Because if there’s one thing I know to be true, it’s that you can’t always tell a person’s best qualities right away.

If what matters most in the long run are character, consistency, kindness, honesty, and loyalty – when exactly do you expect to SEE these qualities?

You don’t see them across a crowded room at a party.

You don’t see them in an online dating profile.

You don’t see them over drinks on a first date.

All you see at the beginning is the “show” – how tall, how cute, how smart, how funny, how accomplished. The guy who puts on a good show gets a second date.

But you must acknowledge that a man’s ability to wow you on a first date says very little about what kind of life partner he’s going to be.

That can only be revealed over the course of time.
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As always, I’m not telling you to go out with a man to whom you’re not attracted.

I’m telling you that presuming a very basic level of attraction – he’s decent looking, somewhat intelligent, and eager to go out with you – it costs you NOTHING to reply to his email, talk on the phone or go on a first date.

Eliminating all men as “not your type” before you meet them only makes “there are no good men out there” into a self-fulfilling prophecy.