Please help...i need some support!

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Hi, I am not new to MFP but this is my first post. I use MFP everyday, apart from days where I am horrendously 'naughty'. I have struggled with my eating habits for some time now but i am not overweight (YET). I am 5ft 2 and weigh about 6stone 8lbs at the minute. I used to not eat much at all and I think after treating my body like cr@p by starving it of food for so long, I have cracked and tend to binge about 4/5 times a week. I feel disgusting and full of self hatred. im scared to go into the kitchen because i know what will happen, scared to get drunk coz il binge, but get drunk often to forget about food and release myself...which inevitably leads to a binge....horrid HORRID reoccuring vicious circle :(

I eat evrything in sight, in private obviously. often getting up in the middle of the night...and then i feel horrendous. I hide food and eat it, often tripling my daily MFP calorie intake. I feel disgusting. I have put on 6lbs in a few weeks and im scared, really scared of putting the weight on.

I need some support and advice from anyone willing to give it to me and would really appreciate your thoughts. Not telling anyone this has made it harder so I suppose this is the first step. I just want to eat normal and not live in this hellhole of binging...!! if anything i would prefer to be what i was like previously, at least i wasn't worrying about putting on weight.

Replies

  • greekygirl
    greekygirl Posts: 448 Member
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    Hi There,
    I replied to your post and it didn't show up. I don't know where it went. Anyway, I'm sorry you are struggling, I am too and I can relate to what you wrote. I sent you a friend request.
  • Graelwyn75
    Graelwyn75 Posts: 4,404 Member
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    at 92Ibs, your body is starving. That is why you are binge eating.
    You are at an unnaturally low weight.
    The binge eating will stop when your body feels it is at a safe weight, and when it is getting the nutrients it needs to survive.
    I suggest you seek professional help for your eating disorder before you do permanent damage.
  • jewel1013
    jewel1013 Posts: 20 Member
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    I really recommend seeking face to face support. I too am worried about the low weight. Of course I'm not sure how old you are. however, if your are staying hungry that is probably contributing to a binge. It really is a vicious cycle. one that is hard to undo once you are in it. I know from first hand experience. I spent a good portion of my life restricting calories and being hungry all the time to complete out of control with food. There are eating disorder support groups. Online is nice, but in person is so much better to break the cycle.
  • jewel1013
    jewel1013 Posts: 20 Member
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    If you are the east coast there is a great workshop @ kripalua coming up.
  • sconns21
    sconns21 Posts: 92 Member
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    I am 5ft 3" and when I was 7 stone 10 pounds I was really thin and people were worried. I think 6 stone 8 pounds is quite underweight. I know it is easy for me to say but you are underweight and shouldn't worry.

    If you are overly concerned about your body at this weight I think it would be of benefit to see a counsellor who specialises in eating disorders/body dis-morphia. You need to learn to love your body.

    I know how you feel as I am not overweight at 8 stone 12 at the moment but I feel fat. I was always happy hovering around 7 stone 10- 8 stone though. What weight do you think you need to reach to feel happier in yourself?

    I hope this doesn't sound negative I would like to give you constructive support.
  • n0morexcuses
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    Hi there.

    I can completely relate to this post. In the past, I was really thin & I got that way because of a fad diet. I wasn't eating right, I was skipping meals, etc. all because I wanted to see a specific number on a scale. However, that eventually caught up with me & I fell head first into binge eating. Literally, I gained back ALL of the weight I had lost & then about an extra 70 pounds. :\

    Luckily for you, you're realizing this problem NOW before you get to where I am, haha.

    Binge eating is a horrible cycle & I feel completely awful for anyone who struggles with it.

    I think that the first step, & the most important step, is to realize that your weight is JUST a number. You should ditch the scale for awhile & just focus on eating healthier. Every day, make a promise to yourself that you're going to be good to yourself & take care of YOU. Sometimes we binge eat because our bodies are telling us that they're hungry. Are you eating enough throughout the day? Have you tried planning out your meals ahead of time & getting your eating on a schedule? I find that eating every 4 hours help me to stay full & on track.

    Also, you should try to have a little fun with this. I know you're probably like ...what?! But, for real! For each day you get through it without binge eating, keep track. Try to increase your 'high score'. I made a poster board for how many days I've 'conquered'. Just keep thinking of how great it will feel to see that you've gotten your 'score' to 10 days... 30 days... 365 days!

    I had to restart today because I binged for the past two days but you know what? That's okay. This is a process & it's going to take time. We're human. We make mistakes. But you have to pick yourself up, dust yourself off, & get back into the fight. You CAN do this.

    Make a promise, right here & right now, that you're going to end the binge eating. Sure, there will be some days where you may go over your calorie goal for the day... But, just because you get off track does NOT mean you have to go on a 2,000+ calorie binge. It's all about getting in that mentality of being GOOD to yourself.

    I think you should try to reach out to someone you know personally! I have one good friend that I tell everything to... It seems like I'm held more accountable when I tell them "I'm not going to do this anymore". Get with someone who can hold you against your word :)

    I really hope I've helped or made you feel a little better. I know how emotionally/mentally draining binge eating can be... Like I said, I've struggled with it my entire life & am paying the price for it now. If you ever need someone- I'm always here! Keep your head up, girl. You ARE going to get through this; I promise.