I would have gone to live with my father instead of staying with my mother when the option was presented to me after their divorce. Being raised by a military man instead of a mentally ill woman would have changed just about everything in my life, in my opinion. I was too young (12-13) to know what kind of impact that would have on my development and how I deal with things in my day to day life.

No. Life is so random if you change one event things could go into a million other directions.

I think the way I turned out I like, so I will take the good with the bad.

I want to say I would NEVER have agreed to let the ex hubby have custody of our girls, it is SO hard being a part time parent, but I see the way they are being raised (he and the second wife are doing a great job) and I wonder if I would or not...TOUGH decision! But looking at my 17 YO, she has such a maturity about her, I know 20 YOs that don't have her maturity...hmmm-I just don't know.

The one thing I would have changed is getting help with losing weight very early on. So like back in high school or at least college. Nipped things in the bud and corrected things much earlier.

I could only imagine the butterfly effect that being fit would have had for me. I might actually have self esteem and confidence, like where I was at, who I am, or who I was with.

No. Life is so random if you change one event things could go into a million other directions.

I think the way I turned out I like, so I will take the good with the bad.

^^^^^^ This I like who I am no need to butterfly effect my past

Yep. Agree 100%.

Same! I'm glad I figured a lot of stuff out the hard way... Otherwise I'd still be prancing around drunk and forgetting where I was last night. Instead, I'm proud to say that yesterday I spent my 21st birthday with my family and at school.

No. Life is so random if you change one event things could go into a million other directions.

I think the way I turned out I like, so I will take the good with the bad.

^^^^^^ This I like who I am no need to butterfly effect my past

Yep. Agree 100%.

The only thing I sometimes wish I could change is not following that girl on that hike which resulted in the fall and messing up my back in my early 20's. It lead to me to avoiding almost all physical activity which was 1 of many factors to me getting as big and heavy as I was in the past. However it's mostly gone. I do have days I wake up and I am stiff, but nothing a bit of stretching and moving about won't help.

No. Life is so random if you change one event things could go into a million other directions.

I think the way I turned out I like, so I will take the good with the bad.

^^^^^^ This I like who I am no need to butterfly effect my past

Yep. Agree 100%.

Same! I'm glad I figured a lot of stuff out the hard way... Otherwise I'd still be prancing around drunk and forgetting where I was last night. Instead, I'm proud to say that yesterday I spent my 21st birthday with my family and at school.

Happy belated Birthday! :flowerforyou:

I have no regrets :flowerforyou:

I regret being in a long term relationship all throughout high school. I should of screwed anything and everything that walked.

I think being in a committed relationship at a young age really messed with my head. I'm always felt that I "missed out" on something. Now, I have zero interest in settling down because I have the fear I might miss out on more.

I regret not sucking it up and spending more time with my father even though I hated his girlfriend. I lost him too soon and I will never get that time back.

I would not have tried to make a go of it with the dairy farm,it could not continue.
How that would have changed things is only a guess but would not have abandoned the parents and given how quickly they became dependent on me it is likely life would have unfolded the same way no matter.

I do have one solid regret though. When I was 16, at my first job, I was sexually harassed by a 30-year-old man who had a girlfriend and a child. He offered to do things with me that a 16-year-old should not be doing, and especially not be doing with a 30-year-old man. I regret not speaking up for myself. I wish I had. I just hope he isn't out there still harassing other girls.

I didn't think I was into the idea of regrets or no regrets until I read this. I completely relate. I was 17- 18 and this *kitten* was one of my bosses. It was so disgusting that I was in full denial for awhile. Like- I must not be understanding what he's saying because he has a regional accent, or the 4 foot berth I've given him when walking by must not be enough because he's putting his hands on me. This must be a huge misunderstanding? Eventually, I went to his boss and he promptly blamed me and did nothing. I regret not kicking some *kitten* if only to stop it from happening to others.

I'm glad you tried to speak up! I was not so brave. I just wish I had been so other girls could be saved from the creep.

I do have one solid regret though. When I was 16, at my first job, I was sexually harassed by a 30-year-old man who had a girlfriend and a child. He offered to do things with me that a 16-year-old should not be doing, and especially not be doing with a 30-year-old man. I regret not speaking up for myself. I wish I had. I just hope he isn't out there still harassing other girls.

I didn't think I was into the idea of regrets or no regrets until I read this. I completely relate. I was 17- 18 and this *kitten* was one of my bosses. It was so disgusting that I was in full denial for awhile. Like- I must not be understanding what he's saying because he has a regional accent, or the 4 foot berth I've given him when walking by must not be enough because he's putting his hands on me. This must be a huge misunderstanding? Eventually, I went to his boss and he promptly blamed me and did nothing. I regret not kicking some *kitten* if only to stop it from happening to others.

I'm glad you tried to speak up! I was not so brave. I just wish I had been so other girls could be saved from the creep.

You know, even though there is the"should have done something for others" piece, it's probably not actually worth having regrets about it because then they still have an element of power. Gross. I need to reconsider whether this should really be a regret. For you, 16 is waaay too young for there to be any expectation of thinking for the societal good when you're being targeted and shamed, so don't think you weren't brave. You were trying to survive going to work, and you were being a kid.

But also- I'm not one for sitting back and feeling smug about other people's deficiencies with the exception that this guy had to have had an iq like 2 standard deviations below average, and he'll never grow up and out of that. Forever dumb and probably still has an unironic mullet. Ha.

I wish I would have lifted weights - similarly to what I'm doing now - when I was 15. I was athletic, but just not strong enough. That's slowly changing over the past six months.

No regrets on my marriage, as I have two healthy, happy, beautiful, intelligent, athletic kids who mean the world to me. So that actually worked out quite well. :-)

Looking forward, I can see myself regretting my excessive travel schedule due to work, and hence not spending enough time with my kids. Perhaps also sacrificing my personal life for my professional life, since it's very hard to find someone and develop a proper relationship with my brutal travel schedule. So I'm hoping to restructure things a bit to correct that.

For example, I just bought a piece of land in the mountains and plan on building a cottage there in 2013. 100% wood, with a nice, big fireplace, a terrace for drinking coffee outside in the mornings. It's only 20 minutes from the kids' school, as well. I've always wanted something like this, and I'm planning on spending much more time in the CR once it's completed. More of the quiet, simple life. Perhaps grow my own veggies, etc.

--P

For example, I just bought a piece of land in the mountains and plan on building a cottage there in 2013. 100% wood, with a nice, big fireplace, a terrace for drinking coffee outside in the mornings. It's only 20 minutes from the kids' school, as well. I've always wanted something like this, and I'm planning on spending much more time in the CR once it's completed. More of the quiet, simple life. Perhaps grow my own veggies, etc.

--P

Oooooooooo that sounds fab!! Can I bring some friends?? :bigsmile:

Yeah really lets have a single peeps house warming party :drinker: :bigsmile: