My kid, my kid, my kid.

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Ack! Single mommy of a boy with behavioral/social problems in school. (At home is is totally awesome.)

When I was growing up, I was a big time binger... I got through it though, and thought I was in a happier place.

Started binging again about a year ago (20 years later), either because I was upset at my kid or my boyfriend at the time. NOW anything, and sometimes nothing, sets it off.

When I am super upset at my kid, I find myself using food to calm it.

I don't want to be this way... I only have 15 pounds to goal, but have been stuck here for months because of this stupid binging.

Help from mommies would be appreciated! What do you do when upset with kids?

Replies

  • EccentricDad
    EccentricDad Posts: 875 Member
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    I am a stay at home Dad with two kids who are societally diagnosed as "ADHD". I word it that way because there is absolutely nothing wrong with my kids. The school system that you are in must be a conservative driven school district. Yes, politics play a heavy role in schools. Some teachers believe the lie that all children are created equally, and with the right amount of discipline and with the right medications, they can learn the traditional method that has been used for decades. Other schools (normally private) are liberal and believe that each child has individual needs, rights, and liberties and need to be treated/taught based on their individual needs.

    Do not let the school system bring you down about your children. Your children are perfectly fine and they need you to be there to support them and help them understand that they are fine the way they are.

    As far as your eating. It just takes some self discipline, and not buying the foods that tempt you until you learn new coping strategies.
  • lenoresaari
    lenoresaari Posts: 500 Member
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    pray
  • ijavagypsy
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    I am a stay at home Dad with two kids who are societally diagnosed as "ADHD". I word it that way because there is absolutely nothing wrong with my kids. The school system that you are in must be a conservative driven school district. Yes, politics play a heavy role in schools. Some teachers believe the lie that all children are created equally, and with the right amount of discipline and with the right medications, they can learn the traditional method that has been used for decades. Other schools (normally private) are liberal and believe that each child has individual needs, rights, and liberties and need to be treated/taught based on their individual needs.

    Do not let the school system bring you down about your children. Your children are perfectly fine and they need you to be there to support them and help them understand that they are fine the way they are.

    As far as your eating. It just takes some self discipline, and not buying the foods that tempt you until you learn new coping strategies.

    Do you homeschool? It seems like a lovely and viable option nowadays.
  • EccentricDad
    EccentricDad Posts: 875 Member
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    I am a stay at home Dad with two kids who are societally diagnosed as "ADHD". I word it that way because there is absolutely nothing wrong with my kids. The school system that you are in must be a conservative driven school district. Yes, politics play a heavy role in schools. Some teachers believe the lie that all children are created equally, and with the right amount of discipline and with the right medications, they can learn the traditional method that has been used for decades. Other schools (normally private) are liberal and believe that each child has individual needs, rights, and liberties and need to be treated/taught based on their individual needs.

    Do not let the school system bring you down about your children. Your children are perfectly fine and they need you to be there to support them and help them understand that they are fine the way they are.

    As far as your eating. It just takes some self discipline, and not buying the foods that tempt you until you learn new coping strategies.

    Do you homeschool? It seems like a lovely and viable option nowadays.

    No. I just tell them that whether they are an academic failure or an academic genius it doesn't matter to me. All that matters to me is they learn how to take care of themselves and that they are healthy and safe. By having lower expectations, their behavior problems tend to go away, because like us as their parents with emotional eating issues due to anxiety, our children have their own means of coping with their anxiety, and hyperactivity and disobedience is their means of regaining control.

    Also as a side note, my children are only bullied by the teachers, to whom I put in their place and tell them to go eff themselves and get off my children's back. So the only reason to homeschool would be if their peers were a problem; but even then, I can volunteer at school and nip that in the bud too...
  • mamawoz
    mamawoz Posts: 31 Member
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    I'm a mom to a 16 year old boy and 13 year old girl. I know stress from children --especially my 16 year old. He's not exactly a go-getter but he's getting there. When he is good, he is great but when he is bad.... well you know. Anyway, I have the same problem with eating when things get tough. It soothes me, although afterwards it just makes me more irritable. I have to say I am trying to let some things go, because, in the end it's his life and he has to live with it. My husband has just started to be more involved and sometimes thats good and sometimes that makes me take a deeper dive into the pantry. In the end, regardless of the stressful situation that sends you eating, the challenge that we are faced with as binge/emotional eaters is to identify the trigger situation and be prepared with an alternative approach. This is hard. No other way to say it. Take a walk, breahe deeply, yoga, phone calls to supportive friends (which are truly hard to find in this day in age of "my kid is perfect"). Even a glass of wine is better than a box of cookies. As far as the whole school situation, it is what it is. In real life we have to deal with bosses that are nuts, companies that are super conservative and co-workers that aren't what we wish they would be. How we deal with these things is a skill we pick up early on as to how we tackled these same problems at school. I'm not so sure telling them they're better than the system is the way to prepare them for when they have to learn to survive in the system. But, I'm no expert and have learned that there is a lot to learn.....always.
  • rosita072216
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    I am glad i found your post. my four year old does that too me too. it could be the smallest thing like when i drop him off at school and he doesnt play with the other kids. then he cries and the teacher and i drag him in. i come home feeling terrible and try not to pig out. but then i pick him up and i just dont like the teachers method of dealing with my son. i get home feel horrible about it and by 6pm i eat all i can get my hands on. i went to church today and started praying. this seems to be the thing i needed. its not my kid's fault or mine. its the school making me feel this way. i might just pull him out of the prek and wait until kindergarten. i also just enrolled him in tae kwon do. this helps both of us deal with the stress from school and i dont want him to only have friends from there or be in that environment.
  • veggiehottie
    veggiehottie Posts: 590 Member
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    Thanks for the advice on my kid and my emotional eating, guys.

    My son is definitely very special. I try to remind myself of the positives - Quirky, helpful, caring, intelligent, and downright awesome. But can't keep still or keep his mouth shut. And everything has to be HIS way. And gets in trouble at school daily. Medication has been suggested but so far I have avoided it. I wish I could homeschool but as a single parent, have to work full time.

    I know that this trigger has the same outcome as other people's triggers. We all have different issues. It is learning how to deal with it instead of bingeing that is the problem. It is sooooo sad & ridiculous even. How you use it to soothe yourself, not caring that in the morning you will hate yourself.

    Thanks again guys! Have a great night! :)