does anyone start losing weight then freak out?
Athena125
Posts: 102 Member
This may be an odd question, but I think this is a MAJOR hindrance to my staying in shape. When I start to look and feel good, it's like something in me feels bad and wants to be covered up again (with weight, clothes, etc.). On one hand, I like looking good, but on the other, I feel vulnerable.
I am wondering if anyone else (especially women) have gone through this, and if so, how have you worked through your emotions of fear when you start to look better (and people start looking at you, complimenting you, etc.)?
I am wondering if anyone else (especially women) have gone through this, and if so, how have you worked through your emotions of fear when you start to look better (and people start looking at you, complimenting you, etc.)?
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I am a 21 year old GUY and this is how I sometimes feel! It's like I am afraid of losing weight for fear that I'll look different/bad. I think this is because I was diagnosed with BDD (body dysmorphic disorder) a few years ago. I used to think my shoulders were too bony and asymmetrical. I also have "moobs" (always have, even my dad does and he's skinny), so I guess in a way I feel "vulnerable" to exposing my shoulders/chest. I feel like being fat "hides" my chest. Even though it doesn't. Hope this helps--you're not the only one...0
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OMG YES! It has happened so many times to me. As soon as someone says "wow you're starting to look good" I stop. I have spent so long not really being noticed that I'm use to it. So it's like a shiny spotlight on me when I get the compliments and it feels weird. I'm hoping this time will be different as I have yet to break the cycle. But I know how you feel, so I won't compliment your picture, LOL. Add me as a friend if you want and maybe we can learn to shine!0
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I totally get that!! Emotional eating just does not help me in the moment - eat so that I can avoid feeling things - but it is also a protective layer - a lot of people call it a fatsuit... it can keep people away - especially people we may be attracted to. I am struggling with that one right now...0
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Oh yes!!! Time and time again. I'm trying to do a lot of mental self work on preparing myself for these feelings again as I restarted dieting0
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All the time. I used to have a 6 pack and was VERY tiny. Then I got sick and ballooned up like a cabbage patch doll. That's when I met my husband and we got married. But after we got married his ex took pics of me (without my knowledge) when I was bigger to make fun of me. So I started exercising ALL the time and doing major diets. As soon as I started losing weight she put those pictures on my step kids Ipods for me to see. It's taken me years to get past that. My husband has seen pics of me a lot smaller, and some day I hope I can get back there...and partially to make her feel bad about what she did. (I hope that's not wrong)0
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Definitely! I liked it when I would lose weight and start looking better, but it almost offended me when people would compliment me. I just hate how some people seem so proud of other people when they lose weight. It's like they are saying, " good for you, now you are acceptable." Also, It's just really weird to me. Kind of like when you are pregnant and people you are not close to want to touch your stomach. It's personal.
That being said, I am working on my weight again and I am not going to let things like that bug me. I will just say Thank You and change the subject. That's all I know to do.0 -
Glad to know im not the only one who uses my fat as a protective layer. Im the fat girl...if im not fat, who am i?? Now granted i never minded people touching my stomach when i was pregnant because i never viewed that as part of my body, they were touching the baby. but i really have trouble when people compliment me on weight loss, like now i have to keep going because someone noticed and they'll notice if i fail. Or now i have a standard to live up to, and i know its me, not them that put those 'standards' on me but it still gets stuck in my head.
Im trying to work thru that this time, knowing its coming and talking to myself to hopefully overcome that when it comes. Im getting older and i really dont want to spend the rest of my life this heavy and unable to do much. So i want to do this for me, not others and i have to keep reminding myself that,0 -
Thanks for all the messages.
I've been thinking a lot about this, and it seems like I have to work on what I'm afraid of so I don't somehow sabotage myself again!
So frustrating...but I think it's important to realize that part of me feels much better being somewhat overweight. I have never been very overweight, but I've struggled with an extra 20-35 pounds ever since my early 20s. I lost it all when I was 33, but then something made me isolate myself and put it back on.
I also realized I'm going to have to be okay with being in the way, sharing my real feelings even when people would really rather me be quiet, etc. I'm finding that a lot of getting in shape means putting myself first (working out rather than going out to eat with friends; having people come to me so I can cook instead of eat out, etc). It's just really struck me lately how much time and energy I wasn't putting into myself before! I've even bought some cute outfits to wear while I'm trying to get in better shape because I'm so tired of the punishment-reward cycle. Why can't we all just be kind to ourselves now?
i am sure not everyone feels like I do - I know some people have just struggled with their weight forever. But it is helpful to know I'm not alone.0 -
i cant answer to whether its wrong, what i will advise is to not waist YOUR time and energy on what she thinks, see, she is jealous. she is your husbands ex! she is unhappy and trying to make herself feel better at your expense. you could instead focus on you and your family, husband,step kids ect. Dont give her power over your life. loose the weight for you and not her because she isnt gonna be all like "oh yeah you were right all along and i was wrong for being mean!" that person souldnt matter in your world filled with ppl who love you!0
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All the time. I used to have a 6 pack and was VERY tiny. Then I got sick and ballooned up like a cabbage patch doll. That's when I met my husband and we got married. But after we got married his ex took pics of me (without my knowledge) when I was bigger to make fun of me. So I started exercising ALL the time and doing major diets. As soon as I started losing weight she put those pictures on my step kids Ipods for me to see. It's taken me years to get past that. My husband has seen pics of me a lot smaller, and some day I hope I can get back there...and partially to make her feel bad about what she did. (I hope that's not wrong)
Did you think about the possibility that her mean spirited intentions could backfire on her or at least benefit you? Instead of letting her get to you and mess with your progress, use the pictures as reminders - you're creating a new picture of yourself. I don't really like the idea of vengeance as an incentive to lose weight, but go ahead - add it to your better reasons (health, happiness, husband, family, whatever + pissing off husband's ex-wife - works for me). Don't be in a hurry, because that will set you up for failure, but when you get down and tempted to blow it, think about that evil woman coming across new pictures of you (on the kid's iphones...) with a great looking body and huge smile.
I would hope that your step-kids are supportive enough to dump the mean pictures and recognize that their mother is a bit of a *****.0 -
Definitely! I liked it when I would lose weight and start looking better, but it almost offended me when people would compliment me. I just hate how some people seem so proud of other people when they lose weight. It's like they are saying, " good for you, now you are acceptable." Also, It's just really weird to me. Kind of like when you are pregnant and people you are not close to want to touch your stomach. It's personal.
That being said, I am working on my weight again and I am not going to let things like that bug me. I will just say Thank You and change the subject. That's all I know to do.
That is definitely an issue with weight loss. I used to think the compliments were lovely, until I realized that they didn't help me with "sticking with the program".... Nobody at the farmer's market where I sell my work said anything about my weight loss last year. When I got to the point where I'd lost 95lb, I was feeling a bit hurt, but it was because it made me feel like nobody cared enough to notice, or I hadn't made any friends after 6 years selling with these people. Then our manager came up to me and quietly asked if I'd lost weight and I told her and she was congratulatory, but, then for a few weeks after that, she'd say things like "hiya skinny". That just didn't work for me, especially since I still weighed over 200lb. I'm not sure why, but that's just not the kind of attention I want. I refused to let it bother me, though. When I do think that I'm eating for the wrong reasons, I find something else to do.0
