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The DM hypothesis made it to another advise column

Posts: 1,732 Member
edited January 5 in Social Groups
Well ladies, online dating pretty much sucks unless you're young and hot!

http://www.illinoistimes.com/Springfield/article-10766-jenny-from-the-blocked.html

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  • Posts: 1,432 Member
    I feel like this is about to be a train wreck.
    And I'd like to watch.
  • Posts: 1,732 Member
    me too. That's why I posted it. I am just the messenger. I have no opinion (that I am willing to express).
  • Posts: 1,199 Member
    draft_lens19334037module158209413photo_1333577022.jpg

    edit: couldn't find a picture of a cat eating popcorn.. this is the best I could do.
  • Posts: 5,798 Member
    Mostly good points, really. No one was being horribly rude or offensive - and it is truth. Young hot 22-year-olds get more messages. No one is debating that.

    The only part where I disagree is that I don't think there's a reason to not do both. People are acting like you have to pick one, either online dating or offline. If you have a profile on POF then clearly you can't go to a sports bar and meet someone there, or if you are flirting with guys in line at the grocery store then you have deleted your profile from OKC. It doesn't make sense to me to NOT try both. Sure you might not get a hit, worst case scenario you have a few bad dates. Best case scenario you find someone. What's the big deal?
  • Posts: 5,798 Member
    draft_lens19334037module158209413photo_1333577022.jpg

    edit: couldn't find a picture of a cat eating popcorn.. this is the best I could do.

    YESSSSSS I love the fat kitty cat!
  • Posts: 380 Member
    I don't see anything objectionable in that article. I think it makes a lot of good points. It is also written by a woman.
  • Posts: 9,307 Member
    Since it does not recognize a world beyond the end of her urban nose it has little innate truth or falseness to me.
  • Posts: 1,432 Member
    draft_lens19334037module158209413photo_1333577022.jpg

    edit: couldn't find a picture of a cat eating popcorn.. this is the best I could do.

    It's better than okay.

    I'm saving it.
  • Posts: 957 Member
    draft_lens19334037module158209413photo_1333577022.jpg

    edit: couldn't find a picture of a cat eating popcorn.. this is the best I could do.

    Hahaha .. my work blocks this picture citing "pornography" .. lol
  • Posts: 957 Member
    I don't have thick enough skin for online dating. I couldn't take the daily rejection.
  • Posts: 806 Member
    I didn't have a problem with the article either.

    Love the picture! Reminds me of the cat "Facebook version of you" and "realistic version of you". I would post it..but am too lazy to figure out how to properly post pictures still. Sigh.
  • Posts: 4,404 Member
    2n6i0pl.jpg
  • Posts: 1,199 Member
    I just read the article and it was incredibly mild. I wish it was a bit more edgy, cold, and comical.

    All in all, the writer is spot on with what she wrote. Online dating certainly favors young and pretty people. Knowing this, if you didn't fall into that category, wouldn't you want to do something where the odds are in your favor?

    I've realized that online dating doesn't favor people like me. I've always been a lot more successful meeting people out at bars and through activities like tennis, our community pool, etc. I've even tried speed dating and would HIGHLY recommend it to anyone.
  • Posts: 806 Member
    Why limit yourself? I say anyone and everyone should just try it all, statistics be damned! You simply never know who you are going to meet, how or when.
  • Posts: 4,252 Member
    It made me giggle. But honestly we all know that 22-26 yr olds are gonna get the most messages....It wasnt exactly a revelation
  • Posts: 4,252 Member
    I just read the article and it was incredibly mild. I wish it was a bit more edgy, cold, and comical.

    All in all, the writer is spot on with what she wrote. Online dating certainly favors young and pretty people. Knowing this, if you didn't fall into that category, wouldn't you want to do something where the odds are in your favor?

    I've realized that online dating doesn't favor people like me. I've always been a lot more successful meeting people out at bars and through activities like tennis, our community pool, etc. I've even tried speed dating and would HIGHLY recommend it to anyone.

    Never done speed dating but man do I shine in the bar scene or going out scene
  • Posts: 5,798 Member

    Never done speed dating but man do I shine in the bar scene or going out scene

    I always wanted to try speed dating for the comedic potential.
  • Posts: 1,199 Member

    I always wanted to try speed dating for the comedic potential.

    If you make a good first impression, then speed dating is the way to go. If you aren't, then it can be awkward as all hell.

    If you are on the receiving end of someone who's initially very awkward.. be prepared for some epic lulz.
  • Posts: 5,798 Member

    If you make a good first impression, then speed dating is the way to go. If you aren't, then it can be awkward as all hell.

    If you are on the receiving end of someone who's initially very awkward.. be prepared for some epic lulz.

    I figure if they aren't awkward enough I can throw enough random **** into the conversation to make it happen, hahahaha!

    EDIT: It would be ironic if that's how I meet my future partner.
    "Well kids, we did this speed dating thing ironically and then BAM"
  • Posts: 1,980 Member
    I figure if they aren't awkward enough I can throw enough random **** into the conversation to make it happen, hahahaha!
    EDIT: It would be ironic if that's how I meet my future partner.
    "Well kids, we did this speed dating thing ironically and then BAM"
    I've tried speed dating (category: 20 to 30 y.o.) and it definitely favours women.
    Frankly, it was really boring and the one woman who came to talk to me after the event ran away as I made a joke about fisting...
    * shrugs *
    I think it's very similar to online dating (even worse actually) in that you meet a completely random group of people with random interests, so if you don't present yourself as the average man or woman you risk coming back empty ended. Not where I would meet girls who belong to my target market.
  • Posts: 5,754 Member
    I've tried speed dating (category: 20 to 30 y.o.) and it definitely favours women.
    Frankly, it was really boring and the one woman who came to talk to me after the event ran away as I made a joke about fisting...
    * shrugs *
    I think it's very similar to online dating (even worse actually) in that you meet a completely random group of people with random interests, so if you don't present yourself as the average man or woman you risk coming back empty ended. Not where I would meet girls who belong to my target market.
    If I ever did speed dating, I'd picture it going like this
    J2but.jpg
  • Posts: 7,439 Member
    you had me searching the author to see if it was DM!! :laugh:

    Agree with SB, you never know who you will meet. I met the man I consider the 'love of my life' off a site! When we were both 42!

    Interesting 5s going for 9s concept tho. Would account for why most men never get responses and women under 25 get inundated. Kinda stupid too!
  • Posts: 3,831 Member
    Well ladies, online dating pretty much sucks unless you're young and hot!

    I'm neither young nor hot, and if I ever become single again, I had enough success with online dating that I’d certainly do it.

    Besides, I thought DMs point was more that online dating stinks no matter who you are, lol

    Edit to add: I can't actually read the article from work, but one thing I do know is that dating is proportionally easier the younger and hotter you are. Unfortunately, I suspect that when a woman gets too used to a horde of guys trying to wine and dine her, she begins to be more picky, difficult, and selfish. Hmmmm sounds like the same thing I think about hot men who have girls falling at their feet. Which is why I think it’s foolish to pursue someone based on hotness alone.
  • Posts: 311 Member

    Interesting 5s going for 9s concept tho. Would account for why most men never get responses and women under 25 get inundated. Kinda stupid too!

    5s going for 9s, so bizarre to me. I understand that maybe a lot of men just send out lots and lots of lines to pretty young women hoping to get a bite. Like playing the lottery, but it's free. What I do not understand are the guys who put great time and effort into messaging women that are not realistic looking at all or who have completely mismatched interests. .

    My experiences were with mismatched interests, but I remember getting SO many emails from guys who had obviously read my profile, wrote long initial messages to me, but who clearly did not actually want to date a geeky single mom who liked books and remembered Morrissey's birthday every year (unfortunately because I'm not 15). It was so weird to see total muscley jock guys messaging some dorky lady with glasses- why waste everybody's time?
  • Posts: 5,798 Member
    If I ever did speed dating, I'd picture it going like this
    J2but.jpg

    What about, "I like it but I prefer Star Trek."
  • Posts: 6,063 Member
    DM are you writing another blog??







    Haha just kidding. ;)
    I am inclined to believe the writer though. In real life, someone usually approaches someone of equal "hotness" but I think online, men tend to approach the hotter girls because if they don't write back, what's the big deal? And the average girls get ignored (and might do better in real life settings, where they have more of a chance to show off their personality). I remember when Yoovie a long time ago showed us her OkCupid profile and she had a lot of messages, and some people were upset and thought she shouldn't complain (probably because they weren't getting as many messages). It is probably because Yoovie is young and attractive - she has an advantage in online dating because of that. Many people just have to show off their personality to others first, and that is why online dating might not work for them.
  • Posts: 1,199 Member
    I see nothing wrong with guys chasing good looking women. Men are very physically driven, so of course they are going to be drawn to the women who are 8's and 9's (doesn't mean they have a chance). Men are just naturally drawn to good looking women, that's no secret.

    I have a good friend who's probably a 4. He's a great guy, but is overweight and just looks like a typical engineer. He has more confidence than my friends who would be considered a 8 or a 9 and he's able to pull women who are way out of his league. He's always been able to do this since we were younger. He just has "it".

    Knowing this, why shouldn't guys chase good looking women who are out of their league? At least one is bound to say yes sooner or later..
  • Posts: 5,754 Member

    What about, "I like it but I prefer Star Trek."
    That's good too! I dig TNG.
  • Posts: 1,381 Member
    My experiences were with mismatched interests, but I remember getting SO many emails from guys who had obviously read my profile, wrote long initial messages to me, but who clearly did not actually want to date a geeky single mom who liked books and remembered Morrissey's birthday every year (unfortunately because I'm not 15).

    And besides, some girls are bigger than others.

    --P
  • Posts: 1,980 Member
    That's good too! I dig TNG.
    Given the body language of the girl, I guess the dude in the picture was doomed beforehand anyway.
    Guess he isn't in the target market of this lady either.
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