Hello...need to hear others' experiences

nakira80 Posts: 5 Member

I joined this group bc like others, people don't say I need to lose weight. I gain a few pounds during holidays, vacations, or stressful times, but then I reach a low point and work my way back to ideal weight. I am 5'6'' and hit 133 last week, after having two kids my pooch and small chest makes me look preggo :(
. My ideal weight is 125 and I want to fit back in my clothes. I used to be a size 14 after I had my second child and I was disgusted with myself. I used to be a dancer and took pride in my appearance.

I did the Southbeach diet after I quit nursing my baby 4 years ago and then dropped to a size 4 with exercise. Some of my family told me I looked sick (overweight/obese family members).

Right now I am trying to lose weight by logging onto myfitnesspal and staying within my calorie range. I am also trying to squeeze in 5-6 workouts a week, usually cardio, although I will do a little bit of weight lifting. Now friends tell me I look ok but I am not happy with myself. Especially a good friend says I look better than before but I don't want to upset them. I want her support but I feel if I talk about my goals, she will just crticize me. She is single and can work out easier than I can so I get frustrated when she wants to eat unhealthy foods or says I was too skinny before. I want to stay her friend but I may just not talk about it, but I'd appreciate support...

Suggestions? Experience with this?


  • skinnymck
    skinnymck Posts: 8 Member
    I used to get that a lot too - "you're slim, you don't need to lose weight" - but you're right, if you're not happy with yourself then no one is going to convince you you're "fine as you are". I never used to worry about my weight - until about 4 years ago I was round the 9stone (126lb) mark but that changed when I moved in with my partner. I blame the big plates we bought as I started eating bigger portions and eating later as I waited for him to come home from work. Since then I've put on well over 20lbs and want to get it off again for my 30th (6 months away).

    Thankfully I have a friend in a similar position who I go to the gym with (the plan is 4 times a week - that plan only started today though!) and we keep on top of each other if one of us feels we're going to fall off the wagon. I think for me the main motivation comes from the fact that my dad saw a photo of me and asked "when did you put all that weight on?" - before he'd always think my desire to lose weight or exercise was silly.

    I know what you mean though - there are people I work with who are looking to lose maybe 4 or 5 times as much weight as I am and you can feel the negativity from them when you talk about your own weight loss. Think you've just got to remind yourself of why you doing it and who you're doing it for and not let anyone tell you it's silly because at the end of the day, you have to live with your body so you have to like it. :smile:
  • I'm in a similar boat. I can be super motivated and dedicated for about a month or two, then I see those results and think, "Oh I look fine, these three cookies won't do anything" Four days of that, and suddenly my habits have completely disappeared.

    I'm 5'1", 121 lbs, and was about 111 at my lowest, which was only about three months ago (break-up, lost job, all that jazz). I think I really just need a reminder so that when I hit those, "I look and feel great! Let me ruin it with sweets!" moments, someone can knock some sense into me. The number on the scale doesn't matter to me so much as how I feel when I look in the mirror.

    Hopefully we can keep each other on our toes (or in our running shoes!).
  • pineygirl
    pineygirl Posts: 323 Member
    I find that I really can't tell people I'm trying to loose weight, with the exception of my husband, who will sometimes tell me I'm nuts.

    I'm a lot heavier than I look. I'm not medically overweight, but I'm at the higher end of BMI scale for what's considered healthy. I was once a power lifter (back in high school) and took it up again in my early 20's. I know what it's like to have 16% body fat.

    I'm probably pushing 30% body fat currently. I know I've lost a lot of muscle and gained a lot of fat since I've slacked off. I'm in my 30's now and have some health issues (hypertension, kidney problems) and I want to have kids soon. I really want to get in better shape and be healthier before trying to conceive.
  • JHart0816
    JHart0816 Posts: 60 Member
    I totally know what you mean. I only need to lose 5 to 10 pounds and really, I'm fine where I'm at, it's just that I want to look perfect! Most of the women I know have bigger weight loss challenges, so I just keep my mouth shut around them. I think, for me, I realize that I need to continue to maintain healthy habits so that I will never become overweight. Plus by exercising regularly and eating healthy, I'm taking good care of my body, not just to look good, but to feel good and invest in my future.

    I joined this group because I knew there's be others facing the same challenges. Even if we cannot find support IRL, at least we have this board to come to for motivation and encouragement.
  • TavistockToad
    TavistockToad Posts: 35,741 Member
    focus on strength training rather than loads of cardio - this will help you lose a little body fat and give you a more toned appearance, though you may not lose weight on the scales.
  • jellybird
    jellybird Posts: 37 Member
    If they give you a hard time, I suggest not telling people you are trying to lose weight. If your family/friends make comments, just tell them you are working out and eating healthy to be in the best shape you can and as healthy as possible. How can anyone argue with that as a goal?
  • kwilson18
    kwilson18 Posts: 41 Member
    I get the same thing- I am 5'5" and about 135 and I wear a 2 if the waist is low, but that's because I have 30% bf all in my waist (which can make for an impressive muffin top if I'm not careful). I can look in the mirror with good clothes on and think "wow, I am pretty hot", but put me in a bikini and it is not pretty. But people don't see me in a bikini! I just starting Rachel Cosgrove's book, and she recommends having the mindset that "I am hot, but I want to be even healthier and hotter" (my interpretation), so I'm trying to adopt that attitude so I don't vacillate so much. I am working on logging food and getting to the gym more often, with at least 3 strength training sessions per week, and focusing on interval cardio except a long run each week (I'm signed up for a 1/2 marathon).

    I also use the excuse with people that I am trying to lower my cholesterol, and that I have to be careful because I had gestational diabetes and that places me at high risk of type 2 diabete later. That seems to quite the critics.