I can relate. My story is long, but depression and depo provera contributed to a 100 pound weight gain in about 3 years. I've struggled since my early 20's to lose it. I've done weight watchers several times, getting down as low as 171 pounds.

When I joined MFP on 2/7/12, my only true goal was DON'T QUIT!!! Bottom line was that I was frustrated with myself when I got to the low 170's and my body dysmorphia didn't allow me to see myself any differently than when I was 222 pounds. Thus I said screw it and ballooned back up to 232 pounds, and later my MFP starting weight of 254 pounds.

What changed was several major things. This next part is going to be TMI, JM style:

1. Difficulty breathing during sex.
2. Difficulty cutting my toenails, tying my shoes. I realized I was tying my shoes the way my morbidly obese father does, with one leg on a chair.
3. Nasty BM's--always loose, always telling myself "I probably have IBS"
4. Heartburn
5. Chronic pain

I was at work one day, and everyone was talking about a very pleasant patient, but one who was a challenge because she was so obese. I weighed 10 pounds more than she did. Ouch. I joined MFP the next day.

Initially, I was frustrated with how much I had lost in terms of fitness from my previous low weight. I could barely walk for more than 10 minutes on the treadmill at a snail's pace. I just kept plugging away. Again, the motto of "Don't give up, don't quit".

I also made a huge decision in this, and the JM crap serves to make me more irritated because of this. NO GIMMICKS. NO FADS.

I don't do super low fat, or low carb. I don't judge anyone who does, it's just that I learned through weight watchers that too low of fat made me miserable. I think that lead to some disordered thinking, and disordered eating on my part. I was afraid to end up back there again, and I knew that a more balanced diet would help me. I had to log my food, and learn to think about how I was feeling physically in conjunction with the numbers on the scale, and the nutrition I was consuming.

A big lesson for me has been that diet and exercise are a natural anti-depressant for me. The are truly mood elevating and energy supporting for me. Exercise, while hard to motivate to do (Still, after a year...I'll never be one of those perky girls in a pony tail talking about how fun working out is) seems to be like priming a pump. Once primed, the energy flows.

In 2005, we found ourselves with empty arms following IVF and were hurting. At that time our lives felt so out of control, and we both decided to make major career changes. It was very scary, but we are so much happier for taking that leap of faith. People have told us that we were inspirational, but I always looked at it like this: I could try and fail--have a few bumps and bruises along the way; I could try and succeed (yeah me!), or I could wish that I had done something and sit around and wonder what could have been.

If you made it this far, I hope you can take away the following:

This is a process, a long one for some people, and it's yours. Own it, make it yours, embrace it. Love yourself NOW, and don't give up on yourself. Even if you never reach that ideal weight, research shows that a healthy diet and exercise = better health. Who doesn't want that?

Keep fighting for YOU. You are definitely worth it, and even if you don't end up at that perfect weight by the specified date, you will know that you're trying. You won't be sitting on the couch going "If only I'd tried...."