Binges just ruin your entire day?
wattssal000
Posts: 62 Member
I was feeling good about myself and life in general and then I binged. Immediately I become depressed. Today I continued to overeat and I am depressed and just don't like myself anymore.
How is it that I can be ok with who I am one day and then the next day just not want to be here anymore? Tired of food ruling my life. I get so angry at myself for falling into these depressions. I have a boyfriend that loves me more than anything and when I have days like this I want to just be alone because no one wants to be with someone who is in a bad mood, crying and just not liking themselves. I worry that if I don't get over these issues I will lose him and more improtantly I guess have to live with myself and this cycle of hating myself. I go to counseling, I am trying to see a dietitian again but when I make my decision to eat everything else just falls to the side and my outlook on life is just in the crapper.
I don't need any replies to this post I guess I am just looking to vent on a bad day.
Thanks
How is it that I can be ok with who I am one day and then the next day just not want to be here anymore? Tired of food ruling my life. I get so angry at myself for falling into these depressions. I have a boyfriend that loves me more than anything and when I have days like this I want to just be alone because no one wants to be with someone who is in a bad mood, crying and just not liking themselves. I worry that if I don't get over these issues I will lose him and more improtantly I guess have to live with myself and this cycle of hating myself. I go to counseling, I am trying to see a dietitian again but when I make my decision to eat everything else just falls to the side and my outlook on life is just in the crapper.
I don't need any replies to this post I guess I am just looking to vent on a bad day.
Thanks
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Replies
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I know exactly how you feel. I, like you, have a boyfriend who is wonderful in almost every way. But my binge eating is taking over my life, to the point where I felt suicidal some days because I was so sad and dissappointed in myself for binging. Even as I gained weight, I couldn't stop eating. I was absolutely addicted (and I still am).
I, too, worry about losing my boyfriend. The weight is catching up with me--- and lately he's been a bit distant. I'm so scared he's acting weird because of my weight. But even then, not binging is a struggle for me.
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I get the same issues when I binge. I recently had over a month of binge eating, purging as well, and although I didn't go near the scale, and still haven't, I know I have gained weight. Probably not as much as some others would have, given I was consuming in excess of 6000 calories a day+ during that period, with no exercise at all, but enough that my days were ruined. You binge, then all you want to do is hide away and binge more, because the initial binge made you feel so crap about yourself. I guess it comes down to self esteem being based too much on weight and appearance, and obviously a binge makes you feel so heavy and unattractive.
Only way I have broken the cycle each and everytime, has been forcing myself to get up and go to the gym for a hard session one morning, as that seems to somehow give me the resolve to resist the binge, and reduces the appetite for more carbs, presumably because you are working them out of your system.
I am DREADING christmas.0 -
I guess it comes down to self esteem being based too much on weight and appearance, and obviously a binge makes you feel so heavy and unattractive.
Only way I have broken the cycle each and everytime, has been forcing myself to get up and go to the gym for a hard session one morning, as that seems to somehow give me the resolve to resist the binge, and reduces the appetite for more carbs, presumably because you are working them out of your system.
I am DREADING christmas.
EXACTLY.
One big issue is that we rely our self esteem so much on our calories, weight, and clothing sizes. All those lifeless numbers, it can destroy our happiness.
Gym helps me, sometimes. If I workout hard I am less likely to binge because I don't want to waste the progress I just made/ the calories burned.... plus exercise reduces my appetite and makes me feel good about myself.
I'm worried about Christmas... too.... =( I feel like I have no self control sometimes!0 -
All I've done lately is binge and the holidays alwaysalwaysalways make it worse. I hope this year will be different, ya know? It's worse because everyone comes over for these holidays and sees you doesn't help when you already feel terrible about yourself. 0
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Bump to everyone!!!!!! TOTALLY RELATE TO THIS0
