Victory
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ObtainingBalance
Posts: 1,446 Member
Okay... this is small, and to some it wouldn't be considered a victory considering I went OVER my calorie goal and a good 500 ish over my TDEE - But to me it is progress.. more the mindset and reaction.
* My calorie goal today was 1,800 (based on the hour workout ) leaving me a deficit to lose 1lb per week... so my TDEE was probably 2,100 - 2,300 today.
I got hungry this afternoon and ate a meal. Didn't have much left for dinner (170) and I slipped... ate over that. Had too much. Got hungry again, snacked... I had 4.5 TBSP's of nutella.. Most of my eating was due to hunger, but after eating - the food intake was too much.. Meaning I ate for hunger but didn't stop quick enough; didn't keep portions reasonable enough.
My calories are now sitting at a total of 2,800 for today. I know today is just one day of the year, and can't destroy what I work for. I can still reach my goals. A lousy 500 over my total daily burn isn't going to make me fat. NOW, on the other hand... I could have easily binged. Little things like this frusterate me and make me want to binge. It could have turned into a 5,000 calorie day. I could have ate a whole jar of nutella. But I didn't. & I'm NOT GOING TO.
Sorry for the longgg post over something so silly, but writing it down is making me feel even stronger and helping me evaluate it all so I don't slip later tonight and eat more out of guilt. It's making me feel more relaxed about it. I thought coming to the forums and writing it down would help me so I don't isolate my thoughts and let perfectionist tendencies drive me to the edge!! I can always turn to this group
* My calorie goal today was 1,800 (based on the hour workout ) leaving me a deficit to lose 1lb per week... so my TDEE was probably 2,100 - 2,300 today.
I got hungry this afternoon and ate a meal. Didn't have much left for dinner (170) and I slipped... ate over that. Had too much. Got hungry again, snacked... I had 4.5 TBSP's of nutella.. Most of my eating was due to hunger, but after eating - the food intake was too much.. Meaning I ate for hunger but didn't stop quick enough; didn't keep portions reasonable enough.
My calories are now sitting at a total of 2,800 for today. I know today is just one day of the year, and can't destroy what I work for. I can still reach my goals. A lousy 500 over my total daily burn isn't going to make me fat. NOW, on the other hand... I could have easily binged. Little things like this frusterate me and make me want to binge. It could have turned into a 5,000 calorie day. I could have ate a whole jar of nutella. But I didn't. & I'm NOT GOING TO.
Sorry for the longgg post over something so silly, but writing it down is making me feel even stronger and helping me evaluate it all so I don't slip later tonight and eat more out of guilt. It's making me feel more relaxed about it. I thought coming to the forums and writing it down would help me so I don't isolate my thoughts and let perfectionist tendencies drive me to the edge!! I can always turn to this group
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Replies
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I love this post! I love reading about victories over bingeing! And I love reading the pride you feel in your victory!
Congratulations!!0 -
I am so proud of you!!! That is AMAZING progress!0
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No that is wonderful! I'm the same way.... even if it was 100 calories I would be so pissed at myself I would just binge.... This is how I had to start last year and it has made a world of difference!0
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Today I did not make it to my calorie goal. (1,370 + exercise calories.... didn't work out today so I didn't have any "extra" to use)
I'm at 2,200 calories right now. My daily calorie burn is around 1,600-1,800 on sedentary days. But, on active days it can be closer to 2,000-2,200 . As far as counting the calories as a binge, overeating, or 'normal' ... I think I would classify it as overeating b/c within the last hour I've had 1,000 calories. OR maybe that's a binge. Urgh... I know I've asked you on here and you say its my decision on what I classify a 'binge'. And I'm sometimes unsure
All I know is I consumed too much calories in one hour, and 75% of the eating was done out of non hunger reasons. (I ate a small meal out of SLIGHT hunger...then I went back and kept eating.)
ANYHOW.. The reason I am writing about it here right now is because I'm scared I'm going to go set my diary on private and then have a binge. I'm afraid I'll walk around the kitchen again and make it up to 3,500 + calories. I'm trying to picture how sick I would feel after ...it would NOT be a good idea. My head knows that. Not sure why I still want to binge. I think it's the taste of the food + the guilt. Mostly the guilt of going off my planned calorie allowance.
I will NOT binge tonight.0 -
Spoke too soon. Someone sabotaged themselves tonight... =(
Ways I could have prevented overeating MORE (sighs)
* Leaving the house
*NOT going back to the kitchen (which i did -.-.. .wth. IDK why.)
*taking a bath
*watching a movie WITH someone and no food.
Felt like editing my post while I still could, and deleting everything I said... but then thats just hiding it. This is a support group specifically for bed so I shouldnt be so paranoid.0 -
So sorry to hear your having difficulties with the binge. I'm constantly thinking about food. But lately, I find myself going to bed at 6 pm if I'm not driving the kids around somewhere. It's just easier to fight the URGE to eat. If I'm anywhere near the kitchen (read: downstairs), I'll binge0
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Glad you didn't delete it! I learn so much reading these posts and you being so open and candid about what so much of us struggle with helps so many. Don't be down on yourself I know you will use this as a learning experience! I am rooting for you!!0
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It happens you. And you learn more each time it happens. Sometimes, visualising my body as a living thing, complete with feelings, and all the sugar and fat damaging and hurting that living thing, and making it cry, helps me. It is a very strong picture, especially if you actually feel that pain that you are putting your body through.0
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You can do it!! Good job!! This is a success! keep up the good work!! and you are right 500 will not be gained weight and 5000 is a 1 pound gain for sure.0
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Sometimes, visualising my body as a living thing, complete with feelings, and all the sugar and fat damaging and hurting that living thing, and making it cry, helps me. It is a very strong picture, especially if you actually feel that pain that you are putting your body through.
This is powerful. I'm going to file this away into my binge prevention toolkit. Thanks for sharing it.0 -
Spoke too soon. Someone sabotaged themselves tonight... =(
[....]
Felt like editing my post while I still could, and deleting everything I said... but then thats just hiding it. This is a support group specifically for bed so I shouldnt be so paranoid.
SOOO impressed with your courage and honesty in just keeping it real. I imagine it took a lot of guts to leave it all there, and I think you should take some strength from that act alone.
Do you know what was going on? Why you felt the urge to binge? Sometimes that can be the hardest thing to pinpoint but the most useful information to look for.
Be good to yourself, IceyRain.0 -
It happens you. And you learn more each time it happens. Sometimes, visualising my body as a living thing, complete with feelings, and all the sugar and fat damaging and hurting that living thing, and making it cry, helps me. It is a very strong picture, especially if you actually feel that pain that you are putting your body through.
That's a good idea. Thank you!0 -
Spoke too soon. Someone sabotaged themselves tonight... =(
[....]
Felt like editing my post while I still could, and deleting everything I said... but then thats just hiding it. This is a support group specifically for bed so I shouldnt be so paranoid.
SOOO impressed with your courage and honesty in just keeping it real. I imagine it took a lot of guts to leave it all there, and I think you should take some strength from that act alone.
Do you know what was going on? Why you felt the urge to binge? Sometimes that can be the hardest thing to pinpoint but the most useful information to look for.
Be good to yourself, IceyRain.
Yeah, it's too silly wanting to delete and hide binges when this is the only group I can talk freely about them.
I knew I needed to give my accurate binge count today, & I'm going to.
I think the only triggers were...
- didn't exercise for a couple days.
- Already went over my calorie goal, which makes me mad when I do that. (Black and white thinking that comes now and then..working on it)
- Out of habit? It'd been awhile since I had a binge. Sometimes I feel like I crave digging into food like that. Carbs, lots of them.
Anddd... It was a total binge, probably 5,000 + calories for the day.
I feel bloated today, I think my face looks puffy.0 -
Slipped and had too much junk foods.... my calories are now at 2,600(total). I don't know, it was probably a binge.
Quote I saw in the forums:If you're heading somewhere in the car and wanted to get there by 5, but realized you were going to be a few minutes late, would you just give up and swerve into a bridge abutment?
Sort of like the cell phone quote I've shared before... reminds me that this day isn't totally screwed even if I feel failureish right now. This too shall pass~0 -
I've been a binge eater for as long as I can remember and I have had all the same experiences and emotions you have described in all of your above posts. I read a book recently called " Diet Rehab" and watched a documentary on Netflix called "Hungry for Change" after having read and watched these 2 things I can honestly say that for the first time in 20+ years I have not woken up in the morning and my first thought of the day was not food related. I use to wake up and my first thoughts would honestly be- how do I avoid food today, can I muster up enough will power to say no to eating junk...all day my thoughts mostly consisted of avoiding food, losing weight and if I ever gave in I would hate myself. These two resources completely changed my relationship with food- it was my ah-ha moment. My thoughts have gone from I can't eat this or that to I don't want to eat it because of what it does to my body. Nw if I eat a snickers bar it's because I want it not because I was weak and gave in to an addiction- this feeling is so liberating. Do I eat above my calories still-sometimes, but it never turns into a binge, just 100-200 calories over what was allotted for the day- and I'm ok with that. Don't be hard on yourself- please read this book and watch this documentary- you may learn something and have a little bit of an ah-ha moment yourself. Best of luck and hugs to you.0
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That's awesome! I'm trying to view things in that same light now that I've admitted my BED issues. I use a Fitbit for daily burn and while I know it's not necessarily perfectly accurate; it gives me something to go against.0
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I've been a binge eater for as long as I can remember and I have had all the same experiences and emotions you have described in all of your above posts. I read a book recently called " Diet Rehab" and watched a documentary on Netflix called "Hungry for Change" after having read and watched these 2 things I can honestly say that for the first time in 20+ years I have not woken up in the morning and my first thought of the day was not food related. I use to wake up and my first thoughts would honestly be- how do I avoid food today, can I muster up enough will power to say no to eating junk...all day my thoughts mostly consisted of avoiding food, losing weight and if I ever gave in I would hate myself. These two resources completely changed my relationship with food- it was my ah-ha moment. My thoughts have gone from I can't eat this or that to I don't want to eat it because of what it does to my body. Nw if I eat a snickers bar it's because I want it not because I was weak and gave in to an addiction- this feeling is so liberating. Do I eat above my calories still-sometimes, but it never turns into a binge, just 100-200 calories over what was allotted for the day- and I'm ok with that. Don't be hard on yourself- please read this book and watch this documentary- you may learn something and have a little bit of an ah-ha moment yourself. Best of luck and hugs to you.
Thanks, I'm going to look it up on netflix. I've heard it and many people recommend it I've just never stopped to watch it.0 -
That's awesome! I'm trying to view things in that same light now that I've admitted my BED issues. I use a Fitbit for daily burn and while I know it's not necessarily perfectly accurate; it gives me something to go against.
Good deal. 0 -
4:35PM ~
I slipped and ate 1,000 - 1,100 in one sitting. I was at 1,400 ish calories but now it's up to 2,400 ish . :noway:
I will not consider this a binge, considering I was hungry when I ate. I did, however, make wrong food choices... which fueled me badly to continue heap by heaping tablespoon of this addictive spread (not going to trigger with food words). This food choice really needs to be out of my diet, it is the cause of some of my falls.) :indifferent:
I'm writing it on this forum topic I made - Because it seems to help me and makes me feel stronger as I write it down.
I am not letting 'the binge' win today. I want to enjoy my weekend. I've already had a few personal issues to stress me out this week, I do not need to make my body feel crappy too. :flowerforyou:
♥♥0 -
4:35PM ~
I slipped and ate 1,000 - 1,100 in one sitting. I was at 1,400 ish calories but now it's up to 2,400 ish . :noway:
I will not consider this a binge, considering I was hungry when I ate. I did, however, make wrong food choices... which fueled me badly to continue heap by heaping tablespoon of this addictive spread (not going to trigger with food words). This food choice really needs to be out of my diet, it is the cause of some of my falls.) :indifferent:
I'm writing it on this forum topic I made - Because it seems to help me and makes me feel stronger as I write it down.
I am not letting 'the binge' win today. I want to enjoy my weekend. I've already had a few personal issues to stress me out this week, I do not need to make my body feel crappy too. :flowerforyou:
♥♥
Love everything you wrote here! 0
