Ever get that feeling....
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oualum26
Posts: 128 Member
That online dating is the biggest sucker bet in the history of the world?
Before I go on any further, I know many couples that met and eventually got married by meeting online. However, I've been on every site (paid and free) for the better part of 9 years and have never had more than a first date, and even those Are few and far between.
You start to question on whether or not it's you... Who knows... All I know is that I feel like its a huge waste of money... But on the other hand, I don't get out much because of my job, so I feel like its all I can do...
That's my vent for the night. Thanks for reading! Haha
Before I go on any further, I know many couples that met and eventually got married by meeting online. However, I've been on every site (paid and free) for the better part of 9 years and have never had more than a first date, and even those Are few and far between.
You start to question on whether or not it's you... Who knows... All I know is that I feel like its a huge waste of money... But on the other hand, I don't get out much because of my job, so I feel like its all I can do...
That's my vent for the night. Thanks for reading! Haha
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Replies
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Mfp is the best dating website honestly :happy: :laugh:0
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Mfp is the best dating website honestly :happy: :laugh:
Except for everyone lives so far away from each other! Haha0 -
Tell me about it, my girl lives in the other hemisphere. You can make it work despite what people say.0
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tell me about it..that is the story of my dating life to a T.
I did have one "relationship" but it only lasted 6 months..
Meh I give up.0 -
That online dating is the biggest sucker bet in the history of the world?
Before I go on any further, I know many couples that met and eventually got married by meeting online. However, I've been on every site (paid and free) for the better part of 9 years and have never had more than a first date, and even those Are few and far between.
You start to question on whether or not it's you... Who knows... All I know is that I feel like its a huge waste of money... But on the other hand, I don't get out much because of my job, so I feel like its all I can do...
That's my vent for the night. Thanks for reading! Haha
It is worse for men than women. Perhaps you have been overly choosy.
Even with that said, you are probably more likely to find someone better through a good day to day regimen or your friend of friend network.
Online dating can be effective, but even when it is effective, it is inefficient. I'd put the bar scene right next to online dating at the bottom of the barrel.
Online dating can work for a small subset of people, but even that subset would be fine without it. The best fits for online dating are young, fit, twentysomething women who have no kids. Their inboxes are usually flooded. Even with that, they have to weed through a lot of nonsense.0 -
That online dating is the biggest sucker bet in the history of the world?
Before I go on any further, I know many couples that met and eventually got married by meeting online. However, I've been on every site (paid and free) for the better part of 9 years and have never had more than a first date, and even those Are few and far between.
You start to question on whether or not it's you... Who knows... All I know is that I feel like its a huge waste of money... But on the other hand, I don't get out much because of my job, so I feel like its all I can do...
That's my vent for the night. Thanks for reading! Haha
It is worse for men than women. Perhaps you have been overly choosy.
Even with that said, you are probably more likely to find someone better through a good day to day regimen or your friend of friend network.
Online dating can be effective, but even when it is effective, it is inefficient. I'd put the bar scene right next to online dating at the bottom of the barrel.
Online dating can work for a small subset of people, but even that subset would be fine without it. The best fits for online dating are young, fit, twentysomething women who have no kids. Their inboxes are usually flooded. Even with that, they have to weed through a lot of nonsense.
I don't know if I agree with you - I internet dated from after college (22) on and off until about a year ago (32). My inbox was never flooded. I rarely even had dates. I don't think age has anything to do with it - I think it's if you have what guys want. I had a few short and one long (2 years, live in) relationship from online dating but nothing with substance. When I decided to quit trolling around online for men and moved jobs I met my recent guy. I honestly think it was just the right time to meet someone and he was just there. It's true what they say when you quit looking you find that special someone. All those years I "tried" weren't effective because I wasn't really ready. I had to be happy with myself first. I spent a good part of a year concentrating on making me a better me and in the process found who I feel is my "completer piece". It's all about where you are in life and if you are really ready to find that person, I believe.0 -
My personal take on it is this.. like anything in life, a lot boils down to realistic expectations.
If you are dating 5's and 6's in real life, you can't expect to pull a 9 in online dating world. A lot of girls I know immediately get an ego boost when they start online dating because their inbox gets filled up fairly quickly. Granted, they might not be interested in a lot of the guys who e-mail them, but they still get the attention they crave. This attention translates into an inflated ego boost. All of a sudden, instead of going for someone who might be a good match for them, they decide to go for the 8's and 9's. And of course, this either ends up with the girl getting played or completely blown off.
The exact opposite can be said for guys. They might send out a handful of e-mails to women either out of their league (or even in their league), but will rarely receive a response. There have been decent guys on here who will send out 30 emails and not get a single response. This is an ego killer. Hence, many men will go for women who are below their league just to get a date and some action. And of course, this ends with the guy having a moment of clarity and realizing he can do much better.
In both situations, both men and women will eventually end up single. I agree that online dating is not only the bottom of the barrel, but paying members are "set up to fail" from the get-go.0 -
Thanks guys for your input! I think I am going to cancel my EH subscription when it expires. I've gone a week and a half now without being "Matched" (even that drives down your self esteem). They tell me to broaden by search criteria, which I refuse to do. I won't budge on my age range (29 to 35) and I'm sorry, no guy from Nebraska is going to want to start communicating over the internet based on a profile. (at least that's my opinion).
Thanks for the clarity folks. Now goes back to the question... where is Mr. Right... hahahah0 -
Thanks guys for your input! I think I am going to cancel my EH subscription when it expires. I've gone a week and a half now without being "Matched" (even that drives down your self esteem). They tell me to broaden by search criteria, which I refuse to do. I won't budge on my age range (29 to 35) and I'm sorry, no guy from Nebraska is going to want to start communicating over the internet based on a profile. (at least that's my opinion).
Thanks for the clarity folks. Now goes back to the question... where is Mr. Right... hahahah
I know you won't believe me, but Mr. Right(s) are all around you.
If I was a girl, I would comb gyms and sports bars on Sunday for men. I frequent both and they are usually full to the brim with decent guys.0 -
I'll also add.. Meetup.com is pretty good as well!0
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I do agreet with MikeM53082 - When I joined OKCupid and Zoosk, I got all sorts of emails and I couldn't even go through my emails quick enough and more than half wasn't my type or even in my age group (29 to 45). It really is/was an ego boost and I could tell you I was on there every minute that I got an email..lol, sad I know. Now I have quit my subscription to Zook and only have the other and I only go on there once a week.
I have decided to try something new, I love wine and a friend suggested going to wine tastings and wine bars. Something that I never thought about doing. So, I suggest if there is some kind of activity you are passionate about, find out if there are groups in your area and do that. My friend loved Salsa and met her guy at a free class, so you never know.
Good luck!0 -
Thanks guys for your input! I think I am going to cancel my EH subscription when it expires. I've gone a week and a half now without being "Matched" (even that drives down your self esteem). They tell me to broaden by search criteria, which I refuse to do. I won't budge on my age range (29 to 35) and I'm sorry, no guy from Nebraska is going to want to start communicating over the internet based on a profile. (at least that's my opinion).
Thanks for the clarity folks. Now goes back to the question... where is Mr. Right... hahahah
I know you won't believe me, but Mr. Right(s) are all around you.
If I was a girl, I would comb gyms and sports bars on Sunday for men. I frequent both and they are usually full to the brim with decent guys.
Mike, I'm a sports writer. I'm frequently in sports bars. I'm a beat writer for our local college football team. Yet, my social calendar is all but empty.
Also, when you're not the skinny thing at the gym in too tight yoga pants, guys don't look your way. I joined our YMCA where the average age there is 60. And I'm just fine with that. I get to work out in a non self conscience environment!0 -
I put a profile on match and OKCupid, and keep getting emails from Match asking me to subscribe...have yet to do it...I think I will just delete them both and just let nature take it's course. If I meet someone, I meet someone...if not, so be it.
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That online dating is the biggest sucker bet in the history of the world?
Before I go on any further, I know many couples that met and eventually got married by meeting online. However, I've been on every site (paid and free) for the better part of 9 years and have never had more than a first date, and even those Are few and far between.
You start to question on whether or not it's you... Who knows... All I know is that I feel like its a huge waste of money... But on the other hand, I don't get out much because of my job, so I feel like its all I can do...
That's my vent for the night. Thanks for reading! Haha
It is worse for men than women. Perhaps you have been overly choosy.
Even with that said, you are probably more likely to find someone better through a good day to day regimen or your friend of friend network.
Online dating can be effective, but even when it is effective, it is inefficient. I'd put the bar scene right next to online dating at the bottom of the barrel.
Online dating can work for a small subset of people, but even that subset would be fine without it. The best fits for online dating are young, fit, twentysomething women who have no kids. Their inboxes are usually flooded. Even with that, they have to weed through a lot of nonsense.
DM, I asked this on another thread and don't think you saw it, so here it goes again:
In theory I agree with you that meeting people in person to date is best. However, I've been back on the dating scene since January and have yet to meet someone new worth dating in real life. Seems like everyone is married or just not in my age range, or a thousand other factors, and at least I know guys online want to date... Since you preach in-person over online dating so often, do you have any personal success stories or ideas for meeting someone to share with the rest of us? By the way, this is not sarcasm, I'm sincerely interested. I assume you wouldn't be touting it if it hasn't worked for you personally on numerous occasions.0 -
I'm bored....lucky for you guys! Lol
While I agree meeting someone in person through friends, work or hell...the grocery store is best, it's not always realistic. I've had good luck online dating and I'm not any of those things listed. I'm 40. I have kids. I'm not perfectly thin. But....I'm dang fun.
Don't give up on it just yet....
I really don't like EH. Too expensive and their matches are crap. Match and POF seemed the best to me and I saw a lot of the sane profiles on both. Yea POF has some stinkers....but so does real life.0 -
Ask yourself a couple of questions.
Do you expect to run into someone in everyday life on a regular basis and have things click?
Did you ever try or have any high regard for newspaper personals back in the 80s or 90s?
If the answer to both of these is,as I suspect,no...then you have the answer for why this is bugging you.
You have accepted online dating sites as being normal and feel that in taking a bit of personal risk to join them something should have happened.
The reality is that while it puts you in a place where meeting a guy is the mission it does not change the realities of the world in that all avenues can be rewarding or frustrating.
Just look at it as another tool,not a guarantee or a shortcut.0 -
I truly think Meetup.com is the way to go. It puts you in real life situations where everyone else is also looking to meet people -- whether friends or to date. And likely since you are part of the same group, you have at least some interests in common already.0
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Thanks guys for your input! I think I am going to cancel my EH subscription when it expires. I've gone a week and a half now without being "Matched" (even that drives down your self esteem). They tell me to broaden by search criteria, which I refuse to do. I won't budge on my age range (29 to 35) and I'm sorry, no guy from Nebraska is going to want to start communicating over the internet based on a profile. (at least that's my opinion).
Thanks for the clarity folks. Now goes back to the question... where is Mr. Right... hahahah
I know you won't believe me, but Mr. Right(s) are all around you.
If I was a girl, I would comb gyms and sports bars on Sunday for men. I frequent both and they are usually full to the brim with decent guys.
Nah, just go to your local feedstore on Saturday or Sunday mornings at coffee time one of the following is bound to happen:
1. He'll be sitting on a feed sack
2. He be the son of a guy sitting on a feed sack
3. He'll be the grandson of a guy sitting on a feed sack
And you can't go wrong with a good ol' country boy.... a real one, not a Justin Beiber who wears one because it's cool.
Check their boots though, if they are too clean.............NEXT!!!!!
Edit: typos0 -
Thanks guys for your input! I think I am going to cancel my EH subscription when it expires. I've gone a week and a half now without being "Matched" (even that drives down your self esteem). They tell me to broaden by search criteria, which I refuse to do. I won't budge on my age range (29 to 35) and I'm sorry, no guy from Nebraska is going to want to start communicating over the internet based on a profile. (at least that's my opinion).
Thanks for the clarity folks. Now goes back to the question... where is Mr. Right... hahahah
I know you won't believe me, but Mr. Right(s) are all around you.
If I was a girl, I would comb gyms and sports bars on Sunday for men. I frequent both and they are usually full to the brim with decent guys.
Nah, just go to your local feedstore on Saturday or Sunday mornings at coffee time one of the following is bound to happen:
1. He'll be sitting on a feed sack
2. He be the son of a guy sitting on a feed sack
3. He'll be the grandson of a guy sitting on a feed sack
And you can't go wrong with a good ol' country boy.... a real one, not a Justin Beiber who wears one because it's cool.
Check their boots though, if they are too clean.............NEXT!!!!!
Edit: typos
Well hello there.
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Thanks guys for your input! I think I am going to cancel my EH subscription when it expires. I've gone a week and a half now without being "Matched" (even that drives down your self esteem). They tell me to broaden by search criteria, which I refuse to do. I won't budge on my age range (29 to 35) and I'm sorry, no guy from Nebraska is going to want to start communicating over the internet based on a profile. (at least that's my opinion).
Thanks for the clarity folks. Now goes back to the question... where is Mr. Right... hahahah
I know you won't believe me, but Mr. Right(s) are all around you.
If I was a girl, I would comb gyms and sports bars on Sunday for men. I frequent both and they are usually full to the brim with decent guys.
Mike, I'm a sports writer. I'm frequently in sports bars. I'm a beat writer for our local college football team. Yet, my social calendar is all but empty.
Also, when you're not the skinny thing at the gym in too tight yoga pants, guys don't look your way. I joined our YMCA where the average age there is 60. And I'm just fine with that. I get to work out in a non self conscience environment!
Agree with you on that. I'm writing this from the gym lol and the only girls that get talked to are 1) tall 2) very thin 3) wearing lulu lemon. The only time a man has talked to me at the gym was to yell at me that he wasn't finished using a machine. Lol and I rarely wear headphones anymore.
I don't think I'm terrible looking by any means, but I get the impression that if a guy is gonna approach a girl in person, he'd rather see others approaching the prettiest girl there...like an ego boost. I don't think women operate the same way. We're more concerned with the guys personality (and not gonna lie, height). I've had crushes on guys that my friends are like "what? Why him?"
OP you are very pretty though! Just so you know!0
