get past it.
I'm waiting for the lightbulb moment when my emotions can catch up with what my brain knows to be true, but I'm just not sure if it's going to happen. I assume that I'm not alone in this struggle considering the prevalence of VLCDs in our society – if you had trouble coming to terms with the idea that you have to eat MORE, what helped you finally realize that it would work?
I feel exactly the same. I am trying to increase but my head wont let me...I really need to change too.ate a lot yesterday and was no way near my TDEE!!! I need to do more research0 -
Definitely do lots of reading up. There's so much information in this group and on the EM2WL website. It is quite a big psychological thing to overcome and for me it meant pretty much erasing everything I ever thought I knew about weight loss and starting again on a clean page.
Having spent so many years in the mindset that the less I eat the thinner I'd be, I have had to completely turn that on its head and see things very differently.
I big help for me was definitely getting my HRM and fitbit. Getting a clearer picture of my daily calorie burns from these tools made it all seem more real for me. As it turns out my TDEE according to fitbit is very similar to the Scooby calculator so I now know I can trust Scooby but I was rather pessimistic of this before I could see it for myself on fitbit. It definitely takes a lot of trust in process initially.
Making MFP friends that are following the same plan and seeing other people's progress definitely helped me come to terms and trust the EM2WL way too.
At the end of the day, this is something I can do for the rest of my life. I am no longer 'on a diet' and I know I'll never have to 'diet' again. To me this was a great incentive to take the plunge.
Good luck to you, I hope you can overcome this mental hurdle.0 -
I have spent a life time dieting and it does not work. The thing you have to remember is that by teaching yourself to eat, you are teaching your body not to hold on to fat. If your body knows that there will always be ample, healthy food, it will begin to release the fat and burn it up. I know it's hard, but for the first time in 54 years I am eating like a normal human being. Also, when your body is getting the proper mix of protein, carbs and fat, your workouts will be much more enjoyable.0
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Definitely do lots of reading up. There's so much information in this group and on the EM2WL website. It is quite a big psychological thing to overcome and for me it meant pretty much erasing everything I ever thought I knew about weight loss and starting again on a clean page.
Having spent so many years in the mindset that the less I eat the thinner I'd be, I have had to completely turn that on its head and see things very differently.
I big help for me was definitely getting my HRM and fitbit. Getting a clearer picture of my daily calorie burns from these tools made it all seem more real for me. As it turns out my TDEE according to fitbit is very similar to the Scooby calculator so I now know I can trust Scooby but I was rather pessimistic of this before I could see it for myself on fitbit. It definitely takes a lot of trust in process initially.
Making MFP friends that are following the same plan and seeing other people's progress definitely helped me come to terms and trust the EM2WL way too.
At the end of the day, this is something I can do for the rest of my life. I am no longer 'on a diet' and I know I'll never have to 'diet' again. To me this was a great incentive to take the plunge.
Good luck to you, I hope you can overcome this mental hurdle.
So much this!
When I began, I had a very hard time wrapping my head around it all. I knew it was the right thing to do. I am pretty active, and quite large, so it made perfect sense why eating only 1400 cals was not allowing me to drop the weight. My poor body was starving!!! I decided I had nothing to lose but weight, so I took the plunge. I went from 1400 to 1800(BMR) and sat there for a few weeks.. then jumped to 2400 (15% cut) and had a few weeks there. And finally I went for the reset and jumped to 2800 (TDEE) It can be quite challenging to eat more when you are so used to eating less, but trust the process. ENJOY your food again.
To Bump your cals up without actually eating a ton more, concentrate on full fat foods... no more diet or light stuff. eat Yogurt and cheese.. more ounces of meat with your meals. Add nuts and seeds to salads.. get Oil back into your diet again.
Its not an easy process and there will likely be some bumps in the road, but keep reminding yourself that in years down the road, YOU will be the one stuffing your face at the family function and looking fabulous, and everyone else will be staring at their single leaf of lettuce and wondering how you did it:)0 -
Remember that by eating less than what you're allowed, you're actually setting yourself up for a fall later on. You are, in essence, training your body to lower itself down to eating 1,500. When you reach the point where you're no longer losing on 1,500... you'll have to eat even less to lose again, because your body will be used to that. Then where will you be? Miserable and on a VLCD, and the moment you go off it or stray a bit... you're likely to gain everything you've lost back. VLCDs are not sustainable and most people who lose weight on a VLCD gain it all back, making them pointless in the end. You have to remember that this is NOT what you want for yourself. You want sustained weight loss. So you need something you can stick with and wont get frustrated by.
So, on the other hand, if you eat the 2,200 you'll likely still lose the same amount of weight you're losing at 1,500 right now, but your body will be healthier and you'll be more satisfied as you're doing it. Likewise, your body will rebel against the drop in calories much less drastically, because your not cutting as drastically. Your body wont see the reason to hold on to every little extra bit of food you're giving it because it thinks you're dramatically underfeeding yourself on 1,500,
You just have to remember this. I know it might be hard. But in the long run, it's better to lose on a moderate deficit than it is to basically starve your body.
I agree with what some others have said here though about getting yourself a HRM or a FitBit, though - it could prove useful in your case to see what your body is actually burning in no uncertain terms, so you yourself can come to grips with it.
Just keep going, you'll get there. It's not overnight for everyone.0 -
My fitbit helped me come to terms with EM2WL in the mathematical sense.
Emotionally, I didn't really "get it" until I had a dexa scan showing the damage of the VLCD I had been on. While I had lost 28lbs in 14 weeks, I had only lost 4% body fat, and LOST 10lbs of muscle. NOT GOOD. After seeing those numbers and literally breaking down realizing the damage I had done, I was 100% ready to eat. Starving your body only leads to muscle loss, lack of energy, and a host of other horrible problems. I barely made it through the 14 weeks eating so little without binging. (I didn't binge because I was in a weight loss study and they were watching me...) Even if you feel ok on less calories for now, your body will turn on you and you will binge if you do not make a change. And then you will gain your weight back and more.
The lightbulb moment was realizing that I did that to myself and I didn't have to. I let my body EAT MY MUSCLES because I did not eat enough. I am in control of how I fuel my body. If I want to look muscular and have the energy to exercise AND get through my long days without crashing, I have to fuel myself for that. I still have my bad days when I crave the starving feeling. But I pull out those dexa scans or pull out those pants that only became too big after I started eating more. Those things help me remember WHY I'm eating. I eat to live and be able to do what I need to do every day. I will never starve myself again. Once you've taken the plunge to eat more, the only thing that can hold you back is you and your relationship with the scale. Don't give an object power over whether or not you eat. You can do this!0 -
My fitbit helped me come to terms with EM2WL in the mathematical sense.
Emotionally, I didn't really "get it" until I had a dexa scan showing the damage of the VLCD I had been on. While I had lost 28lbs in 14 weeks, I had only lost 4% body fat, and LOST 10lbs of muscle. NOT GOOD. After seeing those numbers and literally breaking down realizing the damage I had done, I was 100% ready to eat. Starving your body only leads to muscle loss, lack of energy, and a host of other horrible problems. I barely made it through the 14 weeks eating so little without binging. (I didn't binge because I was in a weight loss study and they were watching me...) Even if you feel ok on less calories for now, your body will turn on you and you will binge if you do not make a change. And then you will gain your weight back and more.
The lightbulb moment was realizing that I did that to myself and I didn't have to. I let my body EAT MY MUSCLES because I did not eat enough. I am in control of how I fuel my body. If I want to look muscular and have the energy to exercise AND get through my long days without crashing, I have to fuel myself for that. I still have my bad days when I crave the starving feeling. But I pull out those dexa scans or pull out those pants that only became too big after I started eating more. Those things help me remember WHY I'm eating. I eat to live and be able to do what I need to do every day. I will never starve myself again. Once you've taken the plunge to eat more, the only thing that can hold you back is you and your relationship with the scale. Don't give an object power over whether or not you eat. You can do this!
Thank you Holly! I had to use my fitbit to prove to myself that eating 2k was okay.0 -
I am totally where you're at now. Emotionally struggling with this EM2WL method, however, knowing that it makes sense and I have to trust the process. For me, I am avoiding the scale, making lots of EM2WL friends here, watching macros, upping water, taking notes (will buy fish oil and whey protein next), and just trusting the process. I also just ordered the FITBIT while halfway through your thread. I've increased my cals from 1200 to 1600 in the last 2.5 weeks and will increase again to 1700 next week.... I've also revamped my exercise to heavy lifting 3x a week, less crazy cardio and more walking... I just keep telling myself that I've been a professional dieter all my life, screwed up my metabolism BIG time and I'm not going to fix it overnight. If it takes a year, then it takes a year. I have my whole life ahead of me. ;-) Good luck.0
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I won't quote @crocatilla's whole post, but I agree with everything she said. I also struggled with upping my cals. I just had to jump right in. I made my goal for the week to hit my calories. It may take awhile to get used to, but you can do it! Also, visit the em2wl.com website and the Facebook page. The testimonials there are amazing!
One thing that really helped me was friending others with the same goals. Congrats on fueling your body and your weight loss so far! 0 -
Thank you so much for your post, you put into words exactly where I am in my head. I am not sure I have got it yet but will keeping working on it.
I was doing 1300 cals a day and not eating back any exercise calories and it didn't work (suprise). I have now pushed myself up but still not enough. I used the tools someone posted on EM2WL and it came out I should eat 2400 to maintain which I haven't come to terms with yet.
Hope to get there with reeducation and support of my MFPs
Good luck everyone.0 -
EM2WL is a life long journey, relax and enjoy the ride. For the first time in my life I can eat like a normal person. Working out requires fuel.0
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It is hard to ditch the old thinking about "eat less, lose more" but I tend to prefer to think of it as "eat a little bit less, lose a little bit of weight, and gradually, the little bits add up to big bits".
EM2WL was hugely liberating for me. I lost 10lb doing it, over 3 months, as well as 3in off my waist. I put a little bit back on again when I was unwell and not exercising, but it's coming off again now that I am sticking to the numbers. I also discovered (gasp) eating FAT, yes, fat, that I had previously avoided on low calorie diets, and I never eat low fat, low calorie diet Frankenfoods - real food all the way, now, and reaping the health benefits.
It takes some time to shake the mindset, but it does work, and it's a much nicer process than being on a VLCD.0 -
bump0
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Emotionally, I didn't really "get it" until I had a dexa scan showing the damage of the VLCD I had been on. While I had lost 28lbs in 14 weeks, I had only lost 4% body fat, and LOST 10lbs of muscle. NOT GOOD. After seeing those numbers and literally breaking down realizing the damage I had done, I was 100% ready to eat. Starving your body only leads to muscle loss, lack of energy, and a host of other horrible problems. I barely made it through the 14 weeks eating so little without binging. (I didn't binge because I was in a weight loss study and they were watching me...) Even if you feel ok on less calories for now, your body will turn on you and you will binge if you do not make a change. And then you will gain your weight back and more.
wow. big eye opener! thanks for sharing this.0 -
Alright, so I've been counting my calories for a little over two weeks now. I've dropped four pounds!
I read this group a lot and I trust the science behind it, but mentally and emotionally I just can't get there. My BMR is around 2,100. And I just…can't. I just constantly go into freakout mode where all I can think is "YOU ARE TRYING TO LOSE WEIGHT. STOP EATING." My goal on MFP is 2,200, but I'll be honest - my mental goal is about 1,500. If I go over that, I get anxious and I feel like it was a bad day. I've been scrutinizing my diary for the past few days to see what I'm doing 'wrong' because I hit around 1,800 on Monday and Tuesday. Ugh, ugh, ugh. I just can't get past it.
I'm waiting for the lightbulb moment when my emotions can catch up with what my brain knows to be true, but I'm just not sure if it's going to happen. I assume that I'm not alone in this struggle considering the prevalence of VLCDs in our society – if you had trouble coming to terms with the idea that you have to eat MORE, what helped you finally realize that it would work?
How much did you used to eat before?
Only been 2 weeks, go pick some days in August and starting adding up some typical days, normal fast food meal, normal snacks, ect. Don't have to get a day exact, but try to recall all the stuff you might normally have.
How many typical calories where you eating?
And were you exercising then?
Now, does 2200 seem high?0
