tell me about it..that is the story of my dating life to a T.
I did have one "relationship" but it only lasted 6 months..
Meh I give up.

That online dating is the biggest sucker bet in the history of the world?

Before I go on any further, I know many couples that met and eventually got married by meeting online. However, I've been on every site (paid and free) for the better part of 9 years and have never had more than a first date, and even those Are few and far between.

You start to question on whether or not it's you... Who knows... All I know is that I feel like its a huge waste of money... But on the other hand, I don't get out much because of my job, so I feel like its all I can do...

That's my vent for the night. Thanks for reading! Haha

It is worse for men than women. Perhaps you have been overly choosy.

Even with that said, you are probably more likely to find someone better through a good day to day regimen or your friend of friend network.

Online dating can be effective, but even when it is effective, it is inefficient. I'd put the bar scene right next to online dating at the bottom of the barrel.

Online dating can work for a small subset of people, but even that subset would be fine without it. The best fits for online dating are young, fit, twentysomething women who have no kids. Their inboxes are usually flooded. Even with that, they have to weed through a lot of nonsense.

I don't know if I agree with you - I internet dated from after college (22) on and off until about a year ago (32). My inbox was never flooded. I rarely even had dates. I don't think age has anything to do with it - I think it's if you have what guys want. I had a few short and one long (2 years, live in) relationship from online dating but nothing with substance. When I decided to quit trolling around online for men and moved jobs I met my recent guy. I honestly think it was just the right time to meet someone and he was just there. It's true what they say when you quit looking you find that special someone. All those years I "tried" weren't effective because I wasn't really ready. I had to be happy with myself first. I spent a good part of a year concentrating on making me a better me and in the process found who I feel is my "completer piece". It's all about where you are in life and if you are really ready to find that person, I believe.

I'll also add.. Meetup.com is pretty good as well!

That online dating is the biggest sucker bet in the history of the world?

Before I go on any further, I know many couples that met and eventually got married by meeting online. However, I've been on every site (paid and free) for the better part of 9 years and have never had more than a first date, and even those Are few and far between.

You start to question on whether or not it's you... Who knows... All I know is that I feel like its a huge waste of money... But on the other hand, I don't get out much because of my job, so I feel like its all I can do...

That's my vent for the night. Thanks for reading! Haha

It is worse for men than women. Perhaps you have been overly choosy.

Even with that said, you are probably more likely to find someone better through a good day to day regimen or your friend of friend network.

Online dating can be effective, but even when it is effective, it is inefficient. I'd put the bar scene right next to online dating at the bottom of the barrel.

Online dating can work for a small subset of people, but even that subset would be fine without it. The best fits for online dating are young, fit, twentysomething women who have no kids. Their inboxes are usually flooded. Even with that, they have to weed through a lot of nonsense.

DM, I asked this on another thread and don't think you saw it, so here it goes again:

In theory I agree with you that meeting people in person to date is best. However, I've been back on the dating scene since January and have yet to meet someone new worth dating in real life. Seems like everyone is married or just not in my age range, or a thousand other factors, and at least I know guys online want to date... Since you preach in-person over online dating so often, do you have any personal success stories or ideas for meeting someone to share with the rest of us? By the way, this is not sarcasm, I'm sincerely interested. I assume you wouldn't be touting it if it hasn't worked for you personally on numerous occasions.

Ask yourself a couple of questions.

Do you expect to run into someone in everyday life on a regular basis and have things click?

Did you ever try or have any high regard for newspaper personals back in the 80s or 90s?

If the answer to both of these is,as I suspect,no...then you have the answer for why this is bugging you.
You have accepted online dating sites as being normal and feel that in taking a bit of personal risk to join them something should have happened.
The reality is that while it puts you in a place where meeting a guy is the mission it does not change the realities of the world in that all avenues can be rewarding or frustrating.
Just look at it as another tool,not a guarantee or a shortcut.

Thanks guys for your input! I think I am going to cancel my EH subscription when it expires. I've gone a week and a half now without being "Matched" (even that drives down your self esteem). They tell me to broaden by search criteria, which I refuse to do. I won't budge on my age range (29 to 35) and I'm sorry, no guy from Nebraska is going to want to start communicating over the internet based on a profile. (at least that's my opinion).

Thanks for the clarity folks. Now goes back to the question... where is Mr. Right... hahahah

I know you won't believe me, but Mr. Right(s) are all around you.

If I was a girl, I would comb gyms and sports bars on Sunday for men. I frequent both and they are usually full to the brim with decent guys.

Nah, just go to your local feedstore on Saturday or Sunday mornings at coffee time one of the following is bound to happen:
1. He'll be sitting on a feed sack
2. He be the son of a guy sitting on a feed sack
3. He'll be the grandson of a guy sitting on a feed sack
And you can't go wrong with a good ol' country boy.... a real one, not a Justin Beiber who wears one because it's cool.
Check their boots though, if they are too clean.............NEXT!!!!!


Edit: typos

Thanks guys for your input! I think I am going to cancel my EH subscription when it expires. I've gone a week and a half now without being "Matched" (even that drives down your self esteem). They tell me to broaden by search criteria, which I refuse to do. I won't budge on my age range (29 to 35) and I'm sorry, no guy from Nebraska is going to want to start communicating over the internet based on a profile. (at least that's my opinion).

Thanks for the clarity folks. Now goes back to the question... where is Mr. Right... hahahah

I know you won't believe me, but Mr. Right(s) are all around you.

If I was a girl, I would comb gyms and sports bars on Sunday for men. I frequent both and they are usually full to the brim with decent guys.

Mike, I'm a sports writer. I'm frequently in sports bars. I'm a beat writer for our local college football team. Yet, my social calendar is all but empty.

Also, when you're not the skinny thing at the gym in too tight yoga pants, guys don't look your way. I joined our YMCA where the average age there is 60. And I'm just fine with that. I get to work out in a non self conscience environment!

Agree with you on that. I'm writing this from the gym lol and the only girls that get talked to are 1) tall 2) very thin 3) wearing lulu lemon. The only time a man has talked to me at the gym was to yell at me that he wasn't finished using a machine. Lol and I rarely wear headphones anymore.

I don't think I'm terrible looking by any means, but I get the impression that if a guy is gonna approach a girl in person, he'd rather see others approaching the prettiest girl there...like an ego boost. I don't think women operate the same way. We're more concerned with the guys personality (and not gonna lie, height). I've had crushes on guys that my friends are like "what? Why him?"

OP you are very pretty though! Just so you know!

To the OP: you are too damn cute for this to be true! Have your friends weigh in on this... are you sure you're not being too picky? (don't compromise the absolute necessities... but for instance a man no shorter than 6' is not really a necessity)

I truly think Meetup.com is the way to go. It puts you in real life situations where everyone else is also looking to meet people -- whether friends or to date. And likely since you are part of the same group, you have at least some interests in common already.

Meetups are a distinct world.

I found them to be a mixed bag for purposes of finding people to date. The main advantage of Meetups is getting out in front of people and getting the in person experience right away. However, in a typical Meetup, only about 1-2 people who attend the event are going to meet your qualifications, whatever they are. So you're showing up to an event for the privilege of talking to 1-2 people.

You have to avoid groups on Meetup specifically labeled "Singles". These groups tend to be unstable and also produce some of the worst human behaviors and quality of singles. Many desirable female singles are turned off by what goes on in these groups, making the selection poor for males. These groups are usually middle aged divorcees.

Look for common interest groups. There are many generic common interests like 20s/30s, Professionals, etc. These generic interest groups are not singles per se, but most attendees are singles, especially if the group is having a bar mix n' mingle type event. No person in a relationship would logically go to the bar mix n mingle type events, because working a room is usually pretty unpleasant. The bar mix n' mingle Meetup events are advantage over a random night at the bar, because people are easier to talk to due to common group membership, but the bar mix n mingle events can be quite emotionally draining.

The best Meetup events involve you doing something you enjoy. For me, I'm an athletic type, so the best Meetups are ones where I am playing sand volleyball, tennis, etc. So I'd recommend focusing on Meetups that involve activities you like rather than the Happy Hour/bar mix n' mingle type events. You may not meet someone that way, but at least you'll enjoy yourself.

Well hello there.

I just burst out laughing at that emoticon!! bahahahahahaha

DM, I asked this on another thread and don't think you saw it, so here it goes again:

In theory I agree with you that meeting people in person to date is best. However, I've been back on the dating scene since January and have yet to meet someone new worth dating in real life. Seems like everyone is married or just not in my age range, or a thousand other factors, and at least I know guys online want to date... Since you preach in-person over online dating so often, do you have any personal success stories or ideas for meeting someone to share with the rest of us? By the way, this is not sarcasm, I'm sincerely interested. I assume you wouldn't be touting it if it hasn't worked for you personally on numerous occasions.

Yes, I did miss this. So thanks for re-posting.

In theory, you agree with me. In practice, what I may suggest is to evaluate your day to day regimen and perhaps make some changes. Day to day regimens are not set in stone.

I have some success stories from in person. As for ideas, I have fleshed out my perspective on Meetups (a distinct world that has its own nuances). I think the best ways for meeting people is to talk to everyone you know, tell them you are single, and ask for referrals/fix ups. Also, through common interests, but make sure the interest is something where your target market would. A woman into knitting likely isn't going to find a man there. A man into Star Trek and science fiction stuff is going to have a real hard time finding compatible women.

I more tout in person, because I don't think highly of the online process from experience. Nor do I feel all that warm and fuzzy about the singles bar scene.

Did you ever try or have any high regard for newspaper personals back in the 80s or 90s?

This is a great perspective. Online dating is simply the evolution of that avenue from back in the day. It should be viewed through the same lens. I get the sense that many members of this group weren't on the singles scene back in the 80s/90s. The singles scene changes dramatically over time. I would call a generation on the singles scene about 5-7 years, because the pool of singles changes pretty rapidly.

Yes, I did miss this. So thanks for re-posting.

In theory, you agree with me. In practice, what I may suggest is to evaluate your day to day regimen and perhaps make some changes. Day to day regimens are not set in stone.

I have some success stories from in person. As for ideas, I have fleshed out my perspective on Meetups (a distinct world that has its own nuances). I think the best ways for meeting people is to talk to everyone you know, tell them you are single, and ask for referrals/fix ups. Also, through common interests, but make sure the interest is something where your target market would. A woman into knitting likely isn't going to find a man there. A man into Star Trek and science fiction stuff is going to have a real hard time finding compatible women.

I more tout in person, because I don't think highly of the online process from experience. Nor do I feel all that warm and fuzzy about the singles bar scene.

You freaking crack me up. I would date the hell out of you! lol

Thanks Jennifer! :flowerforyou: