Dumper or dumpee*
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I've been both. Now I'm more of the dumper. I'll just be up front with the guy if I'm not feeling it. I prefer to be dealt with in that manner as well. Don't string me along.0
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Rarely the dumper, or the poofer, but the one being poofed on.
Edit to just fix how I wrote it lol0 -
Having been the dumpee before, (divorce, via ex's affair with a "friend") I do admit to now being more the dumper-type. Survival mechanism, no question.0
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Although it's been about 50/50 I think I'm quite jaded. Having a broken heart can definitely put a different spin on things, puts things in a different perspective. After one painful experience I've definitely been more quick to be the dumper (you can't reject me if I reject you first).0
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I'm usually the dumper... but the ones I fell for MAN I fell for them HARD!!
I've always been told that guys tend to treat you like dirt when they're losing interest, to get you to dump them so they don't have to look like the bad guy. I suspect that many of the guys I've "dumped" were doing just that so not sure that really "counts" as dumping them.0 -
I was recently a dumper, but, a direct question prompted a direct answer... and, as often happens, it quickly becomes either, 'I said' Versus 'You said' - Or (In my case), vague and wishy washy and unclear, due to hurt feelings on both sides, lack of trust, inability to communicate, increased frustration, anger and confusion...then it's fights; or, (in my case) you just stop acknowledging and walk away from each other...No closure and feelings in tatters.
At some point you're gonna be on both sides of this.. Getting involved wholeheartedly makes you vulnerable to that!
With the exception of total mismatches, where one person is clearly unsuitable for a relationship; breakups REALLY suck (but subsequently allow you to learn more about yourself, if you make the effort to) and that is the cost/gamble for such an amazing shared sense of existence... "Togetherness".
You just have to always do everything you can not to affect future relationships from previous pains..
Each one is unique and special and needs to be nurtured by both people involved for it to work in the long run...0 -
Both?
Lately, though, in dating, I have become the dumper. I think it's because I don't generally like to date just to be dating. If I can't see a potential for a relationship, which I can usually tell pretty quickly if there is one or not, then I am forthright about it. Some men are okay with it and move on. Some act like they don't hear the words coming out of my mouth and continue to pursue a relationship anyway. Some say, "Well, we can be friends..." when they really mean "just get to know me and give me a chance, and I'll show you" and I really mean, "Honestly, dude, you're a nice guy and I'm sure someone will love you, but it's not going to be me. EVER."
But sometimes... when I get scared... because I like a guy too much... I do something or pull back from him in some way... so that he will break things off with me. I like him, so I don't want to be the one to break things off, yet the whole situation scares me to death, so I start questioning everything and doubting and "break up with him" and then ask for another chance, but by that time, he's fed up with me and my indecisiveness, so he "breaks up with me"... But usually... later on... I realize that he wasn't really as great as I gave him credit for being in the first place, and that I'm actually better off without him, that maybe my fears were rational.
I'm a mess. A complete mess.
Says the future crazy cat lady...0 -
I'm usually the dumper... but the ones I fell for MAN I fell for them HARD!!
I've always been told that guys tend to treat you like dirt when they're losing interest, to get you to dump them so they don't have to look like the bad guy. I suspect that many of the guys I've "dumped" were doing just that so not sure that really "counts" as dumping them.
I'm actually guilty of doing that myself.0 -
Well my Ex-husband dumped me via a dear John letter.
I dumped my LT live in BF
Only 2 relationships I've had soI guess I'm 50/50
My ex husband sent me a text.0
