Hiding Eating?
SBHWeav
Posts: 89 Member
That is what I do. Today, I did super well on my food intake. Calorie goals, perfect. Honestly, my best day yet.
So WHY?!?!?! Why is it that the second I am all alone, I feel the need to binge? I ran down the street to get my MIL a drink, and while there I grabbed a bag of Flamin Hot Cheetos. And ate the whole thing. Correction. Not ate. Inhaled. I get home, everyone is in their respective rooms, doing their respective relaxing. I hang out in the living room. I'm alone, and feel the need to eat. So I go grab a couple handfuls of popcorn out of the holiday tin we were gifted.
It's not even a need, it's a compulsion. Like I HAVE to have a snack. I HAVE to eat. My DF was so proud of me today for my goals and made me feel so good about it! So why do I feel like I need to ruin it?! Help???
So WHY?!?!?! Why is it that the second I am all alone, I feel the need to binge? I ran down the street to get my MIL a drink, and while there I grabbed a bag of Flamin Hot Cheetos. And ate the whole thing. Correction. Not ate. Inhaled. I get home, everyone is in their respective rooms, doing their respective relaxing. I hang out in the living room. I'm alone, and feel the need to eat. So I go grab a couple handfuls of popcorn out of the holiday tin we were gifted.
It's not even a need, it's a compulsion. Like I HAVE to have a snack. I HAVE to eat. My DF was so proud of me today for my goals and made me feel so good about it! So why do I feel like I need to ruin it?! Help???
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boredom and habit I guess. If you are used to snacking, that's what you want to do.
I do the same thing. AT home I want to be munchin on somethine while I want TV and when it comes to secret eating? I'm a pro.
I can use my lunch break to go get junk or coffee and no one would ever know.
My last apartment, I'd go get fast food and hide in it my shopping bags then hide in my room and pig out so my roommate didn't know.
I still do it sometimes but I've gotten better in the past couple months. Recording what I eat helps. I COULD go get McD's and Starbucks right now, but I'd want to look up the calories and record it, then I'd be sad about it.
Living with my boyfriend helps too because I don't like hiding things from him. My roommate? I could have cared less.
Your Cheetos and popcorn choices weren't terrible at least. *silver lining!!*
Sometimes I just want to shove 4 cakes in my face. Or whatever I can get a hold of. I like eating (and drinking) and it has NOTHING to do with hunger.
I know this is why my weight loss is slow and why I gained 10 lbs this summer and I just try not to kick myself for it
make better choices when I can and when I make poor choices, try to balance it. Also, not depriving myself of stuff helps.
I'm not going to lose weight as fast, but that makes my skin all saggy anyway so w/e?
I also read that binging is often a control thing. When we can't control anything else in our lives, we can control what we eat.0 -
It just happens. Our stress levels can affect us so much that even if we are happy, we binge!
I think you can take comfort from knowing the circumstances as to how it happens, then take steps - call a friend or relative you haven't done so for a while, switch tv off so they don't advertise food in front of you, things like that.
You've done well to date and you know that, so keep on - you can beat this!0 -
I'm the same way. It's almost as though if no one sees it, it never happened. Whenever I feel like I'm about to binge, I try to get out and do something productive, whether it's revamping my resume, taking a walk, riding bike, playing with my dog, and it usually helps.
I've had TONS of terrible binges. One time I ate an ENTIRE package of my roommate's oreos. I didn't realize what I had done until the whole thing was gone, so I panicked and had to run around looking for a new bag, which seemed impossible to find that day. I eventually had to lie and tell her that the cookies were crawling with bugs so I had to throw them away.:embarassed:0 -
One time I ate an ENTIRE package of my roommate's oreos. I didn't realize what I had done until the whole thing was gone
I did the same thing a couple weeks ago. Then my bf was like "babe, where are the oreos?".....Not my proudest moment0 -
i do the same thing, i always ruin great days because the second everyone goes to bed, i go for the fridge
and when i wake up in the middle of the night, i'll make a sandwich AND a bowl or 2 of cereal, even if im not hungry. it's like i HAVE to eat or i can't stop thinking about it and i won't be able to go back to sleep!0 -
I do the same thing. For me it's a combo of my eating disorder, binging, and OCD. Anything that is a compulsion may be a sign of OCD. Just remember that OCD is not about cleaning or germs it's about compulsions. My compulsions center around my obsessive list making, hoarding, and placing feelings on non living things. My doctor and I have worked out a plan to deal with this.0
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i do the same thing, i always ruin great days because the second everyone goes to bed, i go for the fridge
and when i wake up in the middle of the night, i'll make a sandwich AND a bowl or 2 of cereal, even if im not hungry. it's like i HAVE to eat or i can't stop thinking about it and i won't be able to go back to sleep!
:grumble: I do the samething0 -
Sometimes, people will come visit me while I'm eating, and it makes me feel really ashamed of myself. It's not even an insane amount of food, I just have an unhealthy relationship with food and the public when I expect to be by myself.0
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I'm not proud of it, but I tend to binge when I'm alone too. Let's face it, not many of us are going to eat a whole pizza or a whole bag of m&m's in front of a friend or family member. It sometimes amazes me how MUCH I can eat! But I tend to binge when I'm lonely, depressed, worried, and sometimes "just because". I think it's because I feel like I can't eat it around my husband so I grab the first chance I get to eat it when he's gone. I believe that's why we're all here...to support each other and turn to each other INSTEAD of eating. It's pretty hard to eat if you're typing, right? Anyway...YOU ARE NOT ALONE!0
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I'm exactly the same way. I eat out of boredom, and when I'm feeling down. Even though I know it's bad for my body, for just a few seconds after popping something sweet into my mouth, it just makes me feel good. Then I continue eating and eating trying to get that initial feeling again, and it doesn't happen, and next thing I know I've eaten a whole bag of hershey's minis or something similar.
I've finally found something to occupy my time though, that I actually get so absorbed in, that I don't even think about eating. I do leather working now. I make holsters, sheathes, wrist cuffs, motorcycle bags, etc...
It's not just about finding a hobby. For me, I had to find that one perfect hobby that I would get absolutely absorbed in, and that I enjoy. I tried other things, gaming, model building, etc... but found I would still stop what I was doing to go grab something to snack on.0 -
I've found myself doing this too. I'm really good at only eating within normal levels when I'm surrounded by people, but when I'm alone I will eat things, and portions that I know are out of control and that I would never eat in front of other people.
There are times I will sit and eat half a box of oreos or eating left over frosting out of a container. It's sick. And I know it's stupid.
I'm constantly trying to find ways to stop myself from doing this, and it seems so ridiculous cause every part of me knows how wrong it is to do it. I tell myself "if you wouldn't eat that in front of others, why will you eat it alone? If it makes you ashamed maybe you know you shouldn't be doing it."
Sometimes it works to stop myself, and sometimes it doesn't. Tips?0 -
I'm on this site right now so I dont do this exact thing. I want to eat cake and squares in our lunch room. My plan is to drink so much water that I want to puke so I will be beyond full. Ughhhh sometimes I wish food didnt exist so we didnt have this struggle.0
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Wow, I always felt so alone about how much I can eat when I am alone. It does help to know that others do the same thing. I also get up in the middle of the night and eat. I try and keep track of how I am feeling, or how I ate that day, but I don't think that there is a rational answer as to why, and that makes it even more scary because I don't know how to change it. My plan it to keep trying to understand this problem and to try and break the habit.0
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I am new here...
I also wanted to share that I also eat when everyone goes to bed. at first I usually went to bed early just to avoid the time alone with the kitchen!!
I know I have not figured out my emotional eating. I was at 120 pounds lost now I have gained 19 pounds back. I used food and I gave up when stress hit. I had medical problems and my son broke his collar bone. It was an awful month, I need to learn to deal with food and emotions better!0 -
I am also new here, but not new to emotional eating and hiding how much food I actually consume. One of the worst things I do is stop at a fast food drive through window on my way home from work and eat the food by myself in the car. I have to hide all traces of evidence well. Then when I get home, I eat the dinner my husband fixes for us. I'm ashamed of myself.
One of the most disgusting things I've ever done was buy a chub of salami and a knife from the supermarket, then eat the whole chub of salami by myself in my classroom when there were no students around to see me. I'll eat an entire package of chips or cookies or candy in a day. It's almost as if I NEED to finish the entire thing. I can't just have one serving size. I have to eat the whole thing, even if I'm not hungry and even if I feel sick to my stomach.
I'm glad I've found this group. I hope you all can help motivate me to overcome the emotional eating.0 -
I am also new here, but not new to emotional eating and hiding how much food I actually consume. One of the worst things I do is stop at a fast food drive through window on my way home from work and eat the food by myself in the car. I have to hide all traces of evidence well. Then when I get home, I eat the dinner my husband fixes for us. I'm ashamed of myself.
One of the most disgusting things I've ever done was buy a chub of salami and a knife from the supermarket, then eat the whole chub of salami by myself in my classroom when there were no students around to see me. I'll eat an entire package of chips or cookies or candy in a day. It's almost as if I NEED to finish the entire thing. I can't just have one serving size. I have to eat the whole thing, even if I'm not hungry and even if I feel sick to my stomach.
I'm glad I've found this group. I hope you all can help motivate me to overcome the emotional eating.
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cmdoiy, I do the same thing!!! I would buy candy and eat it all on the way home. I even slipped into those habbits recently when life got stressful. I was always hiding my food.
I also have to finish the package when I binge. It is hard to have just one serving of those items. it is like an addiction once I have one it is very hard to stop!
Karen0 -
What was the trigger? Personally speaking, when I feel that I HAVE to have something, anything, there was a trigger. Stress, boredom, insecurity? Usually something. Once you find the triggers you can notice them coming on and divert yourself from it. Mine come at night when I'm bored and at work when it gets to be too much. Changing tasks for a few minutes helps. Keep at it though and don't give up. It could have been worse, so you did pretty good.
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At uni I was awful for this, i would nip to the shop and then hide the food in my room and eat late at night, ice cream, crisps, biccys anything. Now I am back at home I dont do it, but sometimes still get the urge, but thats when I look in the mirror, and think is it really worth it? Because at the end of the day I will hate myself for it and only end up sad. Its much better to attempt to resist!
At the end of the day if you slip and do it once, it is not the end of the day, tomorrow is a new day xx0 -
I too do the secret eating. I will even hide in a corner in our kitchen with a bag of Chocolate chips and pig out just long enough to eat a crap-ton but not long enough for hubby to wonder what Im doing.
And everytime I'm alone I feel its ok to pig out. I love to sit in my bed and watch a movie with a smorgasbord of food spread out for me to snack on.
Most of the time I eat out of boredom or depression. Last year was an awful personal year for me so I constantly found myself sneaking food.
And then after I eat and eat and eat and ruin whatever diet I am on, I feel like total poo which makes me even more depressed which causes me to think "well i screwed it up for today, might as well not worry about it and just ruin it more" so then I just eat more. Its a terrible cycle.
I saw it mentioned eating an entire thing of oreos. I will do that whenever oreos are near. That is my kryptonite. Out of everything I could possibly eat, that one thing just does it in for me. I dont even pay attention that I'm doing it. I just think oh one more, then one more then one more and before I know it their gone.0 -
I found that night time is one of my worst times for eating. I sit and want to eat. So I brush my teeth as soon as the boys go to bed. That is my way of telling myself that I cannot eat anymore tonight. My teeth are clean and I cannot get them dirty until tomorrow at breakfast.0
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Often at night I cant even go to sleep without having a piece of chocolate, or something sweet. Even if i've gone to sleep without something I will wake up then go for it. Pathetic yes but absolutely necessary!!Do I know why no. I've now come to putting the chocolate in the night table so I dont have to get out of bed to get it. But I cant have it if my boyfriend is already in bed sleeping, he will think Im nuts....Since I've started on here I have only done it once and yes i've counted the calories. So I am assuming that before for me it was that if I was alone and eating it, it didnt count, and I could pretend I didnt eat it, cause obviously the calories and what I was eating in the middle of the night didnt matter.0
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I do the same thing. For me it's a combo of my eating disorder, binging, and OCD. Anything that is a compulsion may be a sign of OCD. Just remember that OCD is not about cleaning or germs it's about compulsions. My compulsions center around my obsessive list making, hoarding, and placing feelings on non living things. My doctor and I have worked out a plan to deal with this.
^^This0 -
I just wanted to thank you all for creating this topic. I thought about your replies all day today and was motivated to make it all day without a binge. Yay! I've done a lot of reading about this and have struggled with it for many years. I'm starting to figure out that one of my triggers to self sabotage has to do with the pressure I was under (both self induced as well as from family) to be "perfect" when I was younger. My body was always up for comment as well as what I was eating. So now, when I eat in secret and/or binge, it's a demented way of "getting back" at my father, my old fitness coach, etc.
For right now, I'm just trying very hard to take it a day at a time. If anyone else wants to join me in this and check in every day, I'd love the company!0
