I can't say that I have had any issues with my mental health, but I did go through a period with my friends where I was so focused on my eating habits and the changes that I was going through and the excitement of losing weight that I feel that I drove them away. I was and still am a little obsessed. Now it's not so much with the food, but with the exercise and fitness. When I realized that I was making my weight loss journey the focus of all conversations and that it was getting old with people fast, I had to make a conscious effort to not talk about it unless they brought it up and to play it down when too much attention was put on the subject. People aren't as excited about it as you want them to be, but when I started doing that then my friends came back around.....so I use this forum to talk about my excitement and feelings with people who are going through the journey and can relate and share my excitement with me.

This may sound harsh, but anyone who has an issue with you bettering yourself and getting healthy doesn't deserve to be your friend anyway. When I got out of the gangster life I lost a lot of friends, when I stopped doing drugs, when I got married, when I had my son... I don't think I have but one or two friends who have made it through all of the changes in my life and one is barely hanging on my a string. You will make new friends that are also healthy and supportive, and you can start with me!

"My bariatric team has told me they will not put me on any form of anti-depressant medication as my body will not absorb it fully. They will re-address the situation at one year post-op. I, too, was on Zoloft pre-surgery and it did wonders for me. I asked to be placed back on it, but was told no. It's very frustrating."


I'm also surprised that you were told that you could not be put on any anti-depression meds. I have been on meds since before the surgery and aside from my day and half in the hospital for the surgery and post-op care I have been taking them since. The only problem I was told was not to take the extended release for the first month because those could not be crushed. For some people medication is necessary and can effect their recovery, my bariatric surgeon wanted to make sure I was stable enough before the surgery because he said that a depression relapse could harm all the work that I would be doing with the surgery to improve my health. Perhaps get a second opinion.

As for the constant emphasis on food, I understand. Over the Thanksgiving holiday I was accused of being anorexic and having and eating disorder because I was obsessed with what I was eating, logging every calorie, and was full after a few bites. (and that came from someone who knew that I had wls and told me that they themselves were considering getting wls as well) I found that people do get bored hearing about it and about how much weight I've lost and what I can/ cant eat, and calorie and protein count, ect. The best outlet is going to a support group. I try to go to one on a weekly basis that is held through my insurance for all post-op patients to discuss such matters. Its nice because I can vent, ask questions, or listen to other people's stories/ issues. People are also really friendly (though some can be kindda bossy, but they mean it in a kind way) and many people in my group also meet up socially and offer support for all matters. Perhaps you can join some such group and find such an outlet. At least you know that they wont judge you or get bored about hearing how you can eat toast but not bread with out asking you a million question lol.

I've found that my depression is a little worse since surgery. My doctor still has me on the anti-depressent but instead of taking all three at the same time, I space them out throughout the day and it helps. I'm changing insurances in January so as soon as that kicks in, I'm going to starting seeing someone as well. Sure, I can talk to my boyfriend or my mom but the only thing they tell me is that I'm doing really well. I just need someone who will be able to offer actual advice. There's only so much my support group can help with.

I haven't been able to go to my support group on a regular basis because I have class on the nights they meet. But I graduate in July so I'll be able to go every month then. Going to a support group is an excellent idea because there will probably be people there who are going through the same thing you are or who have gone through it. It wouldn't hurt to check it out.

My bariatric team has told me they will not put me on any form of anti-depressant medication as my body will not absorb it fully. They will re-address the situation at one year post-op. I, too, was on Zoloft pre-surgery and it did wonders for me. I asked to be placed back on it, but was told no. It's very frustrating.

This surprises me. I was on Zoloft for about 4 months prior to my surgery and was able to take it starting at 3 days post-op. Since then, I've actually had the dosage increased a bit to help balance me out. I'm not suggesting you go against your bariatric team, but I'd question it, especially if you personally feel like maybe an anti-depressant might be helpful.

I too have been on my psych meds before and immediately after surgery. My surgeon wanted to avoid a depressive episode.

Would you be open to discussing this with your surgeon in a firm matter? I support you being your own advocate - your surgeon understands the surgery but not necessarily the psych side.

When I talked to my psych doc she was very familiar with baritric patients and the need to adjust meds accordingly - she changed a med from the extended release to twice a day, and when she could changed my pills to oral disentigrating (crushed pills don't taste so yummy) and with the cymbalta she just had me open the capsules and swallow the beads to increase the time of absorption (dissolving the capsule takes awhile and our tummy's just don't have the time).

You deserve to feel well, mentally, physically and spiritually!

I like the support groups and I too see a therapist (have done so for years) - my food issues started young and I knew surgery wasn't going to solve the why - even if it cut back the how.

Hugs to you! Sounds like you've been through a lot. Talk to your surgeon - help him understand the urgency of your need - whatever it takes - you're supported!

Miss Erynn, It sounds like you don't have a good support network. Your "friends" aren't really your friends, or they aren't educated on the new and improved you. Your surgery isn't ruining your life; it is improving it.

Before my surgery, I told my closest friends and coworkers. I explained what the procedure would be like and how I would be eating etc. Then my friends asked me 1000 questions and wanted to understand what it would be like. My friends wanted to understand so they could support me because they knew I was invested in having this procedure done.

Post surgery, I have not had any of the comments you have mentioned, but if I had family or "friends" make comments like that to me, I would not take any sass-mouthing from them. I believe that I project how I want to be treated. If I treat myself or present myself like a person who is weak or unsure, people (not true friends) will prey on that. I highly suggest you contact your doctor and talk to them. Also, talking to a counselor or therapist who specializes in bariatric patients would be helpful. I am sure he/she would be able to suggest ways of handling these "friends" of yours.

Eating out, I can always find something to eat. Protein is really easy to find anywhere you go. Even vegetarian restaurants have protein-rich options. When my friends, family, or husband ask where I want to eat, I give them a range of options where I can find a variety of foods. Don't be shy; tell them how it is! As far as alcohol, at 6 months, I have been cleared to drink alcohol moderately. It is definitely a choice for me; I don't want to ingest a lot of empty sugary calories. I don't make a big deal out of eating out with friends; I just make my good decisions.

Above all, this is your new life. Surround yourself with people who care about you and want to help you succeed. Good luck, and add me as a friend if you'd like some online support!

has anyone's mental health been affected post-surgery, i.e. depression, bi-polar-like episodes of highs and lows, etc.?

I find I have terrible, life-halting mood swings. I don't get angry, but I get so depressed because of all the complications I've had and the bull**** I keep going through.... it's ruining my life.

also, relationship-wise, did anyone find that they lost friends or other personal relationships post-surgery?

Since my surgery, I have lost virtually all of my friends and I was told today that it's because no one wants to be around me anymore with all my food intolerances, my decisions on food, how much I can eat, not being able to drink (alcohol), etc. I was also told my "focus" on food and being healthy is driving people away.

Anyone experience anything similar?

Yes yes & yes!!
It is life changing but it settles down eventually!