I’ll state it now real swimming is Open Water Swimming.

Open Water swimmers:

• Don’t need a black line to guide them.
• Can justify a snag, egg and bacon washed down with a beer at 10am at the Pub.
• Realise that sledging is socially acceptable at the start of a race.
• Start in a crooked line not a perfectly neat line like the soft poolies.
• Love Vaseline.
• Manage to swim 2km in a 1500m race.
• Hate Chlorine.
• Don’t worry about times, they worry about who snuck in just ahead of them.
• Understand shrinkage.
• Are patriotic. They know Australia Day means swim between two jetties.
• Have heart. As you go around the last buoy with five others and still push yourself even though you are spent.
• Can party all night and still front up the next day and swim 5km.
• Hate drafting.
• Have one swimmer they always want to beat.
• Socialise after the race.
• Believe that seaweed down their cleavage is sensual.
• Love the smell of salt water in the morning.
• Are tough. They don’t need lane ropes to protect them from contact.
• Think racing 200m in a pool is soft and anything less is even softer.
• Love surf lifesavers.
• Are elite athletes on the inside.
• Love the variety of currents, waves and wind.
• Don’t tumbleturn in a race.
• Think that changerooms are a luxury.
• Love the dolphin.
• Realise that there is nothing more Aussie than mates and beach.
• Can change out of their togs balanced on one foot with a towel.
• Have something to talk about to impress their work colleagues on Monday.
• Love nature and its elements.
• Realise that zig zag swimming across the course is a skill and a story.
• Love food after the race.
• Know if the starting hooter doesn’t work you start by consensus.
• Love uncertainty and variety.
• Burping a gutful of salt water is socially acceptable after the race.
• Hate just getting pipped at the end.
• Love helicopters.
• Know that jellyfish don’t really hurt……….much.
• Thrive on the wave hitting you as you try to breathe.
• Love swimming stroke for stroke and looking their competitor in the eye.
• Love sunburn cream.
• Check that everything is in place as they get up after a rough race.
• Realise that “Girt by” means “designed to race in the” in our National Anthem.
• Are intelligent, good looking, modest and salt of the earth citizens.
• Don’t need warm water and if they do they make their own.
• Love the aussie battler that struggles in at the back of the field proud as punch that they have beaten the ocean.
• Realise they are a good chance to pick up a random prize during the season.
• Know there is nothing better than Open Water Swimming.

The soft poolies may s****** and scoff at this article. The swimmers that haven’t yet had the exhilaration and pleasure of Open Water swimming may doubt. But the Open Water Swimmers know it’s all true.