Primal/Paleo Kids, Stealing Non-Primal/Paleo Food
TheGlen
Posts: 242 Member
Hello,
My wife, kids and I try to follow the primal blueprint as much as possible. We are all on a strict "no wheat/gluten" diet, and although my wife and I still eat some dairy, our kids don't have any (this was suggested by the doctor/allergist for both my daughter, who has severe asthma, and our son who has adhd/tourettes).
Over the last few months, we have seen a steady increase in the symptoms that had subsided when we moved to the primal blueprint (ticks, behaviour, etc), but we were at a loss to explain them. We had been assuming it was to do with his age, or possibly an increase in weight not being accounted for with his medication.
It has just came to our attention that our 11 y/o son has been stealing dairy from the fridge (milk/cheese) and eating the "healthy snacks" his school provides for the children in the afternoons (cereal, crackers, granola bars, cheese, etc). As well, he has been stealing cookies and crackers when staying at his Dad's house every other weekend (they adhere to his diet when he is there, but have several items in their house that contain wheat/gluten for when he is not there). We only just realized this was going on, as he started to take more and more each week.
He's 11 years old, it's not like we can put the food out of his reach. There is no way we can watch him 24 hours a day to make sure he isn't eating food he knows is bad for him, and honestly, at 11 years old we shouldn't have to. We've talked to him, but are finding it hard to trust him now (this has been going on for months).
Is anyone else dealing with this type of challenge? Does anyone have any suggestions other than, "talk to him and make him understand why he shouldn't eat this food"?
Thanks, Glen
My wife, kids and I try to follow the primal blueprint as much as possible. We are all on a strict "no wheat/gluten" diet, and although my wife and I still eat some dairy, our kids don't have any (this was suggested by the doctor/allergist for both my daughter, who has severe asthma, and our son who has adhd/tourettes).
Over the last few months, we have seen a steady increase in the symptoms that had subsided when we moved to the primal blueprint (ticks, behaviour, etc), but we were at a loss to explain them. We had been assuming it was to do with his age, or possibly an increase in weight not being accounted for with his medication.
It has just came to our attention that our 11 y/o son has been stealing dairy from the fridge (milk/cheese) and eating the "healthy snacks" his school provides for the children in the afternoons (cereal, crackers, granola bars, cheese, etc). As well, he has been stealing cookies and crackers when staying at his Dad's house every other weekend (they adhere to his diet when he is there, but have several items in their house that contain wheat/gluten for when he is not there). We only just realized this was going on, as he started to take more and more each week.
He's 11 years old, it's not like we can put the food out of his reach. There is no way we can watch him 24 hours a day to make sure he isn't eating food he knows is bad for him, and honestly, at 11 years old we shouldn't have to. We've talked to him, but are finding it hard to trust him now (this has been going on for months).
Is anyone else dealing with this type of challenge? Does anyone have any suggestions other than, "talk to him and make him understand why he shouldn't eat this food"?
Thanks, Glen
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Replies
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I am not dealing with something similar - but will say that behavior is highly indicative of someone with an addiction. that can happen at any age.0
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I am not dealing with something similar - but will say that behavior is highly indicative of someone with an addiction. that can happen at any age.
Interesting point of view. My wife and I didn't think of it in this way; maybe it's a matter of making sure we lock everything down until he gets past the withdrawal period.0 -
That is hard
I have 11 year olds and one has a lactose/casien allergy and while she can have dairy from time to time and take something like lactiad for the stomach issues - a big thing for her is excema - so we have talked to her about how she has to start taking responsibility and making choices...that things like Lactaid only goes so far...
But with ADHD and Tourtettes you are throwing in added issues - my suggestion would be two fold - locking food away at home (and requesting that his dad does as well when he is there) and continue talking with him about choices - because you can control what you have available at your house - but school is a whole different matter - you maybe able to shut down what he can get from the cafeteria - but what about his friends or any sort of vending machines the school may have.0 -
I think you might have to get rid of the dairy in your own house and go dairy free for awhile. It might make your son feel jealous that you get to have the grownup forbidden food and he can't. And a good talk with his other parents would be important. I don't have much advice for the school situation. Perhaps provide dairy-free snacks and have a talk with his teachers to really keep an eye on him?0
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if you are in california- let the school know. they can prepare a different snack for him. i work with kids on the autism spectrum and most of them receive income qualified free lunch- and most of my students are on a GFCF diet (gluten/casein free) and the school provides an alternative lunch for these students. maybe if you let the school know they can help out when you aren't around.
he is too young to really understand why he can't have these things and his friends can on a medical perspective, but maybe you can draw out some sort of visual reminder for the fridge/cabinets reminding him of the physical repercussions of eating a diet that will trigger symptoms?0 -
He is a normal child! My child "steals" food that she's not supposed to have when it's in the house. She's 5 and it doesn't matter where the food is, she can climb. So, I've done two things: convince her that eating like a dinosaur is very cool (won't work for an 11 year old) and gotten rid of all the foods that I don't want her to have. No one has to have dairy to survive and if your child is gets sick by eating it but loves it (who doesn't love dairy) then I think it would only be fair to not have it in the house. Sucks, I know.
As far as when your child is not at home, I have the same issues. My child is fed at school (even though she can't bring an orange or nuts to school- processed foods, wheat, artificial sweeteners are a-ok of course) and at the daycare. There is no way for me to get her to refuse all those "foods". So I just rest in the fact that I feed her the best I can at home and that I am the biggest influence in her life. She will make her own decisions, but I can play a big part in how she learns to think about food.0 -
It is not that simple for those of us whose kids HAVE to eat a certain way for them to be healthy. there is a huge difference when the child in question doesn't get physcally sick from regular food.. in that case you can set back and relax. but when your kid does get ill from one cookie or whatever or affects their behavior in a negative way you have to be more diligent in keeping them safe even when the child is resistent.. I am dealing with that myself.. with my gluten /dairy/soy/legume intolerant kids. I have to make sure they stay safe or they spend days hovering over the toilet..He is a normal child! My child "steals" food that she's not supposed to have when it's in the house. She's 5 and it doesn't matter where the food is, she can climb. So, I've done two things: convince her that eating like a dinosaur is very cool (won't work for an 11 year old) and gotten rid of all the foods that I don't want her to have. No one has to have dairy to survive and if your child is gets sick by eating it but loves it (who doesn't love dairy) then I think it would only be fair to not have it in the house. Sucks, I know.
As far as when your child is not at home, I have the same issues. My child is fed at school (even though she can't bring an orange or nuts to school- processed foods, wheat, artificial sweeteners are a-ok of course) and at the daycare. There is no way for me to get her to refuse all those "foods". So I just rest in the fact that I feed her the best I can at home and that I am the biggest influence in her life. She will make her own decisions, but I can play a big part in how she learns to think about food.0 -
It is not that simple for those of us whose kids HAVE to eat a certain way for them to be healthy. there is a huge difference when the child in question doesn't get physcally sick from regular food.. in that case you can set back and relax. but when your kid does get ill from one cookie or whatever or affects their behavior in a negative way you have to be more diligent in keeping them safe even when the child is resistent.. I am dealing with that myself.. with my gluten /dairy/soy/legume intolerant kids. I have to make sure they stay safe or they spend days hovering over the toilet..He is a normal child! My child "steals" food that she's not supposed to have when it's in the house. She's 5 and it doesn't matter where the food is, she can climb. So, I've done two things: convince her that eating like a dinosaur is very cool (won't work for an 11 year old) and gotten rid of all the foods that I don't want her to have. No one has to have dairy to survive and if your child is gets sick by eating it but loves it (who doesn't love dairy) then I think it would only be fair to not have it in the house. Sucks, I know.
As far as when your child is not at home, I have the same issues. My child is fed at school (even though she can't bring an orange or nuts to school- processed foods, wheat, artificial sweeteners are a-ok of course) and at the daycare. There is no way for me to get her to refuse all those "foods". So I just rest in the fact that I feed her the best I can at home and that I am the biggest influence in her life. She will make her own decisions, but I can play a big part in how she learns to think about food.
I agree. But even though my child doesn't have diagnosed health problems I still consider wheat, grain, sugar, colour, artificial sweeteners etc as toxic and sickening (I'm rethinking dairy at the moment-but currently the full fat stuff (no milk) seems ok). I notice that my "normal" child does get sick from these foods. From bloating, gas, diarrhea, ear infections, and most noticably, behavioural problems.
My main advice is for the OP to control what they can; which is the food in their own house. Eventually, with the parents influence and with growing up, their child might just get sick of being sick. (That's what finally had to happen to me for me to stop eating toxic food).0 -
That's a difficult age to impose food rules; it probably seems no big deal to him and getting cranky from eating gluten wouldn't be on his radar as a problem. I don't have much to offer except by way of coincidence I saw this post recently http://www.homemademommy.net/2012/10/how-i-taught-my-daughter-about-real-food.html
When I was on vacation last year, there was a local shopping mall with grade 6 school projects, one of which compared cola, tea, and water effect on teeth. Not sure where the kid got the teeth, but after seeing the tooth dissolve in cola within 3 days his conclusions were never to drink soda again.0 -
I think you might have to get rid of the dairy in your own house and go dairy free for awhile. It might make your son feel jealous that you get to have the grownup forbidden food and he can't. And a good talk with his other parents would be important. I don't have much advice for the school situation. Perhaps provide dairy-free snacks and have a talk with his teachers to really keep an eye on him?
I second the jealous part... Maybe make fun treats out out fruit like homemade popcicles, smoothies, let him help, help him to see how delicious the food can be.0 -
Thanks for all the comment/suggestions.
I should mention, we live in Ontario/Canada; so the school providing a snack/food is not all that common (this is actually the first school our kids have gone to where they try to give them any food). Here, parents are required to send a meal and snacks, and so it's actually a little annoying that the school is suddenly providing snacks on Tuesday and Wednesday afternoons. While I recognize that this snack is convenient for some of the parents, from my point of view, I spend my time and money to provide our children with healthy, organic foods and I almost feel like the school is undermining our efforts by offering gluten/dairy/sugar laden food such as cereal, crackers, cheese, granola bars, etc.0 -
It might make your son feel jealous that you get to have the grownup forbidden food and he can't.
Please don't take this the wrong way, I appreciate your comment and I understand what you mean...but to be honest (hopefully this doesn't sound too harsh), there's a part of me that says "too bad"; he's not a baby, he's 12 years old. There are going to be things he can't eat, just like there are things I'd love to eat, but we need to learn to deal with it. He can't drink the milk in the fridge, and I can't pick up steak and lobster at the steakhouse I drive past every night on the way home from work.0 -
Thanks for all the comment/suggestions.
I should mention, we live in Ontario/Canada; so the school providing a snack/food is not all that common (this is actually the first school our kids have gone to where they try to give them any food). Here, parents are required to send a meal and snacks, and so it's actually a little annoying that the school is suddenly providing snacks on Tuesday and Wednesday afternoons. While I recognize that this snack is convenient for some of the parents, from my point of view, I spend my time and money to provide our children with healthy, organic foods and I almost feel like the school is undermining our efforts by offering gluten/dairy/sugar laden food such as cereal, crackers, cheese, granola bars, etc.
I would go and talk to the school. Use peanuts as an analogy and ask would they give peanuts out as a snack knowing that there might be someone with a deathly allergy to it? Sometime just giving them a shock like that might remind them of their culpability and liabilities when they provide snacks without parental consent.0 -
This isn't that unusual. Here in the states, they ask in the elementary schools that you donate a snack of some sort and I think the teacher divides it up for the kids. I don't know how they deal with allergies. I assume if it's a serious one they probably do what we do at our school which is notify all the teachers so they know what can and can't be had by the child. I know that generally, if the allergy is dangerous, the kids are even allowed to carry the epi pen with them.
Keep in mind that most school cafeterias offer selections and a la cart, if the parent doesn't say something - the child can easily buy whatever they want to buy. They even have school stores that sell healthy snacks. Basically, it's not like they try to child proof the school - the expectation is that the school is alerted if the child is too young to know better. If he's 12, and it's not life threatening, I'm not sure that you'll get a strong reaction from the school. Life threatening would involve a letter from the doctor stating that all his teachers need training in something and would probably involve having one table set aside for him which may make him very uncomfortable.
I'd go with finding some really, really good snacks that would keep temptation away for him.0 -
Talk to the school. Tell them what he can't have, and why he can't have it. They should be able to comply with your wishes and help enforce the rules while he is at school and under their care. There is a medical reason why he can't have the foods, and your wishes should be respected.
We live in BC Canada, and our schools have never offered a snack to the kids, thats weird to me. No school here does. We supply lunch and a snack, and the kids do get veggies once a week from local farmers to try. Other then that, nothing. I wouldn't be ok with my kids being fed/offered things at school on a regular basis.
As for the sneaking milk at home, I don't know what to suggest. Punish him for not listening to the rules? I know that sounds harsh, but he is 12. If you tell him not to eat/drink/take something, he is old enough to listen.0 -
Punishing a kid about food just seems like a great way to help setup an eating disorder (or at least some seriously disordered eating). I would just explain to him that any bad behaviors that increase from what he's eating will result in consequences and have them be the same consequences that would exist normally. Might be grounded perpetually, but eventually he'll figure out (probably once his brain matures, so in around 14 years or so, judging by when I felt like I finally got it together) that his actions have direct consequences and that he needs to take responsibility for resolving them one way or another.
Show concrete examples, explain how it affects him and other people, and ask him to come up with solutions together with you, to improve the situation.
The only food/drink item I'd actually punish specifically over would be alcohol or drug related. That is in it's own category though.0
