Funny OKCupid Dating Profiles.
MikeM53082
Posts: 1,199 Member
Caught this today. Definitely funny and worth a read. Note to everyone (especially the guys), don't be like one of these 67 profiles!
http://www.mandatory.com/2012/06/22/insanely-terrifying-okcupid-profiles/1
http://www.mandatory.com/2012/06/22/insanely-terrifying-okcupid-profiles/1
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Replies
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lol, those are great!0
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Freakin' amazing.0
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People are strange.0
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Bump to read tomorrow when I'm at a computer!!0
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wow. . that's some mean-spirited funny stuff. .0
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Those are pretty frightening.0
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I think I've met half of those!!! :laugh:
Creeeeeeeeeeeps! :noway:0 -
Absolutely HILARIOUS!!! Speaking of, my cousin and I were crying from laughter at this message I got on OKC last week (must share so you guys can laugh too) - :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
I must commend you on your choice of profile pics; they really
advertise your biological prowess. Your voluptuous figure, along with
your fair complexion, tells me that you are healthy, and therefore
would make a great choice for a breeding partner. I must ask though:
How would you rate your ability to climb trees? I ask because, in the
off chance a ground predator were to loom the horizon we could both
escape via the trees without me having to risk my life in an attempt
to defend you from said predator. If my instincts are correct, then
I believe a biological pairing between us may be a practical and
mutually benefitting affair. Would you be available for some light
discourse?0 -
I must commend you on your choice of profile pics; they really
advertise your biological prowess. Your voluptuous figure, along with
your fair complexion, tells me that you are healthy, and therefore
would make a great choice for a breeding partner. I must ask though:
How would you rate your ability to climb trees? I ask because, in the
off chance a ground predator were to loom the horizon we could both
escape via the trees without me having to risk my life in an attempt
to defend you from said predator. If my instincts are correct, then
I believe a biological pairing between us may be a practical and
mutually benefitting affair. Would you be available for some light
discourse?
Wow. Wonder how many women have received that lovely breeding invitation? LOL!0 -
Absolutely HILARIOUS!!! Speaking of, my cousin and I were crying from laughter at this message I got on OKC last week (must share so you guys can laugh too) - :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
I must commend you on your choice of profile pics; they really
advertise your biological prowess. Your voluptuous figure, along with
your fair complexion, tells me that you are healthy, and therefore
would make a great choice for a breeding partner. I must ask though:
How would you rate your ability to climb trees? I ask because, in the
off chance a ground predator were to loom the horizon we could both
escape via the trees without me having to risk my life in an attempt
to defend you from said predator. If my instincts are correct, then
I believe a biological pairing between us may be a practical and
mutually benefitting affair. Would you be available for some light
discourse?
Points for having a sense of humour........he was kidding, right......RIGHT?0 -
Absolutely HILARIOUS!!! Speaking of, my cousin and I were crying from laughter at this message I got on OKC last week (must share so you guys can laugh too) - :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
I must commend you on your choice of profile pics; they really
advertise your biological prowess. Your voluptuous figure, along with
your fair complexion, tells me that you are healthy, and therefore
would make a great choice for a breeding partner. I must ask though:
How would you rate your ability to climb trees? I ask because, in the
off chance a ground predator were to loom the horizon we could both
escape via the trees without me having to risk my life in an attempt
to defend you from said predator. If my instincts are correct, then
I believe a biological pairing between us may be a practical and
mutually benefitting affair. Would you be available for some light
discourse?
Points for having a sense of humour........he was kidding, right......RIGHT?
I would go on a date with him.0 -
See this is what happens. This is the kind of thing that leads me into dark parts of the Internet that I am simply not ready for. After the okcupid thing were some crazy photos. One of which led me to look up the Statues in Frogner park in Norway. Soon to be renamed WTF park I'm guessing. OP I blame you for my descent into the rabbit hole.0
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"I go completely insane when my ice cream falls off the cone"
HA!0 -
"I go completely insane when my ice cream falls off the cone"
HA!
That was pretty funny. I'm tempted to put that somewhere in my profile..0 -
"I go completely insane when my ice cream falls off the cone"
HA!
That was pretty funny. I'm tempted to put that somewhere in my profile..
LMAO! Do it!0 -
OMG, I was just surfing my PoF matches and saw this pic there. Granted it was mixed in with 'normal' looking shots of the same guy, but it was so funny I HAD to share it with my Peeps! Ok ladies, who wants him??? LOL
edit to fix pic...0 -
OMG, I was just surfing my PoF matches and saw this pic there. Granted it was mixed in with 'normal' looking shots of the same guy, but it was so funny I HAD to share it with my Peeps! Ok ladies, who wants him??? LOL
edit to fix pic...
Your match? He's all yours honey!
lol 0 -
OMG, I was just surfing my PoF matches and saw this pic there. Granted it was mixed in with 'normal' looking shots of the same guy, but it was so funny I HAD to share it with my Peeps! Ok ladies, who wants him??? LOL
edit to fix pic...
says it all really. What a d1ckhead!!! :laugh:0 -
I'm jumping back on the internet dating thing right now and I've seen a handful of thinks that really make me scratch my head in a lot of profiles.
1. When women say that they've been out on a lot of dates, but haven't found the one.
-- I take this as being an arrogant serial dater. Why would you tell a prospective date that you go out on a ton of dates? Next.
2. When women say that they aren't looking for a hook-up or one night stand. If they were looking for that, they'd just go to the bars.
-- I'm not looking for that either, but it doesn't mean I'm going to broadcast it on my profile. Again, this crosses the confidence line and comes off as extremely arrogant. Next.
My biggest thing is that it seems that so many single women have pets. Having a pet is the only deal breaker I have. Seems that this online dating thing is going to be tough.
What are the biggest turn-off's you have when you see a profile (man or woman)?0 -
I'm jumping back on the internet dating thing right now and I've seen a handful of thinks that really make me scratch my head in a lot of profiles.
1. When women say that they've been out on a lot of dates, but haven't found the one.
-- I take this as being an arrogant serial dater. Why would you tell a prospective date that you go out on a ton of dates? Next.
2. When women say that they aren't looking for a hook-up or one night stand. If they were looking for that, they'd just go to the bars.
-- I'm not looking for that either, but it doesn't mean I'm going to broadcast it on my profile. Again, this crosses the confidence line and comes off as extremely arrogant. Next.
My biggest thing is that it seems that so many single women have pets. Having a pet is the only deal breaker I have. Seems that this online dating thing is going to be tough.
What are the biggest turn-off's you have when you see a profile (man or woman)?
In no particular order... but I see these and run.
1. No picture (We are all on here for the same reason... not asking you for one. Next!)
2. They have kids (personal preference)
3. "I'm married but my wife knows I'm online" (Next!)
4. Trying this again... (Most of us are probably trying again, just fill out your profile and answer the questions and let itself work out! Next!)0 -
In no particular order... but I see these and run.
1. No picture (We are all on here for the same reason... not asking you for one. Next!)
2. They have kids (personal preference)
3. "I'm married but my wife knows I'm online" (Next!)
4. Trying this again... (Most of us are probably trying again, just fill out your profile and answer the questions and let itself work out! Next!)
#1 through #3 are definite NEXT reasons!0 -
I'm jumping back on the internet dating thing right now and I've seen a handful of thinks that really make me scratch my head in a lot of profiles.
1. When women say that they've been out on a lot of dates, but haven't found the one.
-- I take this as being an arrogant serial dater. Why would you tell a prospective date that you go out on a ton of dates? Next.
2. When women say that they aren't looking for a hook-up or one night stand. If they were looking for that, they'd just go to the bars.
-- I'm not looking for that either, but it doesn't mean I'm going to broadcast it on my profile. Again, this crosses the confidence line and comes off as extremely arrogant. Next.
My biggest thing is that it seems that so many single women have pets. Having a pet is the only deal breaker I have. Seems that this online dating thing is going to be tough.
What are the biggest turn-off's you have when you see a profile (man or woman)?
A couple quick ones come to mind:
1) I hate talking about myself, but here goes...
2) I really hate these things. (referring to the about me/summary)
3) Ask me anything, I am an open book. (That is it, the whole profile. Really, can't say anything to describe yourself or interests?)0 -
A couple quick ones come to mind:
1) I hate talking about myself, but here goes...
2) I really hate these things. (referring to the about me/summary)
3) Ask me anything, I am an open book. (That is it, the whole profile. Really, can't say anything to describe yourself or interests?)
YES. Especially #1. It's doesn't completely turn me off and if I was attracted, I'd still e-mail. But when they say that in their intro, I always roll my eyes.0 -
1: Anything about being active in the church
2: Too long of profile
3: If the profession has to do with sales I am 85% sure I won't get along with them and will want to punch them after 10 mins
4: Any user name associated with sex aka BigJohnson69
5: "I like to go out but also stay in"0 -
a bottle of wine and a dvd :yawn:0
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1: Anything about being active in the church
2: Too long of profile
3: If the profession has to do with sales I am 85% sure I won't get along with them and will want to punch them after 10 mins
4: Any user name associated with sex aka BigJohnson69
5: "I like to go out but also stay in"
Yes! lol0 -
1: Anything about being active in the church
2: Too long of profile
3: If the profession has to do with sales I am 85% sure I won't get along with them and will want to punch them after 10 mins
4: Any user name associated with sex aka BigJohnson69
5: "I like to go out but also stay in"
I'm not big on #1, #4, and #5.
I like people in sales. They usually have solid social skills.0 -
1: Anything about being active in the church
2: Too long of profile
3: If the profession has to do with sales I am 85% sure I won't get along with them and will want to punch them after 10 mins
4: Any user name associated with sex aka BigJohnson69
5: "I like to go out but also stay in"
I'm not big on #1, #4, and #5.
I like people in sales. They usually have solid social skills.
I work with sales people and they just come across as will say anything to get their way.0 -
1: Anything about being active in the church
2: Too long of profile
3: If the profession has to do with sales I am 85% sure I won't get along with them and will want to punch them after 10 mins
4: Any user name associated with sex aka BigJohnson69
5: "I like to go out but also stay in"
I'm not big on #1, #4, and #5.
I like people in sales. They usually have solid social skills.
I work with sales people and they just come across as will say anything to get their way.
I'm in sales :sad: :grumble:
I think it depends what you sell!! And how you sell it!! Plus your personality, integrity and BS-ability!!!
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1. Shirtless pics
2. Horrible grammar
3. Webcam or bathroom mirror profile pics
4. Items in the background of the pic that cause me to believe you live with your mother. (Frilly curtains, etc.)
5. Pictures hugging women, probably your sister or daughter, but how the hell do I know that.
6. Anything about Jesus. Nothing against him, it just turns me off.0
This discussion has been closed.